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Another visit from God

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Tyo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-20-06 09:51 PM
Original message
Another visit from God
God blew in last Thursday. At cocktail time. And unannounced as usual (As a thief in the night, He likes to say). Partner and I were just mixing up the first round after a hard day and we got out another glass. God was cranky. Hed about had his fill of James Dobson and the Focus on the Family crowd and we talked for a while about what perverted asses they all were. But what was really on His mind was all the end times, Book of Revelation stuff.

Revelation was meant as a joke, for crissake, God said as I passed him a second martini. Me and Gabriel and some of the boys came up with the visuals for that masterpiece at a kegger and mushroom binge on Mt Sinai years ago. We figured it would provide a little dark comic relief for The Big Book when it came out and that at least the stoners would probably get it. We had no idea though that anyone could be dense enough to actually take it seriously. There are some things that are too far off the map for even Me to know.

It was really getting to Him that people were using Revelation to justify trashing the earth because they thought it was all going to end soon anyway. I put a lot of thought into the Earth, especially the animals and I think I did a nice job considering that back in those days I was on about the same mental plane as a human 14-year-old. I mean read the Old Testament. Jeeze I could be a prick

So there is no way to predict when the end times will come?, I asked. No way, Jose, he replied, toying with his glass. Sure there is a program for wrapping things up but Im not tipping my hand on that one. I thought the J-Man and I made that clear with the, no man shall know the hour. stuff.

But doesnt all that bad shit going down in the Middle East signify something?, Partner asked. Listen, God said, it might signify some, ah, shall we say substantial adjustments to your lifestyle if you let it get out of hand, and it sure isnt pleasant for the people living there, but it wont usher in the End Times. Theres no way to make the clock move any faster on that, and whats the friggin hurry anyway?"

People are fixated on this end-of-the-world thing, he continued, clearly annoyed, and its gotta stop. It screws you up in all sorts of ways, it's messing up my creation and whackjobs like Pat Robertson who push this stuff are a real menace. And for the record, God continued, Its not like Im not trying to help. I spend a lot of time talking to that man but he acts like Im not even there. He might be listening to someone, but it aint me.

With that He drained His glass and polished off the last of the shrimp dip. Its been delightful as always, but I gotta run. Meeting the boyfriend in Antioch at eight. He grabbed his biker jacket, planted a kiss on Partners cheek and gave me a punch on the shoulder. At the door he turned toward us. Thanks for letting me vent guys. It helps. And in a puff of Sandalo and Beemer exhaust he was gone.
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Prisoner_Number_Six Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-20-06 09:58 PM
Response to Original message
1. God Almighty rides a Beemer? Who knew???
It just proves to me you ain't making it up...
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unschooler Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-20-06 10:02 PM
Response to Original message
2. Welcome to DU, Tyo.
:hi:
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spindrifter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-20-06 10:03 PM
Response to Original message
3. Welcome!
Thanks for the enlightenment. As the above poster wrote, "who knew?"
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Kiouni Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-20-06 10:04 PM
Response to Original message
4. should have given god a pat on the ass
nothing says good job like an open hand palm on the ass.
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RevCheesehead Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-20-06 10:07 PM
Response to Original message
5. I'm sorry, but you're misinformed.
God drives a Harley, and has a girlfriend. She told me so. :P
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Dr.Phool Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-20-06 10:08 PM
Response to Original message
6. Welcome to DU
Looking forward to more of your posts.
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SeaBob Donating Member (447 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-20-06 10:08 PM
Response to Original message
7. Tyo
so, didn't you think it was rather rude of God to polish off the last of the shrimp dip with out offering to replace it with something... my God this is God your talking about. the master of the universe thing and all that. you think he could at least replace your shrimp dip.


BTW welcome to DU
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Glorfindel Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-20-06 10:11 PM
Response to Original message
8. Thank you...it's good to know He's still out & about, though I AM feeling
a bit neglected for the past few years. I know He has other interests and obligations, so I'll just patiently wait my turn, expecting a visit like, who knows when? And by the way, welcome to DU! :toast:
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whistle Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-20-06 10:14 PM
Response to Original message
9. Conversations with God over a pitcher of martinis yet.....
...welcome to DU Teyo, you should feel very comfortable here.
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MadMaddie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-20-06 10:21 PM
Response to Original message
10. Tyo....thanks for sharing this with us....
Welcome to DU! :hi:
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mitchtv Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-20-06 10:23 PM
Response to Original message
11. That was too cool
Is it true that he NEVER sees that be-aacchh in Rome , you know the Doberman?
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