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ecstatic Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-16-06 11:13 AM
Original message
Silly freeper gathers list of Bill Clinton quotes to counter Bushisms
lol. G.W. does sound dumb. Bill Clinton was just as funny. I guess together they are dumb and dumber.

************************************************** ****


"It depends on what the meaning of the words 'is' is." Bill Clinton, during his 1998 grand jury testimony on the Monica Lewinsky affair

"It depends on how you define alone" Bill Clinton, in his grand jury testimony

"There were a lot of times when we were alone, but I never really thought we were." Bill Clinton, in his grand jury testimony

"What's a man got to do to get in the top fifty?" Bill Clinton, reacting to a survey of journalists that ranked the Monica Lewinsky scandal as the 53rd most significant story of the century

"I don't know whether it's the finest public housing in America or the crown jewel of the American penal system." Bill Clinton, on the White House

"When I was in England, I experimented with marijuana a time or two, and I didn't like it.

I didn't inhale and never tried it again." Bill Clinton

"Politics gives guys so much power that they tend to behave badly around women. And I hope I never get into that." Bill Clinton, to a woman friend while he was a Rhodes scholar at Oxford

"It was a real sort of Southern deal. I had AstroTurf in the back. You don't want to know why, but I did." Bill Clinton, reminiscing about a pickup truck he once owned

"You know, if I were a single man, I might ask that mummy out. That's a good-looking mummy" Bill Clinton, looking at "Juanita," a newly discovered Incan mummy on display at the National Geographic museum

"Being president is like running a cemetery: you've got a lot of people under you and nobody's listening." Bill Clinton

"Last year, the vice president launched a new effort to help make communities more liberal." Bill Clinton, during his 2000 State of the Union Speech. He meant to say "more livable," and then made the same slip-up in a subsequent sentence, drawing uproarious laughter from Republicans

"I asked him to do it because he was the only person that I could trust to read all 150,000 pages in the Code of Federal Regulations." Bill Clinton, on asking Vice President Al Gore to tackle federal regulatory reform

"I'm someone who had a deep emotional attachment to 'Starsky and Hutch.'" Bill Clinton

"Sometimes I feel like the fire hydrant looking at a pack of dogs. For six years I had declined to tell those kinds of jokes, because I have been told it is not presidential. But I feel kind of outdoorsy today." Bill Clinton, at a party honoring the 150th anniversary of the Interior Department

"Well, I don't have much job security." Bill Clinton, in 1992, on why he still plays the saxophone

"Usually briefs." Bill Clinton, asked during a 1994 MTV town meeting whether he wore boxer shorts or briefs

"Look, half the time when I see the evening news, I wouldn't be for me, either." Bill Clinton, in 1995, on a pre-campaign swing through Montana and Colorado

"There are always going to be people who want to be president, and some days I'd like to give it to them." Bill Clinton, in 1993

"The economy has produced 6.1 million jobs since I became president, and if Michael Jordan comes back to the Bulls, it will be 6,100,001 jobs." Bill Clinton, in 1995

"It wasn't my finest hour. It wasn't even my finest hour and a half." Bill Clinton, after giving an endless nominating speech for Michael Dukakis at the 1988 Democratic convention

"You'd think he was running for First Lady." Bill Clinton, on George H. W. Bush's criticism of Hillary Clinton

"If President Reagan could be an actor and become president, maybe I could become an actor. I've got a good pension. I can work for cheap." -Bill Clinton, at a Hollywood fundraiser

"I may not have been the greatest president, but I've had the most fun eight years." Bill Clinton


http://www.automotiveforums.com/vbulletin/showthread.ph...
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meegbear Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-16-06 11:15 AM
Response to Original message
1. Considering the past couple years ...
there have been * daily quote calendars, * beat Bill in January alone.
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PatrioticLeftie Donating Member (909 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-16-06 11:15 AM
Response to Original message
2. There is no possible way
that he can match all the abuses of English language Bush has said. How many are there? More than 365 I know.
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Rabrrrrrr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-16-06 11:17 AM
Response to Original message
3. Well, if that's the worst they can come up, then we're pretty safe.
Edited on Mon Jan-16-06 11:18 AM by Rabrrrrrr
Hell, we could fill a whole calendar just with the LIES of Fuckstick, let alone his manglings of the language.
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Richardo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-16-06 11:17 AM
Response to Original message
4. A lot of those are self-deprecating, something Bush could never do.
And hardly any slaughter the language like Bush can't NOT do.
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jackster Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-16-06 11:18 AM
Original message
How do these in any freaking way
compare with the mega-lies and complete toasting of the English language exhibited by our favorite Chimperor in Chief?
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IChing Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-16-06 11:18 AM
Response to Original message
5. I have that card in my deck
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kikiek Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-16-06 11:18 AM
Response to Original message
6. Actually Clinton is witty. Bush is just plain dumb. This proves it.
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meganmonkey Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-16-06 11:21 AM
Response to Reply #6
12. Yep - that's what I was thinking too
A couple of them are doofus-like things to say, but for the most part, they are funny. He has a real sense of humor - imagine that?!
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ecstatic Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-16-06 11:22 AM
Response to Reply #6
13. exactly! Clinton's jokes were jokes, made on purpose...
LOL... Bush's comments are indicative of an idiot trying to sound intelligent. LOL
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EFerrari Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-16-06 11:28 AM
Response to Reply #13
17. "You'd think he was running for First Lady."
:rofl:
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mark11727 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-16-06 11:29 AM
Response to Reply #6
21. You nailed it --- Clinton said these jokes ON PURPOSE.
Bush just engages his mouth and hopes for the best. It's never pretty.
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The Backlash Cometh Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-16-06 11:19 AM
Response to Original message
7. At least now we know why Clinton got the white Southern male vote.
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NaturalHigh Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-16-06 11:19 AM
Response to Original message
8. You have to admit there are some funny ones in there.
From everything I've ever heard or read, Bill Clinton has a great sense of humor. I don't think he would mind me chuckling at a couple of those. I have two Bushism books and one book of Clinton's (and associates') funny quotes. They are all great reading when I'm bored.

On another note, that nominating speech for Dukakis in 1988 was mind-numbing. He even made a joke about it himself on Johnny Carson.
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stevedeshazer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-16-06 11:20 AM
Response to Original message
9. Most of them are actually funny
Nothing Bush says is funny.
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ClassWarrior Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-16-06 11:20 AM
Response to Original message
10. Does he realize that Clinton isn't President anymore?...
(Not that Bush** ever was...)

NGU.


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Chimichurri Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-16-06 11:21 AM
Response to Original message
11. "You'd think he was running for First Lady." Bill Clinton, on George H. W
LOL - good one.

I like these quotes from Bill. I'd rather a horny president then a warmongering, powerhungry one. This quote "it'd be a heckuv a lot easier if this were a dictatorship - specially if I were the dictator" by Dubya beats all of these hands down. I'll give it to them. Their guy wins!

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xchrom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-16-06 11:23 AM
Response to Original message
14. ...
"What's a man got to do to get in the top fifty?" Bill Clinton, reacting to a survey of journalists that ranked the Monica Lewinsky scandal as the 53rd most significant story of the century''


:rofl: ya gotta love that!
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bleedingheart Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-16-06 11:29 AM
Response to Reply #14
23. I agree that one is a classic....
pretty funny...
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Tesla Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-16-06 11:43 AM
Response to Reply #14
31. Good one!!!
I Bill!!!
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semillama Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-16-06 12:43 PM
Response to Reply #14
42. especially since the advent of *
now Clinton doesn't stand a chance of cracking the top 100.
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mikehiggins Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-16-06 11:24 AM
Response to Original message
15. Jeeze, they never seem to get it, do they?
The difference between humor and stupidity is not hard to recognise, if you have any sort of intelligence. Most of Clinton's remarks were pretty sharp, to say the least, especially the last one.

Compare that with Bozo? Give me a break.

The stupidity of the genus Freeper is inherent in the breed.
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robbedvoter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-16-06 11:28 AM
Response to Reply #15
18. And therein lies the problem.
If there ever was an argument for NEVER EVER trying to argue with them or attempt to change their minds - this is IT.
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Mutley Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-16-06 11:27 AM
Response to Original message
16. Everyone says dumb sh*t once in awhile...
But BigDawg doesn't come close to touching Bush! And some of those quotes are actually pretty funny. I wouldn't consider all of them bad.
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Hamlette Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-16-06 11:28 AM
Response to Original message
19. big difference, these quotes make sense n/t
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More Than A Feeling Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-16-06 11:28 AM
Response to Original message
20. Even his worst slip-ups are funny ha-ha funny
not funny they-make-me-want-to-punch-something funny, like Bush's.
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RufusEarl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-16-06 11:29 AM
Response to Original message
22. Not Bill,
"I don't know whether it's the finest public housing in America or the crown jewel of the American penal system." Bill Clinton, on the White House

This is a Harry Truman quote, bill may have said it, but harry thought of it.
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Libby2 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-16-06 11:33 AM
Response to Original message
24. LMAO, this one is great.
"I may not have been the greatest president, but I've had the most fun eight years." Bill Clinton

