*** DUzy Awards for week ending November 21, 2008 ***

JeffR

(1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore

Fri Nov-21-08 08:24 PM
Original message

Welcome to the audaciously hopeful DUzy Awards, a compendium of star-spangled amusement from this week on DU. Congratulations to this week's winners!

The DUzy Awards will be announced every Friday, if I get around to it. Previous awards can be found in my journal.

Note to Mods: Skinner has authorized the DUzy Awards to be posted in GD.

Special thanks to WakeMeUp, awoke_in_2003, yardwork, dixiegrrrrl, Peake, ColbertWatcher, swampg8r, Wetzelbill, krispos42, KamaAina, racaulk, arcadian, AZDemDist6, wryter2000, Warpy, dicksteele, grantcart, Breeze54, DinahMoeHum, Crisco, scarletwoman, eridani and NanceGreggs for their invaluable assistance with this edition.

Happy Thanksgiving, DU. Please read this thread: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4509397 and write to the Obama Transition Team at: http://www.change.gov/page/s/contact

This should have appeared last week.

On a thread by AZDemDist6:

      Kick this if you want a user name amnesty from Skinner like in 2004

response #19 by Buns_of_Fire:

      For those who want it, here's a kick.
As for me, it was stupid yesterday, it's stupid today, and it'll be stupid tomorrow. Besides, I'm thinking of marketing hot sauce in the future ("Buns_of_Fire Hot Sauce -- If you thought it burned going in, wait till you experience it coming out!").

(If that doesn't work, I'm thinking of copywriting the letter "E".)

response #20 by Art_from_Ark:

      I want to change my user name
to "The_poster_formerly_known_as_Art_from_Ark"

response #96 by cliffordu:

      I wanna be grovelbot for a while.

response #104 by PeterU:

      Amnety now!

response #176 by leftstreet:

      Make usernames offical!

response #164 by Oregone:

      Only if I can change my name to AssCrackLint
Sign me up.

response #196 by Wetzelbill:

      Yes I believe "Wetzelbill08" and "KurovskiisOneofUs" are both looking for a change right now
Now to mantioned "Mercer4Prez" and "DemsFerPalin."

response #233 by Buzz Clik:

      I got an email from "I_Luv_Dubya" and "Cheney's_Whore", and they want amnesty.

response #266 by Hissyspit:

      I want to change my username to...
Johann Gambolputty
de von Ausfern
schplenden schlitter crasscrenbon
fried digger dingle dangle dongle dungle burstein von knackerthrasher
applebanger horowitz ticolensic
granderknotty spelltinkle grandlich grumblemeyer
spelterwasser kurstlich himbleeisen bahnwagen
gutenabend bitte ein n�rnburger
bratwustle gerspurten mitz weimacheluber
hundsfut gumberaber sh�nedanker
kalbsfleisch mittler
aucher von Hautkopft

of Ulm.

response #268 by JoeIsOneOfUs:

      Yes please, I didn't anticipate being mistaken for LIEberman or the Plumber
:cry:

GD, November 14, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4459429

OP by Old Crusoe:

      The coveted Tanya Harding Award this year, IMO, goes to
Joe the Plumber.

response #2 by opihimoimoi:

      He beat out LIDDY DOLE for the prize by 32 votes....LOL

response #4 by YOY:

      Not the "Backward B girl"?
Oh noes!!!! I was hoping so much for Ashley's unanimous win...

GDP, November 16, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7877300

OP by leftofthedial:

      SHOCKING RUMOR!!!! Obama transition leak!
According to staffers high up in the Obama transition team, President-Elect Obama is set to offer a cabinet position to a prominent member of the online community Democratic Underground!

Reportedly, on Monday, DUer leftofthedial will be offered the position of Secretary of Whatever.

According to sources, when asked of the possibility of leftofthedial being offered a cabinet post, Rahm Emanuel replied, "Whatever."

This marks the first Obama appointment that has not been met with widespread approval on the popular Internet site, Democratic Underground.

It is expected that a related announcement will follow this week, when PE Obama will announce his choice for Secretary of WTF.

response #1 by Winnipegosis:

      Congratulations!
Do you need an assistant?

response #20 by leftofthedial:

      whomever
no wait. that's another department.

response #2 by Truth2Tell:

      All I can say is that I have been vetted for Secretary of STFU.
I really can't tell you any more than that. I'm sure you understand.

response #5 by tavalon:

      NO!!! STFU!!!!

response #3 by bob_weaver:

      whatever

response #4 by Pharaoh:

      Rumor has it
I am in the running for who gives a rats ass, but that is only an unsubstantiated rumor :toast:

response #6 by Political Heretic:

      I have been asked to be Secretary of Word.
Word.

response #11 by TexasProgresive:

      I've been offered head of the dept of SNAFU.

response #24 by leftofthedial:

      after the last 8 years
you'll have your work cut out for you.

response #12 by struggle4progress:

      DUer GetLost is also on the short list!
In response to questions about what other DUers might be offered positions in the new Administration, one source said "GetLost!"

response #14 by jhain:

      I got an email saying
I was to report to a diner in Chicago and be interviewed for Secretary Of Waffles!!

Who wants to be my Deputy Secretary of Syrup?

response #26 by leftofthedial:

      Can't.
I'm in a jam.

response #36 by DearAbby:

      I have just received word that I will be Secretary of
"Don't make me stop this 'meeting' and go over there."

President elect Obama, seeing the size of my purse and MuuMuu (which will be the rage in no time) has found me, DearAbby best suited for this position.

