Hilarious satire on Bush MUST READ!!! (Received in an email)

[Infinite Hope]

The George W Bush Presidential Library is now in the planning stages. You’ll want to be the first at your corporation to make a contribution to this great man’s legacy.

The Library will include:

* The Hurricane Katrina Room, which is still under construction.
* The Alberto Gonzales Room, where you can't remember anything.
* The Texas Air National Guard Room, where you don't have to even show up.
* The Walter Reed Hospital Room, where they don't let you in.
* The Guantanamo Bay Room, where they don't let you out.
* The Weapons of Mass Destruction Room (Which no one has been able to find).
* The Iraq War Room. After you complete your first tour, they make you to go back for second, third, fourth, and sometimes fifth tours.
* The Dick Cheney Room, in the famous undisclosed location, complete with shooting gallery.
* Plans also include: The K-Street Project Gift Shop - Where you can buy (or just steal) an election.
* The Airport Men's Room, where you can meet some of your favorite Republican Senators.
* Last, but not least, there will be an entire floor devoted to a 7/8 scale model of the President's ego.
* To highlight the President’s accomplishments, the museum will have an electron microscope to help you locate them.


When asked, President Bush said that he didn't care so much about the individual exhibits as long as his museum was better than his father's.

[hisownpetard]

1. Sure, a Cheney room with a shooting gallery. But does it come with friends?

If not, who's he gonna shoot, so they can then apologize to HIM.
Jeez, that's half the fun!

[Oeditpus Rex]

2. They covered that

[hisownpetard]

3. Yes, but how many 'friends' does he get to take into the gallery (and does it

matter how many come out?).

[myrna minx]

4. "Two men enter, one man leaves."

Welcome to Dick Cheney's Thunderdome room, complete with a man sized safe. :rofl:

[Infinite Hope]

10. Just seeing that facial expression makes me wonder the context of the picture n/t

[insanad]

8. Bush Resume

Subject: Job needed 01/09


This person needs a job. This individual seeks an executive position. He will be available in January 2009, and is willing to relocate.


RESUME

GEORGE W. BUSH

1600 Pennsylvania Avenue

Washington, DC 20520

Political Afilliation: Dedicated Republican

EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:

Law Enforcement:
I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for driving under the influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been "lost" and is not available.

Military:
I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam.

College:
I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. I was a cheerleader.

PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:

I ran for U.S. Congress and lost.

I began my career in the oil business in Midland Texas , in 1975. I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas. The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.

I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money.

With the help of my father and our friends in the oil industry (including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected governor of Texas.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS:

I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, making Texas the most polluted state in the Union. During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America.

I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions in borrowed money.

I set the record for the most executions by any governor in American history.

With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida , and my father's appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President of the United States, after losing by over 500,000 votes.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:

I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal record.

I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one billion dollars per week.

I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury.

I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history.

I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period.

I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.

I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the U.S. stock market. In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans lost their jobs and that trend continues.

I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in U.S. history. My "poorest millionaire," Condoleezza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her.

I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips by a U.S. President.

I am the all-time U.S. and world record -holder for receiving the most corporate campaign donations.

My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S. history, Enron.

My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my election decision.

I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against investigation or prosecution. More time and money was spent investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has been spent investigating one of the biggest corporate rip-offs in history. I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused to intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed.

I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history.

I changed the U.S. policy to allow convict ed criminals to be awarded government contracts.

I appointed more convicted criminals to my administration than any President in U.S. history.

I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy in the history of the United States Government.

I've broken more international treaties than any President in U.S. history.

I am the first President in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission.

I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law.

I refused to allow inspector's access to U.S. "prisoners of war" detainees and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention.

I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 US election).

I set the record for fewest numbers of press conferences of any President since the advent of television.

I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-year period. After taking off the entire month of August, I presided over the worst security failure in U.S. history.

I garnered the most sympathy ever for the U.S. after the World Trade Center attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. the most hated country in the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in world history.

I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people), shattering the record for protests against any person in the history of mankind.

I am the first President in U.S. history to order an unprovoked, pre-emptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation. I did so against the will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S. Citizens and the world community.

I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty benefits for active duty troops and their families in wartime.

In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for attacking Iraq and then blamed the lies on our British friends.

I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security.

I am supporting development of a nuclear "Tactical Bunker Buster," a WMD.

I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden to justice.

RECORDS AND REFERENCES:

Dedicated Republican.

All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father's library, sealed and unavailable for public view.

All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.

All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President, attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review. I specified that my sealed documents will not be available for 50 years.

___________________________________________________________

"Of course the people don't want war. But after all, it's the leaders of the country who determine the policy, and it's always a simple matter to drag the people along whether it's a democracy, a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism, and exposing the country to greater danger."

-- Herman Goering at the Nuremberg trials

[ProfessorGAC]

14. So?

OK, i admit it. I'm channeling a 28%er.
The Professor

[BrotherBuzz]

15. OK 28%er, I'll splain it so you can understand: the idiot traded Sammy Sosa

;)

[ProfessorGAC]

16. Very Good

Now i'm mad! Oh wait. I'm from Chicago. I guess that's ok, too.
The Professor

[Fresh_Start]

5. enjoyed that, thanks for sharing nt

nt

[insanad]

6. George W. Bush Prezudenchul Lie-Bury

Calling for any and all posts with information and documentation of George W. Bush's numerous lies to be sorted and chronicled in his upcoming LIE-BURY.

I'm inept with any kind of html or creating a website but am hoping to toss this idea out there for those with the talent and skill.

Something I've been ruminating in my head is the series of lies and cover ups that have defined this Bush Administration. From the very start, even before he was elected his employment, military, and other factors in the supposed "making of" this cretin have been uncovered as a series of lies. If I were so inclined I suppose I could do a tree chart of the lies that led to other lies, and so on.

What I'd love to see is a parody of this done on the net that is designed in the form of the "Prezudenchul Lie-Bury", where as one enters they are assaulted with various little bats and gnats of his famous verbal blunders and on the floors and walls are piles of rubbish, with vermin and other stinking trash oozing out. As one clicks on these piles they are led to a tree chart style list or clips that track the lies from start to present and how they involve much more than just the initial lie. The Lie-Bury could have infectious rodents and vile vermin scurrying around behind and through things with the faces of Carl Rove, Dick Cheney, and other contributors menacing around. There could be a children's section with a Dick Cheney Puppet Show, where he's making several of the Bush Admin. puppets do his bidding. The Gee Duh-bya puppet could be a monkey clapping cymbals or something, or one of those inane paper puppets that just moves the lower jaw up and down.

There could be a Punch and Judy show with Fox TV commentators getting into fights all the time, screeching in falsetto voices and smacking each other with plastic axes. Condy Rice could be the tour guide working furiously to try to steer the visitors away from the more damning stuff but in the end, just looking like a stool pigeon. At the end of the maze could be a gift & snack shop where you could buy various lies to wear or eat, and some alkaseltzer to go with them or a wet-nap to clean oneself with after the experience. The entire structure could be made to look like a house of cards and when one selects a card, the whole thing comes crumbling down. I don't have the technical skills but would like to see someone put something together to do justice to George W. Bush. It may need whole new wings given that he has 16 more months to lie, cheat, steal, and murder his way to Hell.

It's easy to see George W. Bush as a world class moron with his frequent Gaffes and absolutely foolish perspectives, but after reading some of the expos-e's by Molly Ivins and others I'm inclined to believe that George W. Bush is the perfect stoolie for Dick Cheney, Carl Rove, the Republican Party and the Corporate Crooks that own them. They seemed to know that it would only take a terrorist attack and the loss of a "Mere 3,000" people to get the congress to approve their diabolical plan to invade Iraq, arrange the contracts and bids for War Profiteering that Haliburton and other companies have benefited from, control the oil distribution in Iraq, and the numerous environmental rape and tax cut bills that have put millions in their pockets. It's the American people who are dumb in allowing this man to come to power, to remain, and to not pay for the many offenses he and his administration have committed. Perhaps we all need to take a National I.Q. test to see what possible retardation or brain damage could lead us to let such a monster come to power. If we can understand the problem, perhaps we can work on a treatment.

[Infinite Hope]

11. You should posted this as its own thread. It'd get far more responses. n/t

[Danascot]

7. Next to the Airport Men's Room

will be the Jeff Gannon guest bedroom with a wax figure of Gannon on the bed in the unforgettable pose from his male escort website.

(It's not gay, it's Republikkin'.)

[Infinite Hope]

12. I don't recall that pose. Do you have a pic? n/t

[Danascot]

13. Just do a Google image search for Jeff Gannon

If you must. Don't say I didn't warn you.

[gamblingisforlosers]

17. Not that there's anything wrong with that! n/t

[malaise]

9. That's brilliant

I believe!!

[OPERATIONMINDCRIME]

18. LMAO! Loved It!

[begin_within]

19. The total cost is estimated at

$1 brazilian

[Swamp Rat]

20. I will donate this to the Pretzeldenshul Portrait Gallery:

:)