De-lurking.

[Withywindle]

Hi all. :hi: I'm Withywindle, and I drink too much.

I'm not willing to admit I'm an alcoholic yet, if I am. I have to be honest about that. But I drink too much. I've cut way back from where I was two years ago (reading this group helps) but it's still more than I'd like. I still feel out of control sometimes.

I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. I like myself better when I'm sober.

I'm leery of groups and programs. But you guys are awesome. I just wanted to tell you that, I was starting to feel guilty about the lurking.

[NMDemDist2]

1. lots of folks go through periods of heavy drinking (esp in their youth)

if you find when start drinking you can't stop or if you know not to drink, but you do anyway then you have a problem.

alcoholism is a liver enzyme deficiency that is a disease. heavy drinking is just being foolish.

I truly hope you are in the second category.

thanks for checking in!

:hi:

[Withywindle]

5. I've been in those situations, yes.

I hope I'm in the second category too but I'm starting to have doubts about that.

I turned 39 last week. Time for a change.

Thanks!

[Tab]

2. hi withywindle

forgive my lowercase... my shift key is shot.


it sounds like you're ready for a change.. great!

some things like AA are pick-and-choose. the big thing is to communicate with others like you.

in aa, you'll find a variety of meetings - speaker/discussions, step meetings, big book meetings, etc.

i personally like the speaker/discussion - i like to hear what others went through or are going through.

there are step meetings; i don't care for them myself, but others like the structure of the process.

there are also big book meetings - read from the book and discuss.

pick what you want.

or be here. the point is not to drink and to continue to communicate.

welcome

[Withywindle]

6. Communicating about it is hard

but I always feel better after I've made myself do it. Funny how that works.

I've just gotten to the point where drinking isn't a reward anymore, it's a punishment.

[Justpat]

3. Hi.

I'm Old Broad and I drank too much too - except with me there was never any doubt that I was
anything but a complete, totally pickled alcoholic.

Lots of us were/are leery of groups and programs but we found that we got results from following
certain principles that we learned in the groups. With me, results were what mattered. I had tried
everything imaginable before coming to AA.

Welcome to our group.

:hi:

[Withywindle]

7. Hi, Old Broad!

Thanks for the welcome.

I feel so on-the-fence and wait-and-see right now. I love the way you folks are non-judgmental about that.

[Justpat]

9. We don't judge people here

and it is not AA policy to give advice or judge anyone. That is why it says
that we are to share our experience, strength and hope with one another.
It is what works for us.

And after my bottom of the barrel lifestyle as a drunk, who am I to
judge anyone?

[Withywindle]

10. I do appreciate that, so much.

And after my bottom of the barrel lifestyle as a drunk, who am I to
judge anyone?

That sounds so self-deprecating. I hope you have a wry smile on your face when you say that.

[Kajsa]

4. Welcome Withywindle,

It takes a lot to admit,

1. Having a problem with drinking.

2. Being an alcoholic.

Some people die trying to avoid either one.

Like AZ Dem and all the others here have stated,
if you find you WANT to stop, but CAN'T----
then you need help. We can't do it alone.

AA meetings and groups vary a lot.
It takes time to check out a number of them and
find where you feel comfortable.

:-)

Check in with us and let us know how you're doing, OK?

:hi:

[Withywindle]

8. Thanks!

Aw, you guys are so welcoming.

I denied it was a problem for quite a while. Now it seems pointless to do that. Obviously it is a problem, and I turned 39 last week - I don't want to wreck my health when my body isn't as resilient as it used to be. And I don't have any margin for error in this economy either, so I can't do stupid shit.

Dealing with this issue head-on is my birthday gift to myself. :hi:

[KitchenWitch]

11. Hi Withywindle

I am glad you found us. I can only echo what others have said. Only you can decide if you are an alcoholic. Feel free to read, post, and share in the fellowship we have here.

:hi:

:hug:

[Withywindle]

12. Thanks, KitchenWitch!

:hi:

I know that I am a person who has issues with drinking, and who needs to take steps to turn that around. What those steps will turn out to be, I don't know yet. I know it's good for me to admit that and talk with others who have insight about it.

This is such a welcoming forum! :hug: