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You're gonna love this: 2008 REPUBLICAN CONVENTION AGENDA

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BigBearJohn Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-23-06 09:08 PM
Original message
You're gonna love this: 2008 REPUBLICAN CONVENTION AGENDA
This was sent to me by a disillusioned Republican friend

2008 REPUBLICAN CONVENTION AGENDA

6:00 PM Opening Prayer led by the Reverend Jerry Falwell
6:30 PM Pledge of Allegiance to George W. Bush
6:35 PM Ceremonial Burning of Bill of Rights
6:45 PM Salute to the Project for the New American Century
6:46 PM Seminar #1: Katherine Harris on "Are Elections Really Necessary?"
7:30 PM Announcement: Mark Foley Was a Closet Democrat
7:35 PM Trent Lott - "Re-Segregation in the 21st Century"
7:40 PM EPA Address #1: Mercury: It's What's for Dinner
8:00 PM Vote on which country to invade next
8:10 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh
8:15 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: The Homos Are After Your Children
8:30 PM Round table discussion on reproductive rights (men only)
8:50 PM Seminar #2: Corporations: The Government of the Future
9:00 PM Dennis Hastert leads discussion: How to Shirk Responsibility and
Get Away with It
9:05 PM Phyllis Schlafly speaks on "Why Women Shouldn't Be Leaders"
9:10 PM EPA Address #2: Trees: The Real Cause of Forest Fires
9:30 PM Break for secret meetings
10:00 PM Second Prayer led by Pat Robertson
10:15 PM Karl Rove Lecture: How to Commit Perjury and Obstruction of
Justice and Get Away with It
10:35 PM George W. Bush demonstration of trademark "deer in headlights" stare
10:40 PM John Ashcroft: New Mandatory Kevlar Chastity Belt
10:45 PM GOP's Tribute to Tokenism, Colin Powell, Condoleeza Rice and
Alberto Gonzales
10:46 PM Ann Coulter's Tribute "Joe McCarthy, Great American Patriot"
10:50 PM Seminar #3: Education: A Drain on Our Nation's Economy
11:10 PM Dick Cheney leads discussion: How to Shoot People, Cover It
Up, and Get Away with It
11:20 PM John Ashcroft Lecture: Evolutionists: A Dangerous New Cult
11:30 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again
11:35 PM Blame Bill Clinton
11:40 PM Twice-Divorced Newt Gingrich speaks on "The Sanctity of Marriage"
11:41 PM Announcement: Ronald Reagan to be added to Mt. Rushmore
11:50 PM Closing Prayer led by Jesus Himself
12:00 PM Nomination of GW Bush as Holy Supreme Planetary Overlord

--
**************************************************************************************************************
"If tyranny and oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise
of fighting a foreign enemy."
- James Madison
**************************************************************************************************************
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mike_c Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-23-06 09:12 PM
Response to Original message
1. it's missing the part where they dig up Ronald Reagan...
...and distribute his bones as holy relics.
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lonestarnot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-23-06 09:12 PM
Response to Original message
2. Hell yeah love it! Would have made my wall of shame, but I left it at
my old office. Have to start a new one and this will be the first, no second here's the first

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begin_within Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-23-06 09:12 PM
Response to Original message
3. You forgot the torture demonstration.
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cui bono Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-23-06 09:22 PM
Response to Reply #3
11. Attending it is the torture. n/t
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MikeNearMcChord Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-23-06 09:13 PM
Response to Original message
4. Aren't they going to schedule the ceremonial burning
Edited on Mon Oct-23-06 09:13 PM by MikeNearMcChord
of Keith Olbermann at the stake and the stoning of Nancy Pelosi?
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Mz Pip Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-23-06 09:13 PM
Response to Original message
5. Send it to the RNC
They'll probably use it.

One thing is missing: TERROR TERROR TERROR!!! ...and tax cuts.

Mz Pip
:dem:
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demwing Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-23-06 09:15 PM
Response to Original message
6. You had me going, but only till 6:35
I misinterpretated the pledge notes at 6:30
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demwing Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-23-06 09:16 PM
Response to Reply #6
7. And BTW - I ran into a freep on another board
who was promoting your 7:35 by Trent Lott.

Seriously.
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SharonRB Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-23-06 09:18 PM
Response to Original message
8. This is one of the funniest things I've read in ages
I can't stop laughing.

:rofl:
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derby378 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-23-06 09:19 PM
Response to Original message
9. Where's the mass wedding ceremony by Sun Myung Moon?
:shrug:
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cui bono Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-23-06 09:20 PM
Response to Original message
10. That can't be real. No way they would wait until 11:35 to blame Clinton.
Edited on Mon Oct-23-06 09:21 PM by cui bono
:sarcasm:

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