The Sociopathic Supervisor

[inanna]

I'd like to glean some opinions about this which I've never seen discussed on DU before.

(*Mods, this may need to be moved to another forum, I'm not sure.)

I've been doing a lot of research on the subject of sociopathy/psychopathy lately. To be blunt, this comes after months of sheer torment and suffering in my workplace and it is not just myself, but many of my co-workers who are dealing with this situation. It may have even gone so far as to be directly impacting our department manager now.

I believe we are dealing with a man who is sociopath. Obviously I cannot prove this as I'm not a psychologist (and really, I'm still just learning about these matters, which is why I seek feedback so desperately).

I will...openly acknowledge that I detest this man, so feel free to factor that in as you read this.

A bit of background: this individual was hired nearly a year ago as a supervisor in our department. After a few months it became readily apparent that this man was an alcoholic, prone to drinking on the job. Complaints were filed and an investigation by upper management led to exactly zero consequences for this man's behaviour. It was decided instead that those of us who'd filed the complaints were "malicious gossips."

As time wore on, more complaints about this man and some of his behaviour were filed by individuals in other departments as well as customers of the organization were I work. All of them yielded no disciplinary action towards this man. Suffice it to say, we may not just be dealing with a sociopathic supervisor but also a General Manager who appears to be protecting this guy at all costs in order to save her own job (she was the one who hired him).

Realizing he was being targeted for his alcohol abuse on the job only made this individual that much more difficult to deal with. And this is where the situation now stands: three of my long time co-workers have quit their jobs because of this man. I have recently made the decision to cut my own position from full-time to part time, strictly to avoid having to work any shifts with this supervisor. Everybody fears working with this guy.

I want to be clear about something here. Initially, I assumed many of this man's character flaws stemmed from his obvious alcoholism, and still believe that might explain some of his behavior. But not all of it. In my research I have found several websites that detail the characteristics of the sociopathic personality. They are as follows:

*Glibness and Superficial Charm

*Manipulative and Conning: They never recognize the rights of others and see their self-serving behaviors as permissible. They appear to be charming, yet are covertly hostile and domineering, seeing their victim as merely an instrument to be used. They may dominate and humiliate their victims.

*Grandiose Sense of Self : feels entitled to certain things as "their right."

*Pathological Lying: Has no problem lying coolly and easily and it is almost impossible for them to be truthful on a consistent basis. Can create, and get caught up in, a complex belief about their own powers and abilities. Extremely convincing and even able to pass lie detector tests.

*Lack of Remorse, Shame or Guilt: A deep seated rage, which is split off and repressed, is at their core. Does not see others around them as people, but only as targets and opportunities. Instead of friends, they have victims and accomplices who end up as victims. The end always justifies the means and they let nothing stand in their way.

*Shallow Emotions: When they show what seems to be warmth, joy, love and compassion it is more feigned than experienced and serves an ulterior motive. Outraged by insignificant matters, yet remaining unmoved and cold by what would upset a normal person. Since they are not genuine, neither are their promises.

*Incapacity for Love

*Need for Stimulation: Living on the edge. Verbal outbursts and physical punishments are normal. Promiscuity and gambling are common.

*Callousness/Lack of Empathy : Unable to empathize with the pain of their victims, having only contempt for others' feelings of distress and readily taking advantage of them.

*Poor Behavioral Controls/Impulsive Nature: Rage and abuse, alternating with small expressions of love and approval produce an addictive cycle for abuser and abused, as well as creating hopelessness in the victim. Believe they are all-powerful, all-knowing, entitled to every wish, no sense of personal boundaries, no concern for their impact on others.

*Early Behavior Problems/Juvenile Delinquency: Usually has a history of behavioral and academic difficulties, yet "gets by" by conning others. Problems in making and keeping friends; aberrant behaviors such as cruelty to people or animals, stealing, etc.

