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GlenP Donating Member (87 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-17-06 03:44 AM
Original message
My Uncle's Penis
Just here to give my fellow DUer's another wake up call.

And that is... it's working. My uncle's penis is becoming quite stiff again.

With the imposition of reality actually invading his fantasy world (the fundamentalist hateful bigoted limited capacity to think beyond his own immediate space and time world), and with an absolutely relentless effort on my part to open his eyes to reality, my Uncle's penis had been quite deflated recently.

You see he *IS* your typical die hard Bush/Republican voter.

He's a regular hard core church goer. Though he won't say it in the mixed company he holds quite bigoted views of different races, different cultures, different sexual orientations (though he's never been married and had very few female relations himself - all from what I can tell being non-sexual. And while he pretends to be very pious to his fellow church goers, he's quick to point out his lust for well endowed females.) He lives in a rural town and has a low paying dead-end manufacturing job that is always on the verge of threat to be moved elsewhere, to keep the lowly employees in line. They just moved his health insurance over to an HSA, which is not something a 53 year old with an $8.25 an hour job can manage very well, given his increasing number of health concerns.

I've had to work HARD to convince him that George Bush and the Republican party DO NOT represent his financial best interests, let alone civil liberties, rights, freedoms, and privacy. Don't think he cares much about the fate of the world (you know Armageddon just around the corner and all). And of course, the hateful bigotry is right up his alley so that's no bother.

Still, he's been coming around (or at least pretending to for my sake and to get me off his back).

But I have to tell you my friends, that the repugnicants and the Bush administration know how to play him like a fiddle. They've been winning elections like this for many years now, and it's a formula that continues to deliver.

Everything WE see through clearly being a stunt to shore up the base, works like a charm with him. If he didn't have a relentless relative shooting these stunts down to the best of my abilities, he'd be in a hypnotic stupor ready to pull the lever for every republican up for election.

Al Zarquwi being killed? HUGE viagra injection to my uncle. Of course I had to explain to him, AGAIN, that Zarquwi was originally in Northern Iraq, protected by the U.S. from being eliminated by Hussein, who hated al Queda. And that Bush had the opportunity to take him out before the Iraq invasion, but purposely choose not to, and that al queda only has a firm foot hold in Iraq BECAUSE of the U.S. invasion, etc.. etc.. etc..

The gay marriage stunt, the flag burning stunt, the war resolution stunt, even the recent Bush trip in to Baghdad. My uncle's boner was poking me in the damned eye over THAT little stunt. He couldn't wait to glow over how wonderful that was, and how that was going to be such a HUGE moral booster to the troops. LOL. Of course I did my best to deflate him AGAIN, by explaining that the troops are not particularly pleased to be coming to the realization that they were sent in there to be killed and maimed under false pretenses, without the proper equipment, with multiple deployments, and with reduced veterans benefits when they return.

Honestly, though I don't know if it's sticking. And even if it were, he's only one person, who has a relative that won't let up until he breaks free of his addiction to the republican party.

But he keeps looking for his next fix, and now that the November elections are coming, the Repugs are giving it to him in ample doses.

And as I've shown you, the sad thing is, as shallow, desperate, and futile as these republican stunts seem to us, they are working complete wonders on my Uncle. And if he is any indication of the typical republican base, he's going to be primed and ready to go by election day with a full bore raging hard-on to vote repugnicant. Many many months of hard work on my part are being obliterated by laughing repugnicants saying "You're massive does of reality are no match for what WE know about your Uncle's primitive animal brain".

We really have our work cut out for us folks. See repugs know there will be low voter turnout as usual in the midterms. So all they REALLY need to do is turn out their base. And folks, they are using a tried and true formula that from what I can see among one of these Kool-Aide drinkers in my own family, it's working.

The only way we can even hope to counter this is to do the seemingly impossible. And that is, to ensure a HUGE voter turnout. It has to be enough to offset the Kool-Aide drinking base, plus republican cheating and subterfuge. It is the only solution. We can't count on their base not turning out. They will be out, and out in droves, because Rove and friends are injecting that viagra as we speak and won't stop until after Nov '06.

