Big Mama Rummy sings the Kleptocrat Scat

[IdesOfOctober]

With apologies to the person who first spoofed this (I've put my own stank on it):

Picture it: the lights come up slowly on the Cabinet Room.

Rummy, doing his best J. Edgar Hoover, enters stage left, dressed up like Big Mama Morton, feather boa and all. He proceeds to clamber up on top of the Cabinet Room table, while his audience (the other directors of BushCo.) hoot and holler approvingly.

In the corner, Condi, concert pianist extraordinarie, reprises the role of Taye Diggs' bandleader, grabbing the microphone at the piano to electrify the crowd:

"And now, Ladies and Gentlemen,
The keeper of the codes,
The Sec of GITMO,
The mistress of all that is BushCo.
Matron Mama Rummmy!!!"

The audience cheers wildly, then quiets to a stage whisper, as Big Mama Rummy begins the soft torchsong intro to the Kleptocrat Scat:

"Ask any of the tuhrists in my pen,
They'll tell you I'm the biggest mother ... hen,
I love them all and all of them love me
Because MY system works!
The system called never set them free!

(big drum beat, change-up to the tempo)

Got a little motto
Always sees me through:
'When you're good to Rummy, Rummy's good to you!'
There's a lot of favors we're prepared to do
You do one for BushCo., we'll do one for you!

They say that life is tit for tat
And that's the way I live
So I deserve a lot of tat
For what I've got to give (just ask Halliburton, they'll tell ya)

Don't you know that this hand
Washes that one too
When you're good to Rummy
Rummy's good to you!

If you want my gravy
Pepper my tripe stew
Spice it up for Rummy
He'll get hot for you!

When they pass that basket
Folks put bribes into
You put in for BushCo.
We'll put out for you!

The folks atop the ladder (that's us)
Are the ones the world adores
So boost me up my ladder, kid
We're your be-gaveled whores

Let's all stroke together
LIKE THE PRINCETON CREW
When you're strokin' Rummy
Rummy's strokin' you!!!

So what's the one conclusion
I could bring this number to?

(BIG FINISH, feather boa flapping every which way as Rummy brings home the bacon)

When you're bad to BushCo.
BushCo.'s bombing YOU!!!

Yeah!"

Ides

[hedda_foil]

1. OMFG, this is GREAT!!!

K&R

[IdesOfOctober]

2. Why, thank you!

My Muses - a.k.a. "the voices" - and I thank you.

All work and no play...

LOL.

Ides

[peekaloo]

3. LOL!

Stank of Approval!

[IdesOfOctober]

5. The First Amendment protects parody...

... the efforts of the BushCo. Cabal notwithstanding.

It ain't a dried-up piece of parchment. It's a living, dynamic document ...

... to be enjoyed regularly, indeed daily, by the Founders' "Posterity" - i.e., those of us today.

Ides

P.S. Can you imagine the stuff Benjamin Franklin would be cranking out on his blog nowadays?

[peekaloo]

8. maybe as a sequel we see Rummy in a red dress atop a piano

in "The Fabulous Jim Baker Boys".

[IdesOfOctober]

10. Or reunite him with Ashcroft's Ensemble...

... http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=let+the+eagle+soar...

Ides

[Coexist]

4. thank you so much for the laugh

I could actually picture Rummy vamping on the table.

[IdesOfOctober]

6. It'll be a popular act when Rummy is doing the Bureau of Prisons...

... talent show.

Do they do American Con Man competitions in the BoP?

http://www.bop.gov /

I bet he makes it all the way to the Finals.

Ides

[Laurab]

7. I could picture it but I'm trying so hard NOT to

I don't know if my stomach could take it!

Maybe one of our talented artists will do a photoshop, but put "warning - graphic" on it.

ides you're very talented in a somewhat demented way!

[IdesOfOctober]

9. Even in the depths of Valley Forge...

... they laughed, joked, and kept each other's spirits up, LauraB.

The DUers should do the same. It detracts not one whit from the seriousness of our purpose this mid-term, to keep each other in good spirits.

; )

Ides

[Laurab]

15. Oh Nemo, you don't have to tell ME that

it's just that my stomach was already a little upset today.

That WAS quite a work of art.

I am related to a graphic artist - hint - she's married to a musician. She is now working out of her home, and makes a very good living at it. What is it he needs, and how much time do you think it would take? She doesn't have a lot of time but it's possible she could help. Check out some of the designs on the cd's on the websites I sent you, that's one example of her work.

[IdesOfOctober]

16. LauraB, Knower of the People to Know...

... you are a fountain of knowledge.

I'm so glad we connected.

Did you send that info to CorpGovActivist directly?

Ides

[Laurab]

17. No, I didn't

I will though, when he writes back to me - I would need to know if it was a small job or a time-consuming one, as the graphic artist I know has a gorgeous new baby and a husband who is often away, so her time is pretty limited. I'm guessing it would be a little more than a ten minute job, and she'd probably be reluctant, only because she has no time.

I would think though if you or he were to post: Halliburton whistle-blower needs help from graphic artist, as a separate OP, rather than within one, someone on this very talented board would respond. If I were a betting person, which I am, I'd even bet on it.

[IdesOfOctober]

18. Given David's past support of maternity leave discrimination plaintiffs...

... I'm guessing he'd work with your friend's schedule. My understanding is that it is a paying gig, too.

David and his partner, Patrick, have done extensive work helping maternity leave discrimination plaintiffs fight State Street:

http://www.google.com/search?as_q=jorstad+smith&num=10&...

To see how disgusting the frat boy atmosphere was for working women:

http://www.google.com/search?q=+state+street+global+lop...

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=&as_qdr=all&q=lop...

While State Street's lawyers were hammering out the secret settlement with Lisa Chui's attorneys behind closed doors - including a provision requiring the casefile to be sealed up from public view - David and Patrick were busy copying the casefile, including the deposition in which Lopardo embarrassed himself and State Street by answering that he couldn't "recall" such things as the names of any women in key positions within his unit (the asset management division of State Street, known as State Street Global Advisors, or SSgA):

http://www.shareholdersonline.org/keydocs.htm

The point is, I think David would probably work around any working mom's (or dad's) schedule.

Ides

[Coexist]

11. WARNING! Here you go:

from http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.worth...

[IdesOfOctober]

12. Oh, dear God, that's BRILLIANT!!!

You should IMMEDIATELY contact CorpGovActivist: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.ph...

He has been looking for a talented graphic designer: "(graphic designers needed)"

Ides

[Coexist]

13. I edited my post to include the link to the artist's page

My talent runs to typing things into the Google search engine!

[IdesOfOctober]

14. Gotcha...I thought...

... you created that on the fly, in which case, you'd be exactly what CorpGovActivist has been looking for; thanks for the link.

Ides

[malaise]

19. Damn this is funny

[IdesOfOctober]

20. Thanks...

... can't you just picture Snagglepuss the Soliloquizer in that feather boa, shimmying on the Cabinet Room table?

: )

Ides

[Gabi Hayes]

23. I picture him with a look a little closer to this:

[CorpGovActivist]

21. Is There a PodCast?

ROTFL.

- Dave

[CorpGovActivist]

22. Upload It to iTunes!

[IdesOfOctober]

24. That would be self-defeating...

... I have a lovely screeching voice.

: )