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Home » Discuss » Archives » General Discussion (1/22-2007 thru 12/14/2010) Donate to DU
 
The Straight Story Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-20-08 05:21 PM
Original message
From my wife to you all:
She wrote the below as a reply to someone and tried to write an OP about care givers, but just couldn't get it done today. She hopes they won't see it as 'bitchy'

She is a good writer and I tried to help her in writing her own thread, but some days you got it and some you don't. Typing just is not her thing today and she is not much on dictation.

She wanted to thank you all and let you know you put a smile on her face in a dark time, and that she has a lot of admiration for care givers and DU'ers who took the time to make her feel better.

And I want to thank you all as well. You made her feel a lot better. Words have power.
.......

Im sorry it took me so long to get back to you. Please let me introduce myself. This is Autumnmist, also
known as Christi in the real world. The subject of my husband's post. I myself do not post much here due to
my disease. Parkinsons can make it very difficult to use my hands and fingers to type because of the
stiffness and tremors that I experience. Parkinsons medications (many not all) can also cause side effects
that make daily life a struggle, but I suppose thats another subject. :)

I wish I could be more expressive here..but I am not feeling well today so let me get to the point about
caregivers and what they mean to the people that need so much "attention/devotion". The people who care for
us and love us struggle with us as we do. Daily. Our pain does become their pain as well on a level that
you yourself do not or cannot seem to understand. If it wasn't meant to be a snarky comment that's fine, I
will chalk it up to ignorance and leave it at that.

My husband is not just someone who posts here on DU. He is my lover, best friend, father, and a man in his
own right. He is not a maid and he certainly doesn't have to "tend" to me 24/7. Whatever the man I love
wants to do or needs to do to be himself regardless of the forum is his right. And he certainly doesn't
need to explain himself to you or anyone else. Nor do I. He has the right to do it and I am happy that we
both have found a place to engage with some of the most beautiful compassionate people that you could ever
meet. I see that you have posted many times here, so I will assume you also are here for many of the same
reasons.

I hope that one day if you face any struggle that causes you to face the same dilemmas that you can have
the blessing of someone like I have and avoid (in your time of need) the comments like the one you posted
yourself above. I wish you the best and if you would like you can always PM me so I can educate you further
on Parkinsons and what the angels that are caregivers are like. Have a good day.

Autumn
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BlooInBloo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-20-08 05:23 PM
Response to Original message
1. :) Best wishes to you both.
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Taverner Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-20-08 05:25 PM
Response to Original message
2. Best for both of you!
BTW...regarding your wife's Parkinsons: I am worried about this myself, because I have been taking Effexor and Welbutrin for a while - and I worry as they have a direct effect on your Dopamine, that I will end up with this at some point in my life.

Did she ever take any meds like SSRI's or MAOI's?
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flashl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-20-08 05:25 PM
Response to Original message
3. I wish you the best for you and your love ones. nt
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uppityperson Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-20-08 05:26 PM
Response to Original message
4. I haven't been on much recently, have missed what's going on but wish you both the best
Having a chronic disease or condition can be a real pain and I wish you both the best. 1 of my parent's had a neuro-thing (prefer to not be too open about it), other was caretaker for yrs, finally MS parent died of unrelated thing. As a nurse, it was even more difficult for me, not being able to separate out like I do in my professional life.

At any rate, best wishes to both of you.
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Bluzmann57 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-20-08 05:27 PM
Response to Original message
5. Good Luck to you Christi
I hope you don't mind if I use your given name. I admire you for your courage during this ordeal and wish you nothing but the best. Good luck to you. You are a courageous lady. Thank you for the posts.
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TomInTib Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-20-08 05:29 PM
Response to Original message
6. God loves you when you dance.
You don't even have to move around.

No feet, no hands, no nothing...

Just Dance.
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givemebackmycountry Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-20-08 05:32 PM
Response to Original message
7. Autumn...
We love you girl.
And we love your hubby too.
We have your back, and we wish only the best for you guys.
We're all caregivers in one way or another.
Some of us are better at it than others.



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Mojorabbit Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-20-08 05:34 PM
Response to Original message
8. I have MS
and it has taken my husband and I years to strike a balance. From me being terribly independent and refusing help on one end and my husband smothering me on the other. I had to learn to accept help when I needed it and he had to learn when to back off. I also had to push him to go have time with his friends and he had to let me go off and do the things I want to do.
The balance constantly shifts as my health needs wax and wane. Sending you both the good "mojo" and I am confident you will in time find your balance.
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grantcart Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-20-08 05:43 PM
Response to Reply #8
11. blessings to both of you and best wishes in your heroic fight
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tularetom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-20-08 05:36 PM
Response to Original message
9. You are two quality people
If this earth were populated entirely by people like you it would be a much finer place for us all to live in.

May the deity of your choice bless you both.
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Faygo Kid Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-20-08 05:37 PM
Response to Original message
10. You are a lucky man, Straight Story. And I say that knowing your myriad problems.
We all get one go-round in life. Seems to me Christi is giving you strength. Your frustrations and pain are understandable. But there is grace and beauty here. That, after all, is worth more than all of Blackwater's billions, ultimately.

She's a good writer, too. All the best to both of you.
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grantcart Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-20-08 05:44 PM
Response to Original message
12. keep fighting, we are on your side.
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backwoodsbob Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-20-08 05:45 PM
Response to Original message
13. bless you both
I have love for both of you.

It's hard sometimes to hear people say buckle up or pull up your bootstrings.My Dad had a quad bypass at 62 and people expected him to just pop up and go back to doing hard labor.It doesn't work that way folks.