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Quantess Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-17-06 03:49 AM
Response to Original message
1. And what's your point?
That your uncle's penis will have a show down with the Clenis... or what?
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GlenP Donating Member (87 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-17-06 04:02 AM
Response to Reply #1
2. My point is...

The point is, is that the only reason that repugnicants have been able to win elections despite an agenda that clearly goes against the best interests of the vast majority of Americans is because THEY know how to tap into that basal animalistic non-thinking brain of the American voter (which is especially prevalent among their neanderthalic base).

Sexual arousal being a fitting metaphor (perhaps even somewhat accurate response), as to what they accomplish with their mind games on the American public (especially their base).

And though we laugh at their seemingly pathetic attempts to obfuscate real serious issues facing our nation, they are using methods that have worked well for them in the past, and from my own personal perspective with this family member, are working just as well today.

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tenshi816 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-17-06 04:35 AM
Response to Reply #2
3. The thing is,
I don't think your uncle (and people like him) would vote for a Democrat under any circumstances, no matter what. It's nice that you're talking to him and getting the truth out, but he'd probably just not vote before voting Democratic anyway.
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Quantess Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-17-06 04:49 AM
Response to Reply #2
4. In that case,
you will appreciate the Democratic Slogan: New Direction, or, is that Nude Erection?
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Jeffersons Ghost Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-17-06 06:17 AM
Response to Reply #1
7. guess what quantessd? I wasn't going to vote or comment on this OP....
Until I saw your post...
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flordehinojos Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-17-06 05:51 AM
Response to Original message
5. is there ...
any way that bush's penis can be deflated so that people can see him for the true scumbag that he is?

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Rosemary2205 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-17-06 05:59 AM
Response to Original message
6. You can do better than this Glen!!
You only got "penis" in there 3 times. Well, a couple "boners" etc sure, but only 3 "penis". Dammit boy, go rewrite that sucker and don't come back until you get the "p" word in there at least 25 times!!

LOL. :)

Seriously though, these people would rather stay home than vote D. You have to understand that being a D is more dangerous than being al Queda to them.
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GlenP Donating Member (87 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-17-06 01:39 PM
Response to Reply #6
15. LOL

Ohhhh alright.

I'll try harder next time.

Er.... you know what I mean. :-D

And I hope you are right and most of them do stay home. Though the point I'm trying to get across is that we CANNOT count on that. The Rovian tactics they've used to get these people to the polls in the past, are indeed working on them. It's almost Pavlovian.

So, we have to assume that they WILL be out in force come November to vote Republican. Heck EVEN IF they were to flat out tell you they were going to vote Democrat, I suspect that once they got into that voting booth, a subconscious Rove plant into the primitive parts of their minds would find them pulling the lever for an all republican ballot.

I simply don't want us to be caught off guard AGAIN. The key to winning this (given current polls in our favor) is to have a massive turnout in November. If we can do that, we take back both the house AND the senate.
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no_hypocrisy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-17-06 06:30 AM
Response to Original message
8. Several good points.
Boiling it down, here's what has to happen:

1. Voters have to choose to be avoidant what the republicans have to offer.

2. Democrats have to have something really different and innovative, and almost certain to work, as an alternative. Rebound votes from republicans isn't enough.

3. The democrats have to find a charismatic, articulate, and accessible-appearing candidate (who reminds even the simplest voter of him/herself) to get out the message.

4. The message must be put out starting and continuing to 9 p.m. on Election Day 2008, every day, without sounding like a broken record. And the democrats have to start establishing "the message" before the republicans do, so the latter has to respond to the former.

5. When republicans criticize, a quick response highlighting the weakness and fallaciousness of their contentions must be made and repeated.

