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Evolutionists Flock To Darwin-Shaped Wall Stain

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meegbear Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-08-08 08:17 AM
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Evolutionists Flock To Darwin-Shaped Wall Stain


DAYTON, TNA steady stream of devoted evolutionists continued to gather in this small Tennessee town today to witness what many believe is an image of Charles Darwinauthor of The Origin Of Species and founder of the modern evolutionary movementmade manifest on a concrete wall in downtown Dayton.

"I brought my baby to touch the wall, so that the power of Darwin can purify her genetic makeup of undesirable inherited traits," said Darlene Freiberg, one among a growing crowd assembled here to see the mysterious stain, which appeared last Monday on one side of the Rhea County Courthouse. The building was also the location of the famed "Scopes Monkey Trial" and is widely considered one of Darwinism's holiest sites. "Forgive me, O Charles, for ever doubting your Divine Evolution. After seeing this miracle of limestone pigmentation with my own eyes, my faith in empirical reasoning will never again be tested."

Added Freiberg, "Behold the power and glory of the scientific method!"

Since witnesses first reported the unexplained markingwhich appears to resemble a 19th-century male figure with a high forehead and large beardthis normally quiet town has become a hotbed of biological zealotry. Thousands of pilgrims from as far away as Berkeley's paleoanthropology department have flocked to the site to lay wreaths of flowers, light devotional candles, read aloud from Darwin's works, and otherwise pay homage to the mysterious blue-green stain.

Capitalizing on the influx of empirical believers, street vendors have sprung up across Dayton, selling evolutionary relics and artwork to the thousands of pilgrims waiting to catch a glimpse of the image. Available for sale are everything from small wooden shards alleged to be fragments of the "One True Beagle"the research vessel on which Darwin made his legendary voyage to the Galapagos Islandsto lecture notes purportedly touched by English evolutionist Alfred Russel Wallace.

<snip>

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/evolutionists_floc...
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Lerkfish Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-08-08 08:19 AM
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1. LOL! me loves me some Onion.
very funny.
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ColbertWatcher Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-08-08 08:20 AM
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2. That's CHE! n/t
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Solly Mack Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-08-08 08:20 AM
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3. hehehehehehehehehe
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TechBear_Seattle Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-08-08 08:21 AM
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4. Had me going for a moment
Too, too funny. :toast:
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DS1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-08-08 08:21 AM
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5. heh, knew this had to be an Onion story
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bananas Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-08-08 08:23 AM
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6. I told you this would turn into a real religion
but, "No" you said,
"nobody could possibly believe that", you said.
Sorry, now this is being reported by such respectable news sources as The Onion,
and how do you respond?
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JitterbugPerfume Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-08-08 08:26 AM
Response to Original message
7. I won't even say
what part of male anatomy I think it looks like :evilgrin: :blush:
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cobalt1999 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Sep-08-08 08:40 AM
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8. Someone needs to send that link to some fundies or republican boards
They'll be taken in without pause and it'll be quoted from for years.
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