Democratic Underground Latest Greatest Lobby Journals Search Options Help Login
Google

Divorce Question

Printer-friendly format Printer-friendly format
Printer-friendly format Email this thread to a friend
Printer-friendly format Bookmark this thread
This topic is archived.
Home » Discuss » Archives » General Discussion (1/22-2007 thru 12/14/2010) Donate to DU
 
yankeeinlouisiana Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-04-08 10:39 PM
Original message
Divorce Question
It appears my husband and I may be getting a divorce.  Nothing
has been settled yet and no lawyers have been called, but
things seem to be headed in that direction.

Back in June of this year, my husband and a partner opened a
diner. We financed our part by using our savings, his
investments and inheritance I received from my mother.  He
has since bought out his partner and paperwork has been
updated listing only his name, unfortunately, my name is not
on any of the paperwork.  However, I have been working there
(for free) and taking part of the paperwork.

Does anyone know if I have any claim to part of the diner?
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
Tuesday Afternoon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-04-08 10:45 PM
Response to Original message
1. ~
Edited on Thu Dec-04-08 11:06 PM by Tuesday Afternoon
:yoiks:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
SharonAnn Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-04-08 10:46 PM
Response to Original message
2. You'd better get a lawyer, and quickly. Before he does. This is going
to get real messy, and you're going to have a hard time proving what you've put into it. His putting it in his name alone tells you about how he thinks about this.

Get legal help now! Protect yourself. It will be really hard to do that if he files first and you have to end up trying to fight what he set up.

The American Family Law association (right name?) has a web site where you can research people specializing in family law in your area. Get it done! Now!
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
yankeeinlouisiana Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-04-08 10:49 PM
Response to Reply #2
4. Thanks for the advice.
I think I do need to speak to a lawyer and quickly. I was really hoping and praying it wasn't going to come down to this.

:-(
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Sherman A1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-05-08 04:55 AM
Response to Reply #2
21. Bingo!
I went through a divorce in the mid 90's and together with my Charming Ex Wife, The Dragon Lady, we owned a business together. I will be happy to offer whatever advice I can just PM me if you would like to.

I did end up with the biz at the end (which eventually closed, several years later), but did buy her out on a mutually agreeable number.

I would suggest not just getting a lawyer, but getting a Good Lawyer..... The difference is getting a settlement vs getting a fair settlement.

Best of Luck!


Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
EFerrari Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-04-08 10:47 PM
Response to Original message
3. Get a lawyer and don't wait. Even if you think you'll get back together
do it any way. It's your job to protect you. Get it straightened out. :hug:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
yankeeinlouisiana Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-04-08 10:49 PM
Response to Reply #3
5. Thanks for the hug!
I needed it.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
elleng Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-04-08 10:50 PM
Response to Original message
6. Make a written record, immediately,
of the facts you've stated, and can think of, that substantiate your contributions, concrete or otherwise, like time spent, to the business. AND get a lawyer.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
yankeeinlouisiana Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-04-08 10:52 PM
Response to Reply #6
8. Great idea.
As this progresses, I'll probably be too distracted to remember a lot of details.

Thanks.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
EFerrari Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-04-08 10:53 PM
Response to Reply #6
10. That's a really good idea. It helps you keep track of things even with a lawyer.
:thumbsup:
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
SmileyRose Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-04-08 10:51 PM
Response to Original message
7. lawyer lawyer lawyer.
Edited on Thu Dec-04-08 10:52 PM by SmileyRose
Keep it to yourself for now but Get a lawyer - yesterday. Start grabbing proof of the financial input you had into the business

You need a lawyer to tell you what proof to grab before the husband finds out you have a lawyer.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
sandnsea Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-04-08 10:53 PM
Response to Original message
9. Louisiana is a "community property" state
That tends to mean everything you own is split 50/50, including what you came to the marriage with. But like everybody said, you'll need a lawyer, although I can't see why it would matter who got one "first". Except to prevent him from hiding money and such. Man, there's a lot of this going around. Tough times.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
yankeeinlouisiana Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-04-08 10:56 PM
Response to Reply #9
12. I know what you mean.
I've heard of a lot of people breaking up. It's not going to be a very merry xmas and I'm really dreading new year's eve.

This really sucks!!!
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
elleng Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-04-08 11:36 PM
Response to Reply #12
19. DEAR yankee,
hang with US new year's eve!
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Stinky The Clown Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-04-08 10:56 PM
Response to Original message
11. There is a high likelyhood you can claim a **lot** of that diner
Get yee to a lawyer post haste.

Do NOT wait for filings. Do not wait for him to make the first move.

Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
yankeeinlouisiana Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-04-08 10:57 PM
Response to Reply #11
15. Oh, Husb2Sparkly!
I've always loved your posts. Thanks and I will post haste!!
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Lil Missy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-04-08 10:56 PM
Response to Original message
13. LAWYER! And NOW!
Advice from DU is worth every penny you pay for it. Nothing.

Good Luck.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
pacalo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-04-08 10:57 PM
Response to Original message
14. Are you in Louisiana?
If so, hope this helps:

Louisiana is a community property state, meaning that property and debts acquired during the marriage shall be split equally, unless the parties reach an agreement independent of a court ruling. The community property comprises: property acquired during the existence of the legal regime through the effort, skill, or industry of either spouse; property acquired with community things or with community and separate things, unless classified as separate property under Article 2341; property donated to the spouses jointly; natural and civil fruits of community property; damages awarded for loss or injury to a thing belonging to the community; and all other property not classified by law as separate property.

http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/statedivorcelaws/a/L...


And beware of any hidden assets that your husband may keep from you in regard to his business.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
yankeeinlouisiana Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-04-08 11:00 PM
Response to Reply #14
16. Yep, I'm in Louisiana.
Yes, that did help and I doubt there are any hidden assets, we're not that wealthy. We're in debt because of this diner. I figure I should try and get something from the diner, because all of the debt is both of our obligation.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
pacalo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-04-08 11:18 PM
Response to Reply #16
17. I wish you luck, yankee.
A big :hug: for you.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
yankeeinlouisiana Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Dec-04-08 11:20 PM
Response to Reply #17
18. Thanks.
Fortunately, the staff has been very supportive of me. I totally broke down the other day. Trust me, I didn't want to and I tried to leave before I did, but no such luck.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
JDPriestly Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-05-08 01:54 AM
Response to Original message
20. Depends on state law. Start calling lawyers tomorrow, and shop
around. Don't take the first one you talk to. Be careful. You need a stickler for detail who is flexible enough and socially adept enough to drive a good bargain. You need a fighter with a good personality and a strong sense of right and wrong. It will take effort to find a reasonably priced lawyer who has both integrity and a fighting spirit.

When your lawyer asks you to sign a contract for his/her services, read it carefully. And ask the lawyer what various terms mean. Most lawyers will give you an hourly rate and then bill in increments of the hour, say billing you for every 6 minutes. But that doesn't tell you much. You need to know what kinds of work are included in the billing rate. Check out the lawyer's staff. A lot of your contact may be with the lawyer's staff.

You need to get going on this. And don't be a martyr. You will regret it some day if you do not stick up for yourself.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
LeftyMom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-05-08 04:58 AM
Response to Reply #20
22. That's a good point about staff.
I used to work in rental property and in looking for a good eviction lawyer I tell people they're really shopping for the one with the smartest receptionist, since ever question she answers is one they don't have to pay hourly rate for, and every one she answers wrong is likely to cost money.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Nay Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-05-08 05:53 AM
Response to Original message
23. As others have said, get a good lawyer, but also gather together inheritance
Edited on Fri Dec-05-08 05:56 AM by Nay
papers that show how much money you inherited, and that you put that money into the business. Also, if there is any paperwork on how many hours you worked in the business, or any evidence that you worked there daily (did you sign checks, write up customer orders in your own handwriting, etc.?), get those papers together NOW. Once they're destroyed, you have no proof that you contributed substantially to the business. Do not rely on your husband to be honest in his dealings with you -- so many women are screwed thinking that.