If you don't believe me, ask me, just don't make me stop this thread and go over there.

response #37 by rebel with a cause:

      I am up for chair of the Drama Department.
My job will be to express all the outrage and panic that is out there to anyone who will listen and leave all the serious problem solving to Obama and the rest of his Administration. ;)

response #40 by Chisox08:

      I'm up for the department of Palin translation
but I'm holding out for The Secretary of Pooper Scooper.

response #44 by leftofthedial:

      aren't those the same?

GD, November 16, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4472527

On a thread by tekisui:

Kissinger Says Clinton Would Be Outstanding at State

response #1 by ocelot:

Would that endorsement be the Kissinger of Death?

GDP, November 16, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7877979

On a thread by malik flavors:

Why Do So Many Of You Worship Bill Clinton, Yet Call Edwards And Spitzer, Scum Of The Earth?

response #106 by Spectral Music:

Hey I like Spitzer
I think he got a raw deal. Maybe his firing was related to the stock market problems?

GDP, November 16, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7878682

OP by MichiganVote:

      Hey, what's Palin going to call her book?

response #1 by Shakespeare:

      "Also, progressing my career. You betcha!"
Page after page of not a whole hell of a lot.

response #29 by MichiganVote:

      Maybe they'll have one of those things that shows her wink on the cover when you tilt the book.

response #6 by Olney Blue:

      The Big Alaski- starring the Dude.

response #9 by Starbucks Anarchist:

      "Run-On: Apply Directly to the Brain."

response #11 by MarkInCA:

      I don't know, but I'm sure
that the title will have a lot of words in it, make little sense, and leave you shaking your head. You betcha.

response #15 by Motown_Johnny:

      Politics for Dummies, or How to succeed in Politics without really trying

response #16 by Jennicut:

      "Also too and also about and also"

response #20 by MarkInCA:

      "In This Respect"

response #22 by Juniperx:

      My Pet Moose... eom

response #24 by MPK:

      "Here is Something Else I Don't Read"

response #39 by casus belli:

      "See John Run". n/t

response #42 by IDemo:

      "I can see Pennsylvania Avenue"

response #43 by HousePainter:

      Audacity of a Dope

response #45 by MichiganVote:

      LOL...or High On Jesus, Down on Obama

response #44 by truthisfreedom:

      "How I took the GOP and
�˙pɐǝɥ sʇı uo ʎןǝʇǝןdɯoɔ ʇı pǝuɹnʇ

response #58 by Cleita:

      "View From the Bridge....to Political Nowhere" n/t

response #60 by 1Hippiechick:

      How to Conduct a Political Campaign and in the Process Help the Press Regain their Credibility, the
Republican Party Energize Their Base, and to Show the American People that a Washington Oustider Who is also a Maverick is the Best Person to Run a Country of Small Town Patriotic Americans Who Believe in Patriotism, Continuing the War in Iraq According to the Bush Doctrine Also and Who Believe that any Candidate Who Consorts with Terrorists and Cannot or Will Not Produce a Birth Certificate Should Not be Allowed to Run for the Presidency Becase His Most Significant Accomplishment in the Senate was Voting Present and Community Organization Which Lead him to the Living Room of Bill Ayers Where He Began His Political Career (although he would tell you that he hardly knows Bill Ayres) and Who Still May not be Named the 44th President of the United States Because it will be Discovered that He Actually was Born in Kenya Although His Mother was an American Which Guarantees His Citizenship in the Good Ol' US of A Where I Want to Give a Shout Out to all the Fabulous Supporters Who Followed our Campaign From Town to Town Where We Met Alan the Actor, Bill the Beverage Distributor, Carol the Cake Decorator, Dan the Doctor, Edna the Electrologist, Frank the Factor, Gary the Garage Mechanic, Harry the HVAC tech, Iris the Inventor, Jay the Jack of all Trades, Karen the Knitter, Larry the Longshoreman, Mike the Milkman, Nancy the Nurse, Opal the Opthalmologist, Pete the Proctologist, Queenie the Quality Inspector, Rosie the Riveter, Sam the Safety Engineer, Tom the Tire Dealer, Ulysses the Union Organizer, Victor the Veep of his Company, William the Wine Distributor, Xena the X-ray technician, and Zora the Zoologist, Only a Few of the Many who Came and Stood in the Rain to See us While we Waited Inside Waiting for the Rain to Abate in Order to Preserve the Wardrobe that was Loaned to my Family So that We Looked Like We Belonged with That Left Elitist Crowd Instead of the Wasilla Hillbillies We Appeared to Be as Evidenced in the Very Casual Wardrobe I wore as Governor of Alaska and Captured on Film for the Left to Make Fun of While at the same Time Attacking those Brave Parents Who Believe that Life Begins at Conception and Who Believe the Stem Cell Research is Wrong Unless it Will be Used to cure the Snake Bites incurred During Snake Handling Services or Witch Doctor Incantations to Rid the World of the Evil Left and to Preserve our Country for Future Generations of the Only True Americans--Republicans."

response #69 by pdxmom:

      My Old Goat: Stories from the Campaign Trail. N/T

response #73 by GreatCaesarsGhost:

      Mommy Deerest

GDP, November 17, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7883751

Poll question by stopbush:

What Are Your Eating Traditions At Thanksgiving?
Is it a normal meal with a holiday patina, or is it a chance to pig out like there's no tomorrow?

Vote below ;):

:bluebox: It's a normal meal. No pig out in any sense whatsoever.

:bluebox: It's normal plus a little extra...maybe a couple of desserts.

