NOTE: This is political satire and is to be afforded all the applicable well-established rights with regards to treatment of public figures. - H'spitTo the moderately informed voting public,
We, the undersigned Republicans, on being morally outraged to discover New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer has paid money to a prostitute,
We, on being morally outraged to discover that he is a "whoremonger" and has betrayed the public trust by spending outrageous amounts of cash on illegal, immoral activities.
We, therefore, call for the IMPEACHMENT of the governor, and, to underscore our moral imperative to be outraged, shocked, shocked, we tell you, and to call for removal of deceitful officials from public service, have provided our professional credentials below:
http://salem-news.com/articles/october172007/repub_scandals_10_17_07.php
Oct-17-2007 07:15
Republican Sex Scandals Dwarf Those of Democrats
Perspective by Tim King Salem-News.com
The sexual antics of President Bill Clinton have been a dangerous tool in the Republican campaign arsenal, used to the fullest possible extent, but what have they been up to all these years?
(SALEM, Ore.) - "He who lives in a glass house should not throw stones." It seems that old adage may be lost on the confused mass that we call modern society. The Grand Old Party, once known for controversial abolitionists, has become the moral party of today, or so their elected leaders will tell you.
As we evolve as a nation, too many people seem to be clinging to ideologies that make little sense, fighting against a woman's right to abortion while demanding that schools not teach children sex education or instruct them in the deadly virus, AIDS. It creates a vicious circle when we fight ourselves, and deny education to those who need it most.
Our nation spent more tax money conducting Ken Starr's investigation of President Bill Clinton's affair with intern Monica Lewinsky, than they did in the investigation of the September 11th 2001 attacks on the United States. Many Americans fail to see the logic behind this.
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Then we ran into a problem with the idea of naming these scandals and their Republican perpetrators; there are so many they would hardly fit on the page. Using data from "Moral Values," these citations are otherwise attributed to the original agencies. Here is a partial list of names of serious problems related to GOP movers and shakers.
Randal David Ankeney is the Republican activist who was arrested on suspicion of sexual assault on a child with force. He was charged with six counts related to getting a 13-year-old girl stoned on pot and then having sex with her. Ankeny has also been accused of sexually assaulting another girl. Source: Denver ABC Article
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Bob Barr is the Republican Congressman from Georgia who sponsored the anti-gay Defense of Marriage Act, saying "The flames of hedonism, the flames of narcissism, the flames of self-centered morality are licking at the very foundation of our society, the family unit." He was married three times, and paid for his second wife's abortion (she also suspected he was cheating on her). he failed to pay child support to the children of his first two wives and while married to his third and present wife and was photographed licking whipped cream off of strippers at his inaugural party.
Parker J. Bena was a Republican activist and a key player in the campaign to elect George W. Bush as President. Bena was charged and later pleaded guilty to possession of child pornography and lying to the FBI. Bena reportedly told the feds that he had received an unsolicited e-mail containing pictures of children (some as young as three years old) performing various sexual acts, but agents learned that he had in fact voluntarily entered a number of child pornography websites and downloaded the images himself. This is said to have involved acts with children as young as 3 years old, on his home computer. Parker J. Bena was sentenced to 30 months in federal prison and fined $18,000. Source: DemocracyUnderground.com
Louis Beres is a past chairman of the Christian Coalition of Oregon. Three of his family members accuse him of molesting them as children, when they were pre-teens. In an Editor and Publisher article, in August 2006, Beres confessed to the accusations facing him. The Portland Mercury
John Bolton, President George W. Bush's highly contested appointee ambassador to United Nations is suspected of forcing his former wife to be involved in unsavory group sex acts. Corroborated allegations that Mr. Bolton's first wife, Christina Bolton, was forced to engage in group sex have not been refuted by the State Department despite inquires posed by Hustler magazine publisher Larry Flynt concerning the allegations. Mr. Flynt has obtained information from numerous sources that Mr. Bolton participated in paid visits to Plato's Retreat, the popular swingers club that operated in New York City in the late 1970s and early 1980s.