If you think he may be hiding money, you'll need a forensic accountant, but your lawyer should take care of that.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
michreject Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-05-08 06:02 AM
Response to Original message
24. How many years have you been married?
Over or under ten?
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
yankeeinlouisiana Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-05-08 06:03 PM
Response to Reply #24
25. We've been married for 17 years.
It'll be 18 in February. Also, we have 3 childen together, age 16, 13 and 11. At least I don't have toddlers running around.

;-)
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
michreject Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-05-08 08:25 PM
Response to Reply #25
27. 10 years is the magic number
You can claim his earning as yours for social security.

As others have advised, see an atty.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
pitohui Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-05-08 08:44 PM
Response to Reply #27
29. well that's a federal not a state thing
but yeah because they've been married over 10 yrs there is no way that he can cut her out of claiming the soc. security based on his income if it's higher

so that's something but prob. at the moment they're not quite old enough to worry about that, it's something to file in the memory files for later
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
ddeclue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-05-08 06:05 PM
Response to Original message
26. You need a licensed attorney not amateur (wrong) advice from DU'ers like us...
I'm not an attorney and didn't stay in a Holiday Inn Express last night...

Doug D.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
pitohui Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-05-08 08:37 PM
Response to Original message
28. yes as others say louisiana is a community property state
Edited on Fri Dec-05-08 08:41 PM by pitohui
you may thank edwin edwards, it has actually been this way for decades now that wives are entitled to half -- altho i would still pull together the docs showing that my inheritance went into the diner

that said, i would never buy property w. my husband and not have my name on the paperwork but it should be perfectly safe

it's a bad time to sell a business so you will both probably have to keep working together

any way to prevent this divorce and work it out?

you will get your cut, i'm just saying, it's a terrible time to divide anything up like this...same for your house...if your house don't sell, half of nothing is still nothing

also see a local louisiana atty w. experience in family law and good luck but i would personally do all i could ( i realize it takes two to tango ) to see if you can reconcile -- as others point out, yr husband cutting your name out of the paperwork is a bad sign and obv. if he has other plans, you can't force him to want to work with you, but fuck, that's so sad, what a shitty time to have to figure out how to do two households instead of one

gl whatever you do
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
LWolf Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-05-08 08:48 PM
Response to Original message
30. I don't know, but
I'd like to point you in this direction, in case you haven't seen it; you'll find people with recent experience there. ;)

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.ph...
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
TexasObserver Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Dec-05-08 08:50 PM
Response to Original message
31. Yes, but if you don't get to a lawyer ASAP, you could lose it.
You took property that was your separate property and invested it in his company.

You need a lawyer fast.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
DU AdBot (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view 
this author's profile Click to add 
this author to your buddy list Click to add 
this author to your Ignore list Tue Jul 29th 2014, 07:06 AM
Response to Original message
Advertisements [?]
 Top

Home » Discuss » Archives » General Discussion (1/22-2007 thru 12/14/2010) Donate to DU

Powered by DCForum+ Version 1.1 Copyright 1997-2002 DCScripts.com
Software has been extensively modified by the DU administrators


Important Notices: By participating on this discussion board, visitors agree to abide by the rules outlined on our Rules page. Messages posted on the Democratic Underground Discussion Forums are the opinions of the individuals who post them, and do not necessarily represent the opinions of Democratic Underground, LLC.

Home  |  Discussion Forums  |  Journals |  Store  |  Donate

About DU  |  Contact Us  |  Privacy Policy

Got a message for Democratic Underground? Click here to send us a message.

© 2001 - 2011 Democratic Underground, LLC