Republican Rules of the Game

[Cabcere]

Okay, so I posted this earlier on another thread:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=389x119738
and Canuckistanian (I hope I spelled that right! :hi: ) suggested that I post it separately, so that we all know where we stand. ;) Please feel free to add any other "guidelines" that might apply! :)

1) ENGAGING IN SEXUAL ACTS WITH CONSENTING ADULT INTERNS is completely unacceptable and will not be tolerated. Any Democratic President who engages in such behavior shall be demonized without mercy. However, SEXUALLY HARASSING (NON-CONSENTING) EMPLOYEES is perfectly fine, provided the "harasser" is a) conservative (sorry, "traditionalist") and b) continuing to bring in high ratings for Fox News. Also, HOMOSEXUAL SOLICITATIONS OF UNDERAGE PAGES by Republican Congressmen are allowed, but as this is not held in such high esteem in the right-wing world, steps must be taken to falsely label said Congressman as a Democrat.

2) The act of SMOKING CIGARETTES shall not be allowed, if the smoker is a Democrat and especially if he or she is running for the office of President. Democratic cigarette smokers shall be publicly reviled. However, prominent Republicans shall be permitted to USE COCAINE, DRIVE WHILE INTOXICATED, and participate in other forms of substance abuse, because the powerful goodness of their inherent Republicanism trumps any "youthful indiscretions," even if said "indiscretions" continued into said Republican's forties.

3) MARIJUANA is a horrible, horrible thing that only filthy dirty hippie liberals use. If any Democrat admits to using marijuana, even if he or she claims to have never inhaled, demonize him or her thoroughly. CRYSTAL METH, however, is perfectly okay, provided it is PURCHASED FROM A GAY PROSTITUTE by a pastor.

4) ABORTIONS are not acceptable, even if the mother has been a victim of rape or incest or if her life is in danger. If a woman becomes unintentionally pregnant, or if there are complications during the pregnancy, it is always her fault because she is a filthy whore. Likewise, STEM CELL RESEARCH is unacceptable because it destroys precious embryos that would have been destroyed anyway, and uses them for science, which is the enemy of faith.

5) HOMOSEXUALITY is unacceptable, although this applies only to members of the Democratic Party. Republicans may lead homosexual double lives, especially if they are PASTORS or CONGRESSMEN in public life, because professions such as these highlight the moral values of the Republican Party. Democratic homosexuals shall have NO RIGHTS, but homosexuals in positions of power in the Republican Party shall be granted special rights, and even be allowed to raise children if they so choose.


That's about as far as I got before it started making me sick. :puke: Feel free to add on!

[NewJeffCT]

1. The over-riding rule is...

If you are a Republican, anything bad that happened before today you can apologize for as a "youthful indiscretion" (even if you're like 70 like Henry Hyde, or mid 50s like Arnold)

[muntrv]

2. Only repukes may raise money from their cronies. When dems do it, it's

illegal.

[peacetalksforall]

3. Excellent post. During the Clinton character assassination years

I figured out and wrote many times - Republicans incessantly DEMAND that Democrats be SAINTS.

[Canuckistanian]

4. K&R, as promised

Hi, Cabcere!
:hi:

[Cabcere]

5. Thanks, Canuckistanian!

:hi: :loveya: