I Have A Question About Outing And "Looking Gay"

[DemocratSinceBirth]

There have been many polls on outing of gays at this site...


Now there is much speculation on who "looks gay" and who doesn't...


Some well intentioned DUers are even suggesting some congressmen look gay...


Does such a concept exist? Can one look gay?


Does gaydar exist?


I think when those DUers are using the term "looks gay" they are using a well scrubbed, clean cut, cosmetically perfect look as their benchmark . Is that wrong?

It seems they can also be describing metrosexuals...

It's so confusing...

[Scooter24]

1. ...

:P

[DemocratSinceBirth]

2. I Don't Think That's What They Had In Mind

eom

[cboy4]

8. Yea, that's a very stereotypical photo depiction from a movie, and it

can be offensive, depending on how "gay-friendly" the people who use it as an example of "looking gay" are.

I think the bottom line is there are stereotypical physical descriptions/behaviors of all groups of human beings.

Some gay men act/sound more masculine than others.

Some lesbians are so-called "lipstick" and others are "butch."

Is there gaydar?

I think so, but I don't know how fine-tuned a heterosexual's gaydar might be compared to mine. (which is not 100% accurate, by the way.)

Outing based on someone's perception alone of a man or woman looking or acting gay, would be absolutely reckless.

[DemocratSinceBirth]

9. I Hope Scooter Was Being Facetious...

eom

[Scooter24]

16. Yes... I was

And I'm a young gay man myself. A little humor in life goes a long way.

[Scooter24]

17. Just adding a little humor to a very serious question

before it possibly blows into drama. :P

[xchrom]

3. what. the. fuck.

:rofl:

ok you have affected my whole day.

[Scooter24]

18. :D

:rofl:

You should get the movie when it comes out on DVD. A good hearty laugh to be had by most.

[calico1]

4. Gay is:

thin, neat and single. (at least according to Seinfeld). :-)

[Monkey see Monkey Do]

5. Not that there's anything wrong with that. nt

[Felinity]

6. Remember Seinfeld?

He used to say everyone thought he was gay because he was still single at 35-40 and was a neat freak. Edit to ad "thin" as above (great minds etc.)

Here's my rule: If you meet someone and are interested in dating them, put on your "gadar" to determine if they are of the appropriate persuasion. If there is any doubt, ask them directly.

If you don't want to date them, do you really care? I don't.

[DemocratSinceBirth]

7. I Just Posed The Question

I just posed the question because one DUer suggested a congressman "looked gay" and another DUer took umbrage at that observation...

[TechBear_Seattle]

12. Seinfeld was very wrong

I'm in my late 30s, not at all thin, single, and can never seem to keep up with the dirty dishes that pile up in the sink. Despite all that, I can spit chiffon with the best of them. :hi:

[JoDog]

10. My friend, who I thought was gay...

When I first met my friend, let's call him "Ace", at work over 6 years ago, I really thought he was gay. There was just something about him that set my gaydar off. The way he dressed, the way he spoke, the open friendliness with his female co-workers, etc. Turns out, Ace was probably just the vanguard of what would later be called the metrosexuals.

Ace is straight. (According to his wife, very straight!) The thing is, a lot of people, at first meeting him, think Ace is gay. So it wasn't just hayseed me. I guess society's stereotypes and preconceived notions of what is gay and straight tend to organize him into the "gay" drawer, so to speak.

Truth of the matter is, what I interpreted as friendliness I later came to find out was really him trying to flirting with me! But there is a happy ending to all that. After my unwitting spurn of his attentions, he reconnected with the lovely woman who later became his wife. I officiated the ceremony, and ended up with 2 wonderful friends, instead of just one.

I suppose the moral of the story, if there must be one, is that first impressions can sometimes be utterly misleading.

[donheld]

11. Gaydar does exist. There's no such thing as a "metrosexual"

Nobody "looks gay" unless they're like Liberace. Some lesbians look as feminine as any other woman, some gay men look as butch as John Wayne. (Did John Wayne look butch)? Some DUer's wouldn't know gay if it bit them in the butt.

[ContraBass Black]

13. The most effeminate men I know are straight.

[TechBear_Seattle]

14. Sometimes yes, usually no

There are a few people who, either deliberately or just because it is who they are, come off as gayer than a tree full of chickadees. Think Carson from "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy." On the other hand, look at Kyan (the grooming guy) from the same show: he could easily "pass for straight."

In my experience, most gay people look and sound just like everyone else. And those trying to live in the closet -- such as Republican elected officials and party leaders -- are going to do whatever it takes to not "look gay." This game of "that person looks gay" is insulting and relies on stereotypes that have little basis in fact.

[npincus]

15. not sure about this guy...

[rainbowblue]

19. Yes

Some people seem to think so. I know I've been outed before. Great pics by the way.

[hedgehog]

20. There is a DUer who I thought was a young gay man

who turned out to be an older straight woman! So much for my gaydar!