You're gonna love this: 2008 REPUBLICAN CONVENTION AGENDA

[BigBearJohn]

This was sent to me by a disillusioned Republican friend

2008 REPUBLICAN CONVENTION AGENDA

6:00 PM Opening Prayer led by the Reverend Jerry Falwell
6:30 PM Pledge of Allegiance to George W. Bush
6:35 PM Ceremonial Burning of Bill of Rights
6:45 PM Salute to the Project for the New American Century
6:46 PM Seminar #1: Katherine Harris on "Are Elections Really Necessary?"
7:30 PM Announcement: Mark Foley Was a Closet Democrat
7:35 PM Trent Lott - "Re-Segregation in the 21st Century"
7:40 PM EPA Address #1: Mercury: It's What's for Dinner
8:00 PM Vote on which country to invade next
8:10 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh
8:15 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: The Homos Are After Your Children
8:30 PM Round table discussion on reproductive rights (men only)
8:50 PM Seminar #2: Corporations: The Government of the Future
9:00 PM Dennis Hastert leads discussion: How to Shirk Responsibility and
Get Away with It
9:05 PM Phyllis Schlafly speaks on "Why Women Shouldn't Be Leaders"
9:10 PM EPA Address #2: Trees: The Real Cause of Forest Fires
9:30 PM Break for secret meetings
10:00 PM Second Prayer led by Pat Robertson
10:15 PM Karl Rove Lecture: How to Commit Perjury and Obstruction of
Justice and Get Away with It
10:35 PM George W. Bush demonstration of trademark "deer in headlights" stare
10:40 PM John Ashcroft: New Mandatory Kevlar Chastity Belt
10:45 PM GOP's Tribute to Tokenism, Colin Powell, Condoleeza Rice and
Alberto Gonzales
10:46 PM Ann Coulter's Tribute "Joe McCarthy, Great American Patriot"
10:50 PM Seminar #3: Education: A Drain on Our Nation's Economy
11:10 PM Dick Cheney leads discussion: How to Shoot People, Cover It
Up, and Get Away with It
11:20 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: Evolutionists: A Dangerous New Cult
11:30 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again
11:35 PM Blame Bill Clinton
11:40 PM Twice-Divorced Newt Gingrich speaks on "The Sanctity of Marriage"
11:41 PM Announcement: Ronald Reagan to be added to Mt. Rushmore
11:50 PM Closing Prayer led by Jesus Himself
12:00 PM Nomination of GW Bush as Holy Supreme Planetary Overlord

--
**************************************************************************************************************
"If tyranny and oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise
of fighting a foreign enemy."
- James Madison
**************************************************************************************************************

[mike_c]

1. it's missing the part where they dig up Ronald Reagan...

...and distribute his bones as holy relics.

[lonestarnot]

2. Hell yeah love it! Would have made my wall of shame, but I left it at

my old office. Have to start a new one and this will be the first, no second here's the first

[begin_within]

3. You forgot the torture demonstration.

[cui bono]

11. Attending it is the torture. n/t

[MikeNearMcChord]

4. Aren't they going to schedule the ceremonial burning

of Keith Olbermann at the stake and the stoning of Nancy Pelosi?

[Mz Pip]

5. Send it to the RNC

They'll probably use it.

One thing is missing: TERROR TERROR TERROR!!! ...and tax cuts.

Mz Pip

[demwing]

6. You had me going, but only till 6:35

I misinterpretated the pledge notes at 6:30

[demwing]

7. And BTW - I ran into a freep on another board

who was promoting your 7:35 by Trent Lott.

Seriously.

[SharonRB]

8. This is one of the funniest things I've read in ages

I can't stop laughing.

[derby378]

9. Where's the mass wedding ceremony by Sun Myung Moon?

[cui bono]

10. That can't be real. No way they would wait until 11:35 to blame Clinton.