GEORGE W. BUSH: MISUNDERSTOOD MAN OF VISION! (dialup warning)

[Richard Steele]

This is not an easy essay to write. It's never easy
to admit I'm wrong, especially when I have been so
horribly mistaken for such a long time.

However, it must be done.
The evidence is clear, (LITERALLY, as you shall soon see...)
and the analysis leads to a single, incontrovertible conclusion:
I have been completely mistaken about George W. Bush.

We all have.

We've believed him a bumbler, a stumbler; a glassy-eyed,
mouth-breathing buffoon with all the fashion sense of a
brain-damaged monkey on crystal meth dressing itself from
a Nawlinz trash can two days after Mardi gras.

However, here at DickSteele Labs™, we've taken a more
in-depth look at the man. We've spent literally HOURS
analyzing all the relevant evidence with the best, most
powerful computer systems available anywhere in the world
for $1200 back in 2002.

And the conclusion is unavoidable: all our opinions of
the man have been mistaken.

Mistaken because we were unaware of a single, significant
fact: George W. Bush can see invisible things.
This is his blessing....and his curse.

Come with me now, as I grant you insight into his world, via
the high-tech magic of "captions"...

We lowly peons wouldn't think him so clumsy
if we were able to see all the...

Apparently, it's EVERYWHERE. Who knew?




And it's not easy to stay "on message" with
all the constant, onrushing...






And few of us really grasp what a James Dean-style
tough guy he is...






(Sometimes, the invisible toothpick falls into that
narrow spot under the podium. Problem? NOT!)





At this point, many of you doubt that this is a serious thread.

You probably think I'm making all this up; you don't believe he's
an actual card-carrying member of the Society of Invisible-Stuff Seers.
Well, if he isn't, then why does he have THIS:

Chew on that, you skeptics!



Fashion-wise, it turns out that he really isn't being dressed
by blind circus clowns who hate his guts. No, the problem is
that you and I are often unable to SEE the single item or accessory
that ties his entire outfit together into a masterful composition
of sheer couture brilliance.

His invisible top hat just be SILLY without his...





And likewise, this outfit only makes sense if you
know about his...





Nothing says "Real patriot" like a...






Suddenly, this makes SO much more sense, no?







And there's really only one thing on Earth
that can tie together a white shirt, Crocs™,
and black Presidential-seal socks:




Our inability to see what he sees can cause no end of difficulties
for Mr. Bush. A never-ending series of misunderstandings that make
his job, and life, so much harder than that of any ordinary President.


We all saw what a hullabaloo THIS caused,
just this week:






And that was NOTHING compared to the abuse
he's had to endure because of these:






And he has yet to get a SINGLE chuckle from
his favorite press-conference gag:



But, it's not all bad. Being the way he is, he has a wide variety of
options that can help him through the ups and downs of his unique
and misunderstood life.


Nothing makes a tough press conference easier
than the close support of an...





And "tough crowds" aren't all that tough,
for a man who can see...






There's nothing like hitting the town with
all of your best...






Hey, none of us will ever know the joy of
being surrounded by a cheering mob of...

(slipping that invisible watch into the 'ol pocket
this time- smart move, George!)



And ALLLLLL those invisible Bush-fans have some much
more PRACTICAL benefits, every so often:





Sometimes, a fellow Society member surprises
him with a very special gift:






Of course, that can have a downside:






Few of -US- could ever get away with smoking in church...

His "Invisible George Burns" impression? Flawless!





And if you're trying to cut back on those,
it's often helpful to substitute...





And, as a lover of "the Great Outdoors", he enjoys it on so many more
levels than you or I could ever possibly understand.

His invisible active lifestyle spans the seasons,
from winter:





Well into the summer heat:






Make no mistake, however; "invisible nature"
has a few hazards of its own:





Or even WORSE:

Bad day to forget his invisible monocle!




And,as we all know, EVERY President faces certain NON-natural dangers simply by
assuming office. There are crazy, hateful people out there, and any leader
of our great Nation ignores them at his own peril.

That's why he WISELY never goes out without his...





Of course, that will only take care of the first SIX invisible assailants.

