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uppityperson Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-08-06 05:34 PM
Original message
My provider of abortions story
I worked for a while with a doctor who did abortions as part of their clinical practice. I would estimate I helped with 100 abortions. We did first trimester abortions, referring later ones out to another clinic set up for them. I helped with pre-abortion counseling, and with the actual procedure itself.

There were a couple people in that year that had more than 1 abortion, 1 person had 3 (out of about 100 abortions). We did contraceptive counseling as part of the whole kit and caboodle and the woman that had 3 in 1 yr made we providers talk amongst ourselves about choices, responsibility, and if abortion should be used as contraception. We each decided there were no easy answers.

1 couple came in because she was pregnant with twins and had miscarried 1. Rather than agonizingly wait for the second to miscarry, she wanted to clear out her uterus and start over. She ended up not getting an abortion that day, waited a week to see if she would miscarry the second, and came in for a D&C when it happened a week later.

1 woman went through the pre-abortion screening and counseling, then didn't show up. The anti-choice people had gotten to her. She ended up getting a second trimester abortion a few months later and was very very very traumatized by the whole thing, is still working with pro-choice matters years later.

1 woman was at the end of her reproductive yrs and was not able to raise a baby, and did not want to give birth to a probably downs syndrome baby. She sat up, waved and said "bye bye baby" after her abortion.

I held the hands of many women, encouraged them to breath during the abortion, listened to their stories.

I heard many different stories from many different women. Some were teens, some were 40's. Some in a committed relationship, some not. Some poor, some rich. Some highly educated, some not. For some the choice was easy, for some it was much more difficult but I do not know of any who needed intensive counseling after her abortion. Some came in with friends or family, some alone. A couple women got pregnant on purpose soon after their abortion (1 told me that she realized that she did want to have a baby, that having been pregnant and having an abortion helped her face and figure out issues in her life, and she did want to have a baby), most did not.

Realize this was a smallish town where everyone knows everyone else, and those of us who worked in this clinic were incredibly tight lipped about who and what and why we saw at the clinic.

The doctor I worked with quit doing abortions due to fear of getting the clinic firebombed or getting shot. I moved out of this state and got another job, still worked in family planning/contraception, etc, matters.

There are no simple answers beyond I strongly feel that the choice must remain a choice. Thank you all who have shared their stories. Thank you to all who have listened to others and let them make their own choices. Thank you to all who continue to work to keep this a choice.

To my 2 teenaged women friends who became pregnant before abortions were legal anywhere except NY and CA, I am sorry that 1 had to travel to NY with your parent for and abortions, and the other had your child in an "unwed mother's" home and gave up your baby for adoption. Thoughts of what you went through have influenced my life and my work.

To anyone who wants to take issue with me or use bits and pieces of what I have written for anti-choice use, I am sorry for you.
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ceile Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-08-06 05:43 PM
Response to Original message
1. Thank you for sharing.
I feel like one of the women you mentioned. I recently had an abortion and it has made me realize that I want a child more than ever, and soon. I didn't think that I'd feel that way. I hope I'm not having those feelings because of guilt, but nevertheless, that's how I feel.
My mom worked for an OBGYN and worked with him at a clinic a few times a month. Women like you and mt mom have truly inspired me to stand up for women's rights, and I thank you.
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uppityperson Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-08-06 05:47 PM
Response to Reply #1
2. There are no simple answers and nothing is right for everyone
Sometimes the timing is very wrong, for many possible different reasons. There are many reasons, and I hope the best for you. I never had an abortion, but would if I were to get pregnant now. Old eggs and an old parent are not a workable combination for me.
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Saphire Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-08-06 05:55 PM
Response to Original message
3. k & r....
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Just Me Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-08-06 05:57 PM
Response to Original message
4. I don't understand the advocacy to FORCE life into this,...
,...painful, confusing, uncertain and insecure "human-controlled" world? I just don't understand that.

Is the focus on non-life an avoidance of this life? Are people so disillusioned and callous about improving the quality of life for lives in being that they turn to trying to control the uncontrollable?

Explain these perceptions to me because,...I just do NOT understand.
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uppityperson Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-08-06 06:00 PM
Response to Reply #4
5. Do you mean...
Why is the emphasis on making more people rather than caring for the ones that are here?
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Just Me Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-08-06 09:07 PM
Response to Reply #5
12. Yes.
Thank you.
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ThomCat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-08-06 06:03 PM
Response to Original message
6. I'm very happy to read this.
I'm glad you wrote it.