I'll bet the freepers hate it.
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NYC Liberal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-16-06 11:33 AM
Response to Original message
25. Those quotations would be known as "wit" not "mistakes."
Compare this:

"The economy has produced 6.1 million jobs since I became president, and if Michael Jordan comes back to the Bulls, it will be 6,100,001 jobs." (Humor)

with

"You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test." (Fucking stupid.)
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NYC Liberal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-16-06 11:33 AM
Response to Original message
26. delete
Edited on Mon Jan-16-06 11:33 AM by NYC Liberal
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Arkansas Granny Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-16-06 11:33 AM
Response to Original message
27. What they fail to consider is the fact that Clinton, in most of these
quotes, was trying to be funny. Bush was usually being serious when he delivered most of his gems.
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MindPilot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-16-06 11:35 AM
Response to Original message
28. Those are nice snappy one liners--the kinds of thing I would say
Nothing falls to the level of OB-GYNs practicing their love with women, or catapulting propaganda.

Of course humor is a thought process far too complex for the average freeper (exhibit A: Dennis Miller) so they couldn't possibly understand that these comments are funny. Whereas most of what Bush says is laughable only because of it's puerile stupidity.
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onehandle Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-16-06 11:35 AM
Response to Original message
29. Bush=Moron. Clinton=Highly Intelligent. Case closed. nt
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Bozita Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-16-06 11:37 AM
Response to Original message
30. My "Bushism of the Week" for the week of January 8, 2006
"Good things happen when government gets out of the way." -- GWB in MISSISSIPPI of all places

This is from the guy in charge of making government work.

Oh, the irony.

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Tesla Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-16-06 11:45 AM
Response to Reply #30
32. I never have figured out the OBGYN quote
What was he referring to???
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Bozita Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-16-06 11:50 AM
Response to Reply #32
33. It certainly wasn't abstinence
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MindPilot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-16-06 11:50 AM
Response to Reply #32
34. He was talking about lawsuits and capping awards, IIRC
If he could speak English, it would've been something like "the cost of these lawsuits is forcing OB-GYNs to quit their practices."
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CornField Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-16-06 11:53 AM
Response to Original message
35. Freepers doin' their part to make sure 'our children is learnin'
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flyarm Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-16-06 11:57 AM
Response to Original message
36. THAT WOULD BE LIKE COMPARING EINSTEIN TO AND IDIOT! N/T
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flyarm Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-16-06 12:00 PM
Response to Reply #36
38. THE BEST BUSHISM WAS PEEANCE AND FREEANCE!!
AND IT WAS CORRECTED THE NEXT DAY IN ALL THE PAPERS AND THE WHITE HOUSE WEB SITE..AS PEACE AND FREEDOM..BUT BELIEVE ME I WATCHED IT OVER AND OVER ON CSPAN..HE SAID PEEANCE AND FREEANCE...

i think it was when they were testing the ifb in his ear!!

fly
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Taxloss Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-16-06 11:58 AM
Response to Original message
37. Not exactly "build the pie higher", is it?
Those are all coherent and witty. No OB/GYNs practising their love or words you won't find in any dictionary.
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Frustratedlady Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-16-06 12:11 PM
Response to Original message
39. I Miss Him SO Much!
I see nothing wrong with any of those quotes, except for the famous lie..."I didn't have sex with that woman."

I had my daughter (who teaches reading), glance through some Bushisms and give me her opinion. At first, it was nothing but head shaking, gasps and looks of incredulity. By the time she worked her way through 18 pages, she had tears streaming down her face...tears of laughter.

Her first comment was, "Well, that answers our question of why George is torturing us with that ridiculous No Child Left Behind program! He ARE one!"

I have one wish for George...that, before the end of his term, he can honestly repeat part of one of my favorite quotes listed in Bill's list:

"Sometimes I feel like the fire hydrant looking at a pack of dogs."

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semillama Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-16-06 12:40 PM
Response to Original message
40. how do these counter bushisms?
I mean, *'s quotes are clearly his attempts to utter something that passes as grammatically English. Those quotes from Clinton for the most part aren't even vaguely stupid (excepting the marijuana statement and the legalese parts). Most in fact demonstrate his sharp wit.

then again, this is exactly what you'd expect a clueless freeper to come up with.
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bunkerbuster1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-16-06 12:41 PM
Response to Original message
41. The Freepers hate him for his freedoms
boy, do they hate him.

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Orangepeel Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jan-16-06 01:06 PM
Response to Original message
43. most of these are great --
Is this the worst they could come up with? Some waffling on the legal issues, one "misspeak" (the liberal thing), but most are just witty comments. No "put food on our families" or "is our children learning" blunders.
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