Roll up... Offend an atheist competion

[dolgoruky]

Ok folks, it's time to put your thinking caps on. With this muslim cartoon fiasco growing into a cozy little firestorm, as an atheist I'd like you to try come up with your most offensive atheist cartoon or statement.

Winners will receive an all expenses paid trip to the Battered Cod fish and chip shop in Leigh, Lancashire.

On your marks, get set, (bang) go!

[Gman]

1. "The bed is on my foot!... The bed is on my foot!"

(Richard Pryor from an old Saturday Night Live Exorcist skit...)

[Straight Shooter]

2. I'll be praying for you.

:evilgrin:

[Fridays Child]

4. You beeyotch!

Now you've gone and done it! ;) :P

[Straight Shooter]

44. Heh.

Thank you. :P

[TallahasseeGrannie]

3. You atheist you!

You starvelling, you eel-skin, you dried neat's-tongue, you bull's-pizzle, you stock-fish--O for breath to utter what is like thee!-you tailor's-yard, you sheath, you bow-case, you vile standing tuck!

[EvolveOrConvolve]

29. Those are just regular ol' insults Grannie

Atheists are impervious to normal insults - they just wash right off us like guano off batman. :)

Although bull pizzle does get me a little worked up... :P

[DemonGoddess]

130. Didya know that

there are places where you can buy pizzle walking sticks? And that pet stores sell pizzle chews for dogs? LOL

[EvolveOrConvolve]

138. Are those brand names or {{ewwww}} the actual pizzle?

No dog that's been chewing on pizzle is coming anywhere near me with their tongue. :puke:

:)

[DemonGoddess]

145. the actual pizzle

same with the walking sticks

[OnyxCollie]

5. Okay, here goes.

GOD: I don't believe in you, either.

[donco6]

8. Ooooo, them's fightin' words!

Where'd I put my scimitar?

[Oeditpus Rex]

68. You lobbed it at some guy

who then went 'round claimin' 'e was an emperor.

[dolgoruky]

14. Hmmm...

... (looks at book of matches). Nope, I'm not feeling that offence thing yet. Pray continue.

[Inland]

6. I dunno. Some of the atheists posting on DU are already cartoonish.

I don't think I could do a better job with mere parody than the actual posts showing bigotry and intolerance and empirically false statements put foward under the banner of rationality, tolerance and science. If someone can do a better job than the self parody, it isn't me. Just saying.

[Taxloss]

15. Good work!

That was offensive!

[EvolveOrConvolve]

17. Point a couple out, I'd like to see them.

[TallahasseeGrannie]

107. Maybe post 40?

[EvolveOrConvolve]

139. Sure, that was insulting

to people of faith, but I was looking for actual bigotry - advocating the denial of christians the ability to vote or marry, for example. There are a lot of angry atheists on DU (sometimes I'm one of them :) ), but little in the way of real bigotry.

I'm really looking for a post where atheists advocate actual bigotry, rather than being rude or insulting. I could find a million posts of the latter from both sides.

[TallahasseeGrannie]

146. No, I've never heard any real bigotry

towards Christians, I don't think. Maybe some over the top "fuck 'em all" and stuff like that, but no serious suggestion that Christianity should be illegal.

Maybe once..but I think it was written in anger and not a real suggestion.

[EvolveOrConvolve]

147. Thanks, Granny, that was my point

And I wish sometimes that the anger level was turned down on both sides. It's far more productive to focus on the shenanigans of the right than it is to fight amongst ourselves.

[SixStrings]

157. I'll suggest it... Ban all religions. Maybe not the correct avenue

to get my desired result, but try this on for size:

Would you think any less of me if I were to go on record as saying I truly, truly wish I could live in a place where everyone around me was non-religious? Is there something wrong with that? To live in a community, a society that promotes health & well-being, living for today, the "golden rule" (I don't need no commandments or scripture to know right from wrong) instead of all the other stuff that seems to occupy a faithful person's life?
Am I a 'bigot' for feeling that way? What label can you tar me with if I am serious in my conviction that the religiously brianwashed ARE harming society and serve no useful purpose? Is it wrong for me to want to distance myself as far as possible from this mindset and the societal establishments, traditions etc. which bombard me daily?

