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So there you have it folks! It's a Wrap! Civilisation is DEAD.

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baby_mouse Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-12-06 03:43 PM
Original message
So there you have it folks! It's a Wrap! Civilisation is DEAD.
Thousands of years of civilisation is about to go up in smoke. But it was good, huh? Good times...

It's a shame the product has reached the end of it's lifecycle, but the pubs got there first in realising that all you had to do was blow it up and it would cease to exist, therefore couldn't be worth anything much. Pity, really, that we didn't get there first, huh? At least we would have had the last lugh.

You know, as we look back over the last few thousand years and review the multiple forms of legislation that have been passed, the acts of brave men and women, the great, beautiful dreams that came true, were erected in gold, paper, marble, electromagnetism, glass, wood and steel (and then rapidly raped to death), the TV programmes, the symphonies, the glorious victories for the forces of common sense, reason, dialogue, understanding and peace on earth, the struggling, the laughing, the patient efforts, the sudden, terrible defeats, I think the main theme that stands out is

GULLIBILITY

I can imagine an alien civilisation watching us like a reality TV show, what's the betting that "Life on Earth" really IS a reality TV show on some alien TV station, actually? Aliens sniggering at dumbass republicans fucking up the whole goddamn planet in one decade... there's an image, where was I, oh yes, I think the title would be "GALAXIES MOST GULLIBLE LIFEFORMS" I can hear the alien laugh track now, cold and bubbling, strange and yet hauntingly, horribly familiar...

But no regrets, eh, fellow earthlings, lets smile and be brave as we await the final dissappointment, cos you know what, I went to a circus last year and heard a song that I think is a really sweet little ditty and very appropriate for this time and it want something like this:

"Is that all there is?
Is that all there is?
Because if that's all there is, my friend...

Let's keep on dancing..."


