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Chuck Norris??!!?? :wtf:

WND's Newest Columnist Is ... Chuck Norris?
Topic: WorldNetDaily

It's so shocking that WorldNetDaily had to put "No joke!" in the headline announcing it: actor and martial artist Chuck Norris is indeed writing a weekly column for WND.

Of course, it's not Norris' acting skills, martial arts prowess or even the one-liners that ultimately sealed the deal for WND -- it's his right-wing Christianity. And his inaugural column, which attempts to riff on those one-liners, shows that it's a leaden, preachy kind of conservative Christianity:

Alleged Chuck Norris Fact: "Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer. Too bad he never cries. Ever."

There was a man whose tears could cure cancer or any other disease, including the real cause of all diseases, sin. His blood did. His name was Jesus, not Chuck Norris.

If your soul needs healing, the prescription you need is not Chuck Norris' tears, it's Jesus' blood.

Apparently, WND didn't enough preachy evangelicals on his column roster.

http://conwebwatch.tripod.com/blog/index.blog?entry_id=1578947

[Archae]

1. Kick?

What, no one interested in Woodchuck Morris becoming WorldNetDaily's latest hack? :shrug:

[NoPasaran]

2. Chuck Norris doesn't believe in science's table of elements

Chuck Norris only believes in the element of surprise!

[Dudley_DUright]

3. Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Evolution.

No really. Unfortunately there is no punchline to this sad joke.

From the Think Progress site:

Chuck Norris Sets The Facts Straight: Evolution Is ‘Not Real. It Is Not The Way We Got Here

Actor and high-profile conservative Chuck Norris became an internet phenomenon last year after a website called “Chuck Norris Facts” attracted over 150 million hits. Some sample facts: “Guns don’t kill people. Chuck Norris kills people.” Another: “Chuck Norris wins Connect Four in three moves.”

Now, the right-wing website World Net Daily has given Chuck Norris a regular weekly column. In his first column, he takes on an “alleged” Chuck Norris fact:

Alleged Chuck Norris Fact: “There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.” It’s funny. It’s cute. But here’s what I really think about the theory of evolution: It’s not real. It is not the way we got here. In fact, the life you see on this planet is really just a list of creatures God has allowed to live. We are not creations of random chance. We are not accidents.

more...

http://thinkprogress.org/2006/10/25/chuck-norris-facts/

[dad]

4. Chuck Norris fact

The first time Chuck Norris masturbated, he blasted a hole thru the bathroom wall and impregnated every woman in a three county radius.