[Warren Stupidity]

21. That was close to an insult. nt.

[Inland]

27. What, what did I miss?

I'd hate to have to try again, because even as an invitation to insult atheists I know that it would get linked a million times by the same people I was thinking of as "proof" that I hate atheists.

[Taxloss]

36. No, go on, try again.

:popcorn:

[Inland]

39. You trouble maker!

It's hard to imagine someone making trouble in a thread calling for insults, but you manage!

[TallahasseeGrannie]

100. You are very naughty.

Is that the five buck box of popcorn or the two buck?

[Taxloss]

113. Only $2.

Don't want to spoil my appetite.

[Warren Stupidity]

40. Judging from the reaction, not much.

I was merely giving you my reaction - which came close to my feeling insulted. Others actually took offense. I think you won. You can get back to your tooth fairy devotions now.

[Inland]

59. Well, thanks for the invite, but I don't do devotionals.

Are you sure that there isn't anything I can say that would bring some sort of snippy reaction with an unwarranted assumption on your part? Well, then, I won't try.

[Warren Stupidity]

64. yes. nt.

[TallahasseeGrannie]

104. Ah.... there it is. I knew it wouldn't be long.

Have a blessed day and stuff like that.

Now where DID I put that tooth?

[Warren Stupidity]

115. I try to make sure that we all get insulted.

I don't want anyone to feel left out. Have faith, the quarter is under your pillow.

[Warren DeMontague]

26. Wow. And some of the "religious" people on DU are totally full of it.

You know, just sayin'.

[TallahasseeGrannie]

38. Damn, Dude!

You are GOOD!

nuanced!

[Inland]

65. Well, I have claimed the prize, see no. 37, but

there's a conundrum at work, because the OP isn't responding.

[BiggJawn]

151. Who, me?

Gee, sorry I have trouble showing "tolerance" towards people who belong to a club that'd like to see me dead or in a camp...

I was hoping somebody'd post a cartoon of Darwin and Sagan in "Hell" shoveling coal with all these little fork-tailed Imps hanging around, but I haven't seen it yet...

[Inland]

155. Don't flatter yourself. nt

[Dr Fate]

7. "If you were in a fox hole you would be crying for Jesus and you know it!"

Or "Deep down you REALLY know HE is with you- you KNOW it."

That is about the best they can do- insult you by insisting your beliefs are not even valid and that all atheists are just repressed believers who are rebelling.

I'm not an atheist, for the record.

[donco6]

9. Y'know, when I went through cancer,

I purposely did NOT pray. Not once. Not even a little squeaker when that chemo kicked in. So the foxhole thing doesn't work for me.

[Dr Fate]

10. You control the energy well- awesome.

Weaker minds like myself still need abstracts and symbols to focus on to control it.

I still say its all the same shit.

[donco6]

12. It's all the same shit.

You're right.

[patdem]

13. When I had cancer I too did not pray..I thought of NATURE..and ANTS

of all things...how they are so absolutely altruistic because they are so closely related and that in the end it is the survival of ones DNA that matters and NOT some spiritual crap!

Anyway..my thought is an athiest goes to hell (you know the ABSOLUTE vision of hell, devil in red with tail and fires burning all around) and the athiest says..."Well I knew I shoulda hedged my bet, by the way where ARE all those 'Agnostics'"?

[TallahasseeGrannie]

46. I have always figured

that atheists don't believe in God.

which doesn't mean they don't believe in mystery, grandeaur, fate, and a host of other stuff that makes the world go 'round.

Atheist/believer to me is an artifical division. We all pee, poop, puke... cry, laugh, sigh, regret, feel joy. I don't think "God" gives a hoot, either. If he is perfect, then he has no vanity and he's cool with the endless search of the poor sods he threw down here on our own.

[donco6]

50. Not necessarily.

I believe in mystery and grandeur. Fate is another story. Frankly, I think belief in fate is one thing that PREVENTS the world from going around. It's immobilizing to believe that no matter what you do, what you choose, it's all going to work out the way it's "supposed" to work out. Ugh.

[TallahasseeGrannie]

96. I went to Dictionary.com

because I always thought of FATE as "what happens to you." Turns out your definition wins. Mine is second.



fate P Pronunciation Key (ft)
n.
The supposed force, principle, or power that predetermines events.
The inevitable events predestined by this force.
A final result or consequence; an outcome.
Unfavorable destiny; doom.
Fates Greek & Roman Mythology. The three goddesses, Clotho, Lachesis, and Atropos, who control human destiny.