:bluebox: It's beyond normal...I'll overeat...it's a tradition

:bluebox: It's abnormal...I eat like there's no tomorrow...my family has a contest

:bluebox: It's disgusting...my family fights over the good places to get prone after dinner

:bluebox: It's beyond disgusting, it's newsworthy...the local media shows up to tape the aftermath

:bluebox: It's so bad that I've already started, like the guys who train for eating contests

:bluebox: Other

At press time, "It's normal plus a little extra...maybe a couple of desserts." was winning with 43% of the votes. Sure, uh-huh.

The Lounge (moved from Religion/Theology, where it had been moved from GD), November 17, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x8247848

On a thread by babylonsister:

Record Numbers Seeking Bush Pardons

response #1 by SpiralHawk:

"Mea maxima culpa - we are soo guilty - pardon us" - Vast Republicon Conspiracy
"We have pissed all over America with our lies, corruption, incompetence, greed, hypocrisy, arrogance, and our Wide Stance, diaper-clad family values deviancy, But of course, as usual, we want no blame or responsibility for our Pharisitic Ways

"Please screw America again, beloved Commander AWOL Bush, and give us a free pass, and a mega-billion dollar Golden Parachute - Smirk"

- Vast Republicon Conspiracy of Corruption, Lies, and Failure

Nifty graphic too!

GD, November 17, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4481780

Poll question by Deep13:

What will you miss about Bush?
I know, the reflexive answer is "not much." But that is kind of what I mean. I have developed a certain patter of thinking during the past eight years. What part of that will be the hardest to give up. (You may infer an "other" option by posting something.)

:bluebox: Making air quotes with fingers whenever you say "the president."

:bluebox: Can no longer laugh at expressions like hail to the thief, Darth Cheney, President Dumbass and It Takes a Village Idiot.

:bluebox: Will miss regular psychiatric therapy.

:bluebox: Can no longer just assume government is out to screw us.

:bluebox: Chugging a fifth of Scotch before watching SOTU.

:bluebox: Reporting of good news will cause cognitive dissonance.

:bluebox: That Letterman skit of presidential speeches where Bush always says something stupid.

:bluebox: That noise on the telephone that sounds like someone is listening.

:bluebox: The expectation of a knock on the door at 3:00 a.m. by dark-suited Blackwater agents.

:bluebox: Drugs, booze escapist fantasies are inexplicably less uplifting than real life.

At press time, "That Letterman skit of presidential speeches where Bush always says something stupid." was winning with 71% of the votes. Sure, uh-huh.

The Lounge, November 17, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x8246587

OP by KamaAina:

GD: You've got 30 minutes...
:popcorn:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=389&topic_id=4473026&mesg_id=4473026

response #6 by DS1:

Great
Now my box turtle has gone back in his hideaway. He's usually in there for a week!

The Lounge, November 17, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x8247448

OP by Oeditpus Rex:

      Replace any word in an advertising slogan with 'crap'
Crap: The Other White Meat.

GO! :bounce:

response #1 by DS1:

      I'm Crappin' it!

response #2 by Parche:

      "We Love To Crap, And It Shows"
:woohoo: :hi:

response #3 by AspieGrrl:

      CNN: The Most Trusted Name in Crap.

response #4 by rug:

      We're #2. We Try Harder.

response #10 by mainegreen:

      Dude, you're getting a crap!

response #11 by mainegreen:

      Or alternatively: Crap, you're getting a Dell!

response #12 by KitchenWitch:

      Crap, it's what's for dinner

response #13 by chimpsrsmarter:

      Finger-lickin' crap.

response #14 by Candy-O:

      C-R-A-P Spells Relief.
Crap: It Does A Body Good.

Crap, Crap, Fizz, Fizz, Oh, What A Relief It Is!

Where's The Crap?

Crap! Crackle! Pop!

response #15 by mwooldri:

      I might get fired for this one: My Life, My Crap. Amex.

response #16 by MassLiberal:

      Sometimes you feel like a crap, sometimes you don't.

response #17 by charlie and algernon:

      Got Crap?

response #18 by Winebrat:

      Crap Outside the Bun

response #21 by pokerfan:

      You deserve a crap today
That could actually work...

response #23 by Dyedinthewoolliberal:

      Crap!
It's job one...........

response #29 by BurtWorm:

      Please don't squeeze the crap

response #31 by VenusRising:

      Live in your world, Crap in ours.
:rofl:

response #34 by MrsBrady:

      i'd like to teach the world to crap in perfect harmony
coke, 1971

response #38 by jakefrep:

      Crap on! Crap off! The Crapper!

response #45 by rcrush:

      Now you're crapping with power!

response #53 by Tom Kitten:

      If your crap lasts longer than four hours
Please consult your physician!

response #79 by bob_weaver:

      Gee, your crap smells terrific!

response #88 by JVS:

      I can't believe it's not crap

And a big steaming pile of other good responses.

The Lounge, November 17, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x8248095

On a poll by oktoberain:

Should severely mentally-defective people be imprisoned for crimes they commit?

response #1 by cliffordu:

LEAVE PRESIDENT BUSH ALONE, GODDAMMIT!!!!

GD, November 18, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4485854

On a thread by Danascot:

It's official, Budweiser is no longer a "Real American" beer
"Belgium's InBev (INB.BT) completed its $52 billion acquisition of U.S. brewer Anheuser-Busch Cos. (BUD) Tuesday following regulatory approval from China, the last remaining hurdle for the deal, earlier in the day.

InBev paid $70 a share for Anheuser-Busch's shares, which stopped trading at the close of business Monday, ending the U.S. company's 150 years of independence..."

response #27 by MineralMan:

They're actively breeding more Draft Horses...
in anticipation of higher demand. Each horse can only produce so much Budweiser, you know...

GD, November 18, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4485351

On a thread by FreeState:

Beastie Boys: A Question For The People That Voted To Pass Proposition 8�.
Via the Beastie Boys Blog

http://www.beastieboys.com/?p=86

A Question For The People That Voted To Pass Proposition 8�.
WHY !?!
Is same sex marriage really that big of a deal to you ?
with unemployment at it�s worst in years..
2 wars going on
the stock market crash
millions of americans can�t afford insurance..healthcare..a place to live�
Global Fkn Warming!!!
WHAT THE F#@K!?!
really..?
it�s 2008 and this is what you�re afraid off�.same sex marriage�!?!
again i have to ask�
WHY!?!

response #2 by IanDB1:

They should record a song called, "You gotta fight, for your right, to MARRY."
I think The Beastie Boys is my favorite Jewish 1980s rap group.

GLBT, November 18, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=221x94232

OP by KitchenWitch:

Happy Birthday Ted Stevens!
Now get the fuck outta town!

response #7 by ColbertWatcher:

I wonder if Hallmark makes a Sorry You Lost/Happy Birthday/Welcome To Prison card? n/t

GD, November 18, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4489488

On a thread by ProSense:

Cabinet post for Clinton roils Obamaland

response #36 by Renegade08:

I'm roiled up!! I want my money back.
I feel duped. Change? Hope? More like change for the worse. Obama is Liarbama. I should've voted for McCain and Palin. Then we could have had real change. And if anyone in the MSM is reading this post and you want to interview a roiled up Obamalander, feel free to email me at IdespiseObamanowbecausehepickedShillaryClintonforSecretaryofState@yahoo.com.

GDP, November 18, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7886783

OP by NeedleCast:

I Thought I Got the Perfect Roommate
A few weeks ago I thought I got the perfect roommate. I talked to a bunch of people about the room for rent. Some of them were a total no-go. Some of them might have been okay, but I often had several problems with them. Then one came along who was perfect. All her references checked out. She made more than enough money to cover the rent. She had nice, well kept furnishings. Checking with places she had rented from in the past, they had nothing but good things to say.

And for the first few days, everything was fine! I was so happy! I had the perfect roommate. Then, one day I came home and I noticed that my laundry detergent wasn't where I left it and that she had clothes in the washing machine. She used my detergent without asking! A few days later, she was gone for the weekend and left her alarm clock set. I had to get out of bed at 8:00 AM on Saturday and turn her alarm off. Last night I was trying to watch TV and she had her music on. I had to ask her to turn it down.

I mean look, compared to my last roommate, she's still awesome. The last guy started several fires, destroyed my TV set, ate all my food, molested my dog and, I think, killed a few people. I'm not sure about that last one, but there were some terrible smells coming from his room and I occasionally found body parts in the fridge.

Still, that's not going to stop me from ceaselessly complaining about my new roommate because based on her interview I expected total perfection and she's fallen short of that mark. I'm just going to overlook the fact that she's a vast improvement over the previous roommate and instead focus on the little imperfections.

GD, November 18, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4488599

On a thread by derby378:

      Recommend this thread if you think the TSA "No-Fly" List should be destroyed

response #10 by KCabotDullesMarxIII:

      No. Keep it as a museum piece for posterity. Having ancestors on it might be
something like being descended from the Mayflower families.

response #29 by DFW:

      The Talkin' TSA Blues
I booked a little trip to the Florida Keys
A week of sun and a light sea breeze
Grabbed the wife and the luggage, we were on our way
But we didn�t reckon with the T S A!

Made the check-in counter in plenty of time,
Proceeded to the security line,
Took off my belt, took off my shoes,
And then I learned to sing the T S A blues.

They said I�m on a no-fly list
I must be a famous terrorist
Osama must be my best pal,
And I was a Qaeda, �cause my name was Al.

They made me spit into a cup,
And that cleared the confusion up,
They couldn�t match my D N A,
So, �good bye sir, and have a nice day!�

We left to go and catch our plane,
Whispered these guys are insane
A uniform stopped us, hands on hips
Said, �We heard that! We read your lips!�

They called me bad, they called me wicked,
Demanded to know if I had liquid.
I said, �just five quarts of blood.�
�That�s over the limit, you�re busted, Bud!�

Now my poor wife began to cry,
She wondered if we�d ever fly.
A grim-faced man came up and said,
�We have to check. Remove your head.�

I yelled that my head was not removable.
They said they�d let it go if that was provable.
My wife said, �This has gone too far,
�Forget the flight, let�s get the car.�

We got our stuff, and drove back home,
Said, �this looks good, no need to roam!�
Home, sweet home, and you know, what�s more,
No one felt us up on the way to the door.

They say their motives have the utmost purity,
And the whole routine is for our security,
But as long as I am free to choose,
Well, someone tell United the news,
That�s the last time I�ll sing the T S A blues!

As sung by such dangerous terrrrrists as Teddy Kennedy and some poor 8 year old boy and many others!

GD, November 18, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4487120

Bit of a stroll to the punchline here:

On a thread by Kristi1696:

      Can we get an official list of which Democrats DU is allowed to criticize?

response #1 by valerief:

      All of 'em. None of 'em. Why not pick on Republicans? This is DU not RU, after all. nt

response #17 by Kristi1696:

      Because Republicans are obsolete and no longer of any real consequence.
Democrats run the show now and we still have a duty to make sure they do it right.

response #16 by valerief:

      Oh, you must be young. They're like cockroaches or herpes. They never die.

GDP, November 18, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7892118

On a thread by ddeclue:

Astronaut loses NASA's $500 hammer and other tools during spacewalk!

response #4 by Gilligan:

Holy shit!
I just found a really nice hammer in my yard!