Jim Bunn Congressman of Oregon: Many attribute the success Jim Bunn experienced in great part to support from the Christian Coalition. Congressman Jim Bunn won his congressional seat, and then sources say that he immediately ditched his wife, the mother of his five children, and married a staffer. Jim Bunn is said to have put his new wife on the state payroll for the unheard-of salary of $97,500, thereby becoming one of the biggest waste and spend conservatives from the state of Oregon. Source: Conservative Babylon
President of the United States George W. Bush, was accused in a criminal complaint and lawsuit of raping Margie Schoedinger, who later died in a questionable case of suicide. Bush was also accused by Tammy Phillips, a former stripper, who was quoted in the National Enquirer in 2000 saying she had an affair with Bush that had ended in 1999. Another serious question involves statements from the wife of Red Blount, whom Bush campaigned for, while possibly A.W.O.L from the Air National Guard at age 26. She stated that he was "all over their 14 year old daughter." Multiple Sources
Neil Bush, brother or G. W. Bush, in a March 2003 divorce deposition, admitted repeatedly having sex with strange women who just showed up at his room while on an Asian business trip. Overshadowing the sex scandal at the time was a business scandal. Neal Bush keeps a low profile and is not seen in public very often. He also has questionable ties to the security of the World Trade Towers in the September 11th 2001 attacks on the United States. Source: Washington Post article
Ken Calvert, Congressman (R-California), has been called the champion of the Christian Coalition and its "family values." But in reality, Ken Calvert was sued as an alimony "deadbeat dad" by his ex-wife who said, "We can't forgive what occurred between the President and Lewinsky." In 1993, Calvert was caught by police officers receiving oral sex from a prostitute. He attempted to flee the scene but apparently couldn't move fast enough to get away from police, and was arrested.
Helen Chenoweth, Congresswoman (R-Id.). In 1995, Chenoweth had denied having an affair when asked about it by The Spokane Spokesman-Review. In 1998 she called (in a campaign ad) for Bill Clinton's resignation saying, "I believe that personal conduct and integrity do matter". Days later she admitted to a six-year adulterous affair with a married associate, but now she claims a pardon from a higher authority: "I've asked for God's forgiveness, and I've received it," she revealed.
Mark Foley, Republican Representative, Florida Sixteenth Congressional District. Resigned after trying to solicit sex from male congressional pages via an instant messenger program. The conversations included his asking a sixteen-year-old "stud" whether his penis was erect and requesting that he take out and measure his penis. The cover-up involved Republican House Majority Leader John Boehner, Ohio Eighth Congressional District and Republican House Speaker Dennis Hastert, Illinois Fourteenth District.
Newt Gingrich, well established crusader against legislation that assists women and the poor, has married three times while spouting Christian values the entire time. Newt Gingrich's campaign worker Anne Manning, admitted that she gave Newt oral sex while he was still married to his first wife, essentially placing Newt in the exact same position President Clinton had to endure when Gingrich and his cronies maintained their pressure over the Lewinski incident. Gingrish informed one wife he was filing for divorce while she was in the hospital recovering from cancer treatments. Salon article
Philip Giordano, the former Republican mayor of Waterbury, Connecticut was sentenced by a state court to serve 37 years for forcing two little girls to perform acts of oral sex on him in his Waterbury City Hall office. While investigating municipal corruption, the FBI discovered phone records and pictures of Giordano with a prostitute named Guitana Jones, as well as with her 10-year-old niece and her 8-year-old daughter. 37-years is a very long prison sentence, many said at the time that it still wasn't enough. Source: NBC Article/Newsday Article
Rudy Giuliani, New York Mayor and Republican Presidential Candidate, is reported as having had an adulterous affair that failed to stay out of the public light. Groups also cite Giuliani for pocketing an $80,000 fee for speaking at a charity benefit for tsunami aid which raised only $60,000 for the victims themselves. Critics of Giuliani say there will be more revelations about his character and past as his presidential aspirations gain momentum.
Matthew Glavin, president and CEO of the Southeastern Legal Foundation, was a big player in the Clinton Impeachment proceedings, and he has spearheaded a good number of anti-homosexual jihads. He has been arrested multiple times for public indecency, sources report, one time it was for fondling the crotch of the police officer who was arresting him at a national park. Opponents say his actions were treated "with kid gloves" and therefore inadequate.
Neal Horsley is a political figure of the far right, and the author of a website devoted to his advocacy of militant pro-life, secessionist, and anti-gay views. He has called for the arrest of all homosexuals. He admitted on the Fox News Radio's The Alan Colmes Show, that he's had sex with mules. He put photographs on his Web site of naked men engaging in homosexual acts and a nude woman engaging in bestiality amid shots of grotesquely maimed fetuses. Drug dealer convicted of possession of hashish with intent to sell. He calls for "the establishment of a new government, one that can obey God's plan for government."
Lewis "Scooter" Libby is the former Assistant to the President and Chief of Staff to Vice President Dick Cheney who was convicted but recently exempted from having to serve his sentence by the President. In 1996, "Scooter" Libby published a novel containing bizarre sexual content, including bestiality and pedophilia. Other high level White House officials were said to have been involved in the book that Libby published.
