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Erika Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jul-15-06 02:54 AM
Original message
No rapture again tonight
Be kind to the bushbot fundies. But I did hear that Robertson and Falwell are offering to relieve them of their money so they will go "poor and humble" into the rapture. Falwell and Robertson are probably raking in a 1,000 bucks an hour.
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Poll_Blind Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jul-15-06 02:56 AM
Response to Original message
1. I was practicing sodomy all night last night hoping to "tip the scales"...
...as it were, for a Rapture on the 13th. Screwed again!

PB
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saltpoint Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jul-15-06 02:58 AM
Response to Original message
2. You know, I think the Rapture WAS scheduled for tonight, but evidently
"all those tubes" on the internet and infommercials on cable blocked it.

We better call Ted Stevens' office and ask him what to do.
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cboy4 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jul-15-06 03:17 AM
Response to Reply #2
8. Hey, did you get the "internet" I sent you regarding your post???
:spray:
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saltpoint Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jul-15-06 11:45 AM
Response to Reply #8
19. Hi, cboy. Good to see you. Yep, that Ted Stevens is right on top
of things, isn't he?

All those tubes. Thank god we have somebody like Ted in charge over in where they make they make all those laws and stuff.
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stevedeshazer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jul-15-06 12:06 PM
Response to Reply #19
21. Hokey Smokes
Ted Stevens is a top?
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saltpoint Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jul-15-06 12:16 PM
Response to Reply #21
22. LOL!
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cboy4 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jul-15-06 02:08 PM
Response to Reply #21
23. Thanks for ruining my lunch
:)
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cboy4 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jul-15-06 02:11 PM
Response to Reply #19
24. Good to see you also! I'm actually surprised Ted has the
internets in his office.

He seems more like a teletype kinda guy ;)
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saltpoint Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jul-15-06 05:09 PM
Response to Reply #24
25. LOL! You may be being too generous.
I think Ted may be more of a butter churn type of guy.

O well, nevermind. Ted's on his way out. He doesn't know it yet. But he is.

Wave bye-bye to the nice people, Ted.
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still_one Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jul-15-06 02:59 AM
Response to Original message
3. thanks, that means I can go to sleep tonight
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mdmc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jul-15-06 03:02 AM
Response to Original message
4. Looks like work on Monday
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wellst0nev0ter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jul-15-06 03:02 AM
Response to Original message
5. Damn, Another Day Dealing With The Fundyclowns (n/t)
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DELUSIONAL Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jul-15-06 03:10 AM
Response to Original message
6. damned just when we though we were getting rid of the lunatics
so the world could be left for us devils -- we learn that the lunatics are still waiting.

I've googled: 1844 rapture and learned that it has probably already taken place:

The Rapture?

Much has been said in religious circles about the rapture. Most seem to believe it is an event in which the righteous will be taken from this earth while the rest are left behind. Jesus did hint at this when he said, "one will be taken and the other left."

A lot of millenial fever was stirred up in the years leading to 1844, a year a lay Bible student named William Miller thought the rapture would take place. Large numbers of people were disappointed when the expected return of Christ did not take place as expected.

The actual rapture, however, has most likely already occurred, taking place some time between 1844 and our day. Jesus did say few would be saved, and it's entirely likely that only ten souls were taken when the rapture did occur -- and all of them from the same place.

In November of 1872 a ship bound from New York to Italy, carrying American wood alcohol, was found adrift with no crew aboard. The Mary Celeste had been captained by a Puritan, Benjamin Briggs, who took his wife and daughter with him. The family, and seven crew members, were never found. Could it be they were taken away in the rapture?


http://www.renaesroom.com/SmartAlyx/rapture.html


Oh gosh -- and then there the timeline for rapture ready folks

http://www.raptureready.com/rr-date-setters.html

When do we get to say I told you so!

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The_Casual_Observer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jul-15-06 03:14 AM
Response to Original message
7. I would gladly offer some suggestions that would do the job.
1. Run car engine in closed garage.
2. Belt attached to shower handle
3. Sleeping pills and Alcohol.

Dear fundies, may your rupture be joyous!
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MichaelHarris Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jul-15-06 03:21 AM
Response to Original message
9. I'm glad it wasn't tonight
I was right in the middle of a porn-a-thon and would really like to clean my hard drive before the Rapture.
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blogslut Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jul-15-06 03:39 AM
Response to Original message
10. The SubGenius
...had this very problem back in 1998. Our armageddon (X-Day) came and went. No Xists. No spaceship. The pinks were still alive.

Then, we figured it out! Someone got the date upside down! X-Day isn't supposed to happen in 1998! It happens in 8661! Rejoice! Quit your job!

Join the Church of the Subgenius - Eternal Salvation or Your Money Back!
http://www.subgenius.com/pam1/pamphlet_p1.html
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VolcanoJen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jul-15-06 03:41 AM
Response to Original message
11. Well, Bush is on TV with Putin, so give it a minute.
Maybe someone will ask Bush about the pig.
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Olney Blue Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jul-15-06 03:50 AM
Response to Reply #11
14. And the blivet is giving his usual embarassing performance on the
world stage.
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VolcanoJen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jul-15-06 03:57 AM
Response to Reply #14
15. I'm so proud, as an American, that our leader can crack jokes...
... and make the press corps laugh, in the middle of a horrific crisis.

:eyes:

It's fucking upsetting, is what it is.
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pa28 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jul-15-06 03:45 AM
Response to Original message
12. Aww. And they've worked so hard for Armageddon.
Great prank. Release helium filled sex dolls at the Republican National Convention and watch the fun!
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Liberal In Texas Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jul-15-06 03:46 AM
Response to Original message
13. Check in again tomorrow night. You may have missed it.
Oh.

And don't hold your breath if it doesn't happen. It's kind of like waiting up to see Santa.

Execpt Santa is real

We're always going to be stuck with them Fundies.
Like mosquitos on the 4th.

The RAPTURE is bunk.

Double your money back guarantee.

Won't happen. Ever.


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Swamp Rat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jul-15-06 04:03 AM
Response to Original message
16. I wish they'd hurry up and leave already.
Gas prices would go down, and I need a new car. :bounce:
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Hekate Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jul-15-06 04:44 AM
Response to Original message
17. I tried to visit the Rapture Ready site, but it closed my Netscape down
Probably because I wasn't approaching the task with a pure heart. :rofl:
I love those bumper stickers that say "When the Rapture takes you, can I have your Beemer?"

Hekate

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DoYouEverWonder Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jul-15-06 05:45 AM
Response to Original message
18. It must have happened already and we missed it
because they turned off the Messiah Cam in Jerusalem.

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DFLer4edu Donating Member (675 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jul-15-06 11:59 AM
Response to Original message
20. The sad thing is Bush has never said that the rapture ain't coming
he is afraid to offend loyal voters
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