GDP, November 18, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7891587

Poll question by prodn2000:

GD: P Can Get a Little Crazy Sometimes....
:shrug:

:bluebox: Yes

At press time, "Yes" was winning with 100% of the votes. Sure, uh-huh.

GDP, November 18, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7891179

On a thread by MidwestTransplant:

      Freepers: Obama has a fake birth certificate so Pelosi may become President.
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2134008/posts

"Posted on 11/17/2008 10:20:45 PM PST by Exton1

Could Nancy Pelosi be our next President?

The news seems to indicate that there is a problem with Obama�s birth certificate and some states are talking about holding their electoral votes. If this becomes the case I see several possibilities and am asking for your feedback.

1. The States where Obama won withhold their electoral college votes and McCain wins by default.
2. Because of the ciaos of Obama not being a citizen there is a delay in deciding what to do, on January 20 2009 Nancy Pelosi Speaker of the house and third in line become the President.
3. I don�t think Bidden would step up because has yet not been sworn in and not officially the VP yet. Besides the vote was for Obama for President and not Bidden it would either default to McCain or to Pelosi.
4. If Pelosi were a planer she could arrange to have a crises that took the USA past the swearing in time and by default become the first American Woman President, heaven forbid.

That is my take if Obama fails to prove citizenship.
What do you think?"

response #18 by Hekate:

      ? So unless Nancy uses carpentry tools, Obama will say an Italian farewell? Is this opera?
Wait, my brain hurts.
:rofl:

response #39 by spinbaby:

      Didn't you hear?
It's the new Broadway hit.

response #40 by sfexpat2000:

      A rock opera!

Screwn!

GDP, November 18, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7885934

OP by ocelot:

      Will they rename the Anchorage airport now?
The Ted "Convicted Felon" Stevens International Airport just doesn't sound right.

response #2 by Double_Talk_Express:

      "Sarah Palin International Place Where Planes & Thingies Fly Out Of"

response #3 by tblue:

      The Ted "Convicted Felon ALSO" Stevens International Airport
in honor of Sarah, ALSO.

response #4 by tridim:

      Put it on Ebay.

response #6 by Uben:

      Alaska Correctional Airport
yeah, that sounds juicy!

response #8 by skorpo:

      Felony Field n/t

GD, November 18, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4489612

On a thread by gmoney:

      wanna parade your porn addiction for all to see?
"MTV Networks is casting new episodes of True Life, to include I'm Addicted to Porn, I'm Rehabbing My Injury, I'm Racist, I'm a Conspiracy Theorist, I Hate My Tattoos, I'm Bisexual, I'm Eloping, I'm Placing My Baby for Adoption, I Can't Sleep, I'm Going Bald/Losing My Hair, I'm Uncomfortable in My New Body, I Don't Like My Small Breasts, I'm Having Twins, I'm a Fan Boy, I'm Looking for My Sibling, I'm Stuck at Home, I'm Nuyorican, I'm an Insomniac. Shoot starts TBD..."

response #4 by billyskank:

      I'd rather draw nude women and call it art
but I know I'm preaching to the converted here. ;)

response #14 by skygazer:

      No "I breastfeed at Olive Garden?"
Elitists. :grr:

response #15 by dixiegrrrrl:

      Bristol Palin can qualify for at least 5 catagories.

The Lounge, November 18, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x8250962

OP by grantcart:

Obama should stop appointing people from the Clinton administration
This is not the CHANGE we were expecting

President Elect Obama's transition team should immediately stop appointing talented Democrats who gain valuable experience during the Clinton administration, the only Democratic administration in the last 28 years.

He should skip folks from Carter, Johnson and Truman as well.

He should choose only those with experience from the Roosevelt Administration - that is the kind of change we want.

GDP, November 19, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7895597

On a thread by LiberalFighter:

They showed Stevens on CNN... all by himself walking down a long hallway.

response #1 by xultar:

They oughta frisk his ass and check for candlesticks and shit...the thief.

GDP, November 19, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7896424

OP by Bornaginhooligan:

To all you Lieberman haters- the general election is over, get over it.
Ever since the General Joe Lieberman is 100% committed to supporting President Elect Obama. You Lieberman haters need to put the general election behind you and move on. Geez, it's like freerepublic all up in this house with disease.

GDP, November 19, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7897300

On a thread by DCBob:

Stevens concedes!

response #11 by Tribetime:

God opened up the door "exit stage left" Sarah

GDP, November 19, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7897291

On a thread by jobycom:

What songs are the best test of a singer's skill?

response #1 by DS1:

4:33
If you can get a frontman to shut up for that long, you've got a keeper

The Lounge, November 19, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x8253799

OP by Kablooie:

What's all the hubbub about Obama picking his cabinet?
I thought the First Lady traditionally picked out White House furnishings.

Ba-Boom ... Crash!

response #3 by Dr Fate:

I thought the Secretary of the Interior did that. n/t

GD, November 19, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4491215

On a thread by Blue_In_AK:

Shannyn Moore protests "Keith Olbermann BROKE UP WITH ME!"
"Now, Keith Olbermann has the temerity to ask if it�s too late to sell Alaska back to the Russians. Repeatedly. America�s liberal boy-wonder is breaking up with me. He�s not the only one suggesting putting Alaska up on eBay, but I can only handle one break up at a time. Consider this partner counseling; the circle of truth; the trust tree.

I�m like many Alaskans, just not the one you�ve been forced to get to know lately. I know what newspapers I read. I know Africa is NOT a country. I know Stephen Harper is the Prime Minister of Canada, and I know he has T.V. perfect hair. I know who makes up NAFTA � which I thought was a crock when it passed. My favorite birthday present this year was the return of Habeas Corpus in a 5-4 US Supreme Court decision on June 12th..."

response #1 by panader0:

Once and for all---Is Africa incontinent or not?

