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Hobarticus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-02-06 11:03 PM
Original message
Poll question: Well, I've finally done it....
Edited on Wed Aug-02-06 11:05 PM by Hobarticus
I finally started blocking my old man's e-mails.

I had told him that we're better off keeping our respective opinions to ourselves. They kept coming. I started sending out rebuttals to all the addressees in the blanket e-mail, including his upper-class white-bread cranky old friends. They kept coming. Time and time again, he insists on taking an e-dump in my inbox with tired country-club bigot talking points, and he knows it pisses me off.

So today, I created a filter, and starting deleting my father's e-mails. I have never done that to people that I wished to distance myself from, it just seems so final.

Should I feel guilty?

Sorry, polls are turned off at Level 3.

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cynatnite Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-02-06 11:06 PM
Response to Original message
1. No, you shouldn't...
If you've asked him not to send you these things and he continues to do so, blocking him is the correct thing to do.

When he asks if you read something he sent, you can say no because I blocked them. Maybe then he'll get the message.
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Hobarticus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-02-06 11:15 PM
Response to Reply #1
4. Actually, for being a hypocritical family-abandoning turdbucket...
he's a pretty charming and funny guy. My wife thinks he's a hoot, in spite of his history. I enjoy talking to him on the phone. I just can't take his e-mails, anymore. Maybe he will get the hint.
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cynatnite Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-02-06 11:24 PM
Response to Reply #4
6. My sister used to do the same...
She'd send me ignorant emails and would get mad when she didn't like how I responded. I told her 'then don't send me anymore'. She hasn't sent me one in quite a while now.

Without having to deal with this kind of crud in your mail box, this won't spill over into your relationship with him.
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Straight Shooter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-02-06 11:07 PM
Response to Original message
2. It's okay to feel a little guilty.
You don't have to tell him his messages are being filtered. You're not being disrespectful, but I understand the tinge of guilt.

Maybe someday he'll see the truth. :shrug:

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hfojvt Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-02-06 11:11 PM
Response to Original message
3. that's rough
once again, I have to be thankful for my parents. They switched from Republican to Democrat even before I did, although Dad likes Clark and mom likes Biden, so I am not sure how progressive they are. But I still tolerate occasional RW dumps from my brother. Not very frequent - maybe 4 a year, and I sent my whole family a Kerry vs. Bush analysis so I would hate to see people shunned for expressing their political opinions. Unfortunately, they send the kinda chain letters instead of their own opinions, but I just reply all and play Snopes to their Limbaugh.
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Hobarticus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-02-06 11:22 PM
Response to Reply #3
5. I guess if I got e-mails besides these...
I'd be more tolerant of them. But I rarely get "hi, howaya" e-mails from him. Pretty disappointing when your only contact makes your blood boil.
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hfojvt Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-02-06 11:51 PM
Response to Reply #5
15. "I know a father who had a son
and longed to tell him all the reasons
for the things he'd done
he came a long way
just to explain
kissed his boy as he lay sleeping
then he turned around
and headed home again."

Paul Simon "Slip sliding away"

Sadly, men are often not known for their ability to express themselves in letters. My mom does most of the writing, and even then it tends to be weather and all the bad medical news she has heard.
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sandnsea Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-02-06 11:31 PM
Response to Original message
7. Delete is that hard??
If he doesn't send you anything but propaganda emails, then I guess no harm, no foul. But I hate to think you're dumping family friendly emails along with the garbage. I get weird stuff from my family too, but I generally just delete it. Don't see what's so hard about that.
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Hobarticus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-02-06 11:34 PM
Response to Reply #7
10. Thing is, it's really all I get from him...
Edited on Wed Aug-02-06 11:36 PM by Hobarticus
so it probably isn't too much of a loss. The guy isn't exactly 'family-friendly', in any case. Not to sound pathtic or anything, but I really ain't going to be missing much. Besides, the phones still work.
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sandnsea Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 02:20 AM
Response to Reply #10
19. Well if it's just junk
Then perhaps it's best in order to prevent animosities when you actually get together in person. My niece is an email forwarder, once in a while she sends a real doozie. Mostly I just don't even open them. But whatever makes it easier to tolerate family I suppose.
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Wickerman Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-02-06 11:32 PM
Response to Original message
8. Wow, a sibling I didn't even know I had!
Seriously, sorry to hear its come to that. My dad, obviously, is the same way. It is SO annoying to never receive a "how ya doing" email - just the blanket bigot emails. He tired of it eventually, now we talk once a year and see each other every couple for a few hours. I never thought of deleting his emails via the spam guard, but it probably would've been a healthier thing than stewing about it.