*Irresponsibility/Unreliability: Not concerned about wrecking others' lives and dreams. Oblivious or indifferent to the devastation they cause. Does not accept blame themselves, but blames others, even for acts they obviously committed.

*Promiscuous Sexual Behavior/Infidelity: Promiscuity, child sexual abuse, rape and sexual acting out of all sorts.

There is no way for me to gauge whether or not my supervisor possesses all of these traits. He does however, possess many of them. Further, this man displays a real "authoritarian" complex and has, from his earliest days on the job, employed a "divide and conquer" strategy in order to ostensibly drive a wedge between my fellow co-workers and myself.

He developed an odd fascination with me personally right from the beginning. He attempted to isolate me from my co-workers in a way that was obvious to everybody, and got visibly upset if I decided to take breaks with them instead of him. He gave me a raise and then announced he'd done this a staff meeting (more of that 'divide and conquer' stuff) and he was constantly promising me the sun, the moon and the stars.

Though he treated me like gold, I simply did not like him, sensing a very bad "vibe" about him right off the bat. However, it was his treatment of my co-workers that led me to despise him.

The last complaint we filed against this man dealt with a situation where he'd become physically violent one evening in our facility, smashing a bunch of fluorescent light bulbs in our back room and even going so far as to lock two of us out of the building while we were on a break. This led to some swift action by my department manager (who we called in at 4:30 in the morning): the supervisor was immediately sent home, and after a huge meeting with upper management, it was decided that the guy would be "temporarily" reassigned to a different shift.

However, after a period of four months he is now back on his regular shift, the final investigation by HR stating their findings were about the incident were "inconclusive" and that our complaint was "unsubstantianted."

We have been victimized by this man and his alcohol abuse.
We have been victimized by this man and his verbal abuse.
We have been terrorized by this man due to his violent tendencies.
And we have been further violated by upper management who in this case, refuses to enforce company policies and procedures whenever this supervisor is involved.

This has only served to make the man feel as though he is invincible and can get away with bloody murder.

The fact that I'm even researching sociopathy ought to be a pretty clear sign that something is very wrong with this situation. And I had no idea that there was so much information about these types of people. There are even several books devoted to this topic.

I just don't know what to do. We are considering going to the labour board with this stuff. But the inherent problem with this is that we mainly work on the midnight shift where there are no witnesses to this guys behavior. Since several of my co-workers and I have already been labelled by upper management as "malicious gossips" it makes it that much harder for us to resolve this matter.

Basically, it's us versus them.

Am I just paranoid, or am I possibly dealing with a sociopathic supervisor -- who is also an alcoholic? Has anybody else ever dealt with a situation like this?

I'm not asking for legal advice here. Basically I'm just fishing around to see if anybody else has experienced this before: in the workplace or elsewhere?

One final note: my department manager despises this guy just as much as we do. But bound by professionalism, he cannot come out and openly tell us that. In one rare moment of candor, he did indicate to me that our supervisor "might be the type to sue" if he was fired. So that may serve as some kind of explanation as to why upper management is not acting on this matter as they should. I think they've been threatened by this guy.

[MrModerate]

1. Your problem is much larger than one individual . . .

If half of what you've said is true, then your organization is dysfunctional. You referred to "complaints filed." Any organization having an employee who accumulates multiple formal complaints -- whether investigation fully validates the complaints or not -- and can't resolve the issue so other employees don't have to bear the weight of one person's misbehavior, has a broken HR process and should not be trusted with your career or even day-to-day wellbeing.

Who knows why they're still protecting this guy rather than building up the formal records often necessary to terminate someone. Your employer is a codependent enabler of a disruptive misanthrope and doesn't seem to care about the cost of keeping such a person around.

Get another employer.

[inanna]

4. Oh...

>>Get another employer.<<

Believe me, I'm trying. Not always easy to do though ;-)

Thanks for your reply.

[conscious evolution]

2. Buy a tape recorder

and a log book.Document everything he does.
And consult with a lawyer.

There is no reason you guys have to put of with this behavior.

[inanna]

6. Funny you should say this...

>>Consult with a lawyer.<<

I'm currently going through a divorce. My divorce attorney is shocked by what I have told her about my work situation. She wants to refer me to a labour law attorney she knows.

I'm considering it but I must admit I'm a bit intimidated.

[conscious evolution]

14. He is counting on

you being intimidated.
Don't give in.

edit to add: 'he did indicate to me that our supervisor "might be the type to sue" if he was fired.'
He may be using his alcoholism and the Americans with Disabilitys Act as a shield.Fortunately,active and continueing alcoholism is not protected
If that is the case forward this to HR.It comes from the Americans with Disabilities Act.


http://www.ada.gov/pubs/ada.htm#Anchor-Sec-23240

Sec. 12114. Illegal use of drugs and alcohol

(a) Qualified individual with a disability

For purposes of this subchapter, the term "qualified individual with a disability" shall not include any employee or applicant who is currently engaging in the illegal use of drugs, when the covered entity acts on the basis of such use.

(b) Rules of construction

Nothing in subsection (a) of this section shall be construed to exclude as a qualified individual with a disability an individual who

(1) has successfully completed a supervised drug rehabilitation program and is no longer engaging in the illegal use of drugs, or has otherwise been rehabilitated successfully and is no longer engaging in such use;

(2) is participating in a supervised rehabilitation program and is no longer engaging in such use; or

(3) is erroneously regarded as engaging in such use, but is not engaging in such use;

except that it shall not be a violation of this chapter for a covered entity to adopt or administer reasonable policies or procedures, including but not limited to drug testing, designed to ensure that an individual described in paragraph (1) or (2) is no longer engaging in the illegal use of drugs.

(c) Authority of covered entity

A covered entity

(1) may prohibit the illegal use of drugs and the use of alcohol at the workplace by all employees;

(2) may require that employees shall not be under the influence of alcohol or be engaging in the illegal use of drugs at the workplace;

(3) may require that employees behave in conformance with the requirements established under the Drug-Free Workplace Act of 1988 (41 U.S.C. 701 et seq.);

(4) may hold an employee who engages in the illegal use of drugs or who is an alcoholic to the same qualification standards for employment or job performance and behavior that such entity holds other employees, even if any unsatisfactory performance or behavior is related to the drug use or alcoholism of such employee; and

(5) may, with respect to Federal regulations regarding alcohol and the illegal use of drugs, require that

(A) employees comply with the standards established in such regulations of the Department of Defense, if the employees of the covered entity are employed in an industry subject to such regulations, including complying with regulations (if any) that apply to employment in sensitive positions in such an industry, in the case of employees of the covered entity who are employed in such positions (as defined in the regulations of the Department of Defense);

(B) employees comply with the standards established in such regulations of the Nuclear Regulatory Commission, if the employees of the covered entity are employed in an industry subject to such regulations, including complying with regulations (if any) that apply to employment in sensitive positions in such an industry, in the case of employees of the covered entity who are employed in such positions (as defined in the regulations of the Nuclear Regulatory Commission); and

(C) employees comply with the standards established in such regulations of the Department of Transportation, if the employees of the covered entity are employed in a transportation industry subject to such regulations, including complying with such regulations (if any) that apply to employment in sensitive positions in such an industry, in the case of employees of the covered entity who are employed in such positions (as defined in the regulations of the Department of Transportation).

[inanna]

20. Thanks for the info!

I'm in Canada though, and I'm not sure if the laws are the same regarding this.

I'm definitely going to look this up though...just for my own benefit.

[Loudmxr]

3. Or you can do a variant of the Sam Kinison treatment.

Go to the local big box store and buy him gifts of ALCOHOL. Yes big huge bottles of it. So that he won't have the strength to come in in morning, or afternoon, or whenever he wakes up.

He'll go away eventually. :evilgrin:

[NMDemDist2]

5. I feel your pain, my last job had one

she wasn't a 'supervisor' although I hear she is one now....

lies, lies and more lies, horrible working conditions. No, you're not crazy, the assholes just make you think you are.

:hug:

[Mopar151]

35. Too true

I've seen too many of these critters - both as supervisors and subordinates. You are SO right about making you crazy - it's a major part of their operating strategy!
From the "psycho's" point of view, sane, well adjusted people are fools - "suckers", "Bleeding hearts", "weak sisters" - to be played as pawns.

[sendero]

7. You really have to get..

... out of there. It is a battle you cannot win, or if you can it won't be worth the cost.

I know that is glib advice, and that finding a new job is not easy, but it's really your best option.

I've dealt with similar experiences and my take is this: this guy is not being protected because a particular person hired him, he is being protected because he has HIS SUPERIORS FOOLED COMPLETELY.

And my experiences with this are that they may eventually figure it out, or they may not. You'll not be able to have much impact - if they do figure it out it will be because they catch him at something, nothing you say is going to be really considered.

Sucks, I know.

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

8. Film his behavior

Have a small video recorder or a phone that will record what he does--and make sure all your coworkers have one, too. Document what is done.

Can you go over the head of the manager protecting him and talk to the CEO? If customers are complaining and nothing is being done, I'd think that person would like to know. Customer complaints are a sure way to get someone fired--and they can't sue and win if the complaints are documented.

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

9. Are you in any kind of service industry?

I get the feeling you don't deal with many "outsiders", but I'm thinking you'd get further if you document instances where he's mistreated a client, customer or vendor.

[inanna]

11. I work in the maintenance department

at this facility on the night shift.

For most of our shift we are isolated with this guy. Once the facility opens in the morning, we are exposed to the public for a short period of time until the end of our shift.

And even during this brief period of exposure to the public, this guy has managed to cause problems for a few of our customers.

One customer saw him freaking out on one of the receptionists because she'd opened the facility two minutes earlier than he wanted her to.

This led to one complaint against the guy, filed by the customer himself.

There have been several other complaints.

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

23. Well, that sucks

I work for a company contracted in a large corporation's facility. A number of my co-workers goof off and screw up and even mistreat their own co-workers, but if any of them directly gave the employees of the facility a hard time whatsoever, they'd be gone by lunchtime.

[inanna]

37. Heh.

We have contractors in and out of our facility all the time.

They cannot stand this guy either and one even complained about him directly to our department manager.

The list of complaints over this supervisor are endless. I'm sure there are some we do not even know about.

[fasttense]

10. If he truly is a Sociopath, there is really nothing you can do.

You just need to get as far away from him as you can. Real sociopaths are very devious. They know how to play people and they enjoy it. They have absolutely no compunction about hurting others either physically, emotionally or financially. Sociopaths work hard at being manipulative and have years of experience in it. They know all the tricks and get away with what they do because most people have a conscious holding them back.

I once had a supervisor very similar to what you describe. She eventually was fired but we all went through hell and back before the top bosses saw what she was doing. But, she was not a Sociopath.

I don't think he is a sociopath because you describe rages of anger that seem to get out of control. Sociopaths don't "usually" display this amount of anger and rage. I say usually because they are good at faking any emotion but unless the display has a purpose, the anger is not evident.

Sound more like an out of control drunk to me. I would document all his behavior and keep filing complaints. Time is on your side. A true out of control alcoholic will continue to screw up and create problems. Eventually the problem will get to big for your HRO department to sweep under the table. Good luck.

[aikoaiko]

12. Honestly, you haven't described any sociopathic behavior on his part.

He doesn't sound like a very good manager, but that's life.

What does he do, specifically that you think is sociopathic?

[inanna]

16. No remorse

In general, he seems to have no remorse for the kind of suffering he is inflicting on my co-workers and I as a result of his disease.

This (one of the primary sociopathic traits I listed in my OP) was what really struck me about him.

This appears to be a game of "catch me if you can" to him. But to us this is no game.

It's very nerve-wracking to be forced to endure this kind of behaviour for the duration of an eight hour shift -- never knowing when he might be prone to acting out violently or lashing out at us verbally. We find ourselves constantly walking on eggshells.

I cannot list all of the various entanglements I've had personally with this individual. Too many. But I have listed one specific episode of rage that was frightening to say the least. There were more.

At a minimum he is a highly self-destructive alcoholic. At worst, I fear he may be exhibiting some traits of a sociopath.

But you're right, he may not be. And I hope to hell he isn't, actually.

It could just be the alcoholism.

[Occulus]

13. Okay, this is an obvious and clear example of a hostile work environment.

What you need to do is start documenting everything he does. Everything. Keep a little notebook in your pocket. Never, ever let him see it. Write down what he's done each day, using time of day and description of the incident. Write these things down off-site if possible. Do it in the bathroom if it's not.

Most importantly, get your co-workers to do the same. Document, document, document. If you have some device, like a cell phone, that can record audio from your pocket, USE it. Don't give any indication of this. The more people you have doing these sorts of things, the better you make your case.

I use that word very precisely. Hostile work environments, when proven, represent a viable civil claim (IANAL, but I've also seen this before). You may also want to contact an AFL-CIO local in your area (even one far away but still in your state will do), even if your own facility doesn't have a union, to get information on how to proceed, and how to prove it.

Note that you don't have to file suit! When a number of employees come forward with enough information, and that information all agrees amongst you, your managers will have to fire this individual, or be open to class litigation (again, IANAL, but this has all been done before). If they then fire all of you who are complaining, get a lawyer and they'll probably settle for firing him and reinstating you.

In any event, document the behavior. Use a date/time/incident format, and let the bastard dig his own grave.

Good luck.

[DailyGrind51]

15. Alcoholics can be like that too! Even when they are not drinking,

they can have "dry drunk syndrome", where their thinking remains distorted while "sober". GWB is a classic example.

[inanna]

17. And on that note...

I have also been researching alcoholic dementia as well.

I'm just desperate to figure out what to do in this situation.

I agree with what you wrote. It could just be the alcohol.

[DailyGrind51]

19. A former girlfriend's ex-husband was the CEO of a medical center

and a very angry and manipulative alcoholic who had a lot of scared subordinates enabling his bad behavior and covering his mistakes. He was a golfing buddy with the chief of police in the town, so my girlfriend's reports of spousal abuse went nowhere. I met her after she fled with her kids to live with her mom in Chicago.

Average "working-stiff" alcoholics are pathetic and sad, alcoholics in positions of power can be dangerous! But, you know that!

There are three courses of action:

Change the situation. That being impossible, you;
Change the way you deal with the situation. That being hazardous to your mental, emotional, or physical well-being, you;
Remove yourself from the situation, the action taken by my friend.

[ismnotwasm]

18. "Violent tendencies"?

I'd call the cops--I know, he's probably just clever enough to be able to blow it off, but violent gets dealt with a 911 from me.

Might have Borderline personality disorder. Sociopath, maybe, but he sounds more like a Borderline.
(Wiki has a good article)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Borderline_personality_disorder

I have experience with both disorders, but not in the work place, or I should say, not with co-workers or supervisors. I wish you well, It sounds like you need a different job maybe? What a mess, and what a terrible thing to go though.

[librechik]

21. sociopathy in management is so universal in this country, it's practically a definition

not much you can do except keep a written record of your experiences.

You are not paranoid. They really are out to get you.

We go more and more down the toilet as a country every day.

[leftyladyfrommo]

31. Boy, that has been my experience, too. Management wants

people like this. A lot of sociopaths do really well in the business world because they have no conscience and they are huge risk takers.

I've worked for several people that were most likely sociopaths and it is absolutely miserable.

Your best bet is to just find a way out. Management knows what this person is like and they must want him there or he would have been gone a long time ago.

[inanna]

36. We've sensed for a while now...

that upper management would like to drive a few of us out. More as a cost-cutting measure: they could find new hirees and pay them much less than what we currently make.

And this was my initial reaction also when they began to refer to our complaints as "malicious gossip."

I said to several of my co-workers then, "They're going to try to shit-can us over this. Just watch."

However, I also believe that this guy is beginning to cause them more problems than they had originally anticipated.

[SharonAnn]

52. a book "The Addictive Organization" describes this type of thing.

It's an organization that enables this type of behavior.

I've worked in two of them and now I simply leave the minute I see a pattern of anything like that. The first time it almost destroyed me. The second time it hurt me because I spent all my energy on trying to "manage" or "solve" it. It can't be managed or solve.

It seems to be a culture of addictive behavior, enabling, and co-dependence.

The answer is "Get out!"

[tannybogus]

22. Make a record of everything!

I realize this would be considered just your word. However, I dealt with a weird boss one time,
and I made a record of everything. Dates and details. It is easier to back up your point when you have details.
Generic accusations don't go very far.That boss made my life difficult by messing with my time and hiring,
and I was able to sick the EEOC on him. I still quit because he wasn't going anywhere.

Short of him "screwing the pooch" either literally or figuratively, I don't think you will be able to really
do anything. Even if he doesn't have some hold on his superiors, a lot of times they are lazy and don't
want to bother or they are loathe to point out a big mistake.

The real way to get rid of him is to make sure profits drop like a rock. I don't know what kind of business
you are in, and this a double-edged sword. However, the one thing that sometimes lights a fire under the upper
hoohas is watching the money dwindle. Of course, sometimes they get rid of the underlings.

Good luck! :hide:

[NashVegas]

24. Forget About Psycho-Analyzing His Behavior And Concentrate On Your Own

The company you work for isn't going to do anything about him until it affects their bottom line. And even then, they might not if they're so incompetent.

You and your co-workers could walk out, en masse, and upper management might finally do something about him - but none of you will be the beneficiaries if you quit.

If you all want to stay with the company, you can try a sick-out. Just be prepared for the risk that everyone gets fired.

[DailyGrind51]

26. Circulating one's resume might be in order right about now!

Getting out while the getting is good is sometimes the only recourse. It is much better to voluntarily exit a job, than to get fired, even if the termination was unjustified. In an "employment at will" environment, the employer invariably defines the reality of the situation.

[inanna]

27. I've very recently cut back...

to part time employment.

Though I'd *prefer* to be there full-time, this move allows me to work on the nights he isn't there.

That being said, I can afford to take risks that most of my co-workers cannot. At least for the time being.

We live in a city with a depressed economy, so this couldn't have happened at a worse time, really.

Working only part time has given me more time to look for a different job, but it really won't be easy. Not here.

And I'm just devastated for my co-workers because of what they're being forced to endure. They're getting desperate.

[NashVegas]

28. Then You Did The Right Thing

Sucks to have someone like that on staff.

[DailyGrind51]

40. Does this bastard have a wife and kids?

[inanna]

48. Yes.

Wife and two kids, both college aged.

He is quite a bit older than I am.

[DailyGrind51]

49. I really feel sorry for his wife!

My former girlfriend's husband put her head through a wall before she left him!

[bean fidhleir]

25. Behavior change during drinking is a diagnostic factor for alcoholism

Any individual who becomes "a different person" - whether worse, better, or just different - while drinking is very likely to be an alcoholic rather than an alcohol addict.

Alcohol to an alcoholic can be "psychopathy in a bottle": while drinking, such individuals to all intents and purposes *are* psychopaths.

You CANNOT deal with such people and it's not safe to try. Stay away. Tell any of your colleagues whom you care about to stay away from him. Ultimately, he'll do something that cannot be swept under the rug, and your best hope is to be far away from the fallout.