THANK God he has a strong network to help him.Not everyone has that option available.

Tell you what I'll do....I'll donate 50 bucks to the charity of the op's choice and can I get a match total here of 100 bucks.

I'll post the check/bank statement to prove it.

Can't do it till Friday..I live check to check...but I'll donate 50
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The Straight Story Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-20-08 05:56 PM
Response to Reply #13
17. Wife said:
Michael J Fox Foundation - but not to worry about it please as we live the same way, and it ain't always easy and she would feel guilty about it.

Your post brought tears to her eyes - as have so many others here. In the hardest week of our 10 years together we have both been overwhelmed with the kind words of others.

It is lonely for us here, and I hope to hell we get to meet some DU'ers in person soon. We could use some friends.
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backwoodsbob Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-20-08 06:10 PM
Response to Reply #17
18. the Micheal J foundation it is
I'm going to donate 50 in your *user* name.

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catchnrelease Donating Member (359 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-20-08 11:34 PM
Response to Reply #17
30. Where is here if I may ask?
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The Straight Story Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-20-08 11:40 PM
Response to Reply #30
31. Bakersfield, CA (nt)
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SalmonChantedEvening Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-20-08 05:46 PM
Response to Original message
14. My love to you both.
:loveya:

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Bobbieo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-20-08 05:49 PM
Response to Reply #14
15. Again - Bless you both. Your problems make mine insignificant!!!
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femmocrat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-20-08 05:50 PM
Response to Original message
16. Thank you for sharing your story.
That takes tremendous courage.

Best wishes to you both. :hug:
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formercia Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-20-08 06:23 PM
Response to Original message
19. I hope you can find hapiness and wishing for a cure.
Here's for the best for you and yours.
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Mnemosyne Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-20-08 06:40 PM
Response to Original message
20. Beautiful, Autumn, just beautiful. You are both so fortunate to have each other. I am
also ill and have no one right now.

Namaste.

:hug:
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hisownpetard Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-20-08 06:42 PM
Response to Original message
21. Christi - I've always wondered who the beautiful woman at the end of Straight Story's posts was.
For fear of sounding dumb and not recognizing some famous persona, I never asked.
Now I know that it's you!
And now I can see, not just from your picture but from your own words, why S.S. is so obviously in love with you.

How rare, to find two people whose hearts match each other's. There is poetry in that and beauty in that coming-together.

I am not a "religious" person but will definitely pray for both of you to find even more strength and hope than you've already exhibited.

You are an inspiration to us all!

Much love,
Susan/
h.o.p.

:loveya: :hug: :loveya:
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checks-n-balances Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-20-08 06:51 PM
Response to Original message
22. Hi - thanks for your frank discussion
Whenever I've been able to catch the posts that chronicle some the experiences and struggles you have had together, there is always something to learn. Sometimes it's just getting a different perspective on life or reminding me what's really important. I hope that posting them is as helpful, cathartic, beneficial, etc. to either or both of you as they are to others here.

So much of the news and issues on DU are so discouraging and overwhelming, and dealing with Parkinson's must be hell sometimes - I can't imagine. But no matter what posts I've read coming from your household, one thing is always clear: your love for each other.

I wish both strength and many more good days than bad...
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annabanana Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-20-08 08:16 PM
Response to Original message
23. I'm sorry there was a poster here who could not even
attempt a walk in your dear wife's (and your) moccasins. Each life has it's own trials & blessings, and each of us does what we can and must do. I hope that any strength or solace you may draw from this board always outways any extra burden it may place on you.
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AutumnMist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-20-08 08:22 PM
Response to Reply #23
24. The many posts here have been a beacon of light to us
I have read DU for a long time, and it pulled me out of my stupid RW self and taught me a lot more than I ever thought I could know.

I have found wonderful friends here and even finally found myself - because so many here were true to their beliefs.

DU gave me something wonderful, and I hope I can give it back.
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bonito Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-20-08 08:45 PM
Response to Original message
25. You give me validation
Edited on Sun Jul-20-08 08:45 PM by bonito
Thank you! As strong an determined as I am is in part because of insight as yours.
:) Peace Sis.
:hug:
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gatorboy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-20-08 09:24 PM
Response to Original message
26. We wish you both the very best!
From my family to yours.
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progressoid Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-20-08 10:23 PM
Response to Original message
27. I can't imagine...
I recently spent a day with a relative with Parkinsons. It was a good day for him, but he is losing his ability to do what he has done all his life. His life long vocation and passion is slipping away. I can't imagine what I would do in his shoes.

However, he, like you, has someone in his life to ease the struggles. I can't imagine what this is like for her either.

You are both wonderful people and deserve more than we can offer here. Wish I could do more than type simple words to you.

:grouphug:

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roguevalley Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-20-08 10:56 PM
Response to Original message
28. From my heart to yours, Christi. I only wish you and yours everything
that is good and hopeful. I was caregiver to my parents and know how hard it can be but it was the GREATEST, most IMPORTANT thing I have ever done in my life. Nothing is more important than that. Take care and know you are loved.

RV
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beac Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jul-20-08 11:07 PM
Response to Original message
29. I wish I could give you health as well as my deepest admiration,
You are truly an inspiring couple.

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Hekate Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-21-08 04:17 AM
Response to Original message
32. Thanks to you both for the update. Blessings for the love that is in your house...
... that shows through every line TSS writes about the three of you. I hope you meet some kindred spirits soon out there in Bakersfield.
:grouphug:

Hekate


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applegrove Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-21-08 11:59 AM
Response to Original message
33. Vibes to you and yours.
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