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A Voting System I Think Everyone Can Agree On

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cherokeeprogressive Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 01:18 AM
Original message
A Voting System I Think Everyone Can Agree On
Electronic ballots suck.
Paper ballots suck because we don't know who's counting them or if they're even counted once the polls are closed.
Absentee ballots suck for the same reason.

Here's my idea:

Counties should hire (at a living wage), employees to go to every high school, Denny's, IHOP, Mickey D's etc. to scrape, from the bottom of their tables and chairs, the ABC (Already Been Chewed) gum that's been deposited there. I used to teach at the adult level and one summer our custodians scraped SEVEN POUNDS of gum from the tables and chairs.

Once the county has all that gum, we hire employees (at a living wage) to melt it down, disinfect it, and scientifically separate it into equal pea-sized portions.

At the polling place, we have metal boxes, sealed with lead-encased depleted-uranium seals (to discourage voting shenanigans from happening). One for each candidate in each race, two for each issue.

When you've proven your eligibility to vote in your precinct, you're issued one piece of ABC gum for each race, and one for each issue.

When you've decided which candidate you want to vote for, you bite down on one of your pieces of ABC gum, and drop it into the box. Same for each issue.

The benefits are two-fold. The county would not only be able to track your vote according to your dental records, but since the ABC gum was in your mouth they'd also have a DNA record of your vote because of the saliva you left on the ABC gum. If you were feeling froggy and tried to vote twice for any candidate or issue, the county would be able to detect it quite easily, and the penalty for that shall be death by being "drawn and quartered".

You want unbeatable accountability in elections?

Here's your answer.

Just a thought.
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cali boy Donating Member (6 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 01:22 AM
Response to Original message
1. thats a damn fine idea
im pretty sure the gum from my school alone could account for my whole county
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newyawker99 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 10:04 AM
Response to Reply #1
3. Hi cali boy!!
Welcome to DU!! :toast:
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bigwillq Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 10:09 AM
Response to Reply #1
4. Hello!
Welcome to DU! :hi:
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amerikat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 01:59 AM
Response to Original message
2. Diebold will soon be in the chewing gum business
and will buy the lab that certifies the "gum vote count".
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cherokeeprogressive Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-04-06 02:00 AM
Response to Reply #2
5. So Then
I'm guessing that your opinion is that there is NO SAFE, VERIFIABLE, and ACCOUNTABLE PROCESS FOR VOTING.

Would that about cover it?
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