Haggard says he contacted accuser for a massage..

[INdemo]

So now we find out Clinton was telling the truth "I didnt have sex with that woman"
He got a massage....

[gfnrob]

1. But I didn't swallow!!!

[asjr]

2. If it works that way I may contact

a Chip N Dale performer to come sing me a lullabye.

[xultar]

3. Apparently Denver doesn't have any non-hooker type massage therapists.

[varun]

4. but he "never met that guy"

how could he get a massage from him then?

[obnoxiousdrunk]

5. So the voice mail

was about massage oil. Now I get it....

[radfringe]

11. ... ay, there's the rub

From HAMLET
"Devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep;
To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub:
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come,
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause: there's the respect
That makes calamity of so long life;

DUers are invited to adapt this for Haggard

[central scrutinizer]

15. also from Hamlet

Tis sport to see the engineer hoist on his own petard

[Tandalayo_Scheisskopf]

6. Oh brother.

There are no end of witty and waggish things I could post here, but being a flaming heterosexual and respecting my LGBTI brothers and sisters here, I will just let the opportunity slide. Something that really riles my witty and waggish gland.

But, LGBTI brothers and sisters, please feel free to post in my stead. ;-)

[Ezlivin]

9. "I will just let the opportunity slide..."

So you won't post a "witty and waggish" thing?

Too late.

;)

[Tandalayo_Scheisskopf]

16. Nahhh.

Everything I could post has the real potential to offend someone. I will err on the side of discretion. ;-)

[warrens]

7. Hmm, Story No. 9 in only 24 hours

When is he scheduled to go into rehab, again?

[underpants]

13. Preachers tend to just lose it live on the air

Swaggert
Jim and Tammy

They don't allow themselves to go into rehab that is far too secular.

[Generic Other]

24. When does he start crying and beg for forgiveness on live tv?

Because of course he will. It's part of the Protestant passion.

[malaise]

19. That Haggard interview has just given this

serious life. He made this one gazillion times worse.

[lcordero2]

8. ?????

A mouth on private parts massage?

[gully]

10. Just a little meth and a massage

c'mon folks!

[central scrutinizer]

12. Time to blame that old demon rum

I imagine he will now claim to be in the clutches of alcohol and resign to "spend more time with my family"

[jhrobbins]

14. This one makes me angrier than almost any of the others...

this man was an extremely vocal proponent against us and now it turns out that he was worse than any of those that rant against the GLBT community. This is what comes from this mindset that is being put forward by the evangelical community and the right. People cannot be what is their natural inclination and some are so ashamed of what they are that they become the most vocal against it. Shame on them and shame on Haggard for falling into it.

[napi21]

HA! First, I don't know him, and never had a homosexual exp.

in my life! Second, Hmmm, Ted did admit to some indiscretions. Third, yes I bought meth from him and went to his hotel room.

God! I wonder what will be fourth?

I have to say, this at least should put an end to the "That accuser didn't pass the lie detector test!"

OH, now he found this guy through a referral!!!! Supposedly from the hotel he was staying!

[msongs]

17. massage? That's ONE thing his WIFE could do! nt

[Tandalayo_Scheisskopf]

22. Hell...

She could have cooked him some Nasty Biker Crank as well. :D

[Tierra_y_Libertad]

18. Yeah. And, I went to that cat-house looking for a kitten.

[qanda]

20. He really should just come out and say exactly what happened

No one in their right mind believes that he purchased drugs and threw them away. And absolutely NO ONE believes that all he got was a massage from a gay hooker.

[Carni]

21. Doesn't every preacher suddenly decide to try meth...

and get a massage from a man when they are staying in a hotel?

I mean come on people let's get our minds out of the gutter here lol

[ecstatic]

23. Someone (Keith maybe?) needs to trick him into squealing on the others

I know Haggard is not alone in this-- he is part of a much larger ring of preachers who engage in drug use and/or tricking with prostitutes. I hope some interviewer confronts him with Falwell's comments, then we'll just watch the fireworks unfold from there (repugs are notorious for spilling all the beans on their buddies when backed into a corner).

[WinkyDink]

25. "sexual relations". He was precise.

[radfringe]

26. NPR news yesterday

reactions by Haggard's parishioners:

-- don't believe it
-- election stunt
-- he's only human
-- praying for the truth to come out (didn't say which version is the truth
-- don't trust the media
-- blown out of proportion
-- liberal conspiracy

[CJCRANE]

27. "I did not have sex with a man in Denver".

I'm pretty sure that's what I heard Haggard say in a clip on CNN.

Which leads me to ask - if not in Denver, then where?