Obviously atheists would NOT believe in a "supposed force, principle or power that predtermines events."

So I'll remove "fate" from my list as it is too ambiguous. I guess I mean "what happens, has happened." Unless you watch a lot of Star Trek, and that will really f* up your mind.

[donco6]

99. ha! I think my mind's already been f*cked with!

But now it's Battlestar Galactica.

[leeroysphitz]

83. I was in a foxhole and never cried for jesus...

I may have cried for my MOMMY :crazy: once or twice but I guess I forgot all about jesus...

[Bigmack]

131. Somebody used that on me...

... one time, not realizing I had more time in the shit than lots of folks.

Told them... "Sheeeeeiiit..... I ben there, and we all just figgured god was just some kinda Officer lookin' to fuck us over." His head spun!

I have to admit, it wasn't my comeback. A guy named Ellis gets the credit... posthumously.

[gatorboy]

11. I know an athiest who is a staunch Bush supporter

He has no problem with the current leadership using religion as a key of control. Just as long as dear ole Bushie keeps pertectin' us.... :eyes:

[dolgoruky]

19. Stand up atheists an be counted

Let me tell you a true story. Our families and friends were applying some pressure on my wife and I to get our son baptised. I said fine, let's compromise: we'll get him baptised so long as he can also join the communist party at the same time.

Strangely enough the pressure stopped.

[Kire]

45. welcome to DU, dolgoruky

is it prince dolgoruky, or simply dolgoruky?

[TallahasseeGrannie]

112. Now see, I would personally have shown up

with the papers to sign. My grandfather was a Communist. And an Episcopalian. Odd.

[unschooler]

156. I know republican atheists, too.

A lot of them talk the "libertarian" line, but when votin' time comes, they're as republican as any fundy.

[BlueJazz]

16. Every time someone asks me if I'm an Atheist, I say "Swear to God"

[JAbuchan08]

18. YOu know I don't go out of my way to offend the religious

but sometimes they get mad when I speak too freely. Maybe the reason it requires deliberation to offened athiests is the fact that they are not as thin-skinned as some religious people.

[FlaGranny]

22. It's hard to offend an atheist.

If you do try to offend him, he'll probably tell you to you're entitled to your opinion and he's entitled to his. On the other hand, most people probably don't realize they even know any atheists. Most tend to keep quiet about it.

[dolgoruky]

34. I'm an atheist...

and I wouldn't say I'm thick-skinned. Maybe the reason why it's harder to offend atheists is because there's nothing to offend. I mean, it's to criticize something which doesn't exist. Lot's of people don't agree with my opinions, sure. But why should that offend me? In fact, when someone deliberately resorts to statements intended to cause offence, I laugh because I know I've got them on the ropes.

[JAbuchan08]

79. Well you did manage to offend me. I didn't realize it was a joke

As an athiest very little offends me, but the idea of a competition to deliberately offend athiests pissed me off.

Now I'm feeling very silly. I'm sorry for alerting you :blush:

[Warren Stupidity]

84. Have faith in the moderators.

Oops sorry, you can't.

[TallahasseeGrannie]

114. Personally

the only way you, as a nonbeliever, could offend me, a person of faith, is to make fun of me. But that's just bad manners and you wouldn't do that.

[greiner3]

148. I used to take to heart old Ben's attitude;

That you should never make fun of anyone's religion. However, after living on this planet for, let's say too many, I have come to the conclusion that religion, especially the organized type, NEEDS to be made fun of. No offense given!

[TallahasseeGrannie]

154. You can make fun of my religion

but don't make fun of me and my beliefs. That's all I ask.

I don't make fun of atheists. Very much.

Because basically atheism is a religion.


ahahahhahahha


running and hiding



just kidding


I really don't believe that. At least I've never seen an atheist church and you all don't tithe and stuff.

[Domitan]

20. Easy

On a day of incredible disaster that affected many, just say "God bless us all".

One guy said this on 9/11 with intent of praying for the victims and survivors. Pissed off quite a few atheists as being grossly offensive.

[Inland]

25. That's my number 6.

[Warren DeMontague]

31. Really. Where'd ya hear that? On AM Radio? Hannity's show, perhaps?

What a crock of shit. I don't know ANY atheists who give a flying fuck about people saying "God bless us" or the Preznit saying "God Bless the United States of America". Or ANY who really care about "God" being on our money, for that matter.

