Democratic Underground Latest Greatest Lobby Journals Search Options Help Login
Google

Dept of Homeland Security Issues New Check In Guidelines

Printer-friendly format Printer-friendly format
Printer-friendly format Email this thread to a friend
Printer-friendly format Bookmark this thread
This topic is archived.
Home » Discuss » Archives » General Discussion (01/01/06 through 01/22/2007) Donate to DU
 
paparush Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-10-06 02:05 PM
Original message
Dept of Homeland Security Issues New Check In Guidelines
1. All potential passengers must arrive at the point of departure 48 hours in advance, where you will be disrobed and herded into an 'observation area'. This will begin the 48 hours of fasting needed to ensure that A) You do not injest anything potentially dangerous and B) If you have already injested such a substance, it will have to to *ahem* pass.

2. 30 Minutes prior to boarding the flight you will be cavity searched and given a 'free' MRI.

3. If the potential passenger successfully passes the above security screening, the passenger will then be escorted to their assigned seats and fitted with a four point restraining harness that is guaranteed to protect you from in-flight turbulence.

4. The blackout hoods will be removed once the pilot has turned off the "fasten seat belt" sign.

5. At the arrival gate, passengers will disembark to the awaiting security vans that will deliver you outside of the airport's secured perimeter.

Thank you for flying 'Murkin Airlines.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
TAPat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-10-06 02:07 PM
Response to Original message
1. It's the Only Way to Fly...
:patriot:

Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
Hugin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-10-06 02:09 PM
Response to Original message
2. Have you ever seen, "The Andromeda Strain"?
The part where the move between the levels of the underground lab.

That's the future of flight... Let me tell ya.
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
lutefisk Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-10-06 02:10 PM
Response to Original message
3. A minor inconvenience to protect our freedoms
Isn't that what the talking heads and their "experts" keep saying?
Printer Friendly | Permalink |  | Top
 
DU AdBot (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view 
this author's profile Click to add 
this author to your buddy list Click to add 
this author to your Ignore list Sun Apr 20th 2014, 02:42 PM
Response to Original message
Advertisements [?]
 Top

Home » Discuss » Archives » General Discussion (01/01/06 through 01/22/2007) Donate to DU

Powered by DCForum+ Version 1.1 Copyright 1997-2002 DCScripts.com
Software has been extensively modified by the DU administrators


Important Notices: By participating on this discussion board, visitors agree to abide by the rules outlined on our Rules page. Messages posted on the Democratic Underground Discussion Forums are the opinions of the individuals who post them, and do not necessarily represent the opinions of Democratic Underground, LLC.

Home  |  Discussion Forums  |  Journals |  Store  |  Donate

About DU  |  Contact Us  |  Privacy Policy

Got a message for Democratic Underground? Click here to send us a message.

© 2001 - 2011 Democratic Underground, LLC