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Today's the day, right? Rapture Day?

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WilliamPitt Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 08:56 AM
Original message
Today's the day, right? Rapture Day?
Wasn't there some shit about 40 days after something else comes to August 3rd?

I'm ready.

;)
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SpiralHawk Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 08:58 AM
Response to Original message
1. Man, that was last year
Edited on Thu Aug-03-06 09:07 AM by SpiralHawk
You are like, so totally LEFT BEHIND

P.S. - that's me in the actual unphotoshopped documentary scene below -- good olde Spiral Hawk at the top of the Upflow -- making my way to Heavenly Paradise while all you Liberal Sinners choke on the polluted planet the republicon christofascists have bequeathed to you. Excuse me while I smirk the smirk of the elite.

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Sal Minella Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 09:02 AM
Original message
People who didn't have their toes pointed didn't get Raptured???
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MallRat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 10:09 AM
Response to Original message
24. There's a reason they call it "Rapture."
If they were barefoot, you'd see their toes are curled.
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TahitiNut Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 09:03 AM
Response to Reply #1
8. The Cult of Scottie.
The liturgy of "Beam Me Up" :eyes: I guess Icarus is their role model. :shrug:
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Bake Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 01:25 PM
Response to Reply #8
51. Yeah, but Icarus lost his wings, as I recall
Something about flying too close to the sun. Hubris, and all that.

Bake
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TahitiNut Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 01:48 PM
Response to Reply #51
55. He used wax. These people use duct tape.
:shrug:
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meegbear Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 09:08 AM
Response to Reply #1
9. I thought the sky would have been chuck full o' these people ...
I guess the big guy's getting picky.
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fasttense Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 09:17 AM
Response to Reply #1
13. Why are they raptured with their clothes on?
Would God need to have them clothed? They should all be naked in this picture. Now that I want to see.
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TahitiNut Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 09:22 AM
Response to Reply #13
14. "Now that I want to see."???
My eyes! My eyes!! No thank you!
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AntiFascist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 07:23 PM
Response to Reply #13
68. This reminds me of an episode of "Six Feet Under"....

a truck full of helium filled blowup dolls loses its load and they all flow up into the air. A crazy woman sees this and steps out of car, thinking that she's witnessing the rapture. Then she's struck and killed by another car. Very profound.
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guinivere Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 07:30 PM
Response to Reply #13
70. I read someplace where they somehow obtain a
Edited on Thu Aug-03-06 07:32 PM by guinivere
white Rapture dress/robe. And you have to wait around with your arms in the touch down position. :crazy:


I hope they don't poop on all of the Left Behinders as they whoosh upwards.
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MallRat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 10:00 AM
Response to Reply #1
21. If the Rapture really happened last year...
...then Jesus must have pretty damn high standards. The couple of fundies I know apparently didn't make the cut.

That said, the past year sure as hell feels like the Tribulation down here, doesn't it?

-MR
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theHandpuppet Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 10:07 AM
Response to Reply #1
23. I wonder what happened to that guy who quit his job...
... because he was sure the rapture was coming. Someone posted about this a few days ago.
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Renew Deal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 11:30 AM
Response to Reply #1
34. I thought we would all be raptured in the buff.
What's with all those clothes. Then again, don't tell the rapturists that they might see boobies. :nuke:
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sutz12 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 12:47 PM
Response to Reply #1
46. Wow, just like Carousel.....
;)
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ReadTomPaine Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 07:16 PM
Response to Reply #46
66. Yup.
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smirkymonkey Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 12:51 PM
Response to Reply #1
48. Wait, I thought only white people got raptured?
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Algorem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 07:11 PM
Response to Reply #1
64. ain't they sposed ta be nekkid?
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IselaB Donating Member (235 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 07:14 PM
Response to Reply #1
65. Those fools! That's not Jesus! That's the SUN, not the SON!
They're all going to be burnt to a crisp! Quick! Derapture! Derapture!

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havocmom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 08:58 AM
Response to Original message
2. Really? Hold the high fiber cereal...
I want cookies for breakfast!
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spinbaby Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 08:59 AM
Response to Original message
3. No, the rapture was on 6/6/06
You missed it.
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Sammy Pepys Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 09:00 AM
Response to Original message
4. I thought today was the day we invaded Iran...
...because of $4 a gallon gas.
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Snivi Yllom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 10:17 AM
Response to Reply #4
31. I thought it was the day Karl Rove's indictment was to be announced
:)
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JuniperLea Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 09:02 AM
Response to Original message
5. I'm ready!
I need a new car and I've always wanted to loot a liquor store!

I've been far too good for far too long... it will be time...
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notadmblnd Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 09:02 AM
Response to Original message
6. I heard it was on a Tuesday this year
It was either this Tuesday passed, or it is next Tuesday, I can't remember which?
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mtnsnake Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 09:02 AM
Response to Original message
7. According to the raving idiot evangelicals, the Mideast Crisis is latest
rapture and they're saying that Israel is following the bible or something by "defending" their own country and this is the latest rapture for sure.

Tune in same channel, same time tomorrow for the latest rapture when the last one doesn't work out.
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TahitiNut Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 09:09 AM
Response to Original message
10. Well, it's been 42 days since my birthday. (They're two days late.)
:evilgrin:
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Algorem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 09:13 AM
Response to Original message
11. Please God leave me behind so I can schmoke up everybody's stash.
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Options Remain Donating Member (475 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 09:17 AM
Response to Reply #11
12. It was Tuesday.,
no-one qualified.

oops.

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VelmaD Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 09:28 AM
Response to Original message
15. On the off chance that you make the cut...
and get raptured...I'll look after your cat. :)
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WilliamPitt Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 09:43 AM
Response to Reply #15
17. The cat'll go before I do
:)
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VelmaD Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 10:09 AM
Response to Reply #17
26. Then I'm thinking...
you're both probably rapture-proof. :P

Just think how much fun we'll have playing with all the left behind stuff. W00t!
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WolverineDG Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 12:57 PM
Response to Reply #26
50. Not to mention
the fact that now all the nuts are gone, they won't be able to vote in November! :evilgrin:

dg
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gauguin57 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 09:29 AM
Response to Original message
16. Duct tape? Tuna? What do I need to stock for the rapture?
Geez. Homeland security tells me what I need to stockpile every time there's a threat of ANYTHING. I have NO idea how to prepare for the Tribulation that's supposed to happen when all the Fundies are Raptured. Hey! Michael Chertof! What in the hell am I supposed to be doing to get ready for this?
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libnnc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 09:48 AM
Response to Original message
18. Hey, maybe I'll get somebody's car....
I should go trolling the fundie mega churches for a sweet new Mustang.
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MallRat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 09:50 AM
Response to Original message
19. All right... I'll say it...
I think they meant 40 "business" days, Will.

:spank:

I am a bad, bad person.

-MR
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VelmaD Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 10:11 AM
Response to Reply #19
27. Heeeeee....
that was just wrong. :spank:

Funny...but wrong. *snort*
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MallRat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 10:17 AM
Response to Reply #27
30. I kid because I love.
It's just... when a juicy setup kicks off a thread like that, I can't resist offering up the punch line.

Sorry, Will. You threw a meatball right over the plate. No hard feelings. :-)

-MR
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WilliamPitt Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 12:00 PM
Response to Reply #30
41. Set, spike
Ah, verbal volleyball. ;)
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deaniac21 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 10:11 AM
Response to Reply #19
28. I still don't understand how that is calculated....
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arwalden Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 04:49 PM
Response to Reply #19
62. Heeee!
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bigtree Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 09:54 AM
Response to Original message
20. great
back to bed
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endarkenment Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 10:04 AM
Response to Original message
22. I am so ready!
The world will be a much better place after they are gone. Hopefully the rapturization will take the true believers of all faiths and not just our own christian fundies.

Imagine no religion.
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Renew Deal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 11:31 AM
Response to Reply #22
36. Actually
Wouldn't we all be Christians?
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endarkenment Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 12:32 PM
Response to Reply #36
44. Not in my version.
In my version of the rapturization all the true believers of the Jerusalem God get whisked away. It turns out that it was the devil who broke their faith into three warring factions.
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Philosoraptor Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 10:09 AM
Response to Original message
25. You'll have to speak up, I can barely hear you up here in heaven
Suckerrrrrr.
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Ganja Ninja Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 10:14 AM
Response to Original message
29. Sorry Will, it was yesterday and you missed it.
:shrug:
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k_jerome Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 11:26 AM
Response to Original message
32. I think that was 40 BUSINESS days. nt.
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WilliamPitt Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 11:43 AM
Response to Reply #32
37. MallRat already dropped that one
Post 19. Be quicker next time.
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k_jerome Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 11:52 AM
Response to Reply #37
40. sleeping off a massive hangover. my bad dude. nt.
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WoodrowFan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 11:28 AM
Response to Original message
33. I'd hang around to discuss it
but there are free cars everywhere around here now, just sitting in the road with their engines running. Most of them seem to be Volvos and Prius' though, not a damn Mercedes, BMW or Jag in the lot.
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HiFructosePronSyrup Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 11:30 AM
Response to Original message
35. got a memo...
"Won't be in the office today. Having a pedicure and a facial. Basically a girl's day out."

-God

P.S. Can you stop this bombing shit please? Thanks a bunch!
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Swamp Rat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 11:45 AM
Response to Original message
38. Hey all you 'rapture people!!!'
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EFerrari Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 12:44 PM
Response to Reply #38
45. Yeah -- the Army could use those Hummers!
:rofl:
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LeftHander Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 11:48 AM
Response to Original message
39. Look out for diverless cars today.....
As those Christians ascend into the glory of Jesus they will leave those speeding SUV's behind to crash into God knows what...(I guess he would know...I mean HE is the one..white beard, hair, robes and all)
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SaveElmer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 12:01 PM
Response to Original message
42. It happened...everyone failed...nt
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JuniperLea Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 12:18 PM
Response to Original message
43. Keep your eyes open for the "Hole in the Sky"

