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I think this basic statement is true, and can be elaborated on and extended to other things, as people on this thread have done. Not only is a constant fixation on only your own happiness a corrupting, immoral influence, but I think even the corporate media version of "self-esteem" is a horrible perversion of natural self-worth and liking yourself, etc., and turning it all to an excuse for the most selfish and obnoxious treatment of others. I also think it all goes along with the increasing (until it drives you insane) loud, fast, vulgar commercialization of our whole society--advertising of course, culture/entertainment/public debate, city planning, etc. I think a lot of these things are related. (I also agree with people on this thread that there is a difference between the annoying insistence on being "happy" all the time, and a desire to escape painful depression, etc., and I support the use of prescription drugs to help with these conditions--many of them, after all, can be brought under control with medications.)
I think it helps to lose, to be criticized, to have things not go your way; sometimes this is the only way you would ever detach yourself from the situation, and think. Sometimes you will not face a fault or wrong opinion of yours, until you absolutely have to, painfully, because you were publicly smacked down by somebody else, rejected, exposed as a hypocrite, or something else unpleasant. You can't just go through life winning and being happy--it isn't possible, and even if you seemed to be doing it, your own personality has probably become very arrogant and abusive. There was a statement from the great anthropologist Margaret Mead, that the worst thing that could happen to a child who has abused an animal, is to get away with it, because then that makes it seem as if it is nothing, nobody cares, it is actually all right. You have to suffer a punishment, and be stopped. On a different note but also about criticism, there was a quote from Benjamin Franklin, that I think was on a tag line of a DU poster's messages, something like, Thank you for your criticism, for you have shown me my faults.
What is more insufferable than a brat who was allowed to win, to get away with it, to be excused, for everything they do? Many, many studies have shown that the worst woman-beaters, murderers, abusers, stalkers, etc., have had a background of always being excused for everything they do, always being catered to, never being allowed to suffer any "unhappy" consequences, until they eventually become monsters for it. A life where you only win, where eveyine else is unhappy, never you, where you have to be made happy at everyone else's expense, no matter what, because it was the only important thing, is a living hell for others. It is only selfishness and oppression.
On the other hand, a higher thought is that we all have to learn to live in the world and adjust to each other, trying to invent a society that allows all to exist, as much as possible, and to have an egalitarian society where all have rights, all must also be stopped from encroaching on others, as much as possible. You can't just win. I think it was Mia Farrow--who has become such a brilliant advocate for the victims of Darfur, very powerful--who wrote once, that the second half of life is learning how to lose, and eventually losing everything. You had better learn how to compromise, to lose, to be replaced, at some point during your life, or you will have a horrific time of it, when it really starts to come.
People who are only concerned about their own happiness also have no bounds to the logic of their selfishness. Them not having a new wardrobe, another new car, electronic toys, etc., is on the same level as poor people who can never afford to go to a dentist, because, after all, "they are all equally unhappy. I suffer just as much as they do." There is no sympathy for others, if they only barely exist for me.
I agree that sadness is a great teacher, and oddly, sometimes gets rid of anxiety, if you just stop running away, accept it, let it and the problem be there, and realize how much good you have going on in life, not to punish yourself with, but to calm down and ignore things with. If you can accept the sadness of life, etc., you can sink to the deeper levels and know them--the only threat is having it turn to depression and hopelessness. I believe this society will not be anything great again, until we can get rid of the "violent/abusive/vulgar/loud" corporate highjacking of all our public life, and make it safe for introverted people and others who don't want to be assaulted and offended every God damned day, to come out of hiding and run it again.
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