Democratic Underground Latest Greatest Lobby Journals Search Options Help Login
Google

Have info, seeking advice

Printer-friendly format Printer-friendly format
Printer-friendly format Email this thread to a friend
Printer-friendly format Bookmark this thread
Home » Discuss » DU Groups » Support Groups » Coping with Divorce or Separation Group Donate to DU
 
elleng Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Mar-03-10 02:49 AM
Original message
Have info, seeking advice
I met with my attorney, joel, 'stranged' husb, john, and alternative dispute resolution guy (jonathan) today; met with joel and husb john couple weeks ago, resulted in 'confusion' because husb is duplicitous in my view. Atty had never had such meeting w. husb before, and was confused by john's attitudes about somethings. (LOVE atty, very diligent, smart and fair. Told me today he thinks john is a sociopath! LOVED hearing that!)

We are at the stage of negotiating for a separation agreement. (Divorce not on table now, as I benefit from his govt employee health benefit plan insurance.) john does a fine job confusing everyone by citing law (we're ALL lawyers) instead of answering questions directly. I want to avoid trial (he assaulted me, so I left house). House sold, and I'm seeking 50% of 'gain.' I don't want to waste the time or spend the money at trial, which will require lots of discovery, and going into complex and ambiguous areas.

SO, what I'd like to know is this! Our 25-year old daughter told me today that she is engaged! We like the guy very much, they've been 'together' since her Freshman college year and she's in Grad school now. They've been around Philly since she began college, and due to the way society works (ours, anyway) I haven't observed, close-up and personal, the pre-wedding ritual! (Don't know when they're thinking wedding will be; we had a VERY short conversation!)

SO, whomever knows something, please tell me what's expected of me, the mother, in these early days after announcement, and as time goes on! I think I have to include this stuff in what I'll need from john, to comply with my obligations! (I'm retired.)

Thanks for any help!

E
Refresh | 0 Recommendations Printer Friendly | Permalink | Reply | Top
babylonsister Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-05-10 09:39 PM
Response to Original message
1. First off, how about a ladder and give her cash?
Ha, kidding. I know it's important for everyone.

Pre-wedding ritual? I'm not comprehending your question, especially considering no date has been set.

And darn, but I wish I had been a lawyer or knew the viability of holding out due to health care. I'm going to lose mine real soon. I didn't know that could stall the negotiations so long.
Printer Friendly | Permalink | Reply | Top
 
elleng Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Mar-05-10 10:23 PM
Response to Reply #1
2. NO LADDER NEEDED!
Edited on Fri Mar-05-10 10:27 PM by elleng
They live together! Unfortunately, she (and her sister!) attended with us lots of cousins' weddings (in Ohio), so learned something about what some would consider 'big' weddings. (To others, not so big!)

They think I'm weird for being SO un-! (I married in folks home, and wanted reception on lawn! FOLKS' guest list {in Florida} too long, so had to have it at 'the club.' OK, folks did all the planning. OK with us.

As to 'rituals,' was thinking about pre-wedding parties, etc. Girls have been thinking and working, so Engagement Dinner will be here (DC). Rehearsal, that's another thing. Amy (bride) is my advisor. I've sent a HELLO card to future inlaws; have met them. We'll see.

Just learned that 'husb' is sociopath; explains lots of things. Time for meds! (MINE!)

ps, I'm elible for Medicare, so definitely not focused on health care (unlike so many others.)
Printer Friendly | Permalink | Reply | Top
 
DU AdBot (1000+ posts) Click to send private message to this author Click to view 
this author's profile Click to add 
this author to your buddy list Click to add 
this author to your Ignore list Tue Oct 21st 2014, 04:46 AM
Response to Original message
Advertisements [?]
 Top

Home » Discuss » DU Groups » Support Groups » Coping with Divorce or Separation Group Donate to DU

Powered by DCForum+ Version 1.1 Copyright 1997-2002 DCScripts.com
Software has been extensively modified by the DU administrators


Important Notices: By participating on this discussion board, visitors agree to abide by the rules outlined on our Rules page. Messages posted on the Democratic Underground Discussion Forums are the opinions of the individuals who post them, and do not necessarily represent the opinions of Democratic Underground, LLC.

Home  |  Discussion Forums  |  Journals |  Store  |  Donate

About DU  |  Contact Us  |  Privacy Policy

Got a message for Democratic Underground? Click here to send us a message.

© 2001 - 2011 Democratic Underground, LLC