Rush Limbaugh is the infamous talk show pundit and advocate of moral values who has been divorced three times. A staunch anti-drug crusader, Limbaugh is in reality, a 30-pill a day drug addict. He also takes questionable trips to locations where many western men travel to buy sex under shady circumstances. It was a return from one of those possibly sordid journeys when one of his drug arrests occurred. Limbaugh was returning from the Dominican Republic. The Rush Limbaugh sex tourism story could seriously lead to his downfall if any of the allegations were founded. "Turnabout is most certainly fair play," is how one news agency worded it. Then there is the report of Rush’s use of Viagra while he was single. Sources: correntewire.com/The Smoking Gun.com
Jeff Miller, (R-Cleveland), Senate Republican Caucus Chairman in Tennessee and the sponsor of Tennessee’s Marriage Protection act. He was divorced in April 2005 because of an affair he was having with an office aid. Miller described the Tennessee Marriage Protection Act as a means of preserving the sanctity of marriage. He opposed an amendment, however, which stated that “Adultery is deemed to be a threat to the institution of marriage and contrary to public policy in Tennessee.”
Joseph M. McDade, 75, was issued a summons on a charge of exposure of his sexual organs, a misdemeanor that carries up to a year in jail and a $1,000 fine. The longtime Pennsylvania Republican congressman who served for 36 years in the House and now works for a Washington lobbying firm, has been accused of exposing his private parts to two women at a beach resort on Sanibel Island. Source: DKOS diary
Bill O'Reilly is the highly controversial right-wing conservative talk show host on Fox News known for the "O'Reilly factor" and the "no spin zone." O'Reilly is highly contested over his ability to polarize people along political lines. Bill O'Reilly has been sued for sexual harassment by his producer. The female Fox News producer named Andrea Mackris filed a lawsuit claiming that he subjected her to repeated instances of sexual harassment and spoke often, and explicitly, to her about phone sex, vibrators, threesomes, masturbation, the loss of his virginity, and sexual fantasies. He settled with the producer for an undisclosed amount of money.
Senator Bob Packwood, (R-Ore.) resigned in 1995 under a threat of public senate hearings related to 10 female ex-staffers accusing him of sexual harassment. A pro-choice Republican who often rallied for women's rights, Packwood let down generations of supporters, and is a good example of the complexity of human nature, since he supported legislation to protect women’s rights during his 25 years in office while simultaneously making unwanted sexual advances toward many different women. In the end, 19 women testified to outrageous behavior which was mostly carried out when Packwood was drunk. The most damaging was the charge of a former staff woman who was only 17 years old at the time. Packwood might still have survived the challenge had he responded with his former talent for compromise, but he was defiant and confrontational, trying to bully his way through the situation and alienating even his friends, it is reported.
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Joe Scarborough, former Republican Congressman, is currently a conservative talk show host. He resigned his congressional seat abruptly to spend more time with his family, amidst allegations of an affair. His intern, Lori Klausutis, was soon after found dead in his office. The medical examiner, who had his license revoked in Missouri for falsifying information in an autopsy report, and suspended in Florida for six years, ruled the case an accident, after giving conflicting information about her injuries. He said he lied about them because "The last thing we wanted was 40 questions about a head injury."
Ed Schrock was a two-term Republican Congressman, with a 92% approval rating from the Christian Coalition. Co-sponsor of the Federal Marriage Amendment, consistently opposed gay rights. Married, with wife and kids, he withdrew his candidacy for a third term after tapes of him soliciting gay sex were circulated. The Virginia Pilot reported in October 2000 that Schrock favored ending the Clinton administration's "don't ask, don't tell" policy on gays in the military, BlogActive noted. "He supports asking enlistees whether they have had homosexual experiences in an effort to try to keep gays from serving. 'You're in the showers with them, you're in the bunk room with them, you're in staterooms with them,' Schrock said."
Dr. Laura Schlessinger, right wing conservative radio host, is known for promoting family values. She is estranged from her mother, opposes birth control, has had her tubes tied. She espouses saving oneself for marriage, and admits to having had sex before she was married. She opposes adultery, but has committed adultery while she was married, and has slept with a married man. She opposes divorce, but she is divorced and remarried, and has posed for nude photos which are available online.
