" Heard Any Good 'John McCain's Got a Lot of Houses' Jokes?"

[tblue37]

RJ Eskow had a funny list of McCain house jokes on Smirking Chimp yesterday:
http://www.smirkingchimp.com/thread/16614

Boy, does that John McCain have a lot of houses. Lemme tell ya ... If they were all in one place he'd be Cleveland.

What? John McCain doesn't know how many houses he owns? Can't he ask Joe Lieberman?

Know what else? John McCain doesn't know if any of his houses share a border with Pakistan.

Now his campaign is saying Cindy does all the house-buying so he can't be expected to know. What a sexist! He makes his wife do all the shopping!

John McCain's dog is so fat that when it sits around the house, it sits around ... (Oh, wait, he has seven houses so this joke doesn't work. He'd have to have a whole pack of dogs. I'll get back to you on the dog joke.)

Don't blame McCain. He couldn't resist that "buy six mansions, get one free" sale at Countrywide.

Hey, didja hear? John McCain has so many houses they're giving him his own monopoly board!

Seven houses? That's one for every day of the week! What a coincidence! I've got a 'Friday' house, too. That's because Friday's payday ... and it takes my whole check just to keep it.

John McCain's getting an unfair rap for buying all those houses. Come
on, now! He needed SOMEPLACE to put all those swimming pools!

Hey, remember that horrible "joke" about putting Cindy in the topless
beauty contest? I hear he was really in the "dog houses" after that.
(Sorry ... still can't nail the dog joke.)

The McCains have a lovely needlepoint their realtor sent them. It says "Home Sweet Home Sweet Home Sweet Home Sweet Home Sweet Home Sweet Home."

As John McCain likes to say, there are no places like home.

Hey, I know it SOUNDS bad. But they needed someplace to put all those lobbyists!

They don't count the motor home because it's only got four bathrooms and there's nowhere for the gardeners to sleep.

I hear that the McCains are doing a vacation house-swap with the Romneys. Sure, it'll take seven trips, but then they won't be very busy next year anyway.

Knock knock knock knock knock knock knock. Who's there? John McCain's mansions.

If a man's home is his castle, then John McCain's got the whole chess set!

Seven houses? That barely fits the twenty thousand bikers he promised could "crash" at his "pads" if they cheered for him.

Dog joke: John McCain thinks every home should have a dog. So he bought the Iditarod dogsled team.

- and my final boy-does-that-John McCain-have-a-lot-of-houses joke:

Hey, John McCain can't remember how many houses he has! It's not his fault, though. He had the number written down but he left it in his other plane.

[billyoc]

1. ThatsNotFunny HeWasAPOW

[tblue37]

2. Really? I hadn't heard that.

I wonder why he is so reluctant to talk about it.

[Vickers]

3. His modesty is boundless.

[Hubert Flottz]

4. Jon and Cindy can't pass up a good deal...

And what with all the folks all over the country losing their homes lately, houses are a dime a dozen these days. I'll bet all the have mores are buying them up like crazy these days. And you know that Jon and Cindy get the best tips to be had anywhere because look who they've been riding around in the bus with...

http://www.motherjones.com/news/feature/2008/07/foreclo...

No sir...Jon wouldn't change a thing...would you if you were Jon?

[tblue37]

5. This sort of thing needs to show up in ads. n/t

[tblue37]

6. Can I get a fifth so everyone can see these?

I like the idea of turning McCain's wealth and out-of-touch attitude into a punchline, since the MSM and the McCain camp seem to think he must never be criticized, no matter what he does.

If we could get all the comedians telling McCain house jokes, it would do our side a lot of good.

[unapatriciated]

8. .

[guitar man]

7. John's got so many houses

He can never remember which lawn he told those damn kids to get off of!!

[unapatriciated]

9. "Hey you kids, get off my lawns!"

[tblue37]

12. i'm loving it! n/t

[Gold Metal Flake]

10. Knock knock

Knock knock

Who's there?

John McCain's houses

John McCain's houses who?

Five and a half years in Hanoi, pal.



Knock knock

Who's there?

John McCain's constantly shifting policy positions

John McCain's constantly shifting policy positions who?

Five and a half years in Hanoi, pal.



Knock knock

Who's there?

John McCain's infidelity

John McCain's infidelity who?

Five and a half years in Hanoi, pal.



Knock knock

Who's there?

John McCain's corruption

John McCain's corruption who?

Five and a half years in Hanoi, pal.



Knock knock

Who's there?

John McCain's disturbing emotional instability

John McCain's disturbing emotional instability who?

Five and a half years in Hanoi, pal.

[tblue37]

11. Good ones! n/t

[RobertSeattle]

15. change pal to "my friends" :-)

[guitar man]

13. "Knock Knock"

Who's there?

"Sen McCain, I'm the Kirby vaccuum cleaner salesman"

"Good, I'll take seven"

[guitar man]

14. "I can't get Americans to mow my 7 lawns

for $50 an hour!!"

[RobertSeattle]

16. John McCain to kid: Get off my LAWNS

[DearAbby]

17. One moment please....

We interrupt this Message board with a brief reminder - Mccain was once a POW...thank you, please continue.

[auburngrad82]

18. John: "Cindy, have you seen my keys?" Cindy: "They're on the kitchen table, John"

John: "That's not funny, you cunt! Don't you know I was a POW?"

John: "Cindy, darling...What kitchen table?"

[applegrove]

19. Knock Knock Knock

Knock knock knock

Knock knock knock

Knock knock knock

Knock knock knock

Knock knock knock

Knock knock knock


Whose there? LOL!

[calimary]

20. Mods! Admins! You HAVE TO change the rules! I need to recommend this about

a THOUSAND times!

Well, maybe at least SEVEN times. Once per house.

These are GREAT!!!!!!!!!!! I know at least SEVEN people I can send 'em to!