[Fumesucker]

38. I've never heard of a "alcohol addict" being something different

From an "alcoholic".

Could you expound on your point a bit more?

And in my experience just about everyone becomes a "different person" when they drink, it's one of the prime reasons people consume alcohol, to release their inhibitions and become more outgoing, less shy.

[bean fidhleir]

53. An alcohol addict is someone who gets through a lot of alcohol, but

doesn't undergo personality changes. Drunk or sober, their personality is the same if you discount the effects of the alcohol. If they're pleasant and polite when not drinking, they're pleasant and polite when halfway to unconsciousness, just more blurred. If they're nasty when sober, they're nasty when drinking. When they get drunk enough, they quietly go to sleep.

That's how most social (non-obligative) drinkers are, too. Inhibitions loosen - a normally friendly person becomes more friendly, a normally reserved person loses some of their reserve, but there's no "Jekyl & Hyde" quality about what happens.

An alcoholic, on the other hand, does undergo personality changes. Very often, but not always, the change is for the worse. The pleasant and polite individual turns into a foul-mouthed fiend, the careful, sensible person starts throwing money around like the proverbial drunken sailor, etc. Or the person who never has a good word for anyone is suddenly warm and friendly.

Outsiders often think they're finally seeing "the real" Alice or Bob or whoever, but they're judging by the reaction of non-alcoholics - they assume the sober behavior is a kind of disguise or "front". But it isn't, any more than the everyday behavior of someone with a severe allergy to insect venom is a front to cover up the self that only appears when they've been stung.

[Fumesucker]

54. I'm considered by most IRL to be a friendly but reserved person

The reason for this is that I heavily censor my quite bitingly sarcastic interior monologue, very little of what I think do I actually speak.

Alcohol (as well as other CNS depressants) loosens my tongue and makes it appear that I have changed personality to a very sarcastic and rather nasty person, the truth is though that I haven't changed personality, just my inhibitions have diminished and my self-censorship has slipped.

Luckily for those around me I don't like alcohol or other depressants.

As Robin Williams says: The third purpose of alcohol is to bring out the hidden asshole in everyone.

[bean fidhleir]

56. It sounds like you're in one of the grey areas - you perceive yourself as maintaining

a front in everyday life, yet you don't apparently welcome the opportunity to "be yourself". I'd think that would be hard on you.

[backscatter712]

29. Kill him, harvest his organs and sell them on Craigslist.

:sarcasm: for the sarcasm-impaired...

Some people (or should I say "people") are just impossible to work with.

[DailyGrind51]

44. Would YOU want the organs of an alcoholic?

Can you imagine his liver?:puke:

[backscatter712]

46. Who'd want a transplanted rock?

Yeah, probably not the healthiest organs...

[DailyGrind51]

47. Now, I'd take his piano, if he has one!

;-)

[backscatter712]

30. Real advice: Document, document, document.

Every time this douche nozzle does something abusive, nasty or unprofessional, or violates company policy, write it down in a notebook. Make sure you get the description of the incident, the names of everyone involved, date and time, and initial it - that should make it admissible as evidence in court. If you have the means to record or videotape or photograph this person committing these acts, without violating policies or laws or ethics, do it.

What you want to do is patiently gather as much evidence as possible of this guy's misconduct. Then, lawyer up, have the lawyer speak to HR with you and confront them with the evidence. With evidence and a potential lawsuit, they'll dump this assclown faster than you can say "litigation."

Alternatively, people like this can make a job completely unbearable. I mean physically ill. If that's the case with you, get out of there. No job is worth your health, so get those resumes out there and find a workplace with an asshole-free environment.

[inanna]

32. Wow....

What a fantastic suggestion. Thank you.

I admit I never considered the option of bringing a lawyer with me to these HR meetings.

I will remember this in the future and I will pass this information on to my co-workers.

Thank you!