GD, November 19, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4492901

On a thread by The Night Owl:

Max Blumenthal: The Dark Side Of �America�s Pastor�
"Here is how evangelical superstar Pastor Rick Warren described his philosophy this August: 'I have never been considered a part of the religious right, because I don�t believe politics is the most effective way to change the world...'

Even the public relations firms responsible for burnishing Warren�s image seem mystified by the press�s worshipful portrayal of their client...

But his tolerant image is belied by what he says on Sunday..."

response #1 by Rabrrrrrr:

Rick Warren is a heretical pile of shit, and not a Christian, and he's dangerous.
The press goes after him because the press, for the last 30-40 years, has been absolutely fucking clueless about what Christianity is, and so have reported on it shittily and ignorantly because they've let Republicans and evangelical shitbags like Warren, Dobson, Falwell, and whatnot (thanks, Reagan, you piece of shit, for that) define for America what Christianity looks like, even though not a single fucking one of those miserable, cancerous, evil shitpots has any relation whatsoever, except through taxonomy, with the historical Church.

They offer a purely bastardized, Americanized, secularized, asshole-ized version of Christianity that bears as much resemblance to Jesus' movement as my ass does to Audrey Hepburn.

GD, November 19, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4494344

On a thread by Mugu:

Stray Pit Bull Saves Woman, Child from Attacker
"The wandering 65-pound Pit Bull mix might have seemed menacing to some passerby, but one woman will always remember him as her 'guardian angel'.

The dog, which authorities think is lost and not a stray, successfully thwarted a robbery attack on a mother and her 2-year-old son, who were held at knifepoint Monday afternoon..."

response #1 by DS1:

Dangerous Pitbull attacks and chases cutlery enthusiast
:hide:

:popcorn:

GD, November 19, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4493894

OP by chimpsrsmarter:

      Are you lazy and if so how lazy, any personal bests?
i thought my personal best was not buying a microwave meal because the instructions read "Stir half way through cooking time, re cover and continue to cook" and no way am i doing that but then i realized today when i was at the supermarket that when i buy fruit i never buy any kind that has to be peeled.

response #2 by bicentennial_baby:

      I bought an orange today, but
it's still in my bag, b/c I was too lazy to peel it... :rofl:

I have pulled muscles trying to reach for things b/c I was too lazy to get up.

response #11 by Breeze54:

      Changed the channel with the remote with my toes.
I had dropped the remote off the couch. :P

response #39 by XemaSab:

      I am the bastard child of lazy and ADD
A few days ago I transplanted some plants out of gallon pots into the ground.

For days these pots have been marring my view of the garden.

Today I resolved to do something about it!

I was going to go get the pots, stack them up, and throw them with the others in the carport.

I walked 15 feet across the lawn, and stacked the 5 pots up.

I looked out in the back yard an hour later, and there they were, stacked up neatly.

Somehow, between stacking them up and putting them in the carport, I got distracted.

Tomorrow I really must do something about them.

response #84 by XemaSab:

      Update: Today my ONE AND ONLY accomplishment
was getting those pots in the carport.

Sadly, I stepped on dogshit on the way back, so my shoes are now outside.

For how long? Nobody knows. :(

response #43 by Orrex:

      I'm so lazy that I'm not even going to finish typi

response #55 by Tilion:

      I'm so lazy I'm still in the process of being born.
It's too much work to get out of there.

response #63 by MrCoffee:

      I'll tell you tomorrow
That's how lazy I am.

response #65 by Bertha Venation:

      I considered having children so I would never have to look for the remote. n/t

response #67 by rcrush:

      I wont go grocery shopping for weeks because I'm too lazy
I went three weeks living on bottled water and crackers.

response #69 by siligut:

      I'm so lazy...
I�m reading this thread on how to be lazy because I am just too lazy to think up my own languorous ways.

response #70 by Deep13:

      I write "nt" instead of "eom" because it saves a keystroke. nt

response #26 by rug:

      It took me 26 hours to reply to this.

Lots of other good responses, but I just can't be bothered copying and pasting 'em.

The Lounge, November 19, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x8254958

OP by Husb2Sparkly:

c l i n t o n
c l i n t o n

Clinton

CLINTON

Hillary

Bill

The Clintons

THE CLINTONS

T H E C L I N T O N S

leak

squeak

nooz

snooz

hillary

wants it

not .......

does ......

:eyes:

GD, November 20, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4498887

On a thread by Hawaii Hiker:

Lizard People?? - What's up w/the comedian(s) in Minnesota??
Did anyone see "Hardball"?.....They had a segment about the recount in Minnesota & they showed some of the ballots in question....

One person CLEARLY colored in the box next to Franken, BUT this same person also decided to either be a comedian or felt strongly about the Lizard People, as he wrote Lizard People atop the ballot and also in the write-in section....So, this ballot may get thrown out... :banghead:

response #1 by scarletwoman:

Give the guy a break. The Lizard People MADE him do that. (nt)

GDP, November 20, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7903504

OP by styersc:

If Obama really loved America he would sign a law that makes
the McRib available on the regular, everyday, menu at McDonalds.

There should be a Secretary of McRib to make sure that the supply is never interrupted. I like the sauce and the pickles and the onions and the mysterious meat and the little mini sub roll.

I bet it would stimulate the economy as well.

What if they gave away McRib coupons with every American made automobile?

Economic problem solved.

GDP, November 20, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7903481

OP by dicksteele:

Just because someone needs to say it: "FLILF"
That is all.

response #3 by krispos42:

You want to fuck Foghorn Leghorn?
:shrug:

The Lounge, November 20, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x8255614

OP by swampg8r:

      Attention.. Attention... Florida Domestic Suppression Force....Orders Inside
All Hail!!

Members of the glorious Florida Domestic Suppression Force!
At last the order has been given

Open the large package sent to your homes last week
Inside you will find the Gay Ray 8 and the Abortitron 9000
Begin by using the GR8 on family members and neighbors
when they have been gayified set up the Abortitron and give all an abortion
When the perimeter of your operations theatre has been secured
contact headquarters for orders to connect Suppression Forces
or use the final score of the citadel-florida game to synch with your codebooks for further instructions!

We must be as the very clams of the sea now in these last moments before the great conflict!

This is the moment of our great victory my brothers and sisters!
Never forget..We are the makers of music and WE are the dreamers of dreams!

response #5 by NYC_SKP:

      Um, question about the Abortitron 9000...
I opened it up and it looks like the directions were printed in Mandarin and I'm pretty sure a couple parts are missing.

I'm tempted to just throw it all away or send it back, but I'm not gonna pay for postage, I swear I'm not.

response #7 by swampg8r:

      turn it on next to a non pregnant woman
if nothing happens its good
if she becomes pregnant you have reversed the polarity
flip the plug over turn it on
she will abort and you will know its working

and do not use the red button

response #9 by NYC_SKP:

      too late. I used the red button.
Ouch ouch ouch ouch make it stop!

response #10 by swampg8r:

      the manufacturer Acme Products
of Yuma Arizona says some units may be defective due to shipping damage
i am sorry you touched the red button
if you can
when it spins by you try to reach out and hit the blue button twice and hold the green switch to the right
avoid the blades and belts
you will have to be pretty fast but that will disable the unit
until a new unit is sent use the GR8 unit to turn all pregnant women into lesbians
this is still acceptable to the High Command

response #13 by NYC_SKP:

      oh damn, I'm color blind AND dyslexic.
I think I just made all the lesbians pregnant....

I hope that's acceptable to the High Command

response #14 by swampg8r:

      you are a hero of the people
we were going to make all the women lesbians and then get them pregnant
you have made great strides comrade

response #6 by boppers:

      The GR8 seems to be having no effect on bisexuals.
Is this a defect, or an expected outcome?

response #8 by swampg8r:

      they havent become more noticably gay?
turn the power settings up

response #11 by boppers:

      I turned it up, and...
..they decided to set up poly-amourous free-love communes.

I'm thinking this is preparation for setting up tightly knit "cells" for the wealth-redistribution squads.

response #15 by Nevernose:

      I'll go the elementary schools for Operation Tinky Winky
And activate our reserve of indoctrinated schoolchildren, insidiously brainwashed to do Stalin's gay bidding. At last, boys shall be girls and girls shall be boys!

And, if they get straight As on their report cards, free rides on the Abortitron! Yay!

response #16 by swampg8r:

      did you receive the shipment of purple purses?

GDP, November 20, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7899179

On a thread by sinkingfeeling:

In Canada: Obese have right to two airline seats, one fare
"Obese people have the right to two seats for the price of one on flights within Canada, the Supreme Court of Canada ruled on Thursday..."

response #3 by greguganus:

If the plane crashes, I want to be sitting in the middle of fat people. n/t

GD, November 20, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4502574

On a thread by Symarip:

      What do you collect?

response #1 by BarenakedLady:

      Broken hearts
I keep them in jars in my basement.

response #6 by JVS:

      dust

response #18 by mwooldri:

      Bills. and more Bills.
That's the only thing I seem to be any good at collecting these days.

response #28 by mcctatas:

      Dipshits wearing pink polos and gamecocks hats...
it's like they are mass produced just to follow me around at bars! :crazy:

response #43 by jobycom:

      Debt.
And I know it will be valuable one day, so I plan to pass it on to my children.

response #64 by DarkTirade:

      Ideas. Useless bits of knowledge.
My brain is a suppository of useless knowledge.

response #76 by antfarm:

      Umm...."suppository"?
I reeeeeally hope you meant "depository." :rofl:

response #82 by DarkTirade:

      No, I meant what I said.
I can pull all sorts of useless knowledge out of my ass. :P

The Lounge, November 20, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x8256029

OP by opihimoimoi:

Where is Obama going to build his Ranch? and what is he going to name it?
Will he have real horses and will ride them? Is he going to chop wood, use chain saws, run back hoes, and hammer those tiny nails?

Will the girls have ponies?

Are the Bidens invited to the Ranch Warming?

What State would the Ranch be in? Hawaii? Molokai perhaps???

Will he invite Leaders from Faraway Lands to the Island Ranch....

What will he raise? Lobsters, Sheep, Cattle, Llamas, Ostriches?

He HAS to have a Ranch...Its TRADITION....LOL

Come, we roast mountain oysters

response #4 by Sebastian Doyle:

Maybe he can lease one of the smaller Hawaiian islands
And call it the "really REALLY western White House"?

GDP, November 21, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7904639

On a thread by BR_Parkway:

      Somali Pirates in Discussions to Acquire Citigroup
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20081121.WBstreetwise20081121112035/WBStory/WBstreetwise

"Argggg, Maties! Here's what shell-shocked financiers are laughing at on Wall Street Friday morning in a phony Bloomberg story:

'Somali Pirates in Discussions to Acquire Citigroup

By Andreas Hippin

November 20 (Bloomberg) -- The Somali pirates, renegade Somalis known for hijacking ships for ransom in the Gulf of Aden, are negotiating a purchase of Citigroup.