What we DO care about is creeping theocracy in this country-- unscientific flarm being peddled to public school kids in science class under the guise of "intelligent design", Jesus drunk fundies handing out lectures to women instead of birth control pills, blathering nincompoops insisting that the United States is a "Christian Nation" and the First Amendment doesn't really mean what it says, that kind of thing.

But if it makes you feel better to grind your axe against these caricatures of atheists who get bent out of shape by someone saying "God bless us all" after 9-11, go right ahead.

[Domitan]

42. You're dead wrong

If you don't believe me, go to www.phlogredux.org and bring up this topic, then your naive viewpoint will fade.

[Warren DeMontague]

106. Ooooh! You're right! Those Atheists are bad people!

And they're clearly the problem, in the world today.

:eyes:

[Domitan]

126. Again you're dead wrong

Did I say they were bad people? Pray tell me where I said that. Those guys there are actually my net buddies of 10 years. They just happen to have very strong militant views regarding religion, but they do argue their points very well (even though I don't agree with some of them).

[Warren Stupidity]

62. I'll disagree with that.

I actually can't stand the phony peity of politicians with their 'god blesses' and staged demonstrations of choir boy status. Given our march to theocracy, while I would have agreed with you a few years ago that all the bullshit godliness was a minor issue, I now want all of it gone - from the dollar, from the pledge, from our government ceremonies - all of it is wrong and unconstitutional.

[Katherine Brengle]

70. I agree...

When politicans make speeches calling for policies that will have serious negative effects over the lives of many American citizens and many other citizens of the world, and cap it off with "God Bless America" I just want to stab myself in the neck with a fork... seriously.

It's blatant pandering, and the saddest thing is that there are a huge number of GOP supporters out there who eat up every word...

[Warren DeMontague]

108. Right. "I voted for George Bush- he cut my health benefits, outsourced my

job, tapped my phone, detained my neighbor without charges, and tortured his way through a bloody, illegal war.. Why? Because he's a Christian!"

[TallahasseeGrannie]

125. I know he calls himself a Christian

but so has every other President in my lifetime. I don't think his evil deeds were done because he is a Christian. There's a faulty logic in that.

[Warren DeMontague]

134. You misunderstand me.

I've read essentially that sentiment, over and over, coming from so-called "heartland" voters when asked WHY they voted for Bush. The irony is that they say "because he's a good Christian" while blithely ignoring all the horrible shit he does.

[TallahasseeGrannie]

137. Okay, I did misunderstand you

gotcha now and agree.

[TallahasseeGrannie]

123. Yes, I agree

it is pandering, with most of them. But they have the right to say it.

Now, the money and the pledge...it needs to go.

[Warren DeMontague]

103. It doesn't belong in the pledge, that's for sure.

In the pledge you're talking about a coerced (I don't care what the SCOTUS says, that's the reality) affirmation and schoolkids. I certainly find the excessive insertion of references to the Deity and Jesus a little off-putting, to say the least- particularly when "our folks" do it, as shameless pandering to these so-called 'values voters' who aren't nearly as powerful or numerous as some would have us believe.

But the "ceremonial Deism" of the occasional and traditional "God Bless the United States" or "In God We Trust" (The irony of needing God on the MONEY shouldn't be lost on some folks. After all, according to the televangelist crowd, for an infinite, omnipotent, immortal being, he sure seems to need a lot of it) doesn't get my knickers in such a bunch. If I'm ever elected President, I won't say it. But I've got bigger fish to fry, personally.

[TallahasseeGrannie]

119. As a Christian, five years ago

I would have told you it was unimportant. Now I think it would make a statement. It DOES need to be gone. A statement needs to be made. No religion, not Christianity, not Islam...no religion should take precedence over our rights. And the only way to secure that I have the right to worship Christ and not wear a burqua is to help assure that the government has no ... ABSOLULTELY NO religious agenda.

See, we agree on something!

[Warren Stupidity]

121. Oh we agree on a lot.

Now go look under your pillow, I think the tooth fairy upped it to a whole dollar!

[Warren DeMontague]

23. Here's something offensive:

George W. Bush, expert on evolution and global warming-- pretending to care about "Science Education"

[ktlyon]

24. sorry can't do it

it is all about respect

[Ksec]

28. God loves you..even if you dont believe in him...

I have an idea for this challenge.

