To the Captain I Saw at Cracker Barrel

[unhappycamper]

http://www.veteransforpeace.org/To_the_captain_I_saw_at...


To the Captain I Saw at Cracker Barrel
by Richard R. DiPirro, VFP member

Welcome home. Welcome back, sir, and welcome home. Welcome back to the world you once knew, which looks entirely different to you now, which resembles the world you lived in before but seems drawn like a cartoon now and scored with music you’ve never heard. Welcome back to a civilization you couldn’t wait to get back to, but isn’t what you remember at all. There are people smiling and shaking your hand and slapping your back – actors in a bad play about the life of someone who looks a lot like you. There are signs and banners and parades and picnics and they whirl around you. You are an observer at the center of everyone’s attention. “Support the Troops!” They yell until they’re hoarse – waving flags and driving cars with yellow magnets, never trying to explain why they weren’t with you there, suffering 130 degree heat, shaking scorpions from their boots and feeling the weight of sand settle in their lungs. Welcome home, sir.

I saw you at Cracker Barrel the other morning, sir. I sat and ate my Old Timer’s Breakfast and laughed with my wife and forgot about my brothers and sisters living every moment of thirteen months in their own hot hell. I would have missed you if I hadn’t looked up when I did from my hash browns and turkey sausage, would have missed that moment I’ll never forget. I saw your boots first, sir and the brown and tan of your desert camouflage and then your face – a face I knew like my mothers, like my own. You scanned everyone as you walked through the restaurant toward your table, scanned their faces, evaluated their threat potential and moved on to the next. Your eyes held mine for only an instant, one of the longest moments of my life, and moved on to the kids at the table behind mine, content that I posed you and your troops not present no danger that morning. You sat alone then, talking on a cell phone to a buddy, or a woman who wouldn’t know you any more, and I struggled to maintain the peace and happiness I had with my wife only minutes before. That feeling was gone, though – those minutes had passed and I felt like I would never eat again. Welcome home, sir.

I felt that thing inside – that thing I can’t put words to – which spins and tugs and turns and kicks me when it feels the need to. My wife watched helplessly, trying as always to understand that thing she knows she never will. I stood and approached your waitress and paid for your meal and she and the others smiled and waved their flags and told me how sweet I was, but I wasn’t feeling sweet. I wasn’t feeling sweet at all. I stood and began to tremble and needed to approach you and I stepped into your line of sight and interrupted your phone call and held out my hand. I asked you, but I knew you had just returned, and I told you I had been there eighteen years before as a marine corporal and I looked past the false smile you held and into those eyes that had sent me back. Those eyes that were seeing me now but still held the sight of whatever had happened, whatever you had done over there. Those eyes which would never see things in fluorescent lighting, but forever washed out by a bright foreign, guilty sun. You thanked me, and I want to believe that just for an instant, you knew I knew who you were. Welcome home.

I felt like running out of there, but I walked to the counter and paid my bill, and held my wife’s hand as we left your presence. In the car she stroked my head silently as I burst into tears. God sir, I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I couldn’t do more to keep them from sending you over there. I’m sorry for what the rest of your life will be like – for the burn scar you will carry forever on your soul. I’m sorry for the anger and frustration you will feel when you think that no one understands, that no one could possibly know what you had to do there. I’m sorry you don’t know what has been done to you. And I’m sorry for the tears you too will shed one day when you do understand. Welcome home, sir.

This article was originally published in the July 2008 VFP Newsletter.


http://www.veteransforpeace.org/To_the_captain_I_saw_at...

[ColbertWatcher]

1. I don't think I thank you enough unhappycamper for your posts.

Thank you.

(EDITED TO CORRECT who doesn't thank unhappycamper enough)

[babylonsister]

2. Welcome home, sir, and thank you, uhc. nt

[il_lilac]

3. k&r

with tears in my eyes

[malaise]

4. A stunning post

painful.

Thanks George.
K & R

[bunkerbuster1]

5. "I’m sorry I couldn’t do more to keep them from sending you over there."

Me too.

[Coexist]

6. ...

[driver8]

7. Very powerful article...thank you for posting this. n/t

[merh]

8. .

[knitter4democracy]

9. The old lie: Dulce et decorum est pro patria mori.

The writer-soldiers are the truth tellers. They're the ones facing hell with every word who are the only ones to shock us out of our stereotypes and complacency. They are to be listened to, honored, and followed.

[truebrit71]

12. Indeed...one of the greatest war protest poems ever written...

...

[knitter4democracy]

31. I always read it to my students when I taught.

Made them think.

[The Backlash Cometh]

10. Damn. Now you have me crying.

[truebrit71]

11. Wow. Just...wow.

..

[recovering democrat]

13. Thank you

Such a powerful and meaningful message for those who serve in our military. This is "supporting the troops".

My soldier son has been back and forth several times. He says it is the quiet, strong dignity of your kind of understanding that helps to keep him sane. We understand. Thank you again.

