10 Things Never to Say to a Black Coworker

[The Straight Story]

10 Things Never to Say to a Black Coworker
by Eric Hinton. Date Posted: April 08, 2008


"Fried chicken anyone?" "You speak really well." "Is that your real hair?"

In 2008, you'd think the taboo subjects and phrases would be clearly outlined and understood by all when it comes to what is and is not acceptable to say to a Black colleague. But that's far from the case. Here are 10 things you never want to say to a Black coworker or boss.

1) You're so articulate

2) Is That Your Real Hair?

3) "You" people

4) Do you eat a lot of … (plug in the offending stereotype here)

5) Why are you so angry?

All the rest with detailed info here:
http://www.diversityinc.com/public/3372.cfm

It's 2008 and people still say some of this at work/etc? Jeebus.

I might not agree with some of them (like #5, which I think can apply to anyone and is a little generic) but damn.

[BigDaddy44]

1. I think in general its not a good idea to ask ANYONE if thats their real hair

[Danmel]

30. I was once asked where I got my wig

because it looked so natural. I was in an Orthodox Jewish neighborhood at the time and I guess the woman thought I was wearing a wig because Orthodox married women cover their hair and some wear wigs.

But of course I wasn't wearing a wig- so I just said, "Well it looks natural because it is natural" and she got flustered and apologized and said she hoped she hadn't offended me (which she hadn't-I'm much thicker skinned than that). It was actually pretty funny.

[KamaAina]

2. Can you get me some tickets for the Celtics game tonight?

:shrug:

[JuniperLea]

3. Same could be said for talking to a woman...

Are you pregnant?

Is that your real hair color?

On the rag?

[panader0]

4. I'm getting really tired of political correctness

My kids don't swear (around me), but I told them years ago that it's not the word as much as it is the feeling or intent behind them. I have several friends of different colors and we all tease each other. As construction workers, putting each other down is part of liking someone.

[nichomachus]

5. And I'm getting tired of people

who use the phony phrase "political correctness" as a justification for being offensive jerks.

[blondeatlast]

14. Exactly. If you want to tell the joke, tell it--just don't whine "political correctness"

when I call you out on your racism/sexism/bias of whatever kind.

[Staph]

21. Amen to that!

I get so tired of my conservative co-workers whining about political correctness. What they call political correctness is what my mother called good manners. You don't call someone a nasty name, whether the person is present or not.

[Quantess]

9. I think it's a little different in a group of 16 year olds.

However, when that teenager leaves his peer group and goes to work with mature adults, the rules change. The young people might as well start to learn not to say dumb stuff to people.

[blondeatlast]

22. Q: What do people who complain about "political correctness" do when a powerful woman enters a room?

A: Hide behind her skirts and point at the bad person who called them oout on their appalling social ineptitude...

"Mommeee, that person called me ruuuuude..."

[callous taoboy]

25. Which political correctness? "Save the baby seals" or "Clinton had Vince Foster murdered"?

[calico1]

6. Most of those could also apply to non Black minorites.

I am a Hispanic woman and I always get this one:

"You speak English so well! How long have you lived in this country?"

Ummm, actually I was BORN in this country. Yet many people presume I was born somewhere else and are amazed at how well I can speak the language.

Also, I am Puerto Rican. My culture is very different from Mexican culture. Yet people sometimes ask me tips on making Mexican dishes. I have no clue. I know as much as you do!

I also get told I am so quiet and have such nice manners. Some people practically gasp when I tell them I was born and raised in the Bronx.
I guess they expected me to act like a gang member?

[CatWoman]

10. coulda fooled me -- those look like gangsta kitties if I've ever seen one

:)

:hi:

all my cats are ghetto -- especially Streak.


Skittles suspects Streak is a pusher :rofl:

[calico1]

17. Well...the kitties are a whole other story.

I have a gang of 8.

:rofl:

:hi:

[The Straight Story]

11. Can you get me a good recipe for tamales?

;)

Odd thing is, I live in a mostly hispanic hood, and most of them here do make them (especially at Christmas) and now I have started making them as well (this is making me hungry!)

