What would you title your Bush biography?

[lame54]

mine would be titled:

"Hey, it's dark in here." - The head up the ass presidency of George W. Bush

[lumberjack_jeff]

1. "Undeserved"

Tip of the hat to Molly Ivins.

[MrScorpio]

2. An Assclown's Rise To Infamy

The President George W. Bush Fiasco

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

3. Total Disaster n/t

[Buzz Clik]

4. Pretzels and the Segway to Mountain Bikes: I Don't Need Wheels to Fall Flat on My Face

[Solly Mack]

5. America's Little Tramp

[Xipe Totec]

6. My Pet Monkey nt

[helderheid]

7. "Bush and Dick - How They Fucked America"

[hobbit709]

8. Utter and Complete Disaster

aka Total Clusterf*ck

[Tierra_y_Libertad]

9. "A Dummy's Personal Guide to the Presidency"

[Vanje]

10. Banana-fest Destiny

[Fridays Child]

11. American Avarice

eom

[boston bean]

12. In the Bush, How America Got So Schairy

[Perry Logan]

13. "An Idiot's Guide to the Presidency"

[BringEmOn]

14. "How Unka Dick Destroyed America......And, I Helped"

[Ezlivin]

15. Tortured Language & Tortured Citizens

N/T

[Ezlivin]

27. The Rise and Fall of the Fourth Reich

N/T

[Oeditpus Rex]

16. I'd make it a combined bio

Fat, Drunk
and Stupid



How John 'Bluto' Blutarsky
and George Walker Bush
made an ass of
Dean Vernon Wormer

[symbolman]

17. "Oops! I Did It Again!" (invaded another country.. Shit all over the Constitution, take your pick..)

Ala Britney Spears..

[jgraz]

18. What. The. Fuck?

[aint_no_life_nowhere]

19. "He came, he saw, he fucked it up"

or an alternate title "The MerdeAss Touch"

[hobbit709]

Thats "Veni, vidi, futui"

[XemaSab]

20. "Chimps in the Fog."

:o

[Initech]

21. America The Fucked: The 8 Year Reign Of Terror Of George Walker Bush

[BringEmOn]

22. "I Put the Peter In the Peter Principle"

[tularetom]

23. Mommy's Little Cowboy

George W Bush's Oedipal Presidency

[applegrove]

24. This Is Not America

[IDemo]

25. Tuesdays with Cheetah

[emmadoggy]

26. I can't decide between..

"The End of the World as We Know it"

OR

"Catastrophuck! Eight Years in Hell with the Bush Administration"

Or, how about simply,

"Evil Incarnate and Dumb as a Rock"

[Ezlivin]

28. Video Meliora Proboque Deteriora Sequor

I see and approve of the better things, but I follow the inferior things

[Ezlivin]

31. Stercus Accidit

Shit Happens

[alfredo]

29. Cover art

[smokey nj]

46. Delete - posted in wrong spot.

[krispos42]

90. More cover art

:rofl:

[alfredo]

99. That's for the European edition.

[aint_no_life_nowhere]

30. "Monkey Saw - Monkey Could Not Do"

[CBHagman]

91. Oh, I think I like that one best.

I saw that title and let out a screech of laughter that probably woke any babies in the neighborhood.

:rofl:

[Bitwit1234]

32. Rove got the wrong name I'm the TURD

[ThatsMyBarack]

33. And Now, Back to American Idol!

:nuke:

[SpiralHawk]

34. "How to - SMIRK - Fake it." - By Commander AWOL

[JoePhilly]

35. Incurious George goes to Washington (plot inside .. )

In this one, George goes to Washington with the Man in the Yellow hat (Dick Cheney), and accidentally becomes President. Like always, George runs around breaking the dishes, and starting unnecessary wars in far off lands. Soon, everyone is mad at George. In the end, the Man in the Yellow hat takes George to a nice ranch in Texas.