Lets put an Athiest in a foxhole with a bomb seconds away from impacting on his head and the caption reads.

"Oh God. Help me Lord"

So theres no God eh?
:)

[Warren DeMontague]

32. You're kidding, right?

That "No atheists in foxholes" canard isn't actually offensive, but it IS pretty fucking weak.

[rexcat]

132. More than weak..

just plain ignorant!

[eppur_se_muova]

43. An atheist would RUN, not pray.

If you wanna say "it's in God's hands" go ahead, but if you don't believe in God you've at least got no excuse for not trying to deal with your own problems.

[Inland]

48. I'd be trying both.

I'd be hoping that being on knees wasn't a requirement for the prayer. But then again, if I were in a falling elevator, I'd try jumping at the moment before it hit bottom, too. I don't think the foxhole thing shows much, by those standards.

[eppur_se_muova]

69. Well, yeah, you can't blame someone for covering his bets. nt

[Inland]

72. Right. But that's all it is.

When hope is miminal, even a possibility that one knows isn't going to work is tried. That's why the foxhole statement, true or not, doesn't say much good about belief.

[eppur_se_muova]

87. True, and didn't mean otherwise.

And if I turned out to be wrong, well, it would just be lame to "take it back". Guess I'd have to owe him one. :)

[Inland]

95. There's a passage in Rabelais

where the rogueish character is in danger of shipwreck, and promises Saint Barbara a chapel if she will save him. Well, they make it to shore, and the character is reminded of his oath and he says that they misunderstood, that he promised a "chappel", which is a word for a skin of wine, which he would certainly start drinking immediately.

Which lead to the quote of what was apparently the old saying, "the danger over, we bilk the saint."

It's the only thing I remember, except for the discourse on the best thing with which to wipe one's ass. Turns out to be a downy goose.

[TallahasseeGrannie]

124. Listen, I raise

geese. And if you tried to wipe your bottom with one you'd lose your family jewels. Geese are mean and not easily amused.

[Warren Stupidity]

52. Equally likely to say 'oh shit'

Hard to draw any conclusions about the reality of your favorite divinity from the expletives escaping the lips of the doomed. Perhaps we ought to worship giant turds?

[donco6]

53. Wouldn't occur to me.

Even with a bomb.

[greiner3]

150. I haven't heard that in 40 years;

That was back before I KNEW I was an atheist. I knew it was wrong on so many levels then. As a thinking and reasoning being, sure that there is no supreme being, I can reassure you, me and anyone else that will listen that that statement is wrong and so is the weak argument underlying it. What a morally ineptitude series of statements you have chosen to bore us with. And that is to someone whom I probably agree with in the majority of cases. Don't let me get started on someone who is a REPUG FUNDIE!

[progressoid]

30. Well, there are a number of us that get annoyed at that old canard:

"Atheism is a religion". But, I would hope none of us would launch a jihad over it.

Beyond that, I ignore most things I hear or see since they are preposterous.

[buddhamama]

33. i am an atheist as well

in the way of religion not much offends me; inequality and injustice however, do.

[eppur_se_muova]

35. Best effort of all time, I suppose, is that old epitaph ...

"Here lies an atheist, all dressed up with no place to go."

Of course, he didn't dress himself, so it's funny to theists but atheists just :shrug: and say "shame to waste good clothes like that".

PETA will be contacting you about the battered cod.

[buddhamama]

67. TMBG

would say: No one is going to change my clothes for me, ever, anymore.

kinda along the same lines. :)

[Inland]

37. With no. 26, 17 and 40, I claim the prize, and with the further virtue of

not stating "the most offensive statement" I could possibly imagine but something that I have said in other threads and therefore declines the invitation to a general flame war between believers and atheists.

As I cannot actually use the prize, English food being inedible, please convert the cost of the dinner into a contribution made to your favorite charity run along atheist principles.

[Warren Stupidity]

81. #71 might give you a run.

But it may not have been intended as an insult, so it might have to be disqualified.

[Inland]

91. Nonsense!

The definition of atheism is not believing in a diety, not being this, not being that, and any attempt to give it a positive content comes close to a compliment. An insult would be to say that there's no there there. That was the point of the hospitals joke, and the point of my comment on the gift given to the atheist charity. It wasn't funny, but it was poignant.

