Why does normal America allow Elmer to live among us?

[ProgressivePatriot]

A little satire to ease the tension.

Enjoy!!

http://www.elmerfudd.us/whylive.htm

[Warpy]

1. I would never want to euthanize Elmer. He's not the problem.

You see, he's doing all the dumbest things in the world for the most wrongheaded reasons, but he gives us lots of amusement in the process. Plus he's completely ineffectual, tripping himself up and causing no harm at all to the wascally wabbit or anything else he's trained his (metaphorical) shotgun on.

Besides, he's a perfect example of what to scare our children out of turning into.

[rocktivity]

2. Had a close encounter with an Elmer Friday afternoon!

You know who Elmer is:

He's the moron driving an H2 "Hummer" up and down the hills at the head of long lines of cars, getting 10 miles to the gallon while (his) snow tires...are screaming in bloody torture against the pavement...

...He constitutes a health and safety hazard to himself and to others around him, either because he's got a gun or because he's a male with a pickup truck or SUV (surrogate penis enlarger) that he thinks makes him a man...

Elmers also have tend have "SUV-itis"--to be infected with the idea that having four-wheel drive gives them a divine right to go at least sixty miles an hour even though the roads are wet or icy. I know this because less than 48 hours ago, shortly after it had started to rain, a Hummer3 made an out-of-control U-turn across a grass median and took out my left tail light.

Fortunately, I was the far right lane, and there was no traffic in front of me or to my left. So I was able to see it coming, hit the gas, and avoid being struck hard enough to lose control of my car. Unfortunately, the Elmer totaled at least two cars behind me, damaged at least four others, and required that one driver be cut out of his car and sent to the hospital via helicopter.

:headbang:
rocknation

[rocktivity]

3. Elmer Update?

When an Elmer takes out your tailight on a Friday, what do you do for an encore? Well, on my way to work this morning, traffic slowed to a stop. A couple of police cars went by in the shoulder lanes, then a cloud of black smoke arose from around the bend. More police cars, fire engines, and ambulances went by, and the helicopter made two trips. Then, like the sanitation department after a parade, along came the tow trucks. Traffic was allowed to crawl along the right-hand shoulder lane while they cleared away--WAIT FOR IT!--a burned-out SUV!!!

:crazy:
rocknation