Let the aliens see that at least we fucked everything up with a great big smile! We were HAPPY gullible morons, HAPPY slaves! HAPPY to be lied to so long as there were no uncomfortable thoughts are strange new ideas, nothing too clever, please, we're earthlings. Cos, you know, the sun also rises and in 50,000 years time the habit of nuking small countries that criticise your desire to nuke them may have worn off from the numerous superpowers that will have risen and fallen and I think we have to accept that they will happen, after all, violence is a part of our beinges and everyone loves to make a name for themselves, don't they? And you, you don't get what you deserve in life, you just get... what you get. Profound, dude. And all these new superpowers, I'll tell you something, they won't take any shit because, they'll be using America as their model. From now on, anyone pisses off the Big Guy, whoever he is, it'll be America that they'll compare him to. And what else, I had this revelation as I was mentally imagining the millions of scorched Iranian civilians, there will be a SEA CHANGE in the way people view America, they won't really even think of it as a country any more, it'll be kind of like a God, it will become the Voice of God, like the holy Roman Empire was. So, if you think about it, all the American culture like Frank Sinatra and John Wayne and Marylin Monroe and JFK and Nixon, they will become the voices of GOD! Which is a good thing, cause who doesn't wanna hear the voice of God? And, and also we can FORGIVE the unAmericans in the end, it'll teach us all the forgiveness of the Lord because once they come to realise their...uh, their transgression they'll be welcomed into the arms of the Lord. And so, they will have ascended into the light. And that's a good thing. And it will be through America, through Americans. Gullibility is a virtue. Yeah. Cos, it's innocence, which is the light of the Lord. And so as we look back ove the first few primitive attempts to construct an American society through history we can see people trying to approach American ideals and even American personalities, we can see Moses who was the first Burt Lancaster, and Ben Hur, who was a kind of ancestor of Charton Heston. And their values are American values. And I think we have to get past the idea, get over it, Imean, that it's wrong to to what you're goddamn told. It's God talking, right? Who's bigger than God? Nobody! I mean, that's the... uh, definition of God. And there's way too much anger in the world, too many questions, and we need someone who just walk in sometimes and say: "Shut the fuck up." Cos that's what gets shit done, you know? And I think, looking back over the centuries of time and the hours of the sandglass we can see that. That's what happens. People shut up. Because they're dead. And I think we have to try and understand that if there's going to be any connection between us, between people, it has to be, you know, a real connection. With Americans. With what the Americans want. Because, we're human beings too. It's an awesome responsibility. And it's going to be such a great adventure for everyone, the whole world, you know? Because we'll all be in the fight together, even the terrorists. Because we'll all be in the presence of the Word of God, acting out his will. And that's a good thing. And, if you think about it, who are we to say what's good and bad? It's God's creation, right? He gets to say what's good and bad. I mean, that's the definition of, uh. Of God. And I think we have to remember that it's been good, you know? All the failed systems, even they have something to contribute. They belong with us. They're our people, too. Everyone will be American. And that's a good thing. We have to look back over time and thank the previous... uh, the past, and tell them, I mean, say to ourselve that they were real people, like we're real people. Because the unAmericans... they are us, you know? They are part of us. We come from them. Like Japan. And I know people talk a lot about reason and stuff, and you have to ask yourslf, how do they know? Who really knows anything? Because, the Age of Reason, well, you know, what are the answers? Did they actually have any? Because there was still war, and of course, the plague and they didn't do anything about it, they just chopped everyone's head off! And that can't be the way. And so I think we have to look back and remember the good tiems and think about the good things the Holocaust brought us. Maus, the comic strip by Ark Speigeltent. And Steven Speilberg. And ET. So, the old times are the new times. And that's a good thing. Time is a circle. And, in the end, who can say what will be the results of our actions? People say all sorts of stuff. Goddam, there are a lot of buttons on this jacket! Those lights are pretty bright. What was I saying? Yeah, I think that the people who criticise... if you don't do something, then nothing happens. You have to do something to change the world. It doesn't change by itself. You have to do it. And that means now. Before it's too late. Because God's watching, and there's no telling what he'll do. And so these people who are trying to make human-sheep hybrids, that's a source of great fear for me. Because, you know, it's playing God. And that's a good thing. And who are we to say that we have the expertise of the people thousands of years ago who invented empires? We have all our modern machines and gadgets and these strange ideas, and I think, you know, that it'll all stop sometime. Because, if you look at history, it wasn't like that before. And we don't really know what we're doing. And so the others, the ancestors, they're like a radio from God, talking to us through history, like the angels. And that's a good thing. And so we shouldn't be sad. We shouldn't be afraid, because they're always with us. Hitler and Napolean and Genghis Khan and Martin Luther King and Mother Theresa and Bob Geldof and Rasputin and Jack the Ripper and the Virgen Mary...uh.... and Tina Turner, I think we seperate then but I think you have to look at the whole. It's all part of one thing. A great sea of history. A whole world of shit. And time only goes in one direction. People forget that. And also I think that small things can have an effect, like Hurricane Katrina. Which I will never forget. I think we have to think of these times... the tears flow even as I speak, but I think we have to see the wonderfulness of these moments. Because all moments are God's moments. And Good is God. I think... when you small a small child in a mother's arms with their house blown over, you cry. And that's a good thing. The flowing of tears. All I can rememebr is that the tears flow. And that's a good thing. And it's a human thing. And it's important. And I think what happened... if you look at history, it's always like this. And you understand, you see the sacrifice, and why it's there. The tears flowing. and it's part of you, it's always with you. It's always there. And that's a good thing. B Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzztclick...... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
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Junkdrawer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-12-06 03:48 PM
Response to Original message
1. Dr. Bronner, is that you?
Edited on Wed Apr-12-06 03:49 PM by Junkdrawer
All One.
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electropop Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-12-06 03:55 PM
Response to Reply #1
4. Hahaha! I love Dr. Bronner's soap!
Never could make heads or tails of the bottle.