[Warren Stupidity]

93. Well I guess I've figured out how to insult a theist. nt..

[billybob537]

41. You believe what you want

I believe I'll have another. CHEERS

[dysfunctional press]

47. Athiests are THE MOST persecuted minority in the U.S.-

an admitted athiest has exactly ZERO chance of winning an election in a country full of mush-headed weak-minded theists.

[rayofreason]

51. So not winning an election...

...is persecution?

So to end persection we should force people to vote for a candidate with whom they do not agree!!!!

Brilliant!!!

[Warren Stupidity]

54. I think the point was that

atheists are about as electable as pederasts.

[rayofreason]

73. Would you say...

...that an atheist is unelectable in Berkeley? (A Republican atheist, yes.)

It is all about community standards. To say that you a "persecuted" because people disagree strongly with your philosophy and as a result do not want you to be thier elected representative is ridiculous beyond belief. You may argue that the voters are close-minded, and you may be right, but to be elected to represent a community is a privilege, not a right.

[Warren Stupidity]

78. There is probably somewhere

where pederasts are electable too. However I agree that electability is not a good proof of persecution. It is a symptom. I wonder if you have any idea what it is like to grow up atheist? You learn pretty quick to keep your lack of religion to yourself.

[dysfunctional press]

142. not having representation is the beginning of persecution, yes.

openly gay candidates are elected, candidates of every race are elected, but there is NO place in the U.S. where openly atheist candidates are electable.

[eppur_se_muova]

55. SUPPORT RELIGIOUS FREEDOM...ELECT AN ATHEIST

How long would that bumper sticker take to bring out the law-breaking vandal in those stout Christian hearts ?

[Warpy]

57. Atheists are legally forbidden from running for office in several

states. I doubt it would survive a constitutional challenge, but that law is on the books now in many states and counties.

[GreenPartyVoter]

97. I think those laws are absurd. Time to get them out of there.

[dysfunctional press]

143. won't happen-

not until athiests are elected.

[rayofreason]

49. Monty Python..

..had a skit about finding a derogatary term for "Belgians". My favorite was "The Phlems"

My entry for your contest is "I love how they used your picture in this fund-raising brochure for Bob Jones University"

One last contribution with only a tenuous connection to the topic at hand --- Descartes walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Would you like a drink?" Decartes says "I think not", then disappears.

[eppur_se_muova]

61. LOL! Best.Descartes.joke.ever.

If Descartes had not existed, it would have been necessary to invent him. -- Bustopher Jones

[GreenPartyVoter]

109. *lol*

[rpgamerd00d]

56. I cant specifically insult athiests, but I can insult everyone else with:

Bumper Sticker:

"Nuke Gay Baby Seals for Jesus!"

:)

(note: its a joke!)

[Swede]

58. You're going to hell dolgoruky.

nt.

[genie_weenie]

60. Hmmmm

Secular Humanism it's what the Queer Eye for the Straight Guys Practice...

63. Q: how many athiests does it take to open a hospital

A: Zero. Athiests don't open hospitals.
:evilgrin:

[Warren Stupidity]

66. ?

There ought to be a second category for lamest insult.

[GreenPartyVoter]

71. "Atheists and believers both have faith, just that atheists have faith God

isn't out there."

[eppur_se_muova]

74. If you believe something is true, it's because you have a reason.

If you have no reason to, you don't believe.

[Warren Stupidity]

76. I can't decide if that is an intentional insult or not.

But on the off chance that this was your entry in the contest, I think you might have gotten second place.

[GreenPartyVoter]

80. Well I have had many conversations with atheists around here and

this one seems to be at the head of the list for a lot of them. Oddly, many liberal believers (and until recently including myself) have no idea that this is an offensive statement in atheistic circles. I think mainly it is a very awkward way of saying that no one can either prove or disprove God's existence.

[Warren Stupidity]

82. yes but this is a contest.

If that was an entry you have to say so. Otherwise we won't know if we should be really insulted or not.

[GreenPartyVoter]

85. That was an entry. Plus I set it in quote marks so people would

know it's not really me saying that.