The pirates would buy Citigroup with new debt and their existing cash stockpiles, earned most recently from hijacking numerous ships, including most recently a $200 million Saudi Arabian oil tanker. The Somali pirates are offering up to $0.10 per share for Citigroup, pirate spokesman Sugule Ali said earlier today. The negotiations have entered the final stage, Ali said...'"

response #5 by Vinca:

      Too late. It's already owned by pirates. nt

response #7 by Ichingcarpenter:

      NIGERIAN BANK PRESIDENT JANICE ZAMIBQUE CAN DOUBLE SOMALIAN PIRATES DEAL
IF CITIGROUP SEND MONEY TO THIS ADDRESS!
AZOLUA MBOBWE
SENIOR BANK MANGER
BANK OF NIGERIA
LAGOS, NIGERIA

response #10 by myrna minx:

      Perhaps I'll have a better chance negotiating my AP Arrr with the pirates.
Thank you, I'm here all week. :rofl: K&R

GD, November 21, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4510470

On a thread by ElsewheresDaughter:

      They named a school after President Obama....I love it!
"It was only a matter of time. A New York school has been renamed in honor of President-elect Barack Obama.

The former Ludlum Elementary School, in Long Island's Hempstead Union Free School District, was renamed at a school board meeting Thursday - effective immediately.

School officials say most of the 440 students there are black or Hispanic, and Obama's victory is a source of great pride..."

response #7 by mdavies013:

      Did they name the sewer treatment plant after Bush yet??

response #8 by FrenchieCat:

      They are still mulling it over.......
They are conceding the name may not provide the elevation of respect that they'd like for the plant.

GD, November 21, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4511416

On a thread by zlt234:

      How many would actually have voted for McCain over Clinton II (whatever that means)?

response #11 by awoke_in_2003:

      I would have voted for a chimpanzee...
before I voted for McCain. I am, however, glad that I finally got to walk out of the voting booth feeling good about my vote (even though it didn't matter here in redneck central)

response #13 by Bucky:

      Apparently a lot of Republicans felt that same way 8 years ago.

GDP, November 21, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7908972

On a locked thread:

      So what do I win after 100 posts? I have my eye on the Corningware set. N/T

response #12 by greatauntoftriplets:

      Locking.
We gave this member something other than Corning Ware.

greatauntoftriplets
DU moderator

The Lounge, November 14, 2008

On a locked thread:

      Barack Obama could set a great example by letting his hair grow into an Afro

response #9 by krispos42:

      Locking
We decided that I could set a great example by applying enough product to freeze it in place.

:-)

Regards,
Krispos42, DU moderator and Dapper Dan man.

GD, November 19, 2008

This should have appeared a long time ago:

OP by DuStrange:

      DuStrange's Math Problem of the Day.

response #25 by SOteric

The Lounge, October 27, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x8193045

OP by David Ippolito:

      Cheney's home alterations... Biden was not surprised.

responses #12 & #13 by David Ippolito

GDP, November 14, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7868567

On a thread by byronius:

      The Large Insane Wingnut At The Home Depot.

response #5 by KingOfLostSouls

GD, November 15, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4470529

OP by demwing:

      Newsflash - Republicans Fear That Dems Will Be Over-Represented in an Obama Whitehouse

response #1 by ShortnFiery

GDP, November 16, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7877464

OP by David Ippolito:

      Hannity looks like... (Am I alone?)

GD, November 16, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4474009

On a thread by PAVet4Murtha:

      caption time

response #1 by thunder rising

response #3 by polly7

response #8 by Youphemism

response #12 by Elrond Hubbard

response #14 by blondeatlast

GDP, November 16, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7877490

On a thread by Wetzelbill:

      Paul Krugman calls out GOP on their phony account of the financial crisis...

responses #8 & #10 by Swamp Rat

GD, November 16, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4477196

OP by ElsewheresDaughter:

      Caption this. No, seriously.

response #9 by SalmonChantedEvening

response #10 by pepperbear

GD, November 16, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4476295

OP by npincus:

      In the 'Team of Rivals' spirit, suggest an appropriate Cabinet position for Palin

response #1 by Old Crusoe

response #5 by smoogatz

response #6 by hisownpetard

response #7 by Renegade08

response #8 by TexasObserver

response #11 by hnmnf

response #14 by JimGinPA

GDP, November 16, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7877348

On a thread by DeepModem Mom:

      Obama interview sets '60 Minutes' viewership record

response #1 by onehandle

LBN, November 17, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=102x3605585

On a thread by repo:

      Pearl Harbor Day never called twelve seven

response #10 by tomeboy

GD, November 17, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4479894

OP by Jackpine Radical:

      I think I have Republicans in my basement.

GDP, November 19, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=132x7895669

On a thread by cryingshame:

      Why is she smiling at the music system like that? Thank god no one does jello molds anymore.

response #1 by Peake

response #2 by DS1

The Lounge, November 19, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x8253517

On a thread by NOW tense:

      Caption Fun with Bush

response #1 by adsosletter

response #2 by sweettater

response #3 by OKDem08

response #4 by no_hypocrisy

response #5 by NOW tense

response #6 by rurallib

Editorials & Other Articles, November 19, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=103x403200

On a thread by Richard D:

      Live Piracy map

response #1 by El Supremo

GD, November 19, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4495867

OP by Earth_First:

      As Ted Stevens delivers his last Senate speech, my condolences and best wishes:

GD, November 20, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4502952

OP by Bluebear:

      PHOTO: Crazy Sarah Palin with her turkey

response #2 by Neshanic

response #6 by Poll_Blind

response #9 by MilesColtrane

GD, November 20, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x4505676