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baby_mouse Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-12-06 03:56 PM
Response to Reply #1
5. No, I think I started accidentally channeling that Creep in Chief.

Never Again. The whole place smells of gasoline. Brrrrr...
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cali Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-12-06 04:00 PM
Response to Reply #1
8. Bravo!
funniest comment I've seen on DU in ages. Thanks for the laugh.
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Cats Against Frist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-12-06 04:08 PM
Response to Reply #1
18. Oh my goodness
:spray: :spray: :spray: :spray: :spray: :spray: :spray: :spray: :spray: :spray:

Spot on, Junkdrawer!!!

:toast: :rofl:
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faithnotgreed Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-12-06 04:53 PM
Response to Reply #18
35. all one! all one! all one!
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NorCalDem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-12-06 03:50 PM
Response to Original message
2. Step away from the Keyboard and take a deep breath
it's not over yet so keep fightin! It may be damaged beyond recognition, but that doesn't mean it's dead :D

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baby_mouse Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-12-06 04:01 PM
Response to Reply #2
9. Ah, but it was a *funny* post, no? Yer laffed! Ya did!

:7

Just so long as you know what yer smilin' AT, bub ;-) me - not so much...
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gatorboy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-12-06 03:53 PM
Response to Original message
3. Awww, C'mon! The Religious Right have it made.
Edited on Wed Apr-12-06 03:58 PM by gatorboy
Bush drops the bomb and they sit back and just wait for the rapture (I have dibs on a few of their mansions, by the way...)
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magellan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-12-06 03:56 PM
Response to Reply #3
6. How much does it cost to become a religious rightie these days?
At this point I'd be tempted to join just to be assured of a seat on the forthcoming rapture bus. And if it doesn't show up, oh well, nothing lost.

:)
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baby_mouse Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-12-06 03:57 PM
Response to Reply #3
7. But I don't WANT bush to drop the bomb.

What's wrong with leaving Iran the way it is? It's only one silly politician. There are any number of easy ways to get rid of him.

I can't believe I just said that.
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gatorboy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-12-06 04:02 PM
Response to Reply #7
11. I have to be honest, I use to think this was just another Bush scam.
Edited on Wed Apr-12-06 04:04 PM by gatorboy
The religious part, I mean. He acts all holy and suckers the Right Wing Christian vote into electing him. I honestly thought he was grifting...

But now...I truly think he believes this HELPS. These people WANT the End of Times. In their minds, it's all good because they're the heavenly chosen anyway.

And if those mushroom clouds start showing up, it's like Magellen said: "Here comes the Rapture Bus. Last stop!" *beep beep!!!*
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baby_mouse Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-12-06 04:05 PM
Response to Reply #11
15. Weeee'lll meet agaaaaaain, Don't know where.... Don't know WHEEEEEEN


Yeah, and the big Churchill thing all those stupid pukes have. They're living in a giant nursery room of big baby ideas with soft, round corners...
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gatorboy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-12-06 04:15 PM
Response to Reply #15
24. You're from Scotland, right?
Before the bombs drop, remind me to give you my number. My wife is in love with Scots and I think you're accent will relax her during the upcoming Armegeddon. :P
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baby_mouse Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-12-06 04:19 PM
Response to Reply #24
27. I shall contact you repeatedly through my melted cellphone

And pester you lovingly with mutated renditions of "My Way", which will seem oddly appropriate.
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gatorboy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-12-06 04:22 PM
Response to Reply #27
30. She'd love it!
Nothing rocks her world like Sinatra reniditions by mutants. Mutants that look like David Grohl, anyway. :rofl:
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baby_mouse Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-12-06 04:27 PM
Response to Reply #30
33. I may sprout Debbie Harry heads during the interval.