[lindisfarne]

89. Most atheists take the view that there is no real evidence of god

(so-called miracles and the bible simply are not evidence), thus without proof of existence, god does not exist. You probably have the same approach regarding your lack of belief regarding life on the moon: no real evidence has been put forth, thus your position is that there is no life on the moon. Most atheists would also probably state that the probability of there being some kind of life on the moon is far greater than the probability of god's existence. However, if you changed the analogy to the probability of their being human-like creatures living on the moon, that would be more comparable to the probability of a god existing: essentially nil.

Most atheists take the position that absence any kind of proof of god's existence, god does not exist. Just like you don't believe in the existence of human-like creatures living on the moon because no proof of such creatures has been found.

(If you believe in miracles, how do you know they're not the work of human-like creatures on the moon, rather than god? How do you know the bible is not just a bunch of stories passed down by oral tradition, modified as necessary to serve political needs, religious needs, etc. (in the same way that Beowulf was passed down by oral tradition and modified along the way - essentially, an extended game of telephone). ...in the same way that various translations of the bible choose to poorly translate certain passages, or various preachers choose to interpret the bible to reflect their own views?)

[TallahasseeGrannie]

135. But as a person of faith I am open

to the concept that God might be a creature on the moon. A really powerful creature. Because I have no idea where he hangs out.

I used to think as a child that we were all bacteria under God's microscope. Maybe that is how I alligned science with religion!

Now, personally I have proof that God exists. So your theory doesn't hold water with me. The proof is personal, not for sharing...and you never know, I might be delusional.

[lindisfarne]

140. Science depends on "proof" (evidence) that isn't personal, proof which can

be shared and verified. Faith can be based on "proof" which is personal. I have no problem with people having faith (as long as that faith is not imposed upon me in any way, or dissemenated by the government), but I don't confuse science (and scientific evidence) with faith (or "personal proof").

The point of my previous message was not whether or not god can be a human-like creature on the moon. Rather, the point was the likelihood (probability) of there existing human-like creatures on the moon.

[Benfea]

88. "Atheism/science takes just as much faith as religion does"

At least, that's usually the way I see that same sentiment worded. To be honest, it doesn't offend me, as all it does is display the ignorance of the speaker.

[GreenPartyVoter]

90. Sadly, I had to pass a college course in physics via faith.

Seriously. All I could do was rote memorize the formulae and believe they were true because deeper understanding of them completely eluded me, which sucks because I am a real fan of science and technology. (Same goes for music and singing. I love those things but don't have the talent for them.)

[Warren Stupidity]

92. I got a 26 on my final and it was a 'B'. eom.

[GreenPartyVoter]

94. Wow.. That's some curve they were grading on. I harbor hopes that

my kids will be better with math, science, and technology than me. In fact, I want them to invent the replicators from Star Trek. :^D

[Inland]

102. I passed frosh calculus via marxism. The TA was a trotskyite

and, one would think from my really crappy performance, unable to flunk anyone no matter how deserving. Probably some A student got a B to even it out.

[GreenPartyVoter]

105. *lol* Sorry, I just got a vision of long lines of college students

waiting to get their grade ration.

[Inland]

111. That's about right. Not my proudest moment

and I've always toyed with the idea of actually learning the material someday. I saw Calculus for Dummies and almost picked it up.

[GreenPartyVoter]

117. I think I will stick with the age old ploy of living vicariously thru my

offspring. I don't think I can ever face higher math again in my life.

[Benfea]

110. That's funny. I majored in math/physics because you don't HAVE to memorize

The very little you had to memorize was the occasional equation, which could often be derived on the spot in fairly short order. That's why you pay attention when the professor does the proofs, it's more important to remember how to get there (and easier) than it is to memorize what's at the destination.

[TallahasseeGrannie]

129. I like that

it sums it up perfectly. Because, after all, who knows?

[Tsiyu]

75. I think this was supposed to ber all in fun?

I am agnostic, playing with atheism, and able to quote a lot of bible verses under pressure.

But I think that FUN is lost on some folks around here....

[Warren Stupidity]

77. No this is a very serious thread. nt.

[GreatCaesarsGhost]

86. god is so great that if he didn't exist,

man would have to invent him.

i said that old adage to a fundie once and it went right over his head and he agreed.

[Inland]

98. I claim the prize again, see posts 91 and 93. In before the lock.

When do I get my acknowledgement?

[Warren Stupidity]

118. have faith

[AngryAmish]

101. Why did the atheist get shot?

'Cause he was so damn stupid!

