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OK, we all need a laugh for a change!!!!

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napi21 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 08:28 PM
Original message
OK, we all need a laugh for a change!!!!
WHAT'S THE MOST FUNCTIONAL ENGLISH WORD?

Well, it's shit ... that's right, shit!
Shit may just be the most functional word in the English language.

Consider:
You can get shit-faced, Be shit-out-of-luck, Or have shit for brains.

With a little effort, you can get your shit together, find a place for
your shit, or be asked to shit or get off the pot.

You can smoke shit, buy shit, sell shit, lose shit, find shit, forget
shit, and tell others to eat shit.

Some people know their shit,
while others can't tell the difference between shit and shineola.

There are lucky shits, dumb shits, and crazy shits.
There is bull shit, horse shit, and chicken shit.

You can throw shit, sling shit, catch shit, shoot the shit,
or duck when the shit hits the fan.

You can give a shit or serve shit on a shingle.

You can find yourself in deep shit or be happier than a pig in shit.

Some days are colder than shit, some days are hotter than shit,
and some days are just plain shitty.

Some music sounds like shit, things can look like shit,
and there are times when you feel like shit.

You can have too much shit, not enough shit, the right shit,
the wrong shit or a lot of weird shit.

You can carry shit, have a mountain of shit,
or find yourself up shit creek without a paddle.

Sometimes everything you touch turns to shit
and other times you fall in a bucket of shit and come out smelling like
a rose.

When you stop to consider all the facts,
it's the basic building block of the English language.

And remember, once you know your shit, you don't need to know anything
else!!

You could pass this along, if you give a shit; or not do so if you don't
give a shit!

Well, Shit, it's time for me to go.
Just wanted you to know that I do give a shit and hope you had a nice
day, without a bunch of shit.

But, if you happened to catch a load of shit from some
shit-head...........

Well, Shit Happens!!!

(I received this in an email. Somehow I know this had to come from George Carlin even though the sender didn't give him credit!)
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Cleita Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 08:30 PM
Response to Original message
1. I was just going to say that you were channeling George Carlin.
Now I remember him doing it on TV.
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JuniperLea Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 08:31 PM
Response to Original message
2. Hehe!
Ok, please don't take offense, but your name can sometimes be full of shit too... you see, a "napi" in Brit-slang is a baby's diaper!

:o


:crazy:
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napi21 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 08:39 PM
Response to Reply #2
5. LOL. MY name is my dogs nickname. His registered name is
General Napoleon, and he's a BIG TOUGH 19 pound Bichon Frise!!!!

I've called him Napi all of his 16 years.
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JuniperLea Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 08:42 PM
Response to Reply #5
7. How precious is that?
I love dogs!

Mine have all but one been mutts :)
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napi21 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 08:50 PM
Response to Reply #7
9. All of mine, except for Napi, have been rescues.
I am a volunteer for a Bichon rescue group, and I've fostered about 18 different doggies in the last 3 years. One of the rescues is now mine. She simply captured my heart and I adopted her myself. She's also a Bichon.
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JuniperLea Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 08:57 PM
Response to Reply #9
12. Good for you!!!
I have a friend in PA who runs a Pit bull rescue with much success.

I've rescued a Jack Russell/Doxie mix... a Chiuahua... and my dear departed Cooper who was a German Shepherd/Dobie mix (111 lbs of loving lap puppy). I miss him so... I'll always rescue! The world's best dogs, I swear!
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Kingshakabobo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 08:31 PM
Response to Original message
3. That's the shit!!! n/t
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OhioBlue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 08:37 PM
Response to Original message
4. well..
at least you're not "knee deep in shit without a shovel!"

otherwise you would know that "shit ain't that bad" and if you "get your shit together", you will see that even tho some people think that "their shit doesn't stink", you've got the shit that matters!
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MamaBear Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 08:55 PM
Response to Reply #4
11. Some people think
Some people think their shit is fit to bottle and sell, but they're so full of shit their eyes are brown ... :shrug:
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Breeze54 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 08:41 PM
Response to Original message
6. lmao! Thanks!
I needed that! ;)

But if I need any shit? I'll just squeeze your head! :rofl:
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johnaries Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 08:46 PM
Response to Original message
8. Holy Shit! You may be right! But then again...
NAH! (with respect to Steve Martin and SNL).

What the shit are you trying to say, you piece of shit?

C'mon, cut the shit. I don't wanna see this shit again. The Human Race is all about progression. If our common language is obsessed with common excrement, what would this say about us as a society?

This is just total Bull Shit.

You need to stop this shit.

And I ain't shitting you.

No shit.

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MysteryToMyself Donating Member (302 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 08:53 PM
Response to Reply #8
10. I would rather say crap
Does that mean I am a lady?

There is not tall enough boots to wade through the republican crap!
:bounce:
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bdamomma Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 09:01 PM
Response to Original message
13. You can't beat Carlin
for saying the truth. and that's not bullshit!!!
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tandot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 09:13 PM
Response to Original message
14. I K&R, copied and emailed that shit
Thanks!

:yourock:
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