I'm looking through a hole in the sky
I'm seeing nowhere through the eyes of a lie
I'm getting closer to the end of the line
I'm living easy where the sun doesn't shine

I'm living in a room without any view
I'm living free because the rent's never due
The synonym of all the things that I've said
Are just the riddles that are built in my head

Hole in the sky
Gateway to heaven
Window in time
Through it I fly

I've seen the stars that disappear in the sun
But shooting's easy if you've got the right gun
And even though I'm sitting waiting for Mars
I don't believe there's any future in cars

Hole in the sky
Gateway to heaven
Window in time
Through it I fly

I've watched the dogs of war enjoying their feast
I've seen the western world go down in the east
The food of love became the greed of our time
But now I'm living on the profits of crime
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matcom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 12:50 PM
Response to Original message
47. if you see my dog flying by
errr ummm i'm really not sure WHAT you should do about it

maybe send me a PM if that happens
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Yavin4 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 12:54 PM
Response to Original message
49. Can You Just Imagine The Party We'll Have Once The Fundies Float Away
My word!
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Bake Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 01:30 PM
Response to Original message
52. "A day is as a thousand years"
I think that's somewhere in the Old Testament. So let's see, 40 days COULD be 40,000 years. So let's all check in again on August 3, 45,006.

Bake
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malaise Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 01:31 PM
Response to Original message
53. So where's the celebration party
I'd love to have a drink, or two, or three to wave off the Fundies.
We can draw lots for their bank accounts.
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Rex Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 01:33 PM
Response to Original message
54. I dunno, lemme ask Jesus.
He wants another hit, first. Then he will think about it. Jesus is bogarting the bong! Ha! He just made a funny! Wants more doritos.
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lectrobyte Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 01:53 PM
Response to Original message
56. July 5th was the Church of the Subgenius's X-Day, when they believe
the flying saucers will return and take Bob's true believers away.
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Hubert Flottz Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 01:55 PM
Response to Original message
57. I had been wondering where my dog went!
Edited on Thu Aug-03-06 01:58 PM by Hubert Flottz
I'd looked everywhere.

Edit...My neighbor goes to church and his wife don't, so do you think it would be alright if I take up the slack for him snould he be called away?
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Critters2 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 07:19 PM
Response to Reply #57
67. You really ought to be asking her eom
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LSK Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 01:58 PM
Response to Original message
58. i thought it was last tuesday
Maybe that was only for the Central Kansas Tuesday Christ Fundie Sect.
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Cleita Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 02:03 PM
Response to Original message
59. So what happens?
Do they all defy gravity and float up to heaven? Seems that would kill them off when they leave Earth's atmosphere.

So instead would UFO's that have life support pick them up and transport them there? Is this whole scenario something cooked up by ET's whose favorite book is "To Serve Man"?

:evilgrin:
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tinfoilinfor2005 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 02:42 PM
Response to Original message
60. When I was a little girl my grandmother used to tell me the story about
when she was three or four, and all the grownups decided that it was going to be the end of the world because there was a comet coming that night. Every one in the entire town dressed in white and they all climbed to the top of a prominent hill in town to await the end of the world. Grandma remembered them singing songs and saying prayers. She said once it got dark, she fell asleep. Next thing she remembered, she was back home in her own bed, and life went on as per usual. She lived to be ninety three and loved to tell that story.
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leeroysphitz Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 02:48 PM
Response to Original message
61. If it happens we may ALL get to go. Let my tell you why.
I have a theory. I am a skeptic and an atheist but all this talk about the rapture lately has got me to thinkin' (Ho ho!).

Here's the premise: True believers will ascend to Heaven at the time of the rapture.

Here's the theory: I don't believe in God and I see Christianity as a myth structure that can't be verified. I've never seen proof of the existence of any deity. HOWEVER, I consider myself to be open minded and objective (I believe in quarks and other things I can't see only because, through education, I've been exposed to convincing evidence.)

So, being an open minded atheist if I walked outside this evening, looked around and noticed thousands of people floating up into the sky while trumpets blared, and winged people with fiery swords were running around shouting, etc... etc... then at that moment I would have to believe. There wouldn't be so much as a doubt in my mind. I wouldn't choose to believe I would simply believe my own eyes because now, all-of-a sudden I would have PROOF, some fairly solid evidence-right?

So at that instant I would, BOOM!, become a True Believer and as long as that happens before the whole thing is over then BINGO! I was a True Believer AT THE TIME OF THE RAPTURE and so: I'm IN! Sweet!

It doesn't really seem fair to all the fundies who have been denying themselves any kind of real fun for all these years but hey the rules are the rules.
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SpiralHawk Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 06:21 PM
Response to Reply #61
63. You forgot about Catch-22, Leroy
And BELIEVE ME, it's a doozy of a catch.
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guinivere Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 07:42 PM
Response to Reply #61
71. So, no new car. No house. No big party.
That's no damn good.
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Horse with no Name Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 07:26 PM
Response to Original message
69. I wonder if I have time to go out and buy new shoes...
For some reason I didn't know this. :evilgrin:
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