Anybody else have rightwing relatives? How have you dealt with them?

[LucyParsons]

Poll question: Anybody else have rightwing relatives? How have you dealt with them?

I'm sure you do, and I'm sure many of you have gotten tired of arguing sense to the senseless, trying to use reason to convince the irrational.

I've made the decision to pretty much ignore and write-off my extended family. I'll see them about once every two years, at a wedding or a Christmas gathering. They'll talk about Jesus, and homosexuals, and guns, and blacks, and Mexicans, and terra-ists, and liberals, and atheists. Once my kind-hearted (but Hagee-watching) grandparents die, I am coming out of the closet as the atheist socialist that I am, calling them on their bullshit each and every time they spew it in my presence, and the rest of them can suck it.

Then I'll only have two rightwing ideologues to deal with on a regular basis: my dad and stepmother. I'll continue to have a less-than-ideal relationship with them because of the tension over our vastly differing political views.

What about you guys?

[Warpy]

1. My tactic with my parents during their (mercifully) brief

fling with Lamebawl was to leave the room when they started ranting. I'd go for a walk or go pick up a few things at the grocery, whatever, just to kill at least 15 minutes. When I got back, I'd sweetly ask, "Are you DONE?"

They got the point after about 4 times. They weren't dummies.

I never talked politics with my right wing father after I turned 20. I'm glad to say he finally came around and a vote for Kerry was his last.

It's not up to us to teach our parents. All we can do is set boundaries and hope they manage to come around without driving us crazy in the process.

[ThatsMyBarack]

2. I never see my RW relatives....

On either side of my family, unless it's for a huge family gathering (wedding, funeral, etc.) Even then, I do more of the listening, and let my mom do most of the talking.

[MedleyMisty]

3. I only have one in my family

My half-brother who moved back to live with his father (who had abused my mother) when I was two, so I never knew him much or felt attached to him. He's also insane - like once he had an episode and was waving a loaded pistol around at all of us. And another time he got into a fist fight with my other half-brother. Also once he took the phone off the hook so that the police couldn't call or something and tried to hide in my closet. Oh, and I can still remember the horrible pit in my stomach when I was in the back of his car doing figure 8s on the highway.

I voted for having disowned him, because I don't feel like he's my brother - he's a scary monster who I only have to see very very occasionally and I avoid him and stay out of his way as much as possible when forced to be with him. I do realize that his neurochemistry is not his fault, but I don't want to be shot and killed either.

[riderinthestorm]

4. I avoid my BIL entirely.

At family gatherings, I simply move to another room or sit far away so we don't have conversations. He's a first class jackass.

My mother is harder. I call her once/week and we have a very brief, polite, perfunctory conversation. "How are your tulips coming?", "Did you try that lovely succotash recipe I gave you?", "Thank you for the birthday card.", "The CSO is playing Mahler this summer, do you want tickets?" It's banal and empty but we've learned through bitter experience that we are such incredibly different people it's impossible to believe we're related. If she weren't my mother the relationship would have died years ago. When we get together, she is careful to ensure that someone else (preferably multiple people) is included so conversation doesn't die completely.

I understand where you are coming from - it's hard. :hug:

[unpossibles]

5. somewhat all of the above

I generally avoid the subject, but speak up when they spout ignorant crap (which they always do), but generally try to remain polite about it if possible.

[havocmom]

6. Don't have to deal in person and have pretty well trained him to not email propaganda

When the Winger talking points emails came, I USED to try and gently point out the falsehoods and bull shit. They slowed, but still came once in awhile. Decided to go harder on him, BLUNTLY pointing out the falsehoods, lies, distortions, bigotry and bullshit, along with citations and proof of my accuracy. I also pointed out that, while I still loved him, I did not like this laziness of intellect that he demonstrated by forwarding crap emails without applying a modicum of critical thought to the content. I pointed out that I knew he was raised better than that (he is my brother) and if he does indeed honor his mother an father like he claims, he needs to take a look at the crap he passes on and ask himself if it is ANYTHING like what our parents stood for.

They slowed again. When they started up again, I made VERY airtight cases as to why that crap won't fly, citations, historical fact, critical debate and flat out calling him and EVERYONE like him on the laziness of intellect and simply bigotry they show by sending such obvious lies around to provoke more hate and less problems solving in the world, ONLY this time, I hit REPLY ALL.

Seems lots of people didn't like the fact that THEIR email addresses were now in the hands of a liberal who was not a doormat and won't take RW/Rush talking points sitting down. They either stopped sending crap, or at least stopped sending it to my brother. I did hear from some of them. Rather lame and whiny crap which was easily and happily destroyed in some replies to their remarks.

