A wiser, more prescient-thinking nation would have done this four years ago. But, no, no. It wasn't enough that America had been bent over a pommel horse and fucked by the uncircumcised cock of the Bush administration. We had to be raped, raped again, and then beaten down in the street with the threat of having our eyes cut out and our kidneys sold to the Chinese before we finally said, "You know what? Fuck this. We deserve better than to be the jizz repository of Republicans and all the conservative johns."
Yeah, there's gonna be time for "reaching across the aisle," a phrase that ought to be consigned to the medical waste heap along with "trickle down" and "homeland security." There's gonna be plenty of time for us to figure out how to work to bring the rest of the nation into the fold. There's time enough to do all of the reconciliation and reformation and offering of a hand. But today, and maybe tomorrow, and maybe even Friday, let's just fucking gloat.
Because yesterday, the United States of America, east, west, north, and south, motherfuckers, shook its collective ass at and farted in the face of the Bush administration, of John McCain, and of the entire right wing that, since Ronald Reagan, has yanked this nation further and further rightward like it's a leashed dog. We bit the hand that fed us, man, and the blood tastes so very good.
So let's all say a huge "Fuck you" to some of those who have been shitting in our nests for the last eight years:
A great big "fuck you" to the warmongers, the fearmongers, the hatemongers, and the neocons. Last night, we said to them, "You can't scare us anymore." And we shoved their Iraq and their 9/11 whoring and their Iran threat and their WMDs and their pre-emptive doctrines and their Gitmo and their torture right up Dick Cheney's ass and laughed while he tried to get it out 'cause it burns his sphincter so fucking badly.
Let's say, "Suck our dicks" to the religious right. Sure, they can still get people to hate on gays, but now we know: Jesus doesn't fucking care about Christian conservatives. Jesus said, "Lick my holy balls" to the evangelicals last night because, see, Jesus wants us to stop being such motherfuckers to each other and to the rest of the world. It's proof, no? That Jesus wants liberal judges? That Jesus wants abortion to be safe? That Jesus wants Nancy Pelosi to be Speaker of the House? That Jesus wants science to rule the day? Yeah, Jesus fooled you, motherfuckers. You tried to speak for him, but last night he spoke loud and clear.
Let's say, "Go fuck yourselves" to the right wing media, to the Fox "news" people and political analysts and insane columnists and idiotic bloggers who spouted lies and conspiracy theories and who rectally examined every aspect of Barack Obama's life, hoping that something, some association, some vague phrase he said, would make people think he's just another nigger. And you failed, you piss-drinking, talking points vomiting, garbage-fucking whores. Because, at the end of the day, America so rejected what you were peddling that the truly honorable among you should be dangling from your own nooses today, leaping out of your syndicate's or network's office windows, sitting in bathtubs and dropping your plugged-in TV's into the water.
Finally, for today, let's kick John McCain and Sarah Palin while they're down. Because everything they did made Barack Obama and Joe Biden seem that much more honorable and presidential. Because every misstep they made showed just how incredible and beautiful a machine the Obama campaign was. Because every slime McCain painfully threw ended up coating his face and made Obama seem that much brighter. Because every tinny, awkward, wrong word squeaked out of Palin made Biden appear even more the elder statesman. Because the country said to both of them, "You are full of shit, and we know it. Go the fuck away."
Let us dance, motherfuckers, mad, grotesque, ancient dances that lead us into ripping our clothes off, eating the hearts of our enemies, and fucking like the carnal goddamned human beings we are, all around the burning flames of an ideology that told us we were traitors and un-American. No, we can say now, loudly, this is what America is.
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