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demgurl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-16-06 08:27 PM
Original message
How do you track down an adoption?
Edited on Thu Mar-16-06 08:32 PM by demgurl
A bombshell was just dropped on me. My Great Aunt called to tell me, before she dies, she wanted me to know I have a half sister. She was born in Canada and I have an idea of the year (1962 & 1963) and I know the name on the birth certificate. Will I be able to track her down? Any advice/help is appreciated.
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stop the bleeding Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-16-06 08:29 PM
Response to Original message
1. do you mean adoption? n/t
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demgurl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-16-06 08:35 PM
Response to Reply #1
4. Yes, that is what I meant.
I am still on the phone with my great Aunt and made a mistake. Sorry.
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babylonsister Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-16-06 08:31 PM
Response to Original message
2. Wow. That must have been quite a surprise, demgurl. I wish
you the very best of luck tracking her down. I wish I had some advice, but am sure you'll get some help here.
Also, there's a Canadian forum on DU you might want to ask:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.ph...
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demgurl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-16-06 08:46 PM
Response to Reply #2
5. babylonsister.....
Thank you so much. It is quite a surprise, but a good one. I did post at the Canadian forum so thanks for that suggestion. Wish me luck.
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Hatalles Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-16-06 08:31 PM
Response to Original message
3. Wow... I don't have many ideas...
You could try www.zabasearch.com but this only searches the US. There is a fee to get the complete report. You might be able to find something similar for Canada too. I wish you the best of luck in your search. :)

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demgurl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-16-06 09:35 PM
Response to Reply #3
8. Hatalles, thanks for the well wishes.
I really hope I find her. Also, thanks for providing the link even if it is only for the US. You guys are the best.
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suffragette Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-16-06 08:55 PM
Response to Original message
6. Found some possibilities online
Don't know how good these are, but they may help to get started:

http://www.canadianadopteesregistry.org /
Once you click on enter, there are info links as well as searchable databases. Looks like the people who created it have been through similar, so contacting them may be helpful.

http://www.reunite.com/adoption-records/canadian-search...
Quite a few links


Also, Have you posted in the DU Canada froum? Someone there may have good suggestions.

Good luck and I wish you success.

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demgurl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-16-06 09:40 PM
Response to Reply #6
9. suffragette....
Could not find her name on the first one. At this point I am emotionally spent so I will try the second link tomorrow.

I grew up as an only child and always wanted a brother or sister. I knew my mom always enjoyed the company of men but I was flabbergasted she never told me about this. I can not even talk to her about it at this point because of different things that are going on and she refuses to speak to me because of them. It is an amazing thing to wake up an only child and to go to sleep knowing you have a sister. Usually you have about 9 months to adjust to something like that.

Thanks for your help and I will check out the second link tomorrow.
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suffragette Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-17-06 12:38 AM
Response to Reply #9
11. That's a huge amount of change and emotion in a day
I went through something similar a few years ago. I knew I had 3 half-siblings I thought I had never met, but didn't even know how many were male or female. After my father's death, we "found" each other (long story in itself) and it turned out we had known each other when young, but I thought I didn't remember, that is until one sister and I were talking and it turned out that a memory I had of myself, my father and someone I thought must have been a good friend of mine at the time (all my life guessing it must have been my friend, though it never felt entirely true), well, that memory was actually of myself and that sister. Boy, did we both cry at that realization. It's still choking me up a bit thinking of it.

While I was going through that time of change, a friend kept recommending I watch the film "Secrets and Lies." I was put off by the title, the closeness of the subject matter and the feeling it would be too hard. I didn't watch it until a year later. Wow, did it connect. I can highly recommend it and also note, don't be put off by what I was. It's both funnier and more touching than any review notes and it is quite cathartic.

It looks like there's some great suggestions downthread. Here's another link that might help: http://www.cyndislist.com/adoption.htm
Although it took so long to have these additional siblings in my life, it has ended being a great gift that we treasure all the more for realizing how close we came to never finding each other again. I truly hope it goes the same for you.
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Wheres The Beef Donating Member (64 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-16-06 09:12 PM
Response to Original message
7. Many resources on the net
Word of caution, like most things on the net there are a lot of scams! Don't send $ or a lot of personal info. Usually if the birth mother doesn't want to be found she can't be. However if she has registered and is willing you might be able to. I assume that you and your half sister have the same birth mother (as opposed to the same father) If you have a name and province in canada start there. One of the best resources for genealogy is the LDS church in Salt Lake City (ya, the Mormons)
One of our children is adopted and the records are sealed. Good Luck. We have been thru this and it can be frustrating.
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Samurai_Writer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-16-06 09:43 PM
Response to Original message
10. Google "search angels"
I do adoption searches in the US, and there is a group called the "search angels" that is made up solely of volunteers to help reunite people separated by adoption. It would be better to have the exact birth date. Is this half sister on your mom's side? Can you ask your mom about it at all? A lot of older birthmothers don't think they have the 'right' to search, so if you bring it up, she might be willing to help you. PM me if you want more info.
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hang a left Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-17-06 12:43 AM
Response to Original message
12. Here is a site
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hang a left Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-17-06 12:52 AM
Response to Reply #12
13. here is a link for a free preliminary search
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REP Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-17-06 12:53 AM
Response to Original message
14. Bastard Nation
Edited on Fri Mar-17-06 12:53 AM by REP
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demgurl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-17-06 06:18 PM
Response to Original message
15. Thank you, everyone.
I have gone over some more links today. I still have yet to find anything, but it is less than 24 hours since I found out that I have a new relative. I am, once again, emotionally tired so I will not be addressing each individual post.

For anyone who has said I can PM them, I will but it will take a couple of days. It is my son's birthday and all of this has taken a toll on top of everything in my normal life.

I appreciate all the support you have shown and please know I think of you all as my extended family. You folks truly inspire me.
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