6. Voters like your uncle need to be courted like a sweetheart by democrats at all levels (local, regional, state, and federal) if we are to turn the corner.
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xchrom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-17-06 06:42 AM
Response to Original message
9. lol -- very funny.
i have other things to say about the democratic party embracing left wing politics -- but this penis thing is too good to interupt.
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Jeffersons Ghost Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-17-06 08:37 AM
Response to Reply #9
11. I agree... it's a good OP n/t
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mwb970 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-17-06 07:15 AM
Response to Original message
10. Amazing.
I guess I knew these sophomoric tricks were working on somebody or they wouldn't do them. It's like the way dull-witted people listen to Rushbo and actually believe everything he says without question. That attitude is so different from mine that it is hard to realize that real people are really being fooled by the most obvious tricks and scams I can imagine. Is Karl's job really all that hard with so many idiots out there?

Oh, and I have to admit that I first thought the title of this thread referred to an alternative rock band somewhere.
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hlthe2b Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-17-06 09:35 AM
Response to Original message
12. Great start with the fab subject line to "reel em in.."
LOL
Someone is a writer, or remembered those key issues from a class along the way. I'm betting you get lots of traffic on this post..

Oh, and a :toast: to your patience. I'm not sure I could do it, but maybe you feel obliged to your Mom or Dad to try to "help" this poor deluded fellow out.

I must say you did lose me on his paradoxical "hard ons" for big breasted women, though his life seems to be one of infrequent asexual encounters for which he can remain virtuous in church and I'm assuming not a closet gay? Ordinarily I wouldn't ask, nor care, but since the hook for this post is your RW uncle's erections and what elicits them, I can't help but ask... :shrug:
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MelissaB Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-17-06 10:22 AM
Response to Reply #12
13. Yep, he reeled me right in.
I had to check out the post.
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GlenP Donating Member (87 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-17-06 01:32 PM
Response to Reply #12
14. Mission Accomplished

LOL. Well this forum moves FAST, so I wanted something that was going to catch people's attention, and what better lure than genitals. :-D But it's not just my uncle's erections we are talking about here. It's the erections that ALL far right wing men get when they hear about things like war, killing of brown people (or as my uncle says 'towel-heads'), getting smoke blown up their ass by Bush and other republicans, etc... Rhetoric and stunts TRULY work with these people. Bush being landed on the aircraft carrier (though in their heads BUSH flew and landed that plane) was absolutely orgasmic to this type of person.

At any rate, my uncle and I share a common interest in space related topics, so we developed a rapport from that a long time ago.

Interestingly he is a space fanatic (much more so than I). He could probably tell you more about it than some people at NASA. And yet... he's a young earther who doesn't believe in evolution, or pretty much any science that his church and the republicans tell him not to believe in. Or at least on one level he doesn't. I have to believe that truly on a more intellectual level he must realize that the science is correct and what he is SUPPOSED to believe in Right-Wing-Fundamentalist-World is bunk.

Though, he's also one of these guys that believes pretty much every strange and out of this world thing he hears. He believes in big foot, the loch ness monster, the bermuda triangle, space aliens, you name it. ESPECIALLY space aliens. Every UFO picture he sees (no matter how fake looking) is real to him. Roswell happened, Project SERPO (a human/alien visitor exchange program) is happening, etc... And YET, in asking him, at first he would say aliens don't exist because they aren't in the Bible, but now he's saying that Jesus would have visited them too. I know one other guy who believes all these weird things too, and he is ALSO a hard core right winger. It may be endemic of that species.

As to his sexuality. I've often wondered. He makes as though he lusts after voluptuous looking women, and yet I think he may be a 53 year old virgin. He also speaks unkindly about gay people. I've considered the possibility that he's a closet case, which wouldn't be surprising since he's been deeply wedded to his religious beliefs from a young age. It would explain his hostility toward gay people.

So... anyhow hopefully that gives you some insight into the mind of one type of Bush/Republican voter. Unfortunately, despite all my efforts, it may be hopeless to get him to ever vote Democrat. Democrats deal WAY too much with actual reality. Hence, my call to arms that we MUST ensure enormous voter turnout in November.

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kiraboo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Jun-17-06 02:08 PM
Response to Original message
16. I take your meaning, but I'm really not up to the visuals
the OP provokes. Sigh.
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