There was a time when I would defend the confederate flag

[RagingInMiami]

Because in my experience, many people viewed it as a symbol of southern pride rather than a return to slavery. In my experience, it was more about southern culture than southern lynching (and no, they are not one and the same).

I knew many racists and neo-nazis swore by the flag, but I also knew many southerners who were not at all racist who did not see anything offensive about the confederate flag. To them, it was just something that had been passed down from generation to generation. If anything, it was anti-northern rather than anti-black.

But it was on DU that I learned that despite the true intentions and feelings of the person waving the flag, one must take into consideration the feelings and emotions of the people who are offended by the flag.

It was on DU that I learned one must be sympathetic and considerate of other people's viewpoints because you can be hurtful without even trying.

Then there was the time when I called a gay person a "homo". I truly did not see anything offensive about it. I've heard gay men call each other homo numerous times. And I just felt that it was a shortened version of homosexual and nothing else.

But then a well-known lesbian on DU informed me that it was offensive. I argued with her at first and even continued the discussion with her when I met her in DC at last year's protest. And again, I learned that just because I don't think the word is offensive, doesn't necessarily mean the word is not offensive.

So I no longer defend the confederate flag and I no longer use the word homo. I don't believe in hurting people who have done nothing to me. I've learned that the people who decide what is offensive are those who are offended, not those who are not offended.

Which brings me to the word "alien". I find it offensive as many other Hispanics and non-Hispanics do. But the white majority on DU believes it is not offensive because, after all, they themselves are not offended by it.

I even had one DUer tell me that I don't decide what is offensive. So I want to hear from the rest of DU: Who decides what is offensive?

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=364&topic_id=1095103&mesg_id=1112844

[Sinti]

1. The offended decide what is offensive, IMO

I'm a Southerner, myself, and as a kid always thought the flag was a symbol for rebellion in the general sense. As a teen I was informed (or realized) it was offensive/hurtful to others around me. Not that I waved it, but I wouldn't have for that very reason.

[hexola]

2. It's the suppression of the word that gives it the power...

It's the suppression of the word that gives it the power, the violence, the viciousness. - Lenny Bruce

Ever hear the Lenny Bruce bit where he talks about the word "nigger?"

http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Lenny_Bruce

Are there any niggers here tonight? Could you turn on the house lights, please, and could the waiters and waitresses just stop serving, just for a second? And turn off this spot. Now what did he say? "Are there any niggers here tonight?" I know there's one nigger, because I see him back there working. Let's see, there's two niggers. And between those two niggers sits a kike. And there's another kike— that's two kikes and three niggers. And there's a spic. Right? Hmm? There's another spic. Ooh, there's a wop; there's a polack; and, oh, a couple of greaseballs. And there's three lace-curtain Irish micks. And there's one, hip, thick, hunky, funky, boogie. Boogie boogie. Mm-hmm. I got three kikes here, do I hear five kikes? I got five kikes, do I hear six spics, I got six spics, do I hear seven niggers? I got seven niggers. Sold American. I pass with seven niggers, six spics, five micks, four kikes, three guineas, and one wop. Well, I was just trying to make a point, and that is that it's the suppression of the word that gives it the power, the violence, the viciousness. Dig: if President Kennedy would just go on television, and say, "I would like to introduce you to all the niggers in my cabinet," and if he'd just say "nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger" to every nigger he saw, "boogie boogie boogie boogie boogie," "nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger" 'til nigger didn't mean anything anymore, then you could never make some six-year-old black kid cry because somebody called him a nigger at school.

Never quite sure I agreed with Lenny - but he makes an interesting point...

[Toots]

3. So should people smoke in public?

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