[Dora]

41. I agree - document everything.

I work in an environment where one of our dept managers lacks some pretty essential managerial skills. I frequently hear complaints from her staff, and I tell them to document each event and when enough evidence has been compiled, to deal with the problem directly.

They don't document ("Did you write this down?" I ask. "Well, noooooo, but..." is the inevitable reply), but they keep complaining. I can do nothing to help them. I do not work in their department and so I am unaffected by their supervisor, and I have no managerial clout.

Document, document, document. Then deal.

[inanna]

33. P.S.....

It seems as though you've experienced something similar.

[backscatter712]

34. I've seen a few incidents.

Gathering evidence and lawyering up is probably the best chance you've got at keeping this job, but still, you've got to ask yourself "Is it worth it?" Is it worth spending eight hours a day, 40 hours a week, every week with this guy? I've been in jobs that have literally made me sick, and for me, in retrospect, the answer is no. Definitely consider finding a new job somewhere else, probably for better pay, in a much more pleasant workplace.

Oh, for the love of FSM, DO NOT let the douchebag see the notebook full of documentation. Keep it at home, not the workplace whenever possible, under lock and key. If he finds it, he'll probably invent a reason to fire you.

[TrogL]

39. I did some research for you and found this

Your best bet looks like the Ontario Human Rights Commission http://www.ohrc.on.ca/en .

You are a victim of workplace bullying.

Here are some specific resources:

http://workplacebullying.org/links.html
http://www.nobullyforme.ca/

You might want to give this person a call:

A fabulous lawyer is Rob Waddell. Phone [phone] (Toronto, Ontario) and email is [email protected]. Highly ethical man who will tell you directly what your chances are and strategies to take. He's also really aware of the collusion between employers and unions. I highly recommend him. So much so that my husband, who is union representative, suggests people call Rob Waddell before they report incidents to the union.

[inanna]

51. Thanks for the links

I bookmarked all of them.

[lonestarnot]

42. Are you in Canada?

Do they have equal employment opportunity commission there? Creation of a hostile work environment affecting safety and health is a bad thing from everything that I have read. LOL

[old mark]

43. There are a lot of elements of sociopathic behavior

in alcoholics, and you seem to have covered them pretty well.
I worked in similar situations and the best advice I can give you is to get prepared to find another job.
Save some money, get a resume polished, and start looking now.
This guy, his supervisor, etc will only get worse, and ANY reporting you do above their heads will come back and be used against you.

I used to be a union steward,and believe me, this is a no-win situation for those on tht bottom of the pile.

Bail out while you can still get a decent recommendation, dot all the i's and cross all the t's.

I don't know why people expect fairness in the workplace.
You won't find it.
I must repeat - DO NOT report anything to any higher-ups from this point on - the blame will be shiftedd to those who reported the problem and you will suffer consequenses for someone elses bad behavior.

Get out soonest!!!

mark

[DailyGrind51]

55. Good advice! There is nothing as frightening as a mean drunk in a position of power!

The only thing you can hope for is that it affects his health so that he has to step down, but don't hold your breath.

[sofa king]

45. He's got something on his supervisors.

That's gotta be how he's keeping his job. You'll never get rid of him if you can't get past him.

The way to get past him is documentation. Most cell phones have cameras on them. You can film him covertly, and record him directly by simply having the phone recording while it's in a shirt pocket. The best way to do it, however, is simply to draw him into his usual behavior in an email exchange. Save the emails somewhere he can't possibly get to them--a friend's computer, for example--and once you have the goods, don't bother sending them to his boss.

Instead, pick one sacrificial lamb who is willing to go down for it, and have that person send the information you collect to the board of directors of the company. The significance of bypassing the immediate bosses will not be lost on the highest-ups: he's gunning for the top, and it's the people up there who need to take him out before he gets there.

They will, because there's a good chance that they're all sociopaths, too.

[DailyGrind51]

50. That is exactly how they recruit enablers!

They find where the proverbial bodies are buried and use the information to blackmail people into covering for them.