[vireo]

36. "Dumb like me"

[pinto]

37. Out of Print.

[JoePhilly]

38. No Exit Plan

[in_cog_ni_to]

39. "A 12 step program of how to destroy a country in 8 short years."

"It's so easy, even I could do it."

[DemGa]

40. Portrait of a sociopath: the false Presidency of George Bush

[WillyT]

41. Screwn !!!

:evilgrin:

[Bucky]

42. Interregnum: The Years Democracy Didn't Count

Hopefully there won't be a sequel.

[BlueIris]

84. Pete, that's brilliant—I'm stealing that.

I mean, er, I'm borrowing it. Thanks!

[DCKit]

43. "Stealing Home and Everything Else"

Also:

"Sweet Sixteen FOREVER"
"Coke Whore in the House"
"Who's your Mammy?"
"Beautifical Mind"
"Who's Waldo?"
"Mamma, Where's My Nucular Football?"
"Condi 'n Me" (G)
"Bad Daddy Dick" (XXX)
"What's a Muslim?
Seriously, I Need to Know Before I Invade Another Country"
"Fifty Ways to Torture and Kill Small Animals and Brown People"
"How to Steal an Election" (Rove press)
"The Scotch Diet"
"Arab Payday"
"Beat Me, Bite Me, Fuck Me Hard
and I'll Appoint you to the Supreme Court"
"What's a Brazillion?
I don't know, but it sounds like a good amount to spend"
"I Don't Remember"
"Butt Boys in High Places" (XXX)
"Coke AND Pepsi"
"Fuck Frequent Flier Miles
How to Get Unmeasurable Free Travel on the Gubmint Dime"

I could go on and on and on, but I'm looking forward to YOUR responses.

[leftist_not_liberal]

83. Stealing Home. You win.

Stealing Home
BY ROBERT BRYCE • THE TEXAS OBSERVER, MAY 9, 1997

eorge W. Bush loves baseball. And why not? After all, baseball has been very good to the governor. When it comes to power, the governor is a true triple-threat. Consider his record: (1) His initial baseball investment of $600,000 carries the current potential of a 2,500 percent return. (2) Through savvy P.R. and political maneuvering, he and his partners have persuaded a city and the state to directly subsidize a facility for their business. (3) Not content with taxpayer subsidies, he and his fellow owners have also successfully used the power of government to take land from other private citizens so it could be used for their own private purposes.

Yes, baseball has been very good to Bush. Moreover, the biggest deal Bush has ever done, the career-shaping transaction he boasted of on the campaign trail—the planning, funding and construction of the Texas Rangers’ Ballpark at Arlington—has been largely ignored by the national media as they rush to paint Bush’s presidential portrait.

Yet whether the public interest issue is taxes, size of government, property rights, or public subsidies of private sports ventures, Bush’s personal ownership interest in the Texas Rangers baseball team has been wildly at odds with his publicly declared positions on those issues. And ongoing litigation over the Ballpark deal has revealed documents showing that beginning in 1990, the Rangers management—which included Bush as a managing general partner—conspired to use the government’s power of eminent domain to further its private business interests.

Since he took to the stump three and a half years ago to run for governor, Bush has railed against "big government." On the very first day of his campaign, November 8, 1993, Bush told supporters in Houston, San Antonio, Austin, and Dallas that "the best way to allocate resources in our society is through the market place. Not through a governing elite, not through red tape and over-regulation, not through some central bureaucracy."

But through the Arlington stadium deal, Bush, who owns 1.8 percent of the Rangers, has been personally enriched by using the "governing elite" and the "central bureaucracy" not only to confiscate land for private purposes, but to get a huge public subsidy for a stadium that generates profits for himself and the Texas Rangers.
http://web.archive.org/web/20021012073910/http://www.mollyivins.com/showMisc.asp?FileName=970509_f1.htm

[rug]

44. Wasteland

[BlueIris]

45. "When Good Cokeheads Go Bad."

[piedmont]

47. "How to succeed in American politics without even trying"

Chapter 1: Be born to wealthy scumbags
Chapter 2: Run for office in a country full of unquestioning, under-educated voters (thanks, Dad!)

[smokey nj]

48. "I, Clusterfuck"

[Warren DeMontague]

49. Oooo, that's good.

:thumbsup:

[HCE SuiGeneris]

60. ...

:applause: Nom for DUzy

[saltpoint]

78. -- --

:toast:

[stirlingsliver]

50. "Runny, Projectile Diarrhea"

I would title it "Runny, Projectile Diarrhea".

Or maybe "Green Rancid Vomit".

[Sabriel]

51. "Asshole Shrugged"

Or, "The Fuckerhead"

(Ayn Rand seems appropriate here.)

Barring that:


"Pride and Prejudice"

(sorry, Jane)

[aint_no_life_nowhere]

52. "Destroyin' Stuff: from Frogs to Countries"

[Ravy]

53. The Agony, and the Agony. nt

[sutz12]

59. Better...."The Agony on Ecstacy" nt

[Inkyfuzzbottom]

54. Hugh Moran

.

[HughMoran]

95. I resemble that!

:rofl:

[Booster]

55. "The Dimson".

[Blackhatjack]

56. "I Stole 2 Elections, Became President, and Made a Billion Dollars. You Can Too!"

"The Inside story on you too can become President of the United States WITH NO MONEY DOWN, and make Billions of Dollars for you and your friends by looting the Public Treasury."

Order this book right now and you'll get for free the companion work, "What I Learned From Clearing Brush On My Ranch, and Why That Is All You Will Ever Need To Know...."

If you follow the instructions in this book and do not make $1 million dollars(NOT EUROS) for yourself and your friends in the first 30 days, return it for a full refund...(all returned items must be sent postage prepaid addressed to the new Bush ranch in Paraguay).

[David Zephyr]

57. American Psychopath.

That is the most appropriate title.

[HCE SuiGeneris]

58. My Adventure Into Sadism: How To Wreak Havoc On The Masses

[leftofthedial]

61. Shitstain

[progressivebydesign]

62. The Little Turd That Could. n/t

[Ivan Sputnik]

63. "Failing All the Way to the Top:

The Curious Life of Our 41st President"

Or maybe "America's Perfect Storm: The Fiasco of the Bush Years"

[Perry Logan]

64. "Upfucked."

[otohara]

65. Worst President Ever, Worst Administration Ever

The nightmare known as The Bush Regime Years

[Blackhatjack]

66. "All The Way To The Top...And Behind The Little Desk!"

[slowry]

67. Unstoppable n/t

[LNM]

68. "My Pet Goat"

Or "How I sat on my ass as the US was attacked"

[SalmonChantedEvening]

69. From Here To Stupidity n/t

[LeftishBrit]

70. "How Monkeys See the World", by Cheney

There really is an animal-psychology book of that name, and one of the authors really is called (Dorothy) Cheney; her co-author is Seyfarth. It somehow sounded very appropriate!

[judaspriestess]

71. For All Those Who Ever Crittersized Me

[usaftmo]

72. "From going AWOL to ruining Amurika" n/t

[Breeze54]

73. "My Pet Goat - The Sequel"

:P

[laylah]

74. Mission Accomplished:

The Destruction of the American Constitution

[Ghost in the Machine]

75. War Criminals of the 21st Century - George Walker Bush

From the White House to The Hague: The Fall of a pResident

The Little Asshole Who Couldn't

A Shit Stain on America: The History of George W Bush

[Auntie Bush]

76. Rewriting History

[superkia]

77. Bilderberg's Man of the Year : The one that took over America

[Rex]

79. Legacy of Failure.

[alarimer]

80. Presidency for Dummies n/t

[BelgianMadCow]

81. contemporary shape of bushes

as an example a for adults only link.

Sorry about that.

[robbedvoter]

82. Timbeeeeer!

[Danger Mouse]

85. My Pet Goat

shit, sorry, forget that one was taken.
just wanted to remind people of the only book that bush has ever read.