[Warren Stupidity]

116. you just beat #63

Find the OP and claim your prize for the lamest insult.

[rpgamerd00d]

120. OK I got one.

(Note: this is just for the contest)

Faith is the basis of Trust.
Athiests have no Faith, and therefore no Trust.
How can I trust someone that is incapable of reciprocating that trust?

[Warren Stupidity]

fills me with inertia. Inland is still the winner.

[skids]

122. Does Live Action count?

Cause if so, I'll fire up GIMP and give it a go:

[TallahasseeGrannie]

133. Gimp ROCKS

I run a lab and use it.

[skids]

136. Indeed.

It's gotten much more useful over the last few years. Though figuring out the interaction between layers and cut and paste doubtless throws a lot of novice users even with the layers dialogue. (EDIT: my Zod avatar was a fun lesson in getting that right.)

As far as the above, I guess not enough people know about the "Center for Inquiry" for the humor to register. As far as I can tell, I haven't offended one atheist yet by pointing out the disturbingly religionesque trends in their own movement, even in an unfairly hyperbolic fashion. Sigh.

[Hamlette]

127. here's why it can't be done

it used to bug me when people would say I really did believe in god (no atheist in a foxhole) or that I couldn't be moral if I didn't believe in god...which I took as an insult.

then it occured to me, if you can believe in god, you can believe in anything...even that some of us really don't believe or that believing in god makes people moral.

I just don't listen anymore.

[Wrinkle_In_Time]

128. As a devout* Atheist...

... I vote for #71 and #88. Nicely phrased! A couple of things that offend me as a non-theist are references to:
1) atheism/non-theism as being just another Religion.
2) the question "How can atheists/non-theists have any morals without religion to guide them"?

The response to 1) is “Atheism is a religion like not collecting stamps is a hobby.” (from an e-mail to James Randi). The response to 2) is a kick in the gonads*. Being right hurts, huh?

Other favourite quotes on atheism:

“I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours.”
~ Stephen Roberts

“I'm a polyatheist - there are many gods I don't believe in”
~ Dan Fouts

“I'm an atheist and I thank God for it.”
~ George Bernard Shaw

“She believed in nothing; only her skepticism kept her from being an atheist.”
- Jean-Paul Sartre

Must-see documentaries on Atheism/Non-theism and Religion:
a) Jonathan Miller's 3-part “Brief History of Disbelief” and the follow-up extended interviews “The Atheism Tapes” provide a great historical and personal viewpoint.
b) Richard Dawkins' 2-part “The Root of all Evil” just takes the gloves off.

* Just kidding

[Steve A Play]

141. "Atheists make lousy lovers, they have NO imagination!"

:P

Steven P.

[greyl]

152. That one's not bad. :)

I'm an artist and musician, and statements of that attitude are always the most bothersome.
Because they're so fucking ignorant, ya know. :)

[NuttyFluffers]

144. well, i don't dig this contest, because it just whips out stereotypes...

but i'll give it a try (fyi, i don't believe any of these, but we're going for insulting, poor taste, and false generalizations):

atheists have killed more people in sheer numbers in their genocides, under stalin and mao et al, than any religion ever did (population in the past 200 years dwarfs anything in our violent historical past). therefore atheism is empirically more dangerous and evil than theism. therefore, according to their 'blind faith' in empirical facts they should be believers in god because otherwise they are too dangerous to be a part of healthy society.

atheists do not know how to believe in anything beyond themselves.

atheists cannot understand the value of sacrifice and charity.

they are obviously devoid of empathy and humanity and thus must be inherently selfish. their selfishness is a danger to society more than any good believer can be.

atheists cannot possibly know love, they only believe it is chemicals forcing mating behavior. they must be crappy lovers.
---------------------------------------------------

gross generalizations are poor ways to build bridges. none of this is really funny, but perhaps it shows a little bit of how bad humor isn't the best way to engage people. mirth brings down tension, and shattering our sacred cows is a good way to lighten up. bad humor does nothing of the sort -- and is an insult to the art. i'd much prefer this topic and the mohammed cartoon topics just faded away and we can all start again.

[mzmolly]

149. This is easy:

;)

[rzemanfl]

153. The most offensive statement happened in 1954 when the words

"under God" were added to the Pledge of Allegiance. Everything since has been minor.