If there are MORE than that, then it's time to bust open a can of
whupass "up close and personal", Bruce Lee style:





And, although it's not actually a life-threatening problem,
he must remain constantly vigilant against the comically
painful surprise attacks of....

("Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk" shall NEVER defeat "Heh Heh Heh"!)



But, in the end, even with his amazing gifts and unfair burdens,
he is still, basically, a human man. Basically.

Even for a man as SPECIAL as George W. Bush, there are moments
in life that every lowly, non-invisible-stuff-seer like you and I
can understand, and empathize with:




Of course, he is "special", and so he can deal
with those moments in a way I only wish I could:



This concludes this photographic essay.
It has not been my intent to change minds, or votes, but simply to INFORM.

Whatever your personal opinion, I can only express my humblest desire that
you leave here today with a deeper, more educated understanding of the
unique & incredibly complex man whom we all call, simply, "that fucking shithead".

On behalf of the entire DickSteele Labs™ staff,
I thank you for your time.

Sincerely,
Richard Steele,
June 14, 2007

[Philosoraptor]

1. Funny.

[Downtown Hound]

2. Classic! K&R.

[IChing]

3. Excellent!!!!!

[silverweb]

4. Brilliant!

Well done.

[Ron Green]

5. Nice work! K&R.

[PA Democrat]

6. Thanks for the laugh! K&R

[yardwork]

7. Thank you! Bravo!

I'll go home chuckling tonight!

[Xipe Totec]

8. I hurt myself laughing

now I'm exhausted!

K&R

[Richard Steele]

26. What a compliment! High praise indeed, IMO. Thank you. nm

[MGKrebs]

9. lol! Thanks!

[Arkansas Granny]

10. Great stuff! This clears up many misconceptions I have had about

our fearless leader.

[helderheid]

11. BRILLIANT!!

[Richard Steele]

19. Oops! Seeing you reminds me: I owe much credit to the good folks at "I can has cheezburger"....

The whole "invisible" meme is a fave of mine, and the LolCats
are where it all started...
Without their tireless work, this would never have happened.

[helderheid]

32. I hear ya! Some of my favs...

[Arugula Latte]

35. Not to mention ...

[helderheid]

44. How could I forget!

[Richard Steele]

50. The STANDARD against which all others shall forever be judged! nm

[Contrary1]

76. Or...the infamous invisible sandwich!

[helderheid]

85. LOL!!

[Pacifist Patriot]

12. Creativity like this renders me....

woefully inadequate and totally jealous. That was, in the words of my ten year old, "freakin' hilarious."

[glowing]

13. I have one of those Bush count down calenders.. everyday of the

week I can be reminded of something insanely stupid that he has done... helps me put on my pink fatigues and hit the streets.

[NJCher]

70. countdown watch

A librarian at the university where I teach has a countdown watch!

Every time I go in, I say, "How many days/hours/minutes?" and she tells me.

Loved this, DickSteele. You are very talented.



Cher

[northofdenali]

14. Bookmarked & emailed -

K&R of course - and that's why we must (can I bring up my own thread?) OUTSOURCE THE PRESIDENT! http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.ph...

[Richard Steele]

22. I gave that some of the old "K&R" action! nm

[annabanana]

15. Eureka! You have de-coded his entire pResidency!!

magnificent!

[Vincardog]

16. Thank you now I understand "that fucking shithead".

[durrrty libby]

17. Very well done. Thanks for the laugh

[Vinca]

18. Hysterical - love that invisible pimp cane!

[Richard Steele]

21. The SS Agent in the backround really sells that one, IMHO.

I swear he's trying to look "gangsta" for the camera.

[Greyskye]

20. I have only THIS to say:

[Hissyspit]

23. INVISIBLE BEE!

Right there! There it is! --------->

See it?!

[onethatcares]

24. change my mind, never/

not in a thousand million eons. You got him pegged.

[glitch]

25. This may be the funniest post ever! And a little sad, too. K & R nt

[Joanne98]

27. Men who can see invisible things......

Don't have to take the caps off their binoculars...


If you can see invisible things, you can hear them too...


Somethimes it really comes in handy having an invisible dick...

[Danascot]

43. Ya know, this really explains a lot

Suddenly it all makes sense.