[AlCzervik]

86. The Peter Principle, a cautionary tale.

[balantz]

87. Dog Snot Blows a Bubble

or

How Many Licks Does It Take To Get To The Center of a Rotting Corpse?

[Blackhatjack]

88. "America's First Cheerleader President! "

[Duncan Grant]

89. The Bush Presidency: When Sh*t Was Believed To Be Ice Cream

Too harsh?

[marmar]

92. Pinochet Ambitions

n/t

[Dukkha]

93. "God's Practical Joke"

or the real punishment He laid onto America.

[HughMoran]

94. Idiot

Keep it simple.

[krispos42]

96. "President George W. Bush: The Shining Example of Executive Power"

"...and Why Our Founding Fathers Gave Us a Legislature, an Independent Judiciary, and Impeachment"

:P

"The Rise and Fall of the Bush Reich"

"American Idiot: The Dangers of Voting Your Family Model"

"How to Succeed in Fucking Up Without Really Trying"

"George W. Bush: What You Get When You Get the Government You Deserve"

[Evoman]

97. ......

I Stand Accused: A President Reflects on Two Decades of Jail Time

http://tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:9NESiDSAuyxo9M:

[derby378]

98. MAJOR LEAGUE ASSHOLE: How George W. Bush Shit On The Constitution

[mdmc]

100. Worst

Worst

[tom_paine]

101. "The End of America" (I know, I know, it's already taken)

[Blackhatjack]

102. Simply ...'THE JERK'

[ShadowLiberal]

103. The Return of King George

(a pun on how we got our freedom from King George the third)

[spacelady]

105. A play on yours: King George, the Turd.

[wordpix]

104. Mr. Shit Goes to Washington

[L0oniX]

106. King Asscarrot n/t

[Ferretherder]

107. " ? "

n/t

[Ferretherder]

108. " ? "

n/t

[Godhumor]

109. Imagine if Geogre Bush Sr. Believed in Condoms

A Safe-Sex Cautionary Tale.

[LeftishBrit]

110. The Madness of King George

[JTFrog]

111. The Chimperor Has No Clothes. n/t

[radfringe]

112. Fool on the Hill (and include a bonus CD)

Fool on the Hill
by the Beatles


Day after day, alone on the hill,
The man with the foolish grin is keeping perfectly still.
But nobody wants to know him,
They can see that he's just a fool.
And he never gives an answer .....

But the fool on the hill,
Sees the sun going down.
And the eyes in his head,
See the world spinning around.

Well on his way, his head in a cloud,
The man of a thousand voices, talking perfectly loud.
But nobody ever hears him,
Or the sound he appears to make.
And he never seems to notice .....

But the fool on the hill,
Sees the sun going down.
And the eyes in his head,
See the world spinning around.

And nobody seems to like him,
They can tell what he wants to do.
And he never shows his feelings,

But the fool on the hill,
Sees the sun going down.
And the eyes in his head,
See the world spinning around.

[jtrockville]

113. Animal House (Remix)

[Echo In Light]

114. Sodomizing America {While Using The Media To Convince You It's NOT Really Happening!}

[book_worm]

115. Fiasco: The Disastrous presidency of George W. Bush

[Prophet 451]

116. I've already got one

The Long Night: George W. Bush & The Death Of The American Dream (Full disclosure, I've been using the term "The Long Night" to describe Bush's reign for years).

If that one doesn't tickle the publisher's fancy, we could try:
Reign Of Error
The Madness Of President George
How To Steal Elections & Influence People
The Rapture Is Not An Exit Plan
Global Judge Dread
Pattern Of AWOL
DIEBOLDed!
Cream Rises (And So Does Scum)
Dummies Guide To Dictatorship
Death Of Democracy: How George W. Bush Destroyed America
Torturing Brown People For Fun & Profit

And the one I simply can't resist:
"Unfit For Command"