Good luck with this - give it some time and see how you feel about it later. And, heck, if there is never a chatting email you aren't missing squat.
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TahitiNut Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-02-06 11:33 PM
Response to Original message
9. Report it as SPAM
Edited on Wed Aug-02-06 11:37 PM by TahitiNut
http://www.spamcop.net

Simple. When people don't honor my request that they desist sending me email, I report 'em to their ISP's Abuse Department. Life's too short to fuck around with cretins. SpamCop does it for me.

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Phredicles Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-02-06 11:35 PM
Response to Original message
11. He KNOWS you don't want him sending you the stuff:
What's to feel guilty about?
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Hobarticus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-02-06 11:37 PM
Response to Reply #11
12. Some crazy notion of family I have, that never seemed to matter to him
in the first place.

Wow, really hanging out the laundry tonight, ain't I?!?
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everythingsxen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-02-06 11:39 PM
Response to Original message
13. Family is family...
you could just ignore the hate filled stuff and continue trying to make your own points. In the end he's still your dad, even if you disagree with him.
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marions ghost Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Aug-02-06 11:47 PM
Response to Original message
14. you just took an important step
in defining boundaries. To continue to inflict this junk on you after you asked him not to is obnoxious and aggressive. Never mind that he's family. You don't have to put up with it. I advise not to tangle with him about it. Move beyond. These guys were enjoying your rebuttals most likely, which you've probably realized were just a waste of your time. You have taken the mature approach. Let it die.

Meanwhile DO NOT feel guilty. This is freedom --from small abuses, daily violations. You can't depend on your father or his friends to grow up. Accept him as he is, but don't take his crap.
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Reckon Donating Member (729 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 01:05 AM
Response to Original message
16. I would suggest you stop being reactionary to
Edited on Thu Aug-03-06 01:07 AM by Reckon
their talking points. Ignore what they say and start sending them off topic videos, links, copy-paste text. Easy stuff -- no debate! Keeps them busy defending. When they reply, just send another video, etc.

You have a good list, and plenty of info. If you make good use of it some people wake up!

edit: spelling.
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KT2000 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 02:07 AM
Response to Original message
17. Wow - from your description
it sounds like my now departed uncle. I spent a couple weeks with him - assisting him after the death of his wife and nearly went bonkers. I am not kidding you. It was non-stop RW crap. He was country club too and said everything with a smile and what probably at one time passed for charm - but it was hatred and resentment of other people (mainly the poor) at its core.
Actually it was pathological.

I'm not kidding - this stuff is poison and they should not be enabled and you should not be dumped on - and that is what it is. They trade their hate talk among themselves and they have to relieve themselves on others as apparently it builds up.

If I were you, I would write a letter and explain your position (again) and maybe tell him your good personal feelings for him. And then, insist he respect your request. At some point this is abusive behavior and he needs to learn that.

My uncle ended up very alone in his old age. The children of his RW friends picked him clean of his antiques. His political bloviating was not appreciated at assisted care facilities. And he ended up being cared for by people he had spent his life despising.

Guess we have lessons to learn till the day we die.

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Reckon Donating Member (729 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 02:16 AM
Response to Reply #17
18. You can't talk or debate them.
Just overwhelm them with "Everything this Admin does sucks info!". I mean really, they can't deny it, that's why they like to talk the bigot stuff. That's all they've got!
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KT2000 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 02:30 AM
Response to Reply #18
21. Oh no - no discussion
when pushed - these people can get pretty mean - especially dangerous in family relationships.
I don't want to debate them either.
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alittlelark Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-03-06 02:21 AM
Response to Original message
20. My RW Fundamentalist Mom does the same.
She is the editor of the Creationist Newsletter. She sends me a copy every month along w/ various 'articles' PROVING Creationism.

I see her on trips back home. I do not 'communicate' w/her. It is sad, but she is too far gone for help. :shrug: :cry: :shrug:
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