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texshelters Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-08-08 01:57 AM
Original message
Invade Venezuela Now!
Colombia Supports America, Invades Ecuador!

Dear Patriots,

What we have to do is mention a few conservative talking points to you before things get out of hand in South America.

Now remember, America means the United States, even though countries from Canada and Argentina and everywhere in between are in America. It's because America, which means the United States, runs the whole shootin' match and keeps it safe.

That is why America and the United States is the same thing to most of the world. Even the other America (non-U.S. America), agrees.

As we know, the Colombian guerilla group FARC, is an arm of the drug traffickers. How do we know this? We know this because the Clinton and Bush administrations tell us so.

You see, the FARC aren't our friends, unlike Manuel Noriega, the Contras in Nicaragua, or the Afghanistan government, among others. Our friends don't sell drugs!

In the 80s, the American people were not informed the way we wanted about Colombia. They actually thought the innocent government was corrupt, 76 percent in fact. That was a lie!

Then in 1991, Colombia paid over $3.1 million on an advertising campaign aimed at changing their perception of their nation in Washington, DC. Thus was born the multi-billion dollar Plan Colombia.

The Plan Colombia is a grant of United States helicopters, guns, and other technology that help the government go after the FARC and ELN (the nation's second largest terrorist, I mean guerrilla force). It also keeps the unions down and supports Colombia as the leader in union membership murders. Sounds like a great place to work.

Arizona, where I winter and have a prison labor factory, is a right to work state, which means those pesky unions are keep down and wages remain low. This keeps America strong!

The Plan Colombia funded communications technology used to find and kill the FARC's No. 2 leader and spokesman, Raul Reyes in a gun battle. The problem for the world communist cabal is the killing took place inside the so-called "sovereign" nation of Ecuador. How sovereign can they be when we really run things?

The President of Ecuador complained about the incursion into his land by Colombian forces. What a wimp! They were just doing him a favor by bombing his country!

There was also evidence found on the dead communist Raul Reyes that the FARC had received $300 million in support from the evil elected dictator of Venezuela, Hugo Chavez. This money means we can now invade Venezuela because they are supporting terrorism. Yes!

Greg Palast disputes the truth of what we made up and sold to the press. "Unlike Uribe (President of Colombia), Bush and the US press, I won't guess or make up a phastasmogoric story about Chavez mailing checks to the jungle." From gregpalast.com http://www.gregpalast.com/300-million-from-chavez-to-fa... /

It was only Ecuador being invaded for Christ's sake! Why does Raphael Correa, Ecuador's new President, go on whining about Colombia bombing them and sending troops over the border in an interview with Palast? It's either because he hates freedom, or the liberal Greg Palast made him do it with his reporting wiles.

Bomb Bomb Bomb, Bomb Bomb Hugo! Has Bush gone soft. The Marines should be in Venezuela today!!

Oh yeah, the troops are stuck in another noble quagmire of epic proportions in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Soon, soon Senior Chavez! If not today, then tomorrow, and for the rest of your life!

Yours,
Tex Shelters
myspace.com/texshelters
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provis99 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-08-08 02:05 AM
Response to Original message
1. the scary thing is,
While the OP is obviously satirical here, you could post the exact same thing in Freeperville and be hailed as a hero...
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Swamp Rat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-08-08 02:05 AM
Response to Original message
2. Why do you hate America?

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Ken Burch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-08-08 02:12 AM
Response to Original message
3. If Venezuela doesn't get a Pinochet, the terrorists win!
We have to destroy 'em to save em'!

The boys'll be home by Christmas!

Nail that coonskin to the wall!

:sarcasm:

Did I leave anything out?
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texshelters Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-08-08 06:25 PM
Response to Reply #3
5. One thing
Having a Pinochet would be better for EVERYONE in Venezuela! Only fascism will solve that countries problems.

