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New flight security: No clothes. No baggage. 24 hour fasting before flight

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Cyrano Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-10-06 02:39 PM
Original message
New flight security: No clothes. No baggage. 24 hour fasting before flight
Clothes? It started with shoes, but explosives can be disguised as virtually anything. No more clothing on planes.

Baggage? Who knows what's in there? Gotta' ship it by truck before your trip.

Can you eat or drink a delayed explosive? You bet. Gotta' show up at the airport, walk nude through security and wait 24 hours for your flight.

Today it's planes. Will trains be next?

The plan is clear. Drive everywhere. Use gas. Be afraid.

Sorry, gotta' go take my thorazine now.
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whistle Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-10-06 02:41 PM
Response to Original message
1. You left out mandatory body cavity searches
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burythehatchet Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-10-06 03:47 PM
Response to Reply #1
11. No need for cavity searches
On site enema will be required.
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Cyrano Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-10-06 04:02 PM
Response to Reply #11
12. How much crap do they think we'll stand for?
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BOSSHOG Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-10-06 02:42 PM
Response to Original message
2. One might look at your post rationally
and come to the conclusion that the commander in chief of American armed forces for the past 5+ years is a fucking failure. Good news for bush, 30ish% of the american public is far from rational.
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JHB Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-10-06 02:44 PM
Response to Original message
3. Yep. No clothes: they can explode. Saw it on "Mythbusters"
First exploding trousers, now Mentos and Coke.

Should we mention that two of the "Mythbusters" crew are "BattleBots" veterans?

That show's a regular terror-central, isn't it?
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sgxnk Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-10-06 02:44 PM
Response to Original message
4. and a high colonic
before boarding the airplane

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Hugin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-10-06 02:51 PM
Response to Reply #4
6. Eeew! I hate the taste of magnesium citrate.
Talk about explosive diarrhea!
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sgxnk Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-10-06 03:00 PM
Response to Reply #6
7. um...
i just got back from mexico

so, i'd rather not

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Cyrano Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-10-06 02:48 PM
Response to Original message
5. Oops. Forgot teeth X-rays.
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Vidar Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-10-06 03:13 PM
Response to Original message
8. "Drive everywhere. Use gas. Be afraid" You've nailed it..
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toska Donating Member (180 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-10-06 03:28 PM
Response to Original message
9. Just wait until the holiday
Imagine a bunch of families with kids on their way to grandmas for Christmas (or insert favorite holiday here). All the coats and hats and gloves that could be a "threat". Sorry kid, can't bring your gameboy in the cabin, we'll have to put it underneath. Try explaining to a thirsty two year old that they have to wait until the drink cart comes before they can have some water.
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Cyrano Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-10-06 03:46 PM
Response to Reply #9
10. Do you suppose this could be a fundie plot?
After all, airplanes aren't mentioned in the bible. Oh well, back to horse drawn carriages.
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geniph Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-10-06 04:03 PM
Response to Original message
13. And for the love of Pete, whatever you do,
don't FART!

"Everybody back! That man is exploding!"
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WiseButAngrySara Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-10-06 04:05 PM
Response to Original message
14. LOL! Hey, that's the Garden of Eden you're describing! ....n/t
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