THIS HALLOWEEN "TREAT" WAS "TRICKY" TO CREATE: ENJOY IT DU!

[Jeffersons Ghost]

This explains a later reference to "cat-herd" - When I first posted at Democratic Underground, idealism haunted my heart. After attempting numerous threads meant to unify our big-tent, someone wise with far more experience told me that "It would be easier to herd cats." I found it funny and true but in retrospect, lions are a type of cat and they hunt in herds of a sort. All I ask is whether you be cat or cougar, hunt for a cause and work for your team. Win or lose, let's give it our best and we'll earn the lion's share. I guess that's why they call that group a PRIDE.

THE RAVING

Once a pawn was just rehearsing, while I wondered, sad and cursing
About his many faint and spurious ramblings, reeking rot and bore,
While I nested, needing nothing, suddenly they started fluffing--
all the news, while gently stuffing, crap out on the Senate floor.
“Tis some idiot,” I uttered, puffing up on the Senate floor--
Only politics; nothing more."

Quite succinctly I remember election fraud in November,
And each separate lying member, passing laws, to make us poor.
Sadly, I hung my head in sorrow;--while I watched the damn fools borrow
from unborn kids with no tomorrow --tomorrow feeds a corporate whore--
that scares the scurrying masses, which the Founders freed before--
Shameless whores and nothing more.

Then the slick slobs started flirting and hustling pages of ages uncertain
Sickened me--quickened me to cast a revolting river out upon the floor;
Even now, I sit debating, whether perverts deserve hating
With my stomach still gyrating, I hear leaders over-compensating
And child-molesters, calmly waiting; baiting kids like never before--
“Tis bad example; nothing more."

Suddenly my heart grew bolder; even perverts must wait till they’re older,
"Sir," say I, “or Madam, surely, you will vote for them no more
The hypocrisy has me gagging, since so boldly you came bragging,
And now you claim they’re only lagging, lagging in a pollster's score,
But before I’m sure I heard you"—so we’ll open wide the door;--
Dimness there, and nothing more.

Presently I heard a sneering, as I stood there, fools were jeering,
Snorting stupid slogans, no moron ever uttered out before;
But the slogans had no meaning, though their noise sent me careening,
And the only thought they had was of winning their game once more!
Then I heard my TV echo, they’re going to win once more--
Maybe lies, and nothing more.

With remote, I start tuning; all the while my heart was swooning,
When again, I found a station -- screaming death tolls, like a score.
"Surely," said I, "we can save our nation, from a chimp -- on vacation:
Let me see, then, what threat, once again -- that dares he now to ignore.
Can CNN spin, make nausea end, with trite commercial bore?
Tis “border fence” and nothing more.

FOX howled out, in chimp-like stutter: “Stay the course,” without a rudder!
Then came strings of stupid ravings -- on savings, for their core;
As FOXes lie, troops wither and die -- so I threw a shoe but it stayed
In crawled a vermin, with coat, rich like ermine; to slither 'cross my floor—
Snarling, now, words grew foul; a Hannity howl for war--
Only for cash, and nothing more.

A stupid FOX, so clearly lurking, turned my lips up, slightly, as smirking,
In serious tones, that silly Bush core -- transformed my TV into a whore!
"Though thy lies be silly and shallow," said I, "they smell like dirty socks--
Gutlessly grim, your raving is caving -- to nukes from a distant shore--
Tell me what thy silly name is at that nut-house, you lived in before!"
Then FOX starts raving, “even more."

Mocking me, FOX menaced insanely, while I hurled again - puking - put plainly,
Though its answer whined of times before—Clinton scandal, held merit no more;
And vicious visions that I was seeing, might send the wise, or even angles fleeing
TV, it seemed, was turning to being; seducing my mind to explore--
A broad busty beast, sculpted in curls, wearing the dress of a whore
Then FOX starts raving, “even more."

Gazing at FOX, while humping her knees -- the chimp softly spoke; weaving his sleaze --
Casting kiddy-kite words into the breeze, which buffets his war, ever more.
Corporate bread his words butter -- as soft chicken plumes flutter--
“Stay the course” he now mutters and, then, winks at his whore--
“AWOL may grieve me, call it “leave,” and then leave me, “don’t stall here anymore."
But chimp chirps, "Nevermore."

Sickened, was I, with gut now churning, over reply, with ears hotly burning,
"Gutless?" ask I, "is ‘um-uh’ stutter, all you know or care to utter?
Rove, your master, must fix it faster -- your mind is Ward Nine; a Katrina Disaster”
“Why not take more vacations, as minds are changing, faster than sold-out TV stations?
Till dawn, TV heralded half-wit's haunting, flaunting lies to sell us war
As soldiers serve—forevermore.

