I have decided that no candidate is good enough for me, so I'm going to write in... ME!

[Writer]

No one is reciting precisely my desires word for word, so who better to run the country but ME? I mean, I know what's best for the Iraq War! I know what's best for health care! I know that John Edward's hair is better parted to the left! I know that K-Fed is a better parent than Britney Spears! I know that Marion Jones... that...

wait a minute did I get distracted?

Oh yeah - I forgot. ME! I won't have someone dictate to me what my wishes should be. You can't trust anyone, anyway. Everyone has an agenda; no one is well-intentioned. So I'm writing in ME for President! I mean - the Iraq War? It's really quite simple. All you need to do are the two or three things I've written here on this napkin. Here they are. Just do this - yeah! Problem solved! I have the answers, and because none of these goons running for office is articulating precisely my thoughts, then they need to get out of my way. Here comes ME!

I learned it from the Internet, you know? I've assembled all my facts. Here are the links. Just click on them, okay? I'm sorry if you disagree with the TRUTH, because what couldn't be more truthful than the links I've selected? Just read them without question.

Oh... and in case you haven't heard... I'm writing in ME for president! ME! For nothing else can satisfy ME but ME.

Pleasantly yours... your #1, most truthful ME,

~Writer~

[Olney Blue]

1. Now hold on a minute. Who is your running mate?

[Writer]

2. Me, too?

:shrug:

Me/Me, too 2008!

[emilyg]

3. Me, me, me.

[Booster]

4. Ya better not - you just might win and have to clean up this mess.