Kerry: "There once was a man named Vitter..."

[Mabus]

I thought it was pretty funny. Hope you enjoy it too.

John Kerry, on Nantucket at the DSCC fundraiser last weekend, recited this limerick:

There once was a man named Vitter
Who vowed that he wasn't a quitter
But with stories of women
And all of his sinnin'
He knows his career's in the -- oh, nevermind.

http://thecapitolist.com/archives/20070720/#3431

[wicket]

1. Bwahahahahahaha!

[wryter2000]

2. ROFL

That link doesn't take me to the limerick. Did John Kerry really say that?

Okay, I'm gullible. It's still damned funny.

[Mabus]

5. According to an anonymous source on the capitolist

The message board that requires you to post from Capitol Hill computers (i.e., the staff).

on edit: It was posted on 7/20/07 at 10:28 a.m. (ET). fwiw, when I clicked on the link the Kerry post I cited was at the top of the page.

[wryter2000]

10. Thanks

That's truly awesome. I'm glad JK said it.

[Mabus]

26. Confirmed. Kerry said it

http://thehill.com/leading-the-news/vitters-woes-make-h...

[Richard Steele]

3. Nice to see it's not just DUers who want to keep this story alive. nm

[malaise]

4. I'll take

shitter for $2,000 Alex
Bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

[blm]

16. HAHAHAH......

good follow up.

[kenny blankenship]

6. "He knows his career's in the -- oh, nevermind"

Hey that's not his business, that's his pleasure.

Well ok it is his "business" but it's not Vitter's career. I guess he could make it a career.

[htuttle]

7. I find it even funnier that he supposedly made a limerick while in "Nantucket"....

...and didn't use the word "Nantucket" in it.

[Mabus]

It works on multiple levels

Add in that Vitter allegedly likes his diapers dirty and then left-off "shitter" comment is another dimension. I realize it is just me and my sick little mind.

[rudy23]

8. I still like my "Vitter? I hardly even know her!" line.

C'mon, show me some love! It even fits the story!

[originalpckelly]

9. Holy crap, John Kerry is funny!

[OPERATIONMINDCRIME]

11. Is That For Real?

[Mabus]

13. As far as I know

You can only post on the capitolist if you're posting from the Hill. Posting is limited to staffers on the Hill and there was a Democratic retreat for Senators in Nantucket last weekend.

The Democratic senators attending the Nantucket retreat are DSCC chairman Patty Murray (Wash.), Senate Majority Leader Thomas A. Daschle (S.D.), Bill Nelson (Fla.), Daniel K. Akaka (Hawaii), Evan Bayh (Ind.), Joseph R. Biden Jr. (Del.), Hillary Rodham Clinton (N.Y.), Jon S. Corzine (N.J.), Byron L. Dorgan (N.D.), Richard J. Durbin (Ill.), Edward M. Kennedy (Mass.), John F. Kerry (Mass.), Blanche Lincoln (Ark.), Ben Nelson (Neb.), Charles E. Schumer (N.Y.) and Ron Wyden (Ore.).

http://www.washingtonpost.com/ac2/wp-dyn?pagename=artic...

[saracat]

22. That guest list is from 2002!

[Mabus]

24. You are correct.

I didn't check the date when I found that piece. Thanks for catching it.

It does appear that the DSCC holds annual retreats on Nantucket though. I did another search with the terms "Nantucket" and "DSCC" and got hits for past years.

[Mabus]

25. The poem was reported by ABC News on Friday and confirmed to The Hill

by a Democratic aide who attended the event.

http://thehill.com/leading-the-news/vitters-woes-make-h...

[JacquesMolay]

12. John Kerry tells a joke...

... he's about 3 years late letting people know he has a sense of humor.

[fedupinBushcountry]

27. No

you're about 3 years late for not knowing.

[SammyWinstonJack]

32. ...

[Kurovski]

14. karlrschneider wrote the following on July 9:

"There once was a Senator Vitter
Who is now increasingly bitter
His name on the list
Was found so he's pissed
And his cred is now in the shitter."

...is Kerry's son still hanging around DU?


http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.ph...

[Mabus]

18. Let the limericks begin

[racaulk]

15. I posted a similar thread in the Lounge a few days ago.

Some DUers (especially Orrex and Oregonian) came up with some pretty clever limerics on Senator Vitter. Check it out here:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.ph...

Some good stuff there, I promise you won't be disappointed.

An example (from Orrex):

The embarrassed young john had a dream
To be diapered and powdered and cleaned.
"Can you do it?" he prodded.
The Madam just nodded.
"We call it The Vitter Supreme."

[Mabus]

17. If you keep that up I'm going to have change my sig line

and use your name instead of evlbstrd's.

[racaulk]

19. Ha! Thanks Mabus, that's quite the compliment!

I'm so glad I started that thread. DUer creativity at its finest!

[Mabus]

20. I'm glad you started that thread

I'm still laughing at some of those. They were priceless!

[blm]

21. THAT IS HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!

That is O'Donoghue worthy.

[Behind the Aegis]

23. Hmmm..

There once was a man named Vitter
Who was afraid to sit on the shitter
So, he pampered his bum
Supposedly for fun
Now the country is all a'twitter.

[defendandprotect]

28. evidently Vitter story extends into Florida and prostitutes there?????

[struggle4progress]

29. Mr. Vitter once seemed to be snooty

And condemned folk he thought were fruity
And now: cloth -- or papier?
Heck! Buy him the pair!
For a senator must doo his doody

[_dynamicdems]

30. Too funny! I'd heard he wrote poetry on occasion, but this is priceless!

I've also heard he's done some pretty funny ad-libs at certain roasts he's attended in MA.

[SammyWinstonJack]

31. ...

[saltpoint]

33. Hilarious. And it strikes just the partisan posture I like.

This man is the real president. Not George W. Bush.

[YvonneCa]

36. Yep, and...

...thank goodness he decided to serve.

[Warren DeMontague]

34. Hmmm. Now what words rhyme with "Diaper"? nt

[Mabus]

39. Hyper, sniper, griper, piper, viper, typer and, of course, wiper

Those were the first that came to mind.

[DFW]

35. My version:

A Senator named David Vitter
The nastiest sort of a critter
Got caught with a whore,
And he leapt for the door
Yelling, “That, sir, is my baby-sitter!”

[Mabus]

40. LOL. That's pretty good.

[DFW]

46. We'all does whut we cans........

[texpatriot2004]

37. Oh my gosh, that's great. Hilarious.

ROFLMAO

[KingFlorez]

38. I can't believe he said that, ROFL

[Initech]

41. Here's one I came up with:

There once was a guy named Vitter
Who wore Pampers and avoided the shitter
A member of the morals and values crowd
Who sure likes their opinions voiced loud
Just when you think they cant get any dimmer.

[Jed Dilligan]

42. I've got one, wait, wait

There once was a man named Vitter,
Who never went into the shitter.
He put on a didy,
To stay neat and tidy,
But the prostitutes find he tastes... bitter.

[Blue_In_AK]

43. Hey, John Kerry CAN tell a joke. n/t

[eridani]

44. So, Jeff R--will you personally give Kerry his DUzy award?

Will Kerry have been the first serving congresscritter to get one?

[eridani]

45. So, Jeff R--will you personally give Kerry his DUzy award?

Will Kerry have been the first serving congresscritter to get one?

[Inuca]

47. The ending

"oh, nevermind" is the best part IMHO