I have just been hired by Homeland Security to SCARE THE SHIT OUT OF YOU!

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

In a newer, personalized, direct marketing sort of way.

Here's week one:

Skinner: We have just found out Al Quiada has been secretly buying radio stations and music outlets in an evil attempt to play The Best of Pat Boone 24-7.

Elad: We have information that Saddam still has plans to put a big caterpillar in your shoe.

Will Pitt: We have learned that OBL is personally planning to order 100 Domino's Pizzas to be delivered to the RNC with your compliments.

(Broader Spectrum)

Vegans: Zarquawi has been discovered to have plans to inject bacon grease into Boca Burgers.

Animal Lovers: We have discovered that the favorite pastime in Al Quaida training camps is CAT JUGGLING!

Atheists: We have discovered that there is over 125 million dollars earmarked by OBL for the Judge Roy Moore presidential campaign.

Christians: We have a recording of OBL saying mean things about Jesus.

This is just my first week's work, please let me know if these things a scaring the shit out of you yet and if you happen to have any phobias that we are not aware of yet.

Our new motto: The only thing that's dear is fear itself. Yay America!

[wakeme2008]

1. come here toad

[stellanoir]

2. k & r

And voted as funniest thread in a long, long, long time IMHO. If I only had a way in which to vote.

This is exemplary of why I'm determined to relentlessly start pestering Skinner again to create a funniest page. We truly need one during what the I Ching would describe as this current "crescendo of awfulness."

The house of cards is crumbling.

Oh and "rotsa ruck" scaring me you knucklehead. And BOOOOOOOOO right back at you.

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

9. Thanks! (btw, check the way your cottage cheese smells!)

[stellanoir]

10. sorry friend

I don't even have any cottage cheese. Though some stuff in the fridge would truly qualify as a science experiment, I trust my anti bodies implicitly. So there.

[Peanutcat]

3. Good luck on the cat juggling

Have you ever tried to juggle a pissed-off cat? It's not pretty, I can tell you!:evilgrin:

[leeroysphitz]

4. CAT JUGGLING?

I've HEARD about this sort of thing...

[jhain]

5. Nooooooooooooooooo-Not THe Boca Burgers!!!

I must wrap them all in plastic sheeting!!!

[NanceGreggs]

6. And don't FORGET ...

... the duct tape!!!!

[DanCa]

7. Bah ! Let 'em come

Riddile me this riddle me that whose afraid of my big black bat?

[NYC]

8. Demand an increase in pay.

You'll have to work harder. Some of us don't eat Boca Burgers.

Longer hours, harder work. You deserve a raise.

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

12. For you guys, they will replace Burger King Patties with soy products!

[NYC]

14. I heard about the soy products today on the radio.

Soy does not have the benefits they have been claiming. If you are threatening to contaminate my food with soy products, I'll start shaking in my boots now. (Put in for that raise. You've earned it.)

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

15. Thanks! I won't tell you about the tofu prime rib until next week then.

:evilgrin:

[Catshrink]

11. Why do you hate America?

:evilgrin:

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

16. LOL... It's my job now!

[lonestarnot]

13. heh heh heh

[Swamp Rat]

17. BOO!

:D

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

18. Yikes!

[ComerPerro]

19. If you like the Beatles, OBL thinks they suck.

If you're more of a Stones fan, OBL thinks they suck too.

[radfringe]

20. I'm not afraid - as long as BUBBLE BOY is on the job.....

http://radfringe.tripod.com/

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

21. Great toon! I saw that earlier in the toon thread and felt it

was spot on!

Keep up the great work!