[myrna minx]

14. K&R n/t

[madamesilverspurs]

15. Thank you for sharing this.

When traveling through an airport, I make it a point to approach those in uniform who can no longer be met at the gate by their loved ones. At the very least I shake their hands and thank them, and several have received quick hugs and a kiss on the cheek. One young sailor insisted on not letting go of my hand until we got to baggage claim, where he was met by his wife and baby. Little things, apparently, still do mean a lot.

[bdab1973]

16. I have to wonder...is that what people think...

when they see me coming home? Granted, I'm not infantry...but I'm here again for the fourth time (first three tours were only 4 months, though...this one is 12 months), and I guess I just don't feel that way! There are certainly those who have come home and suffered greatly from trauma, luckily I've only had the "pleasure" of being shot at, not losing any of my friends.

[yellerpup]

22. I will hold you in my heart every day until you return

and wish the very best for you. You take care.

[unhappycamper]

26. Welcome home, Brother.

I wasn't a grunt either but, like you, was frequently shot at (two tours). Unfortunately, I have lost some friends.

[knitter4democracy]

32. Let us all know if you need anything.

I haven't made a helmet liner in awhile and have some soft, good yarn for that. Let me know if you'd like one for those nights of guard duty.

[bdab1973]

47. Thanks...

Fortunately I'm an advisor to the Iraqi military, not pulling any guard duty!

[knitter4democracy]

49. Yay to no guard duty!

I owe some DU knitting elsewhere, but let me know if you need mittens (with a trigger finger, of course) or socks or whatever.

[bedazzled]

17. thank you

so heartbreaking...

[bertman]

18. Thanks to you for reminding us of these things we forget.

Helps put it all back into perspective.

[rniel]

19. cracker barrel

I'll never go in there man.

[Dystopian]

20. Heartfelt thanks...

That hit close to home. Too close.


peace~

[happygoluckytoyou]

21. on youtube watch?v=2L9zeHWktus don't worry though..... this guys in charge

[yellerpup]

23. Thank you.

This was very moving.

[Richard Steele]

24. K&R

[Juan_de_la_Dem]

25. This one got to me......

[Indenturedebtor]

27. Thank you. Bring them the f home now K+R

[redqueen]

28. Thanks for posting this. (nt)

[Bulletin Justin]

29. Thank you for posting this....

So many of us will never know what our military goes through. Still we know in the deepest corners of our being their experiences are so traumatic and devastating that no one who has not been there can possibly understand. We can feel it, but cannot put into words what we grapple with in our minds to even vaguely comprehend. This gets as close as anything I have read to explaining the helplessness I feel.

Thank you.

[barbtries]

30. powerful

i can't even enter that particular hell they share, but it grieves me no end that it is this way.

[bluesmail]

33. One of the most telling posts about WAR. n/t

[unapatriciated]

34. Thank You

and thanks to all who serve.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tMACzBomDK4

[shireen]

35. thank you.

the people who signed up to defend us deserve better.

[iconicgnom]

36. I dunno. I think the US culture of the warrior should be reexamined from ground up.

This "supporting the troops" day and night. The never ending mythologizing about war.

Fact is, the US mainland experienced a terrorist attack, one of several terrible attacks in the recent past - from diverse sources. It didn't experience a WAR on US soil. It didn't experience its neighborhoods bombed by F-16s, while occupation tanks rode down the streets of its cities. Imagine it did. In THAT case, I would totally empathize with the americans fighting from the rooftops, from the hills, for their freedom. Whether or not they were in uniform. In THAT case I would cry with the families of americans who saw, yes, a million or more of their own slaughtered, more millions dispossessed and made refugees, and I'd go down there to join the freedom fighters even tho' we might be only able to kill one of theirs for every 1000 of ours. In THAT case I'd see the whole american people as heros and heroines, understanding the bravery it would take in the middle of the night, hearing the occupation forces break down the door, looking for men and women and even capable children, dreading what was to come. But in the end, standing firm.

First question, when is the last time US "troops" ever fought for "freedom" and "democracy" and the holy ideals that are held up alongside "the US flag"? Really. At what point in US history was electing a president turned into electing a "commander in chief of the armed forces", and only secondarily anything else.

[Kaleko]

37. Yours is also a compelling perspective,

as necessary as the one expressed in the original post. I just want to say that some of us here are able to hold both (and even a few more) perspectives at the same time. And I sincerely hope that you won't get flamed for making "proud Americans" look at themselves through the eyes of the rest of the world.

Thank you, too.

[iconicgnom]

40. Oh, the world knows well that the majority of americans can hold both views.

I get the impression that the majority of americans are weary of that burden, but they don't know quite what to do.

Here I am up in Canada working at my "art" for next to minimum wage, "out of the scene" and getting older, watching events. I like some turns that events have taken in the recent while. I think that "the left" might be able to take root, with Obama. He's clearly a political genius, and clearly of good heart. I best compare him to, not "Kennedy", but Trudeau, a Canadian Prime Minister who won my great respect.

I look forward to the next 8 years of US leadership. In a sense, I depend on Obama winning. I don't see how I could take it, otherwise. I guess I have that in common with other contributers to this forum.