I think in some ways it is not so bad really because there are noted cultural differences between myself and most people here I interact with (and when i was making tamales last month I hit up my neighbor for some lard, and he gave me a tamale steamer to use as well). So in some ways I can see it being a valid question, in others...not.

Not sure where one draws the line though :)

[MindPilot]

7. Thanks for the link -- I liked "7 Things Never to Say to Asian-American Executives"

Since I work for a major Japanese electronics company.

[Karenina]

8. 7, 8 and 9 are REAL GEMS!!!

7) You don't sound Black over the phone.

What does Black sound like?



8) I don't think of you as Black.

DiversityInc Partner and Cofounder Luke Visconti received a letter from a reader who was presented with this particular compliment. He responded, "What you are experiencing is the first instance of a person accepting another person who is outside of their 'tribe.' Although the words and the sentiment are insulting, the person expressing them is (usually) not consciously trying to insult you. In their backward and ignorant way, they are actually trying to give you a compliment."



9) You graduated from where?

This particular offense came to our attention directly from one of our readers, Beatriz Mallory, who wrote, "In a career of nearly 30 years, I've heard them all. I am both African American and Hispanic, so I get it from both sides, on top of being a female. In trying to recall the worst, I'd have to nominate this one. It is the unguarded question "YOU went to CORNELL? WOW!" The implication is that in their mind, someone like me isn't automatically worthy of such an accomplishment. I never express my annoyance."

[Jeff In Milwaukee]

12. Number 11: Are you related to Sammy Davis, Jr?

I could go on...

[drmeow]

13. They are things you wouldn't want to

say to any minority, boss, coworker, or otherwise. With one exception ... as a faculty member if I tell a student that they are very articulate it is comparison to other students at my university not other students of their race, ethnicity, or class.

[The Straight Story]

15. I think it all boils down to context

just my humble opinion :)

[drmeow]

19. I agree

My point, in part, was that non-minorities shouldn't say stupid things but minorities also need to be sensitive to context.

[Karenina]

24. And THAT is the #1 rule I stress to my ESL students

CONTEXT IS EVERYTHING!

[knitter4democracy]

16. #12: Well, my black friends thought it was funny.

Same for women. Just because some woman you know though the joke was funny or your one African American friend thought it was funny, don't e-mail that joke around the company.

[FiveGoodMen]

18. I'm white and I've been called articulate many times.

I wonder what people meant by that?!

[MindPilot]

20. Well, do you sound Black on the phone?

Sorry, I had to.

:hide:

[FiveGoodMen]

23. !

:rofl:

[Lautremont]

26. "Do you know Leslie Uggams?" should be on that list.

It's a highly offensive assumption.

[The Straight Story]

27. Well....

do you? ;)

[LanternWaste]

28. And from our home office in Peoria, Il-- the #1 thin NOT to say to your boss...

And from our home office in Peoria, Il-- the #1 thin NOT to say to your boss...

1. "Hey-- it was a party and we were ALL drinking! Anyway, I had no idea she was your wife..."


(Yes. Yes I did. It was stupid, I was younger, and I was all kinds of wrong... :evilgrin: )

[kskiska]

29. My mother once got into trouble using the word "gal"

All her life she'd referred to females (of any color) as "gals." A black co-worker took offense, though none was intended. My mom felt really bad about it.

[booley]

31. But with if some who is black happens to be articulate?

Because the Gods know there are plenty of people that aren't and it has nothing to do with race.

and what if someone who is black does seem to be unjustifiably angry? I have known quite a few people who use anger as a defense mechanism to cover up when they are in the wrong (the How dare you! Defense). So does this mean if the person who is doing this black, I can't call them on it? Isn't that a double standard?

While many of the examples display a prejudice on the speaker's part, doesn't the listener also have an obligation to try to not let his own prejudices get in the way of communicating?

I can understand how people, including coworkers, can be ignorant to the point of offensiveness. But I am not sure this is how to fix that.