We need to hear more of from the people on our side so that all the stories aren't anti-choice rants and propaganda.

I voluteered for years as a pro-choice escort outside one doctor's office. There was always a crowd of anti-choicers out there harrassing, threatening and assaulting the patients. I never knew anything about the women we helped get in safely through those protesters.

I have always believed that if we knew why they were there more people would be on our side. But it's not our place to force anyone to talk. We don't force anything on anyone, unlike the anti-choicers.
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uppityperson Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-08-06 06:06 PM
Response to Reply #6
8. my friend who made an appointment, didn't show and got a 2nd trim. ab
even though I wished she would've come in, felt she had thought it through adequately, still let her be since it was her decision to make. She was very angry at the anti-choicers and their propaganda, felt used and abused by them.
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Katherine Brengle Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-08-06 06:06 PM
Response to Original message
7. Thank you. My doctor's office...
is headed by a male doctor who used to perform abortions. Now he is a total fundie (but the two female nurse practitioners who work there are so wonderful, I haven't been able to make myself leave and find a new office).

It's nice to hear the side of someone who has done this work and does not regret it. Thank you for sharing that.
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Quakerfriend Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-08-06 06:07 PM
Response to Original message
9. Thank you for sharing this. I have been thinking about how this
will effect all of us (men and women).

Thankfully I have never had to have an abortion. But,looking back,I knew of 14 abortions (total), btw college roommates, friends and family. Several of my friends had 2-3 abortions. All but, 1, were young and unmarried. All were relatively well off and highly educated.

It just blows my mind to think about how their lives and the lives of their children might have been. CHOICE is so necessary.
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centristo Donating Member (500 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-08-06 06:32 PM
Response to Original message
10. i don't understand the term you used
"using abortion as contraception". What does that mean? Not using any birth control and just getting an abortion every time one gets pregnant?
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uppityperson Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-08-06 07:05 PM
Response to Reply #10
11. Yes.
It happens, rarely, but it happens. Out of 97 women that I saw, 1 did this. And she had a baby years later with no problems.
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BleedingHeartPatriot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-09-06 09:01 AM
Response to Reply #11
13. I've worked in Family Medicine and Ob/Gyn offices, and have seen young
women use the "morning after" prescription in a similar way.

At one clinic, one patient called about every 4-6 weeks, for her prescription. We tried to intervene and encourage her to use contraception instead of this method and she still kept up her own "method" of dealing with preventing pregnancy.

I really feel that, although I would never suggest this method as an ongoing contraception, it's evident this young lady does not want a child and should not be forced to have one, because we don't approve of her poor planning.

It's a struggle to stay non-judgemental, at times, with the poor choices that patients make, especially regarding something as important as reproduction. However, in the end, we are tasked with doing the best we can for our patients, regardless of our personal feelings. MKJ



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centristo Donating Member (500 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-09-06 11:35 AM
Response to Reply #13
14. argh
i'm definately pro-choice but I have a serious problem with that kind of irresponsible behaviour. Abortion should be the ultimate last resort, not just something done off-hand. Is there a way public policy can limit that kind of attitude or do we lose the ability to question one's motives when we declare ourselves to be "pro-choice"?

I understand that we don't want to judge, but aren't there limits? If a woman gets 12 abortions in a year (is that even possible?) isn't that a little too much?
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uppityperson Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Mar-09-06 01:28 PM
Response to Reply #14
15. I have had to question my attitudes, and an IUD question
I have had to question my attitudes about what does "choice" really mean, and, as I said above, have decided there are no easy answers, that there is no right answer every time.

Thinking of someone taking the the "morning after" prescription regularly, how is this different from using an IUD? Yes, it gives a high dose of female hormones, but some IUDs do also. But it also prevents her from getting pregnant in the some of the same ways IUDs do also (in both the egg and sperm may get together, leading to what is known in SD as a person).

So, why is one method considered wrong, and 1 ok?

Using first trimester abortion as a birth control method I find harder to stay non-judge mental on, but as BleedingHeartPatriot says, in the end, we are tasked with doing the best we can for our patients, regardless of our personal feelings. Legislating behavior is easier than legislating feelings, beliefs, ethics. Choice should remain available.

Thank you everyone for keeping this emotion laden topic civil.
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