Tex

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Peace Patriot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-08-08 04:09 AM
Response to Original message
4. Yeah, and, um, that communist, dictator, tyrant, president-for-life, Rafael Correa,
(name like Correa, you don't know, could be NORTH Correa) is a lying communist dictator tyrant president-for-life for saying it WASN'T a "gun battle." The tersts were all ASLEEP. Some of them were shot in the back, as they ran around in the camp in their pajames and no shoes trying not to die. And our bus boy lied to him, he said, told him it was "hot pursuit." Well, how can you trust a friend of that lying communist dictator tyrant president-for-life scumbag Hugo Chavez who called our Dear Leader "the Devil"? Anybody'd be friends with "Hugo" would say anything to make our bendable little gummy doll look wrong.

And anyway people who vote for commie dictators don't have any right to build schools with our oil profits. Who do they think they are? Now we got two commie dictators down there sitting on the biggest oil reserves in the western hemisphere, and lying about jungle commies that they were asleep! Give me a break. Commies never sleep. They're all drugged out zomboids up all night thinkin how can they can slit Dear Leader's throat and steal his blond daughters and outfox Jack Bauer. You know Jack? The guy that shoots commies in the back and asks questions later. Put that patriot on getting our oil out of the hands of the brown menace, and you'll see some action on it. Cut out all this pussyfootin around. Go get it! Save the blonds! Get the oil!


-----------------

"The Smart Way to Beat Tyrants Like Chvez," by Donald Rumsfeld, 12/1/07
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/20...
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texshelters Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-08-08 06:28 PM
Response to Reply #4
6. Priceless
At least we have Uribe in Colombia protecting the oil fields and killing communist union leaders and workers for us!

Tex
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Peace Patriot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-08-08 06:59 PM
Response to Reply #6
9. Thanks! That kinda came outa nowhere. I'm usually quite a serious person.
Been feeding too much at www.BoRev.net . Hilarious site (--AND informative).
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Truth2Tell Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-08-08 07:16 PM
Response to Reply #9
11. Been lovin' BoRev lately myself. Very well written. nt
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sicksicksick_N_tired Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-08-08 06:29 PM
Response to Original message
7. I have an idea!!! Why don't we INVADE OUR OWN NATION!!!
We have no control over it and our "leaders" have exerted every possible means of asserting control over us.

Why don't we,...just,...invade our own nation, FIRST? :shrug:
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Peace Patriot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-08-08 06:54 PM
Response to Reply #7
8. Cuz they have weapons that can fry our insides?
Anyway, they have invaded. Hadn't you noticed? We are experiencing a fascist coup.

Kinda clever one. Designed just for us (the greatest potential progressive force on earth--the American people--if we ever have transparent vote counting again). (--consider our "robber baron" trust-busting, labor organizing past; we could break some global corporate predator balls, if we ever get our country back).

And then there's Saudi Arabia and China, who own us. Fuckers SOLD us to the two most regressive regimes on planet earth! They don't need to kill us, just slowly bleed the lifeblood out of our economy.

I do think we're going to win, eventually. Democracy is very hard to kill, once people have tasted it. But it's going to take time, and hard work by citizen activists. We have to learn to think beyond the next election, to the fundamentals of democracy, like counting the votes in the public venue.
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0007 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Mar-08-08 07:09 PM
Response to Original message
10. You should read very carefully, Greg Plast's book, Armed Madhouse
Of course you must keep an open mind. But's that impossible when you want the US to bomb Venezuela and inject the Marines. Shame on you!!

Armed Madhouse will enlighten you if you take heart and read it!

OTH, you sound like Glenn Beck.
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Karenina Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-09-08 07:27 AM
Response to Reply #10
12. Sarcasm impaired, are we???
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KG Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Mar-09-08 07:33 AM
Response to Original message
13. Senior Chavez? is there a Junior Chavez?
:)
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texshelters Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Mar-10-08 02:09 PM
Response to Reply #13
14. All Democrats have
a Junior Chavez in them.

Tex
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