His raving, then, got me smiling, crap grew deep, but chimp kept piling,
As it rose, I sought my spade, to clear the stench, his slimy words made;
Though his words were slightly stinking, I began a line of thinking--
Did I smell Hell or Halliburton linking? What are we fighting for?
Insanely high cost: Will Cheney’s boss Toll for many more?
Or is it Death Forevermore?

So I writhe enraged and cursing, until I hear TV rehearsing
Eyes, once fiercely flashing, drip now, as she’s bashing the left once more
Then I see why she’s truly pining: Without that oil, they’re refining --
Her high and haughty crown, will surely topple to the floor,
Her velvet violent, lying, lamp will cease to light both house and store,
But we’ll unplug her, nevermore!

Then the chimp seemed even denser, though he had an unseen censor
I heard the subtle, leftist cat-calls, swirl soft, beyond my door.
"Wretch," I cried, "a devil sent thee,--lots of cash he hath lent thee
Be quiet,--be quiet, you have bent me with right-wing lies that I deplore!
Quaff it waif! hear their whisper, a herd of cats heads toward my door!"
Quoth Raving FOX, "SHOW US MORE!"

"Priestess!" said I, "thing of folly!--bragging brats - butt-out, by golly!--
Let me hear that cat-herd heave your “stay the course” ashore,
Despising all the lies you’re flaunting, we ALL heard that hellish taunting--
“Has Cut and Run become a haunting? Tell me truly,” I implore--
Did I hear chimp is claiming “cut and run,” or Kerry blaming, cuts into your core?"
Rove raves spin, "Forevermore."

"TV," said I, "thing of selling—preaching, now, with sad eyes welling
If a Gods’ in Heaven, He prays you’ll prey on the poor no more--
Take this crap on crook redeeming, you’ve even got Christians screaming
When caught they act so saintly, with their Bibles by the score--
Clasping Heavenly icons, is there Justice now in store?"
Quoth Raving FOX, "Nevermore."

"Now I offer, words of parting, “chimp and whore," it’s finally starting--
"Get back into your set and zoo or fly to Baghdad's distant shore!
Leave no dank smell, as a binder; we won’t need a foul reminder!
Take the whore, if you can find her!—I need fake busts no more!
Take banana, if you love it or perhaps I will shove it, right outside my door!”
Quoth Raving FOX, "TELL US MORE!"

But TV ravings never end, still it babbles of “tax and spend.”
As we go bust, while debating, if God loves a gay or schools can pray.
And his glassy eyes, though seeming dreaming, hide the mind of a bore,
And FOX TV still lights his low-life, as cash flows toward his door;
And my soul screams in ghostly dreams when will we vote once more?
Quoth Diebold-- nevermore!

[poverlay]

1. Excellent work! Thanks. For some reason I read that to the tune of

that (I think) Jack Johnson song that starts: "I've been sittin', waitin', wishin', you'd believe in superstion..." It worked pretty well for most of it.

[Jeffersons Ghost]

5. you can believe I won't try to parody Poe again! This literally took days!

[elehhhhna]

11. FABULOUS. Simply fabulous.

[mom cat]

23. I believe you! It is quite a piece of work and I give it four paws and

a tail! Poe would be proud of your update!

Speaking of herding cats, I don't know if anyone came up with the saying before me, but after the last stolen election, in the early days of the anti-election fraud work here, I was doing a little on line organizing of DUers ans on more that one occasion refered to the job as one of trying to herd cats. Having grown up on a farm, I had plenty of time to study animal behavior. Cattle can be herded, but resist it with all their might. A tasty treat will lead them anywhere, but hearding is hard work. Cats, on the other hand can not be herded and can barely be led. DUers ate a lot like cats, fiercely independant, utterly resistant to coersion and totally unpredictable. I think that is why DUers have such a strong affinity to cats. Their modus operandi is to question authority and put rules in the litter box!

[Jeffersons Ghost]

32. it might easily have been you that said it... I'm a newby compared to you...

my FIRST post at DU was just before last Christmas... It was very similar to THE RAVING and called HOW THE GRINCH STOLE FREEDOM. It's in my journal, which need cleaning up before I put this current OP there.

[mom cat]

40. I do remember the Grinch one! That was awesome too and quite timely!

Please repost it at the appropriate seasonal time. It is a classic... as is The Raving.
You are a true Poe-it!