Once spine is shown, calmly and with indisputable facts to back up stupid talking points without any real basis in fact, the crap stops pretty fast.

Try it. It's fun. And it sends some of the damned fools back under their rocks. They only have courage to come out when they think the world is their echo chamber. Show them it isn't and they show themselves for the lazy cowards they ar.

[LucyParsons]

10. I did this very thing when I finally got the "Obama's a Muslim" email

I replied all, too.

My cousin wrote back, "I thought you might know."

No more emails.

[raccoon]

16. Good for you! nt

[Doityourself]

7. I poisoned all of mine. None left.

[LawSchoolLiberal]

8. I voted "Other."

Most of my family is center-left; they care about specific issues, they vote and they work on the occasional local campaign.

My brother, on the other hand, is a fire-breathing conservative. He used to be a "northeastern" economic/libertarian conservative, (still not sure how that happened!) but then he married into a religious family, who are very conservative on social issues, and that rubbed off on him, too. We seem to agree on issues about once every... decade? Century? But, despite that, we're still family, we still care about each other, and we talk about political issues all the time. We both know where the other stands, but both of us will take a good-hearted ribbing from the other, and we both still want to hash out ideas. I'm surprised it seems to be so rare. I guess I'm just lucky to be part of an unusually close family.

[Tracer]

9. I always knew my sister was conservative ...

... (not necessarily "right-wing") but we NEVER talked politics. In fact, she would always be the one to put a stop to political arguments at the dinner table.

However --- last weekend, politics came up as I was visiting her and her husband.

I couldn't believe my ears when she came up with things like:

"Bush has had some good ideas, like re-working Social Security."

"Bush is NOT a stupid man".

"I can't vote for Obama, he's too inexperienced."


There was more, but I was the one to change the subject, since I love her and do not want to cause a rift.

However, I do believe that people's opinions are filtered through their life experiences. And I believe that her approval of privatizing Social Security comes directly from her last job as Vice President of INVESTOR RELATIONS! at a well-known, national company.

[TooBigaTent]

11. I have held my tongue in deference to my wife who wants to keep the peace

with her wing-nut family. So, I keep quiet, even in MY OWN HOME.

But it does piss me off. And I have noticed that it is ALWAYS the liberal who tries to keep the peace by stifiling our voices, but the cons do not know how to keep their mouths shut.

It is pointless to argue with them because they have no functioning brain.

Fuck them. Who needs shit like that?

[Autumn]

12. Voted other

they are my family and I love them. We treat each other with love and respect.

[Indenturedebtor]

13. I bring up politics alot. They generally try to avoid it

Because they're good people and their hearts are in the right place. So they have a hard time winning arguments with me, and it makes them uncomfortable.

[OnyxCollie]

14. My right wing cousin blew a fuse on Easter.

Of course, I helped.:evilgrin:

He got so angry, he couldn't get his talking points straight. Hell, he couldn't even form a complete sentence. As he ranted, I leaned over to tell my parents, "When you can't win an argument, start talking louder, call people names, attack their character..." My cousin stormed out of the room, yelling "What do you expect from a Democrat?"

"...And when all else fails, run away."

He hasn't called my dad in over two months.

[Mudoria]

15. One of the best things about a family picnic is when

we start talking politics. Sometimes I get all the good points and sometimes they do. Sure does make the beer taste better when I can nail them tho :toast:

[Turbineguy]

17. I'm not going to let Bush

destroy my family.

[LucyParsons]

18. What about when your family created Bush, though?

My family are long, long, longtime rightwing crazies.

[Turbineguy]

22. Then they should

start selling their organs!

http://vincentbiss.wordpress.com/

[MrCoffee]

19. MrsCoffee has threatened me with death if I talk politics with her father.

She's a very tough lady, MrsCoffee is. I don't cross her.

[Duppers]

20. I do try to 'teach' my mother and she has learned some things, but

I've said the hell with all other wingers in my extended family. I literally avoid ALL contact with them.

Objectively I hate 'em and treat them as I would any other group of wingers.

My principles trump any blood ties....except for my 83 yr old mother, who's still learning.

[bunkerbuster1]

21. Only a smattering of wingnuttery in my immediate family.

We try to keep it civilized, and it usually is, although there've been some heated discussions.

I continue to keep working on my father, who is one of those "lifelong Democrats" who have been suckered into Reaganite claptrap for the past 25 or so years. I know he's fond of Obama, though, so maybe there's hope.