With all due respect, your candidate sucks

[JeffR]

Sorry to be the one to break this to you, but your candidate really, really, really sucks.

Please give up on this fool's errand you're running, and throw your support to my candidate instead. Should you disregard this advice, well, I'm sorry to say, you suck too.

Thank you.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

1. Oh, you're wrong. YOUR candidate sucks, not mine.

Your candidate doesn't have a chance, because he sucks. Therefore you need to stop tilting at windmills and support my candidate, you silly person.

[JeffR]

12. MY candidate is red hot

Your candidate is doodly-squat.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

23. Your candidate's mother swims after troop ships.

Your candidate wears bunny boots to Mass.
Your candidate so ugly, cats try to bury him.

[JeffR]

36. My candidate is a person of immense charisma, charm & dignity

Sparrows and squireels fall hypnotized from the trees when my candidate walks by.

My candidate can turn back hurricanes and bend spoons with mind-power.

[uppityperson]

2. need to cross post here

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=364&topic_id=2907341&mesg_id=2907341

[JeffR]

37. That thread's too good

Besides, everyone already admits, privately if not publicly, that my candidate is the one.

[uppityperson]

51. Good job to you also, this was needed. Thanks.

Your candidate IS the one, the one to change the oil in my car!

[JeffR]

52. My candidate can do that too

with a blindfold on.

Thanks!

[Atman]

3. Oh, B.S., Jeff!

That post just proves that you hate candidates! You candidatist!

.

[JeffR]

13. I am not a candidatist

There's one candidate I don't hate... mine.

[Mojambo]

4. What my candidate does in the privacy of their own home is their business!

:P

[JeffR]

14. Not I want to know

what your candidate did. Was it, um... sexual in nature?

[Kelly Rupert]

5. Oh, no. Your candidate is unelectable. In 2006 the people spoke,

and they gave my candidate a mandate. Your candidate is human filth.

[JeffR]

38. Your candidate's mandate is a ship adrift at sea

about to run aground on the sturdy rocks of my candidate's candidacy.

[loudestchick]

64. Kelly's mandate is named Jeff Gannon...bwahahaha!!!

:hide:

[JeffR]

6. YOU ARE ALL WAY OFF BASE

All your candidate are belong to us!!!!!!

[Lilith Velkor]

68. Someone set up us the candidate!!

You have no chance to vote make your time

mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!

[Patsy Stone]

7. Janet Doobydoo speaks for me!

Forget Bibby Bobbo.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=364&topic_id=349888&mesg_id=349888

[JeffR]

16. I'll go as far as to support Janet Doobydoo for a cabinet position

and nothing more.

[Patsy Stone]

21. Some here

will argue.

[Maven]

72. That really was one of the best posts ever.

And I STILL support Janet Doobydoo!

[Patsy Stone]

79. It really was

And the responses were priceless: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=364&topic_id=349888&mesg_id=350633

[NanceGreggs]

8. MY candidate is the ONLY candidate ...

... just like MY opinion is the ONLY opinion.

I hope I've made myself abundantly clear.

[JeffR]

17. Yes, ma'am

Please can I have another?

[undeterred]

9. Your candidate is ugly and fat.

You should sign a petition to support my candidate. He has more money anyway.

[JeffR]

18. And where did he get that money, hmm?

WHORING ON K STREET, that's where.

[snowbear]

10. Hey Jeff..

[JeffR]

20. So you resort to lewdness because you can't defend your candidate

That's sad.

(and damn funny)

[snowbear]

25. U say somethin' ?

[JeffR]

39. Even your smilies will support my candidate eventually

x(

[undeterred]

11. Your candidate is undercooked and causes disease.

[Atman]

15. Bill Clinton wasn't undercooked.

But he WAS overblown!

*ba-doom*

.

[JeffR]

22. My candidate is delicious and nutritious and low in transfats

So there.

[youthere]

78. But the latest studies prove that your candidate..

has been known to cause cancer in laboratory rats.

[uppityperson]

19. all your candidates suck.

their names are funny and they look funny and no one with any brains would ever think of supporting them

[Left Is Write]

24. Your candidate has cooties. My candidate is handsome and smells good too.

[JeffR]

40. Your candidate smells like something found at the back of the fridge

Handsome, OK maybe, but whew, I wouldn't want to stand downwind of your candidate.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

26. All your candidate are belong to us.

[babylonsister]

27. #5 here. Thanks for the relief!

:rofl:

[JeffR]

41. DON'T FORGET TO VOTE

I'm series!!!111

[bullwinkle428]

28. I'm supporting Old Relish Packet, come hell or high water!!

:evilgrin:

[JeffR]

42. If I didn't already have the GREATEST candidate

I could get behind that idea.

[ms liberty]

29. Your candidate's mother was a hamster...

and his/her father smelled of elderberries! Now go away, or I shall taunt you again!

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

30. Not to mention that your candidate's hovercraft is full of eels.

[JeffR]

43. So you won't vote for someone just because of some rodent ancestry?

I can't believe this...

[immoderate]

31. Your candidate would make an acceptable vice president...

on my candidate's ticket.

--IMM

[JeffR]

45. I think you got that ticket upside down. Lemme turn it over for you.

There. That's better.

[Melissa G]

32. Your candidate has ties to BFEE, Hitler, Delay, Abramscoff, Newtie

and eenie meenie minie moe...where do you think the money for your candidate came from anyway??? Huh Huh???

[JeffR]

46. And my candidate's not only unashamed about it, but proud

:P

[Melissa G]

77. And That Enormous Ego and Pride will be the death...The Flaming

Fiery...going down to Hell...Death of your oh so wicked candidate...

