A rare, half-way decent discussion about men who don't pay child support from GDP.

[BlueIris]

It's good stuff. (Well, as of this posting, nothing vile has been posting and it appears to me there are two or three excellent, if sad, comments.)

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=132&topic_id=3377123&mesg_id=3377123

[ismnotwasm]

1. I always find those discussions interesting

To say the least. I was a very young mother with two children. I never received child support. I was low income as were the fathers of my children. Dirt poor with a street mentality. It never occurred to me to ask for child support until my oldest daughter was about 8. (Didn't work) In retrospect, I realize that I took the entire responsibility of parenthood myself--(which I wasn't suited for) dismissed the biological fathers as useless (which they were). More telling, I think I felt guilty, as though the whole situation was my fault, and the male side of the equation shouldn't be "punished" for "my" mistake. Of course this is a much longer story, but let me jump ahead a few years;

My husband (my only husband, I was never a marriage fan) had custody of his two daughters when I met him. Their mother was psychologically disturbed, and not in their life much. She also didn't pay child support, but there was a time in her life before a very tragic end, where she was able to parent those girls to the best of her ability. The difference was she wanted to, she desperately wanted to be a part of their lives. She took them to dentists, doctors, to get haircuts, whatnot. Being unstable, this only lasted a two or three years before her death. I ended up playing the role of gatekeeper with her, trying to assist her in motherhood, letting her do the best she could with what she had without causing harm. Also, a much longer story.

So I guess what I'm trying to say, is I've been on either "side". What I learned, is that there is only one side and that's the side of the children. To not try to parent, or at least not pay child support is bullshit, I don't care what the situation is. We went though my husband's ex-wife's troubles and death, and found a way. When I see some of the comments on those types of threads, especially those complaining about ex-wives or the duplicity of women, I think so the fuck what? What about the kids? I'm glad you found a decent one, because like you said, they are rare.