New flight security: No clothes. No baggage. 24 hour fasting before flight

[Cyrano]

Clothes? It started with shoes, but explosives can be disguised as virtually anything. No more clothing on planes.

Baggage? Who knows what's in there? Gotta' ship it by truck before your trip.

Can you eat or drink a delayed explosive? You bet. Gotta' show up at the airport, walk nude through security and wait 24 hours for your flight.

Today it's planes. Will trains be next?

The plan is clear. Drive everywhere. Use gas. Be afraid.

Sorry, gotta' go take my thorazine now.

[whistle]

1. You left out mandatory body cavity searches

[burythehatchet]

11. No need for cavity searches

On site enema will be required.

[Cyrano]

12. How much crap do they think we'll stand for?

[BOSSHOG]

2. One might look at your post rationally

and come to the conclusion that the commander in chief of American armed forces for the past 5+ years is a fucking failure. Good news for bush, 30ish% of the american public is far from rational.

[JHB]

3. Yep. No clothes: they can explode. Saw it on "Mythbusters"

First exploding trousers, now Mentos and Coke.

Should we mention that two of the "Mythbusters" crew are "BattleBots" veterans?

That show's a regular terror-central, isn't it?

[sgxnk]

4. and a high colonic

before boarding the airplane

[Hugin]

6. Eeew! I hate the taste of magnesium citrate.

Talk about explosive diarrhea!

[sgxnk]

7. um...

i just got back from mexico

so, i'd rather not

[Cyrano]

5. Oops. Forgot teeth X-rays.

[Vidar]

8. "Drive everywhere. Use gas. Be afraid" You've nailed it..

[toska]

9. Just wait until the holiday

Imagine a bunch of families with kids on their way to grandmas for Christmas (or insert favorite holiday here). All the coats and hats and gloves that could be a "threat". Sorry kid, can't bring your gameboy in the cabin, we'll have to put it underneath. Try explaining to a thirsty two year old that they have to wait until the drink cart comes before they can have some water.

[Cyrano]

10. Do you suppose this could be a fundie plot?

After all, airplanes aren't mentioned in the bible. Oh well, back to horse drawn carriages.

[geniph]

13. And for the love of Pete, whatever you do,

don't FART!

"Everybody back! That man is exploding!"

[WiseButAngrySara]

14. LOL! Hey, that's the Garden of Eden you're describing! ....n/t