[Jeffersons Ghost]

41. i was thinking of posting it when corporate America parades out Santa...

when does Santa hit the malls these days?

[Homer Wells]

42. These days, the old fart starts showing up

around the Fourth of July!!

(Shop early! Avoid the Rush!!)

[Jeffersons Ghost]

43. well i better POST EARLY TO AVOID THE BUSH!

[Homer Wells]

45. ....

[Jeffersons Ghost]

48. BOO! it's halloween weekend... be VERY afraid!

[Richard Steele]

2. Wow, nice work! eom

[Jeffersons Ghost]

6. try to keep this OP up please so others can enjoy it. I KNOW it's a fast board

[Richard Steele]

10. Yeah, things move quickly this time of day, so here's a *KICK*!

[Jeffersons Ghost]

21. geez, it sure does, which is why i usually post in DU Political forum. thanks!

[Richard Steele]

26. Quoth the Raven: kick it MORE!

[Richard Steele]

35. Once upon a midnight, nearly...

OK, 29 minutes after, I know...

but the KICK stands.

[Jeffersons Ghost]

38. LOL. that's the ticket Dick, thanks n/t

[sakabatou]

3. Goddamit! That raven scares the bejeebus outta me!

[Jeffersons Ghost]

24. it's a cool graphic, I wish I'd done it... with the tongue it looks custom for my poem

[Sugar Smack]

4. You. Are. Amazing.

Poe should be alive to read this. Reccommended.

[Jeffersons Ghost]

39. I'm not sure he'd like it...I really don't think I did his work justice

[annabanana]

7. Wow!. . . . . .. .k&r

[Jeffersons Ghost]

18. thanks for all the votes... the more it gets the more people get to enjoy it

[shirlden]

8. I am in awe

of your courage. Poe is perhaps the greatest genius with words America has every produced. Your piece does him honor. Good work.
May we please pass it around. I have some Poe loving Dem friends who would treasure this.

[Jeffersons Ghost]

9. HELL YA! IT'S FOR YOUR HALLOWEEN EMAILS BLOGS, WHATEVER

I wrote it to help get our country back! we better do something before the draft starts! last time i heard bush, his gibberish nearly guarantees it if they stay in power.

[muffin_man]

12. Anyway for us to credit you?

Blog? Or.......

[Jeffersons Ghost]

14. i didn't do it for credit but I use Jeffersons Ghost (no apostrophe) online...

everywhere

[midnight]

19. Enjoyed the outrage very much.

The words are equal to the feelings many of us have with the fact that we are aware that vote stealing is a reality. If anyone knows how Howard Dean is addressing this I would appriciate a post about this.

[KarenS]

13. Wonderful job on this!!! K&R n/t

[TechBear_Seattle]

15. Very nice

[Jeffersons Ghost]

44. thanks tecBear... how's everything going with you?

I haven't seen you around here for a while

[immoderate]

16. Awesome.

I could see that was hard to do.

--IMM

[meatloaf]

17. Fantastic!!!!!!!

[kineneb]

20. great

I saved it as a text file so Hubby could read it.

[TheCentepedeShoes]

22. EXCELLENT !!

[bamademo]

25. WOW! Just WOW!

I want some of what you're smoking.

That was really wonderful. I've alway loved Poe.

[MzNov]

27. 3 words. FAB. U. LOUS. Thank you so much.

"Let's Landslide!"

[stepnw1f]

28. Hey Brother! Nice to See You Again!

Nice piece, BTW!

[Jeffersons Ghost]

29. If you'll pardon a pun; with this OP, I'm...

[Stardust]

36. Brilliant!

[NVMojo]

30. woooo-hooooo!!! Love it!!!

[democrank]

31. First class, 4-star, A-1!

Heckuva job, JG

[TomInTib]

33. You done nailed it to the kitchen wall, JG.

K&R

And thanks a million.

Or two.

[Jeffersons Ghost]

37. or 3,102?...

I'm glad you liked it... I just did an OP using 50 faces of our fallen comrades and I'm pissed. I shouldn't have gone there:

http://projects.washingtonpost.com/fallen/page5/

[SaneInSC]

34. GJ!

Good job..thank you for the effort!

[BrklynLiberal]

46. Damn! I don't sign on for a couple of days, and I miss the chance to vote up

such fantastic posts!
It is a good thing that everyone else is so perceptive!!
Congrats JG. Great work!!!

[Jeffersons Ghost]

47. Thank you SO much for the kick! The HOLIDAY IS UPON US! n/t