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Um..how are we going to talk about ..you know...S-A-N-T-A this year?

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underpants Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-29-08 10:37 AM
Original message
Um..how are we going to talk about ..you know...S-A-N-T-A this year?
I mean with the ice gone from the Arctic Circle this summer how is the ...you know.... :hide:



































story about (whispers) S-A-N-T-A going to hold up

My daughter will only be 3 for this Christmas/Holiday season so she won't be all that aware of there being NO SNOW and such but what about the 6, 8, 10 year olds and such?

And what do we tell them when they ask "Why didn't Santa save the North Pole?"

We may want to spit ball some ideas on this so we have our stories straight come the end of the year.

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flvegan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-29-08 10:42 AM
Response to Original message
1. Santa moved to Florida and outsourced elven duties to India and Panama.
The North Pole fell into disrepair.
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underpants Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-29-08 10:45 AM
Response to Reply #1
2. I see that the Catskills may have a plan to revitalize
CASINOs

:shrug:

Think about it-nothing better to do in the arctic but gamble!!! throw in some Viking clad teutonic hookers and its WIN WIN



or WYNN WYNN if you will
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flvegan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-29-08 10:50 AM
Response to Reply #2
5. And there's no age limits.
Bring your 9 year old for tyke blackjack and shooters!
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underpants Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-29-08 10:51 AM
Response to Reply #5
6. even better
:beer: :bounce:
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Deja Q Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-29-08 12:47 PM
Response to Reply #1
25. That's because it was built in China and shipped up there.
:hide:
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Blue_In_AK Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-29-08 10:48 AM
Response to Original message
3. He hangs out in North Pole, Alaska
during the summer, and by winter the real thing will be frozen back over.

http://www.northpolealaska.com/
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noamnety Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-29-08 10:49 AM
Response to Original message
4. All Christmas gifts
need to be focused on water activities. Water wings, snorkels, flippers.

The new story is that Santa loves scuba diving. Also, he's not fat, he's just bulky because there's a wet suit under his clothes.
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Vickers Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-29-08 10:54 AM
Response to Original message
7. "Kids? We need to have a little talk..."
Edited on Sun Jun-29-08 10:55 AM by Vickers
*deep breath*


"I hate to tell you this, but...George Bush killed Santa Claus."

:evilgrin: :evilgrin: :evilgrin:
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Amimnoch Donating Member (377 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-29-08 12:35 PM
Response to Reply #7
21. Why limit it to George Bush??
Tell them it was republicans in general who killed Santa Clause so they have a bias against them from early on!
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JVS Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-29-08 12:39 PM
Response to Reply #21
23. As much as I dislike the republicans, I cannot blame them for all the ecological consequences of...
worldwide industrialization. It's not like JFK and LBJ were trying to create an ecologically friendly society, and even Carter and his "wear a fucking sweater people" campaign isn't exactly a world-saver.
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anigbrowl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-29-08 02:24 PM
Response to Reply #21
34. I don't remember Bill Clinton stringly defending the idea of signing the Kyoto treaty either
One of my big disappointments with him. There's plenty of blame to go around, even if the Republicans seem determined to get a larger share.
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ColbertWatcher Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-29-08 02:49 PM
Response to Reply #21
37. The GOP's hatred of science is behind the denial of global warming. n/t
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underpants Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-29-08 01:26 PM
Response to Reply #7
29. LOL
that one cracked my wife up

:bounce:
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GOPisEvil Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-29-08 10:54 AM
Response to Original message
8. Dude, Santa is like Betty Crocker.
He's just a made-up figurehead. Santa Enterprises, Inc. is nothing more than a corporation based in Puerto Rico with labor outsourced to the 3rd world. Final assembly for toys headed to the USA is done in Guam so they can slap a "Made in USA" sticker on them.
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noamnety Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-29-08 12:23 PM
Response to Reply #8
18. I wish Santa and Betty Crocker would pair up
and make coffee flavored cake frosting as a Christmas gift for me.
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Deja Q Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-29-08 12:48 PM
Response to Reply #18
26. And their offspring would make a real party favor too...
:yoiks:
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underpants Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-29-08 01:28 PM
Response to Reply #8
30. He hangs out at the MGM Mirage playing highstakes backgammon
with the high end "entertainers" at the bar
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OffWithTheirHeads Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-29-08 10:55 AM
Response to Original message
9. With the economic meltdown that will really start hitting this fall
Santa won't be coming this year. The real war on Christmas will be surged and it will be all "Mission Accomplished" and Santa will be found in his spidy hole and hanged! Children who want presents will be told to pull themselves up by their bootstraps and those who have no boots should have taken personal responsibility. Free gifts indeed! Fucking Socialists!

Oh, and Rudolph will be sent to Gitmo for being Sadam... I mean Santa's driver and will confess under torture to conspiricy to re distrubute wealth in the wrong direction.

Stay tuned for updates.
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Missy Vixen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-29-08 11:02 AM
Response to Reply #9
10. Considering the fact that heating oil is projected to double
in cost for those living on the East Coast, it's going to be a very bad retail season.

It'll be interesting to see how this is spun in the media. Hmmm -- Christmas presents or heat? Christmas presents or filling the gas tank? Christmas presents or food?

Yikes.
Julie

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hunter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-29-08 11:16 AM
Response to Reply #9
13. Dick Cheney shot Rudolph a long time ago.
It was a Christmas Eve "hunting accident." Of course our lap-dog press swept the entire incident under the rug and most people never heard about it.

Rudolph's head is mounted in Cheney's secret bunker, and Rudolph's dead nose is lit up with nuclear power.
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Jack Rabbit Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-29-08 11:08 AM
Response to Original message
11. Santa's Ark
Santa, Mrs. Claus, the elves and the reindeer saw this coming and built a large houseboat to continue his work. The houseboat rests on the North Pole.

It is not known whether there are any polar bear on board.

Meanwhile, Santa's list of naughty is said to include Bush, Cheney and former ExxonMobil CEO Lee Raymond.
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tom_paine Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-29-08 11:15 AM
Response to Original message
12. "Santa drowned, children."
It'll help get them ready for the future that is coming.
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LWolf Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-29-08 11:29 AM
Response to Original message
14. I had this conversation with my 8yo grandson yesterday.
He is beyond literal belief, in that stage of wistful pretending because he wishes there were really a Santa.

We'll probably spend this winter exploring the myth of Santa Claus, and why it perpetuates.

Yesterday, though, I asked his dad, with the grandboy's ears perked and listening, what was going to happen to Santa when all the ice melted. We had a pseudo-serious discussion, watching his ears twitch and his mental gears shifting. His dad replied that he thought it was too far to move him all the way to Antarctica. That he would move the toy factory onto a large floating barge-type island. The only problem would be what to do with the reindeer.

I suggested that he send the reindeer into retirement, and switch to flying fish, and a flying boat instead of a sleigh. At that point, a very red young boy snorted, started giggling, and said he'd like to see that.

We have a reindeer ranch about 5 miles away, and have to pass it to get to town or work, so reindeer are a common sight locally.
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OffWithTheirHeads Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-29-08 12:03 PM
Response to Reply #14
15. Reindeer my ass
That's a commie terrorist training camp.
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LWolf Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-29-08 12:24 PM
Response to Reply #15
19. And here we thought that's where the reindeer stayed
until Santa needed them, lol. It's the largest reindeer ranch in the nation. A few are kept in pens by the road so that people can stop and take pictures:

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onethatcares Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-29-08 12:54 PM
Response to Reply #14
27. hell, I wish there was a Santa Claus,
because after working all these years, I could use some new toys.
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ColbertWatcher Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-29-08 01:35 PM
Response to Reply #14
31. Santa in flip-flops is not as good a myth...
...as Santa with boots.

This is so sad...


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cherokeeprogressive Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-29-08 12:06 PM
Response to Original message
16. I didn't know Santa was in the business of "saving" ANYTHING.
Tell your kids THERE IS NO SANTA and that it's a fun fairytale that used to make people feel good about being good.
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L0oniX Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-29-08 12:15 PM
Response to Original message
17. Not to mention that The Bob is now unfrozen and is making its way south...
absorbing all of humanity.




"I Dont See How It Matters That I Dont Know The Price Of Gas" --John McCain

"I disagree with what the majority of the American people want." John McCain
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Occam Bandage Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-29-08 12:28 PM
Response to Original message
20. He's dead. The melting ice unlocked the elder god Cthulhu, who devoured his soul.
Edited on Sun Jun-29-08 12:29 PM by Occam Bandage
All will now die an unimaginably horrifying death.
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JVS Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-29-08 12:36 PM
Response to Original message
22. God finally killed him for taking the spotlight from baby Jesus. Masha'Allah!
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JVS Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-29-08 12:46 PM
Response to Original message
24. First you have to tell them the ugly truth so that the see the need for desantafication
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anigbrowl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-29-08 02:26 PM
Response to Reply #24
35. You lie! The TRUTH is out there!!!
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0rganism Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-29-08 01:11 PM
Response to Original message
28. SCUBA Claus
SCUBA Claus delivers waterproof presents to children in his magical submarine, pulled by 12 magical squid. He comes in through the drainpipes when everyone's asleep, and leaves through the toilet. If you want to be extra nice, set out a tray of green-tree air fresheners and deoderant for SCUBA Claus this Christmas.
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carlyhippy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-29-08 01:49 PM
Response to Original message
32. well, Santa decided that it was just too cold up there
so he moved to his own island in the south pacific, he still has his reindeer and elves, he built his own toy factories. He will still fire up the reindeer/sleigh, but he put skis on the sled vs. skids. his nose is still red, but it's sunburned instead of frostbit.
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Blue Belle Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-29-08 02:18 PM
Response to Original message
33. Well unless there's a special news bulletin that interrupts Hanna Montana...
Edited on Sun Jun-29-08 02:18 PM by Blue Belle
I doubt most kids will know about it. While many of us talk about these problems with our children, most kids in the USA get the same information as their parents do and from the same sources.
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RC Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Jun-29-08 02:38 PM
Response to Reply #33
36. Sadly, I think you are correct.
For too many people nothing changes till the evidence is so overwhelming that it can not be denied.
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