(It's still really fucked up, but at least it makes sense now.)

[Richard Steele]

86. That may be the REAL reason he carries the invisible tweezers, you know...nm

[Dukkha]

28. LOL! The invisible puppy looks like he's getting an invisible lap dance

the funniest post i've seen in a long time! This needs to be made into a web site we can all email to others.

[Richard Steele]

41. Hmmm....are you familiar with this image?

This one was conceived by our fellow DUer "NoSheep" a while back;
I think it's still as funny as ever:



Hadn't thought about that one in awhile, but your "lap dance" comment
reminded me of it. Thanks!

[Olney Blue]

29. Bookmarking. Absolutely brilliant.

[Stinky The Clown]

30. If THIS thread doesn't get a Duzy Award, nothing should.

Funniest Thread of the Month!

[SalmonChantedEvening]

31. This is a Masterpiece Mr. Steele

I am going to aspercreme my ribs :rofl

Bravo and bravo a-bloody-gain

[struggle4progress]

33. lol!

[Sparkly]

34. Hilarious!!

K&R

[Kali]

36. brav-O!

[Cabcere]

37. I. Love. You.

Kicked, recommended, and bookmarked. This is quite possibly the best thing I've seen all day!

[slay]

38. Oh man.. too funny.. can't stop laughing..

Bwhahahah! That was great man - you made my day.

[malaise]

39. Visibly brilliant

Thanks for the laughs

[JohnnyLib2]

40. Thank you, thank you.

You've made me realize something stunning -- I'm going to MISS the incredibly goofy images this guy puts across. Never again.....

[badgerpup]

42. K & R!!

This thread can has DUzy?

[Cabcere]

45. Just wanted to let you know...

I just showed this to my dad (who identifies as an independent), and he was laughing out loud at almost all of it. Great stuff - thanks for sharing this!

[ThingsGottaChange]

46. The Invisible Stooges took me completely by surprise

I'm dying here! K & R!!!

Excellent work Mr. Steele, I thank you!

[Richard Steele]

49. Thanks! That one almost didn't make the final cut, you know....

I knew it was probably gonna confuse more people
than it amused.

But, I figured that those of you who immediately recognized
the hand position would REALLY enjoy it as much as I do, so
I left it in.

Your single response to that pic is all I need to decide that
I made the right choice. Thank you!

[SeattleGirl]

47. ROFLMAO!!!!! Well done!!!!

[Straight Shooter]

48. Invisible magic hat, bwahahahaha!

Thanks for making me laugh today

[orleans]

51. that was hysterical! that invisible magic hat had me laughing out loud too! n/t

[WiseButAngrySara]

52. Hilarious! KNR. ...n/t

[Mnemosyne]

53. * knew he was invisible many years ago:

Probably checking for leftover candy in this photo.

My deepest respect to anyone that can admit when they've been so wrong.

Excellent analysis and thread, Dick!

Thanks; I needed that badly today.

[OnyxCollie]

54. Bravo!

[ninkasi]

55. I applaud your genius

Dicksteele. This post is priceless, thanks!

[Richard Steele]

56. Holy CRAP! This is now #1 on the "greatest" page! VISIBLE THANKS TO EVERYONE!

I'm really glad you all enjoyed it- I had assloads of giggles
putting it together, Itellyawhut!


Thanks everyone!

[Lex]

58. You rule!

Nice stuff. I was lmao at the pix!

[Richard Steele]

59. I don't know about "rule", but I do have my better days. THANKS! nm

[slay]

62. Hey man - good fuckin job!

This rocks! I e-mailed it to my mom.

[rpannier]

57. Superior. Two major thumbs up

Congrats.
Recommend here.

[upi402]

60. That looks like a labor of love

Very funy.

[Contrary1]

61. And this is:

Invisible praise for a brilliant post!

[Contrary1]

75. PS: The above message is invisible.

[Richard Steele]

96. "Clearly". nm

[Contrary1]

97. Did you highlight it?

I typed it with invisible print.

[Richard Steele]

98. Yeah, it FINALLY occurred to me just now!

My brain just ain't what it used to be.

Glad you liked it! Thanks!