[OwnedByFerrets]

41. 100% agree...ty for being brave enough to say

truths that are very unpopular in Amerika.

[masmdu]

44. Exactly! Unless we face what you described Troops deserve support only as RESISTERS to war

If you don't want to be tormented by your actions then don't do horible things on command.

[truedelphi]

50. What gets me is that every single person who served in Iraq could have left for Dublin, or Belize o

Somewhere anywhere else.

But they were ordered to go over there and "kill themselves some terrorists" and they did so.

The people of Iraq, the land where they were sent - 50% of those people are children under the age
of 15. That nation initially had few terrorists. The hijackers in the planes were mostly from Saudi Arabia, but funny thing, we aren't waging war against Saudi Arabia.

Well with the war going on right now between Georgia and the Russian government, with The USA and Israel firmly on the side of Georgia, once that little war gets going, it might allow us to experience what it truly is like to be bombed from above.

War begets war, and we somehow believe that our nation is above it. But if you live by the sword, you die by the sword.

And since we don't live by no swords any more, we live by aerial bombs, that is how we may die.

[rasputin1952]

38. There are those who guard the gates during tumultuous times...

those who are willing to use some of their time here on earth to protect the nation, are unseen, anonymous. Even the dead are brought home, not to a tearful welcome from those whom they've served, but rather in a distinct silence, a silence brought on by the current "Commander in Chief".

It is a time in which we should honor these men and women, not only with our grateful thanks, but by bringing them home from a war that that was conceived in lies in obfuscations, and is more of an attempt at neo-colonial expansion, paid for with the blood of our nation's youth.

As a veteran, I know what these men and women do, I know the hardships they face, I know what their families feel. As a citizen, I know that our defenses are now down, I know that there are enemies outside the gates waiting for weakness; a weakness brought on by a mad fool that thinks he king.

I have heard Taps far too many times, for those I've known personally, and those who've worn the uniforms of this nation. It is not an error that those who cry for war, never have taken the opportunity to serve with brave men and women...there lies the fallacy of this situation. Those who have manned the gates know what I mean. Cold lonely nights, waiting, watching. Hot Summer days filled with dreary rain, waiting, watching. Christmas' lost. Children's birthdays passed without the warmth of the hearth or the first steps of a toddler missed because duty called.

These men and women serve us everyday, they should never be forgotten, and one falls or is wounded to the extent their duty can no longer, they have stood up for us, regardless of where they have been sent. It is not the duty of a soldier, airman, sailor or Marine to question why they have been sent, it is their duty to serve, and they have served well.

It is for us, the people they protect, to hold the officials that have sent them there, would keep them there and hide their return from us that we must hold accountable. This is our duty to them our, responsibility.

[Egnever]

52. In a pretty stunning thread. That was well said.

[rasputin1952]

53. I am a firm believer in Smedley Butler's view that war is a racket...

He had seen first hand what political corruption can to to the military. He, and his Marines were ordered to literally fight for the Dole company, so they could expand banana plantations. Men died so that corporate profits could increase.

This is no different, but then as now, it is not the soldiers who are at fault, it is those who sent them who have to be held accountable.

As a vet, and someone who has been active in veterans affairs for many a year, the men and women of today are being just as screwed as almost every other veteran from either peace or conflict. Only on the rarest of occasions have our veterans been treated somewhat well for the sacrifices they have made.

And those like cheney, bush and the cabal, the vast majority who have never served, and if they did, it was not for any sense of honor or duty to the nation, (think bush running out on his TXANG because he was about to be caught in a drug bust).

Our men and women are in a situation that has no end, they need to come home...but they should never have been used in this fashion in the first place.

[OwnedByFerrets]

39. That letter makes an awful lot of assumptions....

and pointing them out would get me lambasted with scorn. Just remember, not everyone who wears a uniform is a farking hero. I refuse to join in the group mentality that these people deserve our unquestioning adoration.

[Kaleko]

42. Romantisizing war and those who fight them - just what the neocons want us to do

while they're looting the US treasury and rob us of our civil rights at home.


"Military men are just dumb stupid animals to be used as pawns in foreign policy."
- Henry Kissinger

[Swamp Rat]

43. k&r

[The Wizard]

45. One thing to keep in mind

Combat veterans have a unique experience. Only in war do you go hunting for other people who are hunting for you. It is beyond the realm of normal human experience.

"If you are able,
save them a place
inside of you
and save one backward glance
when you are leaving
for the places they can
no longer go.
Be not ashamed to say
you loved them,
though you may
or may not have always.
Take what they have left
and what they have taught you
with their dying
and keep it with your own.
And in that time
when men decide and feel safe
to call the war insane,
take one moment to embrace
those gentle heroes
you left behind.
Major Michael Davis O'Donnell
1 January 1970
Dak To, Vietnam"

[Algorem]

46. what kind of a fatso buys a whole barrel of crackers?

this explains the american cracked-sidewalk epidemic.

[TahitiNut]

48. "...you knew I knew who you were..."

Ain't that the truth. (Folks who weren't 'there' can never know.)

[Mad_Dem_X]

51. I'm speechless.