[bridgit]

33. ya'know, i was thinking the same thing, plus my candidate is a duuph anyhow so i'm...

thinking of generating some names of candidates with like a random scheduler er'somethin, then i'll draw a 10' circle on the pavement with some pretty pink chalk in a light breeze, then which ever ones fall inside the circle after i toss them into the air; i'll put those names, if any, into a black silk top hat and have Timmy, my cat, pick what looks like the best ones to him then i'll play 'eenie, meanie, mynie, mo'...now that's democracy :thumbsup:

[JeffR]

47. Makes as much sense as the Electoral College & voting machines

!

[MzNov]

34. But your candidate's middle name is Cheatem.

[JeffR]

48. Rhymes with Beatem

[Printer70]

35. My candidate can hold a large woman down....

...against her will for upto 3 hours. Is goood? J'acqui!

[JeffR]

49. OK, that is sort of impressive

I guess.

[undeterred]

53. But Nancy Pelosi isn't really a large woman and neither are Hillary or Condi!

So what good is it?

[alittlelark]

44. Damn, I was in an elevator w/ your candidate....GAAASSSSS

Damn, I was barely able to make it out alive.


Your Candidate STINKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[JeffR]

50. That has been an issue at campaign rallies

but there's a whole team of Inside-the-Beltway insiders working on the problem.

[maine_raptor]

54. Sir, Might I suggest to you, that in fact, your Candidate is Dead.

He passed on after a prolonged squawk (speech).

Please remove him from the TV studio at once, under the lights he's beginning to bloat.

[JeffR]

55. My candidate is just resting...

for the rigors of the coronation, er - election season that is nearly upon us.

[loudestchick]

62. Resting? Resting? He's been nailed to his perch!!! He's an ex-candidate! Face it.

Now, my candidate is full of vim, vigor and viagra...he's potent, I tell ya'.

[JeffR]

65. OK, lemme guess

Your supporting Bob Dole???!!!???

[Alamom]

56. I will only support Asparagus.......I really hate to say this, but if

any other veggies are nominated, I will do something I have never done in 34 years of voting.....

I WILL VOTE FOR CARBS:*

[JeffR]

57. Now there ya go casting Asparagus about my candidate

I was afraid this would get nasty.:scared:

[Alamom]

58. It's been nasty, but I've heard the HOUSE is about to be cleaned

like it's never been cleaned before.......a new sweeper is in town.
I'm series , don't worry, be happy !


}(

[JeffR]

60. Someone's gotta clean up the Asparagus!

[undeterred]

59. I would rather cast brussel sprouts, but it doesn't sound quite right.

[spoony]

61. My candidate rules. Also, your favourtie band sucks.

:P

[loudestchick]

63. Nu huh! my band is the greatest thing since the Beatles!

:headbang:

[MrCoffee]

66. this is pretty bold talk, given your candidate's track record

any candidate who cannot run the 100 in under 11 seconds is not worthy of my support. your candidate is slow and feeble.

[Mabus]

67. Your candidate says they are anti-animal cruelty

but sells gerbils to Richard Gere! :wow:

[Prisoner_Number_Six]

69. MY candidate turned YOUR candidate into a newt.

And we ain't talking Gingrich here!

[Larry in KC]

70. Your candidate is ignored by the media because...

...he (or she) is such a pathetic no-hoper.

On the other hand, my candidate is ignored by the media because he is the one they truly fear will otherwise be elected and be beholden to no one, not even them.

What kind of worries me is that that's what I really believe.

[JeffR]

71. I think you're on to something there

And it worries me too.

[WyoHiker]

73. I know I'm a new guy on the block here, but....

Its really obvious that not only does your candidate suck, He's obnoxious and stupid. In fact, if brains were gas, he couldn't get an ant's go cart once around around the inside of a Cheerio.

My candidate, on the other hand, is extremely intelligent and charismatic. Absolutely non-sucky.

I hope you change your mind to support my candidate. Failing to do so only proves that you, too, are obnoxious and stupid.

[Patsy Stone]

75. That's why your candidate sucks so bad.

Welcome to DU! :hi:

[JeffR]

80. Welcome to DU, WyoHiker

Please place your candidate in the overhead compartment and return your tray to the upright, locked position.

On edit: don't be alarmed. Primary season begins way too early here.

[walldude]

74. My candidate does suck....

Jenna Jameson for President!

[AtomicKitten]

76. My candidate is certified 100% E. coli free.

Your candidate:




Your candidate's headquarters:

[sendero]

81. This...

... is unfortunately true, even on DU.

[AlGore-08.com]

82. Well, you're the worst bigot who ever lived for not supporting my candidate

Who is not only Christlike in their perfection, but will right all historical wrongs when they win in a historic landslide.

Oh, and you smell like old socks.

[Pushed To The Left]

83. Those who don't support my candidate hate America, want to declare War on Christmas,

kick both kittens and puppies, and want the terrorists to win!

[canetoad]

84. Eighty something replies to the original post

and not one person brings up the dangers of shutting down dicussion.

It's one thing to appear unified, another to jeer at those with differing opinions. IMHO it is premature to be getting worked up over possible/probable nominations. The cream will rise, the scum will sink. There's plenty of time yet.

[JeffR]

86. We have a winner!!!!!

Thank you, canetoad. Much as I enjoyed all the responses, I wish this one had been the first...

[bobbie]

85. Funny.

Good one.

[Blue_Tires]

87. well your candidate is

DLC scum!