Heaviest Element Ever Discovered

[Greylyn58]

A major research institution has just announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named "Bushcronium."

Bushcronium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an Atomic mass of 311. These 311 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since Bushcronium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Bushcronium causes one reaction to take over 4 days to complete when it would normally take less than a second. Bushcronium has a normal half-life of multiples of 4 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Bushcronium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to believe that Bushcronium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass."

When catalyzed with money, Bushcronium activates Foxnewsium, an element which radiates orders of magnitude, more energy, albeit as incoherent noise, since it has 1/2 as many peons but twice as many morons.

Bushcronium can spontaneously transmute into Pandemonium.



I wish I could take credit for this, but a friend sent it to me. However it describes BushWorld in a nutshell. :rofl:

[eauclaireliberal]

1. "isodopes" LOL

God, that is hysterical.

[Greylyn58]

10. Yeah that had me laughing too

:rofl:

[AX10]

2. kick

[dubeskin]

3. That was great

At first as I started to read, I thought that was really a new element, and I am thinking, "How can they name it after Bush?" but then I get into it and it is pretty funny. I like that.:rofl::patriot:

[BrklynLiberal]

4. ROTFLMAO!!!

What a great concept.
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[IDemo]

5. Subatomic particles have a 'spin' property, as do Bush morons n/t

[Greylyn58]

14. Bush Morans

do love to spin...and do it better than anyone.

[driver8]

6. I just sent that to my veterans' board where 98% of the guys are

Bush lovers. I cannot wait for the backlash!!

[Greylyn58]

9. It should be interesting

:evilgrin:

[Swamp Rat]

7. LOL!

I saw this before but forgot to copy it. Thanks for posting it. :)

:kick:

[Greylyn58]

11. You are welcome

I couldn't resist. :evilgrin:

[DemoTex]

8. This periodic chart needs Bushcronium. Stat!

As it were, many elements influencing the chemistry of the Bu$h Regime are already here. I refer specifically to the Dingy Gases (Moron - M, Asinine - As, and Rapine - Rp).

[driver8]

12. Al Kaline Metals!! Now that's funny!

Where did you find that chart?? Very creative...

[DemoTex]

13. I'm partial to the Fey Metals, myself.

I remembered it from an old Atlantic Monthly piece. Google did the rest.

[dysfunctional press]

15. are you sure that it isn't "bushcranium"...?

or am i confusing it with the hardest substance known to man?

[Greylyn58]

16. Good one

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

We may need to create a whole new catagory for this!!!

[DemoTex]

17. Bushcranium (mineral, not element) is not nearly as hard as you think.

In fact, it is one of the softest minerals on earth. It can be easily marred by talc or PNACium. Jeebusium scratches Bushcranium very easily too. In fact, Bushcranium should be separated from Jeebusium at all time .. lest damage occur.

[Greylyn58]

22. I love it!!!!

:evilgrin:

And you're right...Bushcranium is a really soft mineral and getting softer every day.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[DearAbby]

18. Ooo Ooo! One question...Is there an object powerful enough to lift it

and toss it out?

Great read! :rofl:

[DemoTex]

21. No. Only the anti-matter to Bushcronium will work.

Democraticus. Pure & undiluted.

[Greylyn58]

23. LOL!

Democraticus. Sounds very Roman!!!

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[TheCentepedeShoes]

19. Another version of

this could be the as yet unknown "kuladium" found only in the Eyewash Gulch region of the Halibut Range. (I amuse myself on weekends by working on my own parody of Bush*Co set in the old west)

[TankLV]

20. It's BUSHIT, right? Very sticky substance, too!

Hard to get rid of and stains REAL BAD!

I posted without reading the OP!

HA!

Great minds think alike!

[Greylyn58]

24. Smells real bad too

:evilgrin:

[Zorra]

25. It should be noted that the fundamental particles of bushcronium

neutrons are known as "quirks". Quirks are highly unstable, and when the quirks that comprise the neutrons in bushcronium are exposed to daylight and combined with hot air, they produce the deadly by-product of bushcronium known as baloneyum, which is the primary sub-atomic building block of both foxneusium and snowmium.

[Greylyn58]

26. Hahahahaha

Love it!!!

[MazeRat7]

27. I love it .. held together by forces called "morons"...thats rich. Thanks

[Greylyn58]

28. And unfortunately true

:(