[Duncan Grant]

63. Invisible Stooges! ROFLMAO.

Thanks for taking the time to put this together. The invisible stooges is a killer!

And this little gem got me, too: Bad day to forget his invisible monocle!

k&r

[Terre]

64. OMG!! This has got to be one of the FUNNIEST

posts I've read in a LONG, LONG, TIME!

Thanks you SO much.

I needed that.

[me b zola]

65. Fall out of my chair funny!

You sir, have created a classic!

[RB TexLa]

66. That's pretty funny

[Kaleidescope Cassie]

67. If I give you credit, can I borrow these for my blog?

ooops. ignore the signature. it is for THIS blog.

http://frecklescassie.wordpress.com /

[Richard Steele]

83. Sure, just as long as you....

...load them to your own server.

I've gotta be close to using all my free PhotoBucket bandwidth
for the month with this one!

[bluewithinblue]

68. That Was Incredible!!!

I swear, I was laughing so hard I almost passed out!!!
Kudos, kudos, kudos!!!
I bow to you, sir.

Edit to say I'm mailing this to myself. Thanks again!!!

[Richard Steele]

84. Hi, bluewithinblue! Welcome to DU!

Glad you liked it.

[RadiDem]

69. GREEEEEEEEEAAAAATTTTT K&R!

[The Doctor.]

71. *** I think a little pee came out.... ***

Holy shit... that was my laugh quotient for the whole month!

I'm sharing. Hope you don't mind.

That was just plain fucking brilliant.

[opihimoimoi]

72. I just love those INVISIBLE TRAINING WHEELS

KnR

[WindRavenX]

73. fucking HILARIOUS!!!!

***can't breathe***

more! More!

[MissHoneychurch]

74. Hilarious

thanks for the coffee-spitting start into the day ....

[Richard Steele]

101. So, was it as good for you as it was for me?

You got the only special "sneak preview", you know.

Ok, Ok... it was just a single outtake and a "working title", but it
was still the only "advance warning" I gave anyone.

Did the "heads-up" make it better, lessen the impact,
or did it make no difference? I'd like to know.
TRUE ART is all about the details!

[liberal N proud]

77. Fantastic piece or work!

[proReality]

78. Thanks! I needed that!!!!

Haven't laughed so hard since he took office.

[4_TN_TITANS]

79. Genius!

Thoroughly enjoyed.... k&r!

[unhappycamper]

80. Invisibly k&r.

Great post.

[sinkingfeeling]

81. Well, now I understand, but have to say I think America would be so much better off if

we were to round up and deport all these 'invisible-stuff-seeing' people!

[Batgirl]

82. It sure feels good to laugh really hard

Many thanks to the entire staff at DickSteele Labs™

[krispos42]

87. This is the funniest post since the...

"Things NOT to say when seeing 'The Passion'" thread...

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.ph...


Awesome job! This is getting emailed around!

[sellitman]

88. I gave this a NON Invisible vote & kick!

Great job.

[MasonJar]

89. I haven't seen anything that delightful since the man with the invisible brain moved into the WH.

[Richard Steele]

90. Friday-afternoon kick! (107 recs- I still can't believe it!)

[AverageJoe]

91. Jesus, I think I ruptured my spleen

but it was worth it. I don't remember the last time I laughed this hard.

BRAVO! BRAVO! BRAVO!

[Ioo]

92. I think I just shit myself!

[Richard Steele]

93. That's always nice to hear!

Under the circumstances, that is.

[graywarrior]

94. Sweet Jesus that it the funniest thing I have ever seen.

[xxqqqzme]

95. isn't there an invisible magic wand to go w/ that

invisible hat? An invisible wand would sure explain a lot when it comes to caving dems.

[iamahaingttta]

99. That was just TOO funny!

I wish I had the time, inclination, creativity and, you know, umm... what's that word? to do stuff like that! You are my hero for the day!!!

I PARTICULARLY enjoy the fact that the Google ad at the top of the response page is:

"Urinary Incontinence - Save on quality briefs and panties designed for men and for women."

Utterly appropriate!

[Richard Steele]

100. Oh, that's just perfect!

I can't see the ads, so I missed that!