Arnold Schwarzenegger, the hit Hollywood movie actor turned politician and California Republican governor, has admitted during a Oui interview, having sex with a 16-year old when he was 28. Today men who commit similar acts in Oregon are branded sex offenders and placed in correctional facilities. At the time of the Oui story, Schwarzenegger, then 29, was appearing in "Pumping Iron," a documentary on the bodybuilding circuit. In the Q&A with Manso from Oui Magazine, today's California Governor spoke about his sex life then, his drug usage, and his belief that men "shouldn't feel like fags just because they want to have nice-looking bodies." Source: Oui
Jean Schmidt is a Republican legislator from Ohio. Though not herself implicated, she employed a campaign manager named Joe Brauns in her 2005 election who once wrote an article condemning gay men for running sex ad profiles, and who was then accused of running his own sex profile on Collarme, an S&M sex site. The profile called for "submissives" to wear only a collar and handcuffs and to have hot wax dripped on them. Source: DKOS Diary
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Randall Terry, Right to Life activist, founder of Operation Rescue, was involved in the Terri Schiavo protests. He was once imprisoned for sending former President Bill Clinton an aborted fetus. His son Jamiel is gay; his daughter Tila had sex outside of marriage, became pregnant, had a miscarriage - she is no longer welcome in his home; his daughter Ebony had 2 children outside of wedlock and became Muslim. He has campaigned against infidelity and birth control, gays and unwed mothers. Terry himself was censured by his church after committing adultery.
Strom Thurmond was an outspoken southern republican senator and racist. According to information revealed toward the end of his life, he had as a younger man raped and impregnanted a 15-year old African American maid. Throughout his adult life, as a politician and U.S. Senator, Thurmond quietly contributed to the family of the young African-American mother of his child. In contrast to, say, George "I Was Wrong" Wallace, Thurmond had always been an ornery redemption project. He did not repent. Even so, his illegitimate daughter further complicated the moral picture. Source: slate.com/BBC Article
Jim West, Spokane Mayor, supported a bill which failed, would have barred gays and lesbians from working in schools, day-care centers and some state agencies. He voted to bar the state from distributing pamphlets telling people how to protect themselves from AIDS. He proposed that “any touching of the sexual or other intimate parts of a person” among teens be criminalized. He ended up having a sexual affair with an 18-year old boy. Source: Spokesman review
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,288868,00.html
New Orleans' Madam Says Sen. David Vitter Used Her Brothel
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
NEW ORLEANS — New allegations tie Sen. David Vitter to a high-priced brothel in his hometown, one day after he publicly apologized for his connection to an alleged prostitution ring in Washington, D.C.
On Monday, Vitter acknowledged being involved with the so-called D.C. Madam. A day later, new revelations linked him to a former madam in New Orleans and old allegations that he frequented a former prostitute resurfaced, further clouding his political future.
Jeanette Maier on Tuesday said Vitter was once a client of the Canal Street brothel. She pleaded guilty to running the operation in 2002. Vitter won his seat in the U.S. Senate in 2004.
Saying he was a "decent guy" who appeared to be in need of company when he visited the brothel, Maier added unexpected details to a scandal enveloping the first-term Republican.
"As far as the girls coming out after seeing David, all they had was nice things to say. It wasn't all about sex. In fact, he just wanted to have somebody listen to him, you know. And I said his wife must not be listening," Maier said in an interview with The Associated Press.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/04/28/AR2006042802345.html
Prostitution Alleged In Cunningham Case
Investigators Focus on Limo Company
By Jo Becker and Charles R. Babcock
Washington Post Staff Writers
Saturday, April 29, 2006; Page A01
Federal authorities are investigating allegations that a California defense contractor arranged for a Washington area limousine company to provide prostitutes to convicted former congressman Randy "Duke" Cunningham (R-Calif.) and possibly other lawmakers, sources familiar with the probe said yesterday.
In recent weeks, investigators have focused on possible dealings between Christopher D. Baker, president of Shirlington Limousine and Transportation Inc., and Brent R. Wilkes, a San Diego businessman who is under investigation for bribing Cunningham in return for millions of dollars in federal contracts, said one source, who requested anonymity because the investigation is ongoing.
Baker has a criminal record and has experienced financial difficulties, public records show. Last fall, his company was awarded a $21 million contract with the Department of Homeland Security to provide transportation, including limo service for senior officials. Baker and his lawyer declined to comment yesterday.
The Cunningham investigation's latest twist came after Mitchell J. Wade, a defense contractor who has admitted bribing the former congressman, told prosecutors that Wilkes had an arrangement with Shirlington Limousine, which in turn had an arrangement with at least one escort service, one source said. Wade said limos would pick up Cunningham and a prostitute and bring them to suites Wilkes maintained at the Watergate Hotel and the Westin Grand in Washington, the source said.
Sincerely,
The GOP
(This Statement Of Outrage Underwritten By Gannon/Guckert Enterprises. At Gannon/Guckert, We Say "If You Can't Get A Real Reporter Or A Real Marine Or A Real Cowboy, Just Hire Your Fantasy!")
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