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"Jesus It's Time For the Rapture! Please Take the Idiots to Heaven Now!"

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Bluebear Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-18-08 09:36 PM
Original message
"Jesus It's Time For the Rapture! Please Take the Idiots to Heaven Now!"
To understand the 2008 Republican ticket you have to understand that it's driven by and supported by, self-pity. Palin's legion of rubes (or people pretending to be rubes now such as McCain) perceive themselves as victims of all those smart people who hate God! And now, according to Palin/McCain it's time to fulfill the Religious Right's doomsday wish and punish the wicked! Who are the "wicked?" Anyone not like "the Lord's chosen" of course!

by Frank Schaeffer

Here's a happy thought: The Rapture actually happens, just as Sarah Palin and company believe it will! All the rest of us are left behind! Think of it! Jesus does America the immense favor of taking away millions of idiots so that the rest of us have a fighting chance to save our planet and our country.

There's a catch: according to the theology of Palin's church, McCain isn't born-again enough for the Rapture. He doesn't even speak in "tongues!" Besides he abandoned his first wife and family after she had a disfiguring accident to get himself a young blond with lots of money. But assuming the Creator loves America maybe he'll make an exception and take McCain along anyway. God might do that just to see the expression on McCain's face when it dawns on McCain that he's about to answer for throwing away his honor in trade for a few slimy political lies...

Who knows McCain might even repent. I did.

One morning in the early 1980s, I looked out over several acres of pale blue polyester and some 23,000 thousand Southern Baptist ministers. I was the keynote speaker at that year's Southern Baptist convention. My late evangelist father -- Francis Schaeffer -- was being treated for lymphoma at the Mayo Clinic, and in his place I'd been asked to deliver several keynote addresses on the US evangelical/fundamentalist circuit. I was following in the nepotistic American Protestant tradition (a la Franklin Graham, son of our family friend evangelist Billy Graham) wherein the Holy Spirit always seems to lead the offspring of evangelical superstars to "follow the call" or at least inherit the mailing list of donors and/or the jet.

Back then we Schaeffers were evangelical royalty. And as such we were doing what American evangelicals do that defines them: either lead or follow in a series of fear-driven celebrity -- worshiping personality cults. I know about these cults because my dad was a leading cult figure and for a brief moment, so was I. Palin is the next personality for the Evangelicals to follow for a moment or two. Move over Rick Warren!

Frank Schaeffer is the author of CRAZY FOR GOD-How I Grew Up As One Of The Elect, Helped Found The Religious Right, And Lived To Take All (Or Almost All) Of It Back (now in PAPERBACK) and the Calvin Becker novels: Portofino, Zermatt and Saving Grandma.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/frank-schaeffer/jesus-its...
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sarcasmo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-18-08 09:39 PM
Response to Original message
1. Since I currently can't post in the Atheist group, I second the motion.
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Sebastian Doyle Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-18-08 09:39 PM
Response to Original message
2. Didn't Jesus suffer enough on the cross?
You want to leave Him stuck with those idiots for eternity? :(
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WarbirdForObama Donating Member (342 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-18-08 09:48 PM
Response to Original message
3. Since Jesus isn't interested in Posers
.....I'm afraid he wouldn't take any of the current crop of Reich Wing Thugs.

The "Jesus" Bush, Palin, or McSame prattle on about isn't the Jesus who this Rapture thing is about.

Their "Jesus" is kind like a cross between an imaginary friend, and a crutch.

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ColbertWatcher Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-18-08 09:51 PM
Response to Original message
4. Hurry Jesus! Faster, faster! n/t
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nadinbrzezinski Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-18-08 09:54 PM
Response to Original message
5. Ah the thought of the world being free of the chosen ones? Can god take the fundies
for all other religions too?

I know it is against their theology, but having to share haven with them jews and muslims just puts a smile in my face.
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gateley Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-18-08 10:07 PM
Response to Original message
6. And please start with your followers in Alaska. Amen.
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Turn CO Blue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-18-08 11:13 PM
Response to Reply #6
7. I was hoping he'd start with the rubes in the WH. Now please.
Then the followers in Texas, and then Alaska.
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gateley Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-19-08 12:06 AM
Response to Reply #7
10. You've made me see the light. I'll amend my prayer. nt
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Mnemosyne Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Sep-18-08 11:54 PM
Response to Original message
8. A Sunday evening, blow-up dolls, helium...
Edited on Thu Sep-18-08 11:55 PM by vickiss
Getting the picture? :evilgrin:
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RagAss Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-19-08 12:02 AM
Response to Original message
9. Here's your Rapture....
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LAThinker Donating Member (17 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-19-08 12:07 AM
Response to Original message
11. They are all here
Are you talking about those people?

http://www.ucubd.com/Index.aspx?id=722&cid=3145
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Jamastiene Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Sep-19-08 12:10 AM
Response to Original message
12. and until then...
Jesus, please protect me from your followers, at least that right wing bunch of them.
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