I can see their dear little lipstick-encrusted green frothing lips mouthing the words to "Atomic" soundlessly through cancerous vocal chords! And we could we have some Tom Jones heads, too.
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BreweryYardRat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-12-06 04:05 PM
Response to Reply #7
13. Nope.
You have to consider all the insane cronies he surrounds himself with. Spanky McFucksock could choke on a pretzel tomorrow and Cheney would step in and keep going down the same path.

Oh, and watch out for DHS guys. :hi: ;)
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baby_mouse Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-12-06 04:12 PM
Response to Reply #13
21. Well, you know what, it's gonna make GREAT COPY.

Thousands of years from now the science finction and fantasy authors will have the richest fucking vein of fucked human ideation ever to pollute the sea of human experience! THAT'S somthing to be proud of, huh? Ring side seats for the demolition of the concept of Thinking about Shit Before you Do It! They'd want to interview YOU and ME, I'll bet. Truly we are blessed! XXXX :thumbsup: :D
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DianaForRussFeingold Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-12-06 04:02 PM
Response to Original message
10. Hey, Keep on Rockin' KeepHopeAlive..
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baby_mouse Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-12-06 04:03 PM
Response to Reply #10
12. Remember kids, down the forearm, not across the wrist. NT
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DianaForRussFeingold Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-12-06 04:14 PM
Response to Reply #12
23. Hey..NO! You Will Be Missed ..There is hope ..

I will miss you.We Need You..http://www.thetimesharebeat.com/street/takinmycountryback.htm Great Song;I’m Taking my Country Back I’M TAKIN’ MY COUNTRY BACK;
SON, YOU AIN'T BEEN DOIN’ HER RIGHT
OH I BEEN WATCHIN’ YOU AND I DON’T LIKE
HOW YOU'VE BEEN TREATIN’ MY STARS AND STRIPES
YOU TOOK OUR JOBS AND SENT ‘EM OVERSEAS
NOW WE OWE BILLIONS TO THE RED CHINESE
YOU BLEW THE BUDGET AND YOU BOTCHED IRAQ
SO I’M TAKIN’ MY COUNTRY BACK..NOW YOU DON’T KNOW MY NAME, BUT YOU KNOW WHO I AM
I'M YOUR EVERYDAY WORK HARD, PLAY HARD
RAISE KIDS AND PRAY HARD COMMON MAN....
AND LORD KNOWS I LOVE THIS LAND...THAT'S WHY

I’M TAKIN’ MY COUNTRY BACK
SON, YOU AIN'T BEEN DOIN’ HER RIGHT
OH I BEEN WATCHIN’ YOU AND I DON’T LIKE
HOW YOU'VE BEEN TREATIN’ MY STARS AND STRIPES
YOU SAY "UNITE" BUT YOU DIVIDE US MORE
CUSSIN' EACH OTHER ON THE SENATE FLOOR
AIN'T WE SUPPOSED TO BE ABOVE ALL THAT ?
HEY I’M TAKIN’ MY COUNTRY BACK
I GOT MY FAMILY AND MY CHURCH AND FLAG...
NOW I'M TAKIN' MY COUNTRY BACK.. "For those like me,who like country music again"..
..................................................................................................
Let's Get Together'song
http://education.apple.com/education/ilife/project_template.php?project_id=91&subject_id=1
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baby_mouse Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-12-06 04:21 PM
Response to Reply #23
28. I love you. But right now I want to copy your entire comment and splice

it into the OP, cos, to my mid, right now, it fits.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I want to die and go to a world here everyone is like you.
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deutsey Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-12-06 04:05 PM
Response to Original message
14. "It's probably God's will that civilization will grind to a standstill"
Edited on Wed Apr-12-06 04:05 PM by deutsey
Zappa lyric, BTW.

:evilfrown:

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baby_mouse Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-12-06 04:06 PM
Response to Reply #14
17. Ooh, dear. I do hope not. Mostly, I was enjoying it tremendously!

It seems like a bit of a waste.
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Kazak Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-12-06 04:06 PM
Response to Original message
16. Ah...transportation and air conditioning...
It was sure good while it lasted...

