Alternet: Challenge To Go Whole Day Without Revealing Gender of your Sweetie

[Hissyspit]

http://www.alternet.org/sex/47666/

Straight and In the Closet on Valentine's Day
By Julie Enszer, AlterNet. Posted February 14, 2007.

One woman challenges readers to go the whole day without revealing the gender of their sweetie.

I tell people that I am a lesbian regularly. In the gay and lesbian communities, we call that "coming out." Sometimes coming out is overt; I say, "I'm a lesbian." Sometimes, it is subtle; I refer to my partner as my "wife" or I mention that I am vacationing with my partner and specify her sex with the pronoun, "her." When I do this, I sometimes still get raised eyebrows or double-takes. I'm fine with that. I appreciate the opportunity to be visible to people who might not know that they know and interact with a lesbian on a regular basis.

I'm confounded, though, when people ask me why I need to tell people that I am a lesbian or that my partner is a woman. Here is the truth: I don't need to tell people that I'm gay. I never plan or want to tell people that I'm a lesbian. It just comes up in daily conversation.

Consider this: I'm at the grocery store checking out and the cashier says, "Oh, yum, you're making greens!" I, equally chatty, reply, "Actually, I'm not going to make them, but my wife will." She says, without pause, "Well, I'm sure they will be delicious."

- snip -

We in the gay and lesbian community understand coming out, but I've found that coming out isn't easy for some heterosexual folks to understand. They still think, but WHY do you NEED to come out?

To answer that, I have a challenge for you: This Valentine's Day, don't indicate to anyone all day what the gender of your sweetie is. Evade. When people ask, "What are you doing this evening?" Say, "I'm having dinner with a someone special," or, "My partner and I are seeing a movie." Some people will assume that the person you reference is of the opposite sex. Some people may think you are in a same-sex relationship. How do you feel about that? How do you think gay and lesbian people feel?

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[peacebird]

1. I never really thought of it that way before. Thank you. I have always been a vocal advocate

for equal rights for all, yet something this basic and simple had never entered my thoughts....

Thank you for helping me see things more clearly.

:hug:

Happy Heart Day to all!

[unblock]

2. mrs. unblock and i will take up your challenge!

damn! damn, damn, DAMN!

:hug:

[mmonk]

3. Being at DU helps me think in terms of the heart, not gender.

Happy Valentine's Day Hissyspit.

[MotorCityMan]

4. This is a GREAT idea

and I have already forwarded this article to 4 (straight) friends of mine.

I came out when I was 18 (I'm 42 now) and have been doing this for so long that it is automatic now. It took my partner getting sick and dying over 3 years ago for me to come out to my co-workers (and I work at a very gay friendly company).