:puke:

This reminds me of a scene from a KV book (was it Hocus Pocus?) where the human race dies off, but the last remaining of the race emblaze, for the benefit of visiting extraterrestrial races, onto the side of the Grand Canyon: "We could have saved her, but we were too damned cheap!"
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baby_mouse Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-12-06 04:08 PM
Response to Reply #16
19. Lemon soaked napkins and pale blue convertibles.

Milan in the Spring, The Royal Ascot... ahh, such moments!

I wonder if you can make clothes out of the skins of radioactive corpses? I think I'd prefer that to rycling bin-liner plastic. At least it'd probably be warm.
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cassiepriam Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-12-06 05:03 PM
Response to Reply #19
37. I am gonna miss bubble baths and rainy days,
reading Pride and Prejudice for the millionth time.

The beach at sunrise, the first hummingbird of the season.

Bye Bye Earth, I am going to miss you.
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SheWhoMustBeObeyed Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-12-06 04:10 PM
Response to Original message
20. Only the director can call a wrap. That is set protocol.
You, OTOH, apparently got into a bad batch of granola bars at the goody table.

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baby_mouse Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-12-06 04:13 PM
Response to Reply #20
22. Darling, the Director has left the set.

And is screwing the nearest palm-tree. He's tripping and thinks it's Janet Jackson.

Want some granola? munch munch
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SheWhoMustBeObeyed Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-12-06 04:58 PM
Response to Reply #22
36. Then I'm back at Four Seasons and my phone is turned off.
BTW, it's not Ark Speigeltent.

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baby_mouse Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-12-06 06:18 PM
Response to Reply #36
38. Yes... I *know* it's not Ark Speigeltent.

It isn't ET, either.

Oh, I need an aspirin.
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originalpckelly Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-12-06 04:16 PM
Response to Original message
25. Breech of Contract! Alien Lawyers Sue Cast of "Life on Earth" (n/t)
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baby_mouse Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-12-06 04:22 PM
Response to Reply #25
29. Meddling jerks. Spy on your own freaks!

Or least give us a cut.
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politicaholic Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-12-06 04:19 PM
Response to Original message
26. No learning, no remembering, no future...
I've felt like that before.

good rant!
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baby_mouse Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-12-06 04:22 PM
Response to Reply #26
31. Well, I had just better be wrong, that's all.

Otherwise I shall be UPSET.
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originalpckelly Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-12-06 04:23 PM
Response to Original message
32. Breach of Contract! Alien Lawyers Sue Cast of "Life on Earth"...
Edited on Wed Apr-12-06 04:24 PM by originalpckelly
for ending show before terms of the contract. Although "Life on Earth" was supposed to end eventually the cast has recently shown signs they are getting close to ending it. This is millenia earlier than the contract states, and the Aliens have filed suit accordingly. Lawyers for both sides refused to talk about the matter on or off camera.

Tensions have been high on the set of "Life on Earth" since the Trinity test and the first A-Bomb deployments against Japan in the 1940s. It has been close many times since then, and the cast was prepared for the end countless times. Here is a video clip of one of those moments:

http://www.archive.org/details/DuckandC1951

It is unclear if the show will end within the next year, decade or if the cast will decide to carry out the rest of the contract.
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baby_mouse Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-12-06 04:31 PM
Response to Reply #32
34. Rumous that at least 5% of the cast are celebrity aliens in disguise

...have been dismissed as "completely nuts" and "wild speculation" by ORGLBLORZ MNCHKINDOAFL and PRGLAFAX WURBLELPLITZ of the Glurglebut Empire and the Snudleprick Union respectively, causing Galactic Shares in GULLIBALLOO, "Life on Earth"'s production company, to plunge through the floor.
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dogday Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-12-06 06:19 PM
Response to Original message
39. K&R
Great Piece---thanks for sharing...
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baby_mouse Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-13-06 03:59 AM